Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 27 - Mothering Forums

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#781 of 793 Old 12-02-2014, 01:24 PM
 
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Ah, well, it turns out it's not a sticky bean. I got the call today, and my beta has only risen to 112, from 92, in two days. And not only that, the nurse who called to give me the first number, apparently had mistakenly looked at the chart wrong-- she was looking at numbers for 3 weeks, when it should have been for 4 weeks. So the normal range at 4 weeks is 270-1100. So 92 was way off...

So, I go off the progesterone, and they want me to go every week for a check of betas until it gets down to 5. I'm not sure how long that is going to take, because when I had early losses before I hadn't been monitored with betas and such... Seems so odd, to just sit here and wait for a miscarriage. We are booked to go to Cuba December 13th to 20 for family vacation, and all I can think about is how it may happen when I'm there. Or my birthday, which is the 20th.

I feel kind of numb about the whole thing, actually. I wasn't getting my hopes up much, even if the 92 had been a valid number for my dpo-- because I could feel my pregnancy symptoms lessening the last couple days. About not getting my hopes up-- I wasn't sure if that was my intuition, or if it was a defense mechanism.

I guess it wasn't a good egg this time around. I hope my husband wants to try again, and if he does, we catch a healthy one next time.

Me & DH ; DS (Aug 2010) ; DD1 (May 2012) ; DD2 (Nov 2013)
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#782 of 793 Old 12-03-2014, 11:24 PM
 
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tenzin--I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending a big hug to you!

SAHM bf.gif, DH reading.gif, DD  (03/05) dust.gif, DS1hola.gif(01/09), DS2 babyf.gif(06/12) & dog2.gif

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#783 of 793 Old 12-04-2014, 05:36 AM
 
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tenzin, sorry about your loss. I began posting here last summer when we started ttc. I was 40 and nursing my 18 month old a lot. Over the past year Of bfn's I struggled with weaning my possibly only child in attempt to have a second one that might not ever happen. I slowly got DS down to one feeding in the morning. 6 weeks ago I had a chemical pregnancy. Since then, I have dropped down to feeding once a week- and I still produce enough milk to squirt it out with a squeeze!

I had my fsh and amh tested this month, both in the normal range for a 35 year old.

I had suffered pelvic floor prolapse with my first child and had never returned to my previous level of exercise, though I walk a lot and have a very active job. The month I got pregnant was the month I decided to stop ttc. I had started back with gentle yoga and low impact aerobics most evenings.

Besides the pregnancy, I also became completely pain-free in my back and pelvic area!

The pregnancy is making me rethink my desire to stop ttc. The end of pain and improved energy are also making me think I could handle another child.

Anyway, since the chemical pregnancy I started following this thread again and just wanted to check in. The exercise programs I've been doing are easy and available for little or no cost through amazin prime, if anyone is interested.

Good luck, everyone!
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#784 of 793 Old 12-06-2014, 11:45 PM
 
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So, I turn 40 in six months, and we are going to TTC about that time. My youngest is 12, and my dh has finally decided that he wants a baby, which will be our first child together. We are both thrilled, but, I'm also so stressed out because I'm terrified that I'm too old. My boys are fantastic and were happy surprised, not planned at all....I was young and never really thought about fertility, only about avoiding getting preggo, lol.

Now, here I am, older and presumably way less fertile. I started taking a good multivitamin and vitex. Anything else I should do to get myself ready? Am I setting my self up for disappointment?

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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#785 of 793 Old 12-13-2014, 11:20 AM
 
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Thought I would post a quick update... so yesterday, at 6 weeks pregnant, my beta level is only up to 896. It is rising, but ever so slowly... I know the numbers should be much, much higher, so I agree with the docs that this is nonviable (although I guess there is a part of me that still hopes for a miracle). They are diagnosing me as having PUL-- pregnancy of unknown location. Along with the serial beta hcgs, I have now had 3 u/s scans, and nothing is showing up anywhere. It isn't surprising that nothing is seen intrauterine, because they need levels to be at least 1000 for that. So I am pregnant, but they don't know where the embryo is. They are concerned about ectopic, but if the numbers start to go down then they think that wherever it is, I could just have expectant management-- they would just keep a close eye on me, and then eventually if the numbers are down to 5 or less they can say the pregnancy is over-- my body would have absorbed the embryo. I am feeling very depressed, and also scared. Certainly, I am keeping close watch on signs of ectopic, but mostly, what I'm frightened about is that this may a very long time to resolve and it is time that is precious, given that my 45th birthday is a week from today. I go for another beta-- my 6th one. I never thought I would ever wish for a 'regular, straightforward' miscarriage-- this alternative I am facing, of not knowing where the baby implanted and how long it's going to take, let alone how it will resolve (expectant, medical or surgical), is really hard to deal with. We were supposed to have gone to Cuba today, but with the way things are, I'm being advised that the furthest away I can travel is to my parents' place-- they are out of town and at opposite end of city where we live, but there is a large hospital ER at that end and is only 30 minutes from their home. Sorry for being so depressing on here, it's the Christmas season and I wish I had good news and hope to share on this thread.

Sraplayas, I hope things are going well with you. Any updates?

Hi to everyone else... about supplements and such, a few pages back there is a some good info about that. I wasn't taking much, just Co-enzyme Q10, ubiquinol form.

Me & DH ; DS (Aug 2010) ; DD1 (May 2012) ; DD2 (Nov 2013)
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#786 of 793 Old 12-14-2014, 09:41 AM
 
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Tenszin...sorry...feckitol. that sucks.

I have only lost 1..extreme sadness so my heart is out for you
...and not been able to get pg since.

45 has come and gone.

i am very ready to be done breastfeeding this one!

mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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#787 of 793 Old 12-15-2014, 01:08 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tenzinsmama View Post
Thought I would post a quick update... so yesterday, at 6 weeks pregnant, my beta level is only up to 896. It is rising, but ever so slowly... I know the numbers should be much, much higher, so I agree with the docs that this is nonviable (although I guess there is a part of me that still hopes for a miracle). They are diagnosing me as having PUL-- pregnancy of unknown location. Along with the serial beta hcgs, I have now had 3 u/s scans, and nothing is showing up anywhere. It isn't surprising that nothing is seen intrauterine, because they need levels to be at least 1000 for that. So I am pregnant, but they don't know where the embryo is. They are concerned about ectopic, but if the numbers start to go down then they think that wherever it is, I could just have expectant management-- they would just keep a close eye on me, and then eventually if the numbers are down to 5 or less they can say the pregnancy is over-- my body would have absorbed the embryo. I am feeling very depressed, and also scared. Certainly, I am keeping close watch on signs of ectopic, but mostly, what I'm frightened about is that this may a very long time to resolve and it is time that is precious, given that my 45th birthday is a week from today. I go for another beta-- my 6th one. I never thought I would ever wish for a 'regular, straightforward' miscarriage-- this alternative I am facing, of not knowing where the baby implanted and how long it's going to take, let alone how it will resolve (expectant, medical or surgical), is really hard to deal with. We were supposed to have gone to Cuba today, but with the way things are, I'm being advised that the furthest away I can travel is to my parents' place-- they are out of town and at opposite end of city where we live, but there is a large hospital ER at that end and is only 30 minutes from their home. Sorry for being so depressing on here, it's the Christmas season and I wish I had good news and hope to share on this thread.

Sraplayas, I hope things are going well with you. Any updates?

Hi to everyone else... about supplements and such, a few pages back there is a some good info about that. I wasn't taking much, just Co-enzyme Q10, ubiquinol form.
So sorry you are having to go through this. My first m/c was a "missed miscarriage" - you know, no symptoms . . . Except for a single cramp that concerned me. I had to wait a while for things to progress and when they didn't on their own, saw an acupuncturist and that was successful.

Wishing you peace and comfort.

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels. Expected my 2nd rainbow baby 2/15!
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#788 of 793 Old 12-15-2014, 02:09 PM
 
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tenzinsmama - I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs. I am hoping that it resolves without your having to have an intervention (medical or surgical) did your last beta test show the levels going down?

I just had a 29 day cycle. I haven't had a 29 day cycle in 18 months or so - I wonder what that means? Of course I am convinced that it "means" something - it may not. I just feel like my time is so limited that I try to read meaning into every little variation of my cycle. 46th birthday is just around the corner (less than 2 weeks)

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#789 of 793 Old 12-15-2014, 08:51 PM
 
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Tenzinsmama, I'm so sorry to hear that

"Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen." Ralph Marston

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#790 of 793 Old 12-18-2014, 11:12 PM
 
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Tenzinsmama!

Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this! I had an ectopic a couple of years ago, so I know very well what this is like. It's both heart breaking (the loss) and scary. Is there any news? Have you had any additional ultrasounds or a D&C to rule out / diagnose ectopic? Is it resolving on its own with expectant management?

I am sending you extra hugs… I just started a miscarriage myself tonight. I was nearly 5 weeks, so very early, but it still really, really sucks. Thinking of you and sending you healing wishes.

Hello to my other friends!

xoxo

treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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#791 of 793 Old 12-19-2014, 01:50 PM
 
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Litmama

mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th

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#792 of 793 Old Today, 12:39 PM
 
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Hi everyone, I have an update...

I had a scan and beta done at the start of the week. The scan was done at my clinic and the doc doing it didn't think I had an ectopic. He saw something in the uterus, but it wasn't anything resembling a normal pregnancy. My beta showed a normal doubling time, and it had gone up to 1775. Super low for 7.5 weeks pregnant. Then on Friday I had a scan done at the regular radiology place, and the result was super scary-- the findings were suggestive of gestational trophoblastic disease. No ectopic. Weird, because how it could be GTB with such low hcg levels? So I went to hospital immediately, they got me in for a DnC and laparaoscopy that evening. Spent the next 24 hours in hospital, (was my 45th birthday yesterday-- ugh) got home last night. I am broken. I am so, so scared, and grieving the loss of the pregnancy, my future fertility, my health... Pathology results will take a few days, I can only wait and hope it's just some weird thing that my uterus did in reaction to a missed miscarriage.

Oh Litmama, I am so, so sorry for your loss. It's all so unfair, isn't it? Talk about heart breaking. xo

Me & DH ; DS (Aug 2010) ; DD1 (May 2012) ; DD2 (Nov 2013)
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#793 of 793 Old Today, 12:48 PM
 
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Hi everyone!
Something keeps bringing me back to the mothering forums. I'm not officially TTC, but I definitely have my cycle in my head and the few times DH and I manage to find time to DTD it just so happens to be around what I estimate to be my most fertile times. In fact, I think that's the only reason I manage to find the energy for it. We'll see what happens with this cycle as I'm sure I felt O pain the same day we DTD last time.
We have five amazing children between 18 months old and 10 yrs old. I'd try for a million children if I didn't always end up with C-sections despite my best efforts.
I'll soon be 42 and my heart and head are a bit at odds. My body is exhausted from my 3 yr old and 18 month old who take a long time to go to sleep (3 yr old) and wake frequently at night to nurse (18 month old.)
On one hand I look forward to traveling more places with older children; on the other hand I mourn the passing of this phase of life. I get excited about the prospect of being pregnant each time we DTD near the optimal days to conceive. So I'll hang out here from time to time if you don't mind!
Wishing you all luck in TTC and also happy holidays!

Mom to 5 amazing kids! (DS10, DS8, DD5, DD3 and DS1)
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