Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 29 - Mothering Forums

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#841 of 901 Old 03-27-2015, 10:45 PM
 
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So, we are actually starting to TTC. Well, I should say that we have officially started not to prevent....we aren't planning sex around ovulation yet, just, not taking any precautions

This is the first time I've ever had intentional conception sex, it's awesome!

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#842 of 901 Old 03-31-2015, 02:48 PM
 
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i miscalculated and missed fsh test...ffs going to test in April.
nexxus hope the morning sickness is a good sign!
weaning my 3.5 is not going well

Saoirse it must be a good sign to be REALLY nauseus, I am still preggo at 9.5 weeks.

I weaned my little boy at 3.5 too! I was terrified because I felt it was his life support. I actually did exclusive nursing the first 11-12 months of his life, no other foods or liquids. His immune system was amazing because of it. What worked for me is I was sick and he was kicking me just as a habit, (we nurse laying down) that was it for me, I couldn't take it any more being sick. But I really did miss it afterwards. All that I needed was for him to sleep through the night and once he started doing that I no longer needed to nurse him back to sleep, so the timing was perfect. He has adapted well and doesn't notice the lack of nursing at all. He forgot pretty quick about it. He's now 4.5. Hope that helps!

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#843 of 901 Old 04-03-2015, 12:30 PM
 
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Happy to hear this, @nexxus !
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#844 of 901 Old 04-03-2015, 07:42 PM
 
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Happy to hear this, @nexxus !
Thank you tenzinsmama, I'm now at 10 weeks and getting scan and genetic testing on Monday.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
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#845 of 901 Old 04-07-2015, 01:46 PM
 
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Hope all goes well, @nexxus !
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#846 of 901 Old 04-08-2015, 05:53 PM
 
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Hope all goes well, @nexxus !
Heart beat 171, measuring at 10 weeks 2 days ( I thought I was 10 weeks 3 days) so only one day off. Only ONE baby in there thank goodness! What a relief that was.

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#847 of 901 Old 04-11-2015, 10:45 AM
 
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Nexxus - what great news!

I think that we have had sex once in the past 6 months that involved "swimmers" during my fertile window - I am thinking at this point that perhaps DP really DOESNT want more kids and is using his ED as an excuse.

He has had ED for awhile now and the viagra used to help. In the past year he started another medication for another medical condition and this new med counteracts any positive effects of the viagra. The thing of it is - he has other options to treat this new medical condition. There are other meds that don't cause such severe sexual side effects. But he doesn't talk to his doctor about them or ask to try them - despite my asking him to do so.

I am just left feeling so angry and sad by this.


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#848 of 901 Old 04-11-2015, 01:18 PM
 
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Nexxus - what great news!

I think that we have had sex once in the past 6 months that involved "swimmers" during my fertile window - I am thinking at this point that perhaps DP really DOESNT want more kids and is using his ED as an excuse.

He has had ED for awhile now and the viagra used to help. In the past year he started another medication for another medical condition and this new med counteracts any positive effects of the viagra. The thing of it is - he has other options to treat this new medical condition. There are other meds that don't cause such severe sexual side effects. But he doesn't talk to his doctor about them or ask to try them - despite my asking him to do so.

I am just left feeling so angry and sad by this.
Thanks orangemomma! Sorry to hear you didn't get much of a chance those last 6 months, that is just so sad! I'm lucky no ED with mine, he's 46 and obese, BMI of 30 but it still works some how! I've been on him about the obesity for 10 years and it caused his low sperm count which I corrected with FertileAid and Count Boost. Maybe you could try something natural like herbal?

oh and just now he is dealing with a new health problem related to obesity; a kidney stone. So his sperm were just subject to a CAT scan in the ER, so I told him I better stay pregnant because now his sperm are fried for 72 days. I'm hoping he will finally end his obesity after dealing with the excruciating pain of kidney stone, plus he has sleep apnea, and higher blood pressure.

Sorry you are dealing with that, that has to be very frustrating. Diet could be a factor, blood supply could be compromised to the penis? I heard that is a leading cause. Maybe you can get him to start running too. Mine is obese but vegan so I guess his blood supply is okay. He needs to work as a team with you. Whatever I ask mine to do, he does it because he wants a second baby too.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
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#849 of 901 Old 04-11-2015, 08:39 PM
 
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@nexxus , that is really great news! I am so happy for you! Do you mind telling me your age? I think it's on here somewhere, but way far back. I'm needing some encouragement for my next cycle.

@orangemomma , sorry to hear that it's not working out for chances. So disappointing and frustrating that must be!

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#850 of 901 Old 04-12-2015, 07:22 AM
 
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@nexxus, that is really great news! I am so happy for you! Do you mind telling me your age? I think it's on here somewhere, but way far back. I'm needing some encouragement for my next cycle.

@orangemomma, sorry to hear that it's not working out for chances. So disappointing and frustrating that must be!
Hi Tenzinsmama, I got pregnant when I was just over 44.5 and I will be close to 45.5 when the baby is born. I had my first ever miscarriage at age 43.5 at 7 weeks and another miscarriage at 7 weeks at age 44. Here's the good news. We got preg on our second try with this pregnancy and we only had sex two times, days 8 and 10! (I oved on day 11 or 12) and so far this baby doing well. I am now 11 weeks. Best of luck to you!

I used ubiquinol 400 mg., mitochondrial basics with PPQ and micronized DHEA in the beginning of this pregnancy. I stopped DHEA when I found out I was pregnant. Continued the PPQ until week 5 and I am using 400 mg. ubiquinol all the way till 12 weeks based on reading I did. But I think the #1 things that helped me was the organic kale green smoothie and oranges I drink every morning, the flax oil, organic tofu and organic romaine I ate every day pretty strictly, and organic brocolli. And I took megafood zinc and selenium, vit E, vit d3. I drink spirulina, wheat grass, and Vita-Mineral Green water all day long. My betacarotene (Vit. A) levels were very high and this prevents molar pregnancy, makes good eggs. Also the acupuncture for one year and still ongoing I believe was critical because it altered things in my chemistry that I could/can feel. Also I run and bike on hills (with my four year old on the back of my recumbent!) LOL. Oh and I had been taking methylated B vitamins to keep my hormone levels high and extend luteal phase. Who know if that did anything or it's just fated to work at only the right time or maybe both.

Since days after I got pregnant I've been so nauseous that my healthy diet is gone out the window and I'm eating vegan junk food like cereal, brown rice, vegan fish sticks, and stuff and still eating fruits and veggies but it's all over the place but I could not keep eating my super healthy diet. I know that it's what you eat before you get pregnant that is critical so what I eat now not so important. When I hit week 14 (hopefully!) I should be able to eat more healthy again.

and this info is what kept me from worrying to insanity: I know a girl who got pregnant at age 48 by accident and just had a healthy little girl after having babies at age 44 and age 40. She is vegan like me, and she wasn't doing anything special other than taking folic acid. She had only one miscarriage between baby one and baby two. I went over the top with the stuff I did because I don't like to leave it just to chance.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
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"Shall we end this bleeding?” -- Lincoln

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#851 of 901 Old 04-12-2015, 04:04 PM
 
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nexxus - thanks for sharing about your partner and what has been helpful for him. My partner is obese as well with high bp, diabetes, degenerative disc disease of his lower back. He was coping pretty well for awhile with his medical stuff but then he got depressed - it's the antidepressant that is counteracting the viagra. I hope he will talk with his doctor soon about switching out that med for one with less sexual side effects.

I feel like there are several things that he could do to improve blood flow to "that area" - including acupuncture or even some sort of exercises. But alas, he does not heed my suggestions - sigh


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#852 of 901 Old 04-12-2015, 10:42 PM
 
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Chiming in about partner frustration. We just started trying, dh decided he was ready a few weeks ago, and we didn't use any protection...he wasn't aware that I wasn't fertile at the time...he was all proud and I had to let him know that I was about to get my period, so there was no chance that he got me pregnant that time. That was a few weeks ago. Since then, he has been pulling out, and I'm finally in my fertil window and we haven't had sex. What the heck?

He has been stressed, so that may be it...I know he doesn't want to feel "pressured". I casually let him know today that I'm fertile, so we'll see what happens.

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#853 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 05:58 AM
 
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nexxus - thanks for sharing about your partner and what has been helpful for him. My partner is obese as well with high bp, diabetes, degenerative disc disease of his lower back. He was coping pretty well for awhile with his medical stuff but then he got depressed - it's the antidepressant that is counteracting the viagra. I hope he will talk with his doctor soon about switching out that med for one with less sexual side effects.

I feel like there are several things that he could do to improve blood flow to "that area" - including acupuncture or even some sort of exercises. But alas, he does not heed my suggestions - sigh
Hi orangemomma, wow he has a lot of medical conditions. My partner also has a permanent back injury from skiing. Can you get him to go jogging or biking with you? When guys exercise it really increases their sexual capabilities and desire because testosterone goes up. I remind him every day he is home he has to go running or biking every day he is home (he works nationwide). It has to be minimal 25 minutes for positive effects. You can literally see sexual desire and interest go up the next day. The antidepressant is what's really a problem IMO, it causes ED from what I read. Exercise gets rid of depression. Maybe you can get him off the depression med and into exercise.

Oh as far as diabetes, it seems to be reversible with diet. There Is A Cure for Diabetes: The Tree of Life 21-Day+ Program
http://www.treehugger.com/culture/dr...kes-sense.html
He also talks about depression.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
no vaccines, no circumcision, baby born in birth center.
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#854 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 06:09 AM
 
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Chiming in about partner frustration. We just started trying, dh decided he was ready a few weeks ago, and we didn't use any protection...he wasn't aware that I wasn't fertile at the time...he was all proud and I had to let him know that I was about to get my period, so there was no chance that he got me pregnant that time. That was a few weeks ago. Since then, he has been pulling out, and I'm finally in my fertil window and we haven't had sex. What the heck?

He has been stressed, so that may be it...I know he doesn't want to feel "pressured". I casually let him know today that I'm fertile, so we'll see what happens.
Hi Grisandole. You could remind him that in your 40's you are out of time! No pulling out! I just flat out tell him we are having sex right now. I've never known a guy not to go for sex anytime on demand LOL. Maybe just try being straight forward, I had to become like that because I'm not messing around with missed cycles.

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#855 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 10:52 AM
 
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well i got my fsh today...12.3

i am 45 and 46 in summer

mom to ds '07 first day of a new year, dd '09 in the caul, and  ds '11 at home Oct 24th
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#856 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 02:35 PM
 
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well i got my fsh today...12.3

i am 45 and 46 in summer
Hi saoirse, the lady who wrote "Inconceivable" had an FSH of 22 when her 2nd baby was conceived. I think she was age 44.

I got my test results back from Maternity 21. Baby boy! Genetically normal! I'm 11 weeks 3 days today.

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#857 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 03:23 PM
 
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Oh wow that is amazing news! But how did they figure out it was a boy so early?

I have been googling and reading that fish does not mean as much as my age. That if I did get pg...most likely not viable.
Hubby is turning 40 next month...younger man, but maybe I need to find an even younger one :P

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#858 of 901 Old 04-13-2015, 05:49 PM
 
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Oh wow that is amazing news! But how did they figure out it was a boy so early?

I have been googling and reading that fish does not mean as much as my age. That if I did get pg...most likely not viable.
Hubby is turning 40 next month...younger man, but maybe I need to find an even younger one :P
I did the new genetic test that you can do at 10 weeks called Maternity 21, they can tell you gender and genetic info based on the circulating fetal cells. I think his younger sperm will help you get pregnant. Your FSH is pretty good for almost 46. You can bring it down too because the lady who wrote Inconceivable started out with an FSH of 80 or something and brought it down to 22. I'll bet it's possible all the way to age 50 because my mom and my friend were both pregnant at age 48. My dad was 4 years older than my mom and my friend's husband was age 44. It's just more guaranteed up to age 45 IMO.

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#859 of 901 Old 04-16-2015, 09:53 PM
 
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I did the new genetic test that you can do at 10 weeks called Maternity 21, they can tell you gender and genetic info based on the circulating fetal cells. I think his younger sperm will help you get pregnant. Your FSH is pretty good for almost 46. You can bring it down too because the lady who wrote Inconceivable started out with an FSH of 80 or something and brought it down to 22. I'll bet it's possible all the way to age 50 because my mom and my friend were both pregnant at age 48. My dad was 4 years older than my mom and my friend's husband was age 44. It's just more guaranteed up to age 45 IMO.
So I talked to dh and he gets it now, in regard to having to actually plan sex a bit and no "alternative" ways of finishing when I'm fertile Due to busy schedules, we pretty much skipped this month, aside from today, which is not likely (CD 17, pretty sure I ovulated two days ago). So, progress!!

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#860 of 901 Old 04-17-2015, 06:36 AM
 
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So I talked to dh and he gets it now, in regard to having to actually plan sex a bit and no "alternative" ways of finishing when I'm fertile Due to busy schedules, we pretty much skipped this month, aside from today, which is not likely (CD 17, pretty sure I ovulated two days ago). So, progress!!
Cool, good luck! I would tell him in the morning that we need to have sex that day and it was no problem. As soon as I got slippery fluid, we would start and continue every other day until it stops. I think every other day is easier for guy in his 40's. When fertile fluid drys up you have all ready ovulated.

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@nexxus , thanks for sharing all that helpful info! I'm taking Ubiquinol CoQ10 600 mg, Omega 3, Vitamin D, and a prenatal. I haven't altered my diet, although I am trying to cut down on sugar and caffeine. I want to cut out my one cup of coffee, but I'm trying to finish schoolwork (one more paper to go) and I need that extra bit of energy. If there is something that would give me that w/o the caffeine, let me know. It's always good to hear your good news stories-- and of course, your own-- it's fabulous to hear all is well! YAY!


@grisandole , that's good that you and DH talked about things and he is going to be more motivated to do what needs to be done to take advantage of where you are at in your cycle.

@Saor ise, many years ago, my fsh was where yours is at, and then it went below 10, and stayed there while I conceive my littles. I have no idea where it is at now. I think I read somewhere that it can even change from month to month?

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#862 of 901 Old 04-21-2015, 10:55 AM
 
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@nexxus , thanks for sharing all that helpful info! I'm taking Ubiquinol CoQ10 600 mg, Omega 3, Vitamin D, and a prenatal. I haven't altered my diet, although I am trying to cut down on sugar and caffeine. I want to cut out my one cup of coffee, but I'm trying to finish schoolwork (one more paper to go) and I need that extra bit of energy. If there is something that would give me that w/o the caffeine, let me know. It's always good to hear your good news stories-- and of course, your own-- it's fabulous to hear all is well! YAY!


@grisandole , that's good that you and DH talked about things and he is going to be more motivated to do what needs to be done to take advantage of where you are at in your cycle.

@Saor ise, many years ago, my fsh was where yours is at, and then it went below 10, and stayed there while I conceive my littles. I have no idea where it is at now. I think I read somewhere that it can even change from month to month?
you're welcome tenzinsmama. You've had a lot of babies near to or over 40 so you should have good chances. I was a dummy who waited too long to try for #2 and I was still nursing when I tried the first time which threw my hormones into a major conflict. I was having serious problems being pregnant and nursing. But I heard others did it and thought I could too. I don't know of any stimulants besides ginger which is mild. I was drinking ginger kombucha which gives you more of wine kind of high/relaxation.

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#863 of 901 Old 04-21-2015, 04:00 PM
 
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i had my kids at 37, 3 weeks before 40 and 42. breastfeeding through each pg
i am still bf the last one 3.5 yrs
i will be 46 in a few mos
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#864 of 901 Old 04-22-2015, 02:05 PM
 
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I found out I was pregnant with my first on my 40th birthday, then had my second at 42, and had my third just one month shy of turning 44. I will be 46 in December. I sure don't feel like I'm this age... I just hope for one more good egg... just one...
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#865 of 901 Old 04-24-2015, 03:34 PM
 
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i totally should have tried harder right after my third at 42. i think 46 is more than a longshot

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#866 of 901 Old 04-25-2015, 02:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by saoirse2007 View Post
i totally should have tried harder right after my third at 42. i think 46 is more than a longshot
You guys are so lucky to have 3 babies. I would feel on top of the world if I had 3! If I could only go back in time...we didn't start trying until I was age 39 (after he fixed his blocked sperm tubes via surgery which took a year and a year wasted to find out he had zero sperm) and we have been together for 20 years! We waited to get financial freedom like idiots. This is what moms are for. Our moms should have given us some direction here, but now I realize moms really don't know much about this maybe because in their day they had kids young.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
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#867 of 901 Old 04-28-2015, 02:05 PM
 
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I convinced my partner to go off of his antidepressant - it was a disaster - I think perhaps because he didn't replace the medication with any other type of intervention - like exercise or accupuncture or talk therapy. He lasted a week and is now back on it - the same med that interferes with his ability to produce the "swimmers"

Anyways, I think we are done trying.

Who knows, I may be back.

Baby dust to all!


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#868 of 901 Old 04-29-2015, 01:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by orangemomma View Post
I convinced my partner to go off of his antidepressant - it was a disaster - I think perhaps because he didn't replace the medication with any other type of intervention - like exercise or accupuncture or talk therapy. He lasted a week and is now back on it - the same med that interferes with his ability to produce the "swimmers"

Anyways, I think we are done trying.

Who knows, I may be back.

Baby dust to all!
I'm so sorry orangemomma. I've found depression is very responsive to sunlight, exercise and good diet. Maybe he's been on the medication for too long to cold turkey go off it. I think it requires gradual reduction. You could always go the IUI route too (he just has to put sperm in a cup)...believe me if my partners junk didn't work I was going to get those sperm some how come hell or high water. He has all ready had his balls hacked into (very painful!) to fix his blocked sperm tubes (essentially a vas reversal even though he never had a vasectomy). LOL, and yes you can even use a sperm donor if he agrees!

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
no vaccines, no circumcision, baby born in birth center.
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#869 of 901 Old 04-30-2015, 04:40 PM
 
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Hey Saoirse, Tenzinsmama, Nexxus, and Orangemomma (and apologies to anyone I missed)!

I just popped in to say hello, too far behind to really get caught up… I've been really wrapped up in work and family stuff, and fertility-wise, we are on an immune odyssey. I went to the Alan E. Beer Center, got tested, and found out I have about a gezillion autoimmune issues that cause recurrent pregnancy loss (and we've lost more than 15 of 'em). Still in the trenches with that, and I'm now nearly 47. We will proceed with treatment anyway, since my two grandmothers had babies at 48 and 50, and my mother and all the other women in my family had late menopause (like 65!), so I know there is at least a possibility. But taking the next few months to get really healthy and try to improve egg quality before trying with immune support.

Nexxus, are you pregnant? CONGRATS!!! Woo hoo!

Orangemomma, my heart goes out to you. Because I was married to a man with serious clinical depression (the father of my daughter), and my daughter also has it, I just wanted to chime in. My experience is when the meds are needed, they are needed (I realize this may be different for everyone). I tried everything to keep my daughter off meds… sunshine and exercise, meditation, biofeedback, supplements, doing things that bring her joy, etc. and she was just chemically *depressed* until she started taking Lexapro. Now, I thank my lucky stars this medicine exists, it has saved her and brought my daughter back to me again. So that's where I'm coming from.

BUT, you don't need to suffer with sexual dysfunction! There are SSRIs that are known to have zero or few sexual side effects, such as Wellbutrin. Also, there are cocktails that are prescribed to attenuate the sexual side effects. My ex-husband tried everything until he found an SSRI that does not cause sexual dysfunction (for him, it was Wellbutrin). I would urge you not to give up on them if sexual dysfunction is your only concern! Talk to your husband's doctor and ask about SSRIs that will NOT cause sexual dysfunction, they do exist. And in the meantime, ((( hugs ))), mama!

Okay, off my soapbox… and back to work. Nice seeing all you ladies! Will try to pop in again in a bit. Take care, everyone. xxoo

treehugger.gif Mama to 1 lovely DD,  angel1.gif 1/12 @ 8 weeks (ectopic), angel1.gif 1/14 @ 7 weeks, many chemical pregnancies, TTC DH'S #1, my #2
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#870 of 901 Old 05-01-2015, 08:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LitMama View Post
Hey Saoirse, Tenzinsmama, Nexxus, and Orangemomma (and apologies to anyone I missed)!

I just popped in to say hello, too far behind to really get caught up… I've been really wrapped up in work and family stuff, and fertility-wise, we are on an immune odyssey. I went to the Alan E. Beer Center, got tested, and found out I have about a gezillion autoimmune issues that cause recurrent pregnancy loss (and we've lost more than 15 of 'em). Still in the trenches with that, and I'm now nearly 47. We will proceed with treatment anyway, since my two grandmothers had babies at 48 and 50, and my mother and all the other women in my family had late menopause (like 65!), so I know there is at least a possibility. But taking the next few months to get really healthy and try to improve egg quality before trying with immune support.

Nexxus, are you pregnant? CONGRATS!!! Woo hoo!

Orangemomma, my heart goes out to you. Because I was married to a man with serious clinical depression (the father of my daughter), and my daughter also has it, I just wanted to chime in. My experience is when the meds are needed, they are needed (I realize this may be different for everyone). I tried everything to keep my daughter off meds… sunshine and exercise, meditation, biofeedback, supplements, doing things that bring her joy, etc. and she was just chemically *depressed* until she started taking Lexapro. Now, I thank my lucky stars this medicine exists, it has saved her and brought my daughter back to me again. So that's where I'm coming from.

BUT, you don't need to suffer with sexual dysfunction! There are SSRIs that are known to have zero or few sexual side effects, such as Wellbutrin. Also, there are cocktails that are prescribed to attenuate the sexual side effects. My ex-husband tried everything until he found an SSRI that does not cause sexual dysfunction (for him, it was Wellbutrin). I would urge you not to give up on them if sexual dysfunction is your only concern! Talk to your husband's doctor and ask about SSRIs that will NOT cause sexual dysfunction, they do exist. And in the meantime, ((( hugs ))), mama!

Okay, off my soapbox… and back to work. Nice seeing all you ladies! Will try to pop in again in a bit. Take care, everyone. xxoo
Wow LitMama that is great that you finally have some answers! I just want to mention acupuncture for immune issues. Acupuncture seems to fix those intricate strange issues out in the immune system. Best of luck to you!

Oh, also be sure to check your partners sperm for dna fragmentation.

Yes, I will be 14 weeks tomorrow, but I won't feel fully confident until this baby boy is born.

vegan with a son, 4. also mom to rescue furry babies esp. my little girl Babe Doll.
no vaccines, no circumcision, baby born in birth center.
"Shall we end this bleeding?” -- Lincoln
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