Nexxus, how are you doing? I think you are the only active one here on the thread that is pregnant at the moment...? Hope all is going well.
AF just came on Friday, and I'm trying not to be in a foul mood over it. We did an HMG IUI cycle and it clearly did not work... not sure why. I just keep asking 'why'. I mean, we had 4 follicles in the running the day of the IUI, my lining looked perfect, estrogen was measuring good and I was on progesterone supplements as per the protocol-- and nothing. I don't know if it's poor quality eggs (at age 45, the docs were so surprised at what I was producing in terms of numbers, but, the quality can't be assessed, so...) or if I have some scarring from the D&C they did in December...but I heard scarring is quite rare, and I had a really experienced doc who was aware of my fertility concerns so he said he would be extra careful. My husband says it's because I'm 45.5 and he's 43 and we are just 'old'... gawd, I wish he knew just how much that hurts to hear that). So this was three HMG IUI's since October... it just makes my heart hurt so much, knowing that the first one worked in that I at least got pregnant, even though it wasn't viable... and then nothing. This third attempt is the last one with treatments, so now I guess we are back to trying naturally... but what are my chances with that... I couldn't conceive with 4, now I'm going to be back to hoping I have a chance with 1. Still getting regular cycles, just like clockwork... although I do notice them getting a bit shorter which my RE says is normal as we age-- it's the body's way of getting 'one more kick at the can' before it's too late. Well, i guess it means that we try to have fun during sex and take the pressure off of.
But seriously... I really feel like my family is incomplete, and I so wanted one more... I just need to make peace with things, right? What do I do with the yearnings? I never did think that the last time I nursed my youngest, that it would be the last time I would ever hold a baby to my breast... so I never recognized the occasion when she weaned, I never said 'good-bye'. I realize I never honored the ''lasts', in the same way that I did the 'firsts', you know? I always thought I would be able to experience those special things again...
Me & DH ; DS (Aug 2010) ; DD1 (May 2012) ; DD2 (Nov 2013)