Yes I am obsessive and wordy, sorry
I am conflicted about using wild yam just now. Had thought I should wait until I mc? You iw, to assist with next round? Then I thought maybe I need it asap to save the pg? I can not find enough information out there to make an informed decision.
I was certain that I had to have conceived on October 20, because my last af started October 5 or 6. Pretty sure it was the 5th. Also the 19th is the only day I noticed ewcm. Dh reminds me that we dtd the 20, 21 & 22. Several times. So if I'm wrong and I didn't conceive until the 22/23, that would change things a bit.
My whole adult life I have conceived exactly 14 days after af begins. But I have also always had 28 day cycles, always. I remember last cycle af was 2 or 3 days early. And I it was only the fourth I've had since I gave birth over two years ago, plus I wasn't having sex at all ever, so I wasn't paying super close attention. Which would mean that my cycles are off. Perimenopause I guess?
I am ridiculous and started testing on October 24. So before Halloween I considered myself out. I've always gotten extremely dark bfps very early on. But this time I thought I got what was a very faint one, at what I thought was 14/15 dpo. Maybe I am just insane and my body is just not working like clockwork like it once did? I vaguely remember that with ds2 I missed af, think I got a bfn, went about my way and a week later realized I hadn't seen af and retested, getting a blaring bfp. Maybe memory is foggy.
So I thought my tests were too light and my beta was too low, but if my numbers were even a couple days off and if I implanted later than usual, then I guess maybe there's a possibility...
And it's 2:30am and I can't sleep at all...
So I think these thoughts, yes, I am 100% obsessing, and then I think, nah, I'm just trying to talk myself into something that isn't possible. Am I grasping at straws?
Omg the mind games we go through after a loss, or several...
On the upside, I am beginning to feel somewhat physically better- sinus feels cleared and cough is maybe subsiding?
Guess I should go for the second beta after all. Probably will crack and buy some more Walmart cheapies to see if the lines are darker or lighter while I wait for those numbers. Let's face it, I'm going to obsess either way. That second beta would probably be helpful though.
So the wild yam, yay or nay?
If I do mc, I will get some for sure.
Living in the land of limbo sucks.
him-- ds 3/91, me -- ds 5/93
us - dd 2/00, ds 8/02, ds 5/07, dd 2/11 & dd 8/14