Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC! - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
04:42 AM Liked: 59
#181 of 828
09-20-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
Oh mama! I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs. Having just gone through a long drawn out version of the same thing, I can certainly feel your pain. I too have five kids. Mine are 20- 2. That doesn't make the desire for another any less.
I hope you find peace soon.
Nothing I can say will help I know. Just know that you are not alone. I guess it would seem most of our BFPs here have ended this way over the last few weeks. Very sad.
Hugs and more hugs.
MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
08:41 AM Liked: 60
#182 of 828
09-28-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Oh, Chichimama, I am so, so very sorry.  I only just saw your post.  I wish there was something I could say that would be helpful, but I know there really isn't.  Hug your children.  Cry with your husband.  I hope you find peace. Hugs and sympathy.

MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
03:54 PM Liked: 60
#183 of 828
09-28-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Hello ladies.  First of all, I apologize in advance for always being the queen of TMI on this thread, but here I go again.  After a very long luteal phase last month (15 days -- the longest I've had), I started AF and thought that oh well, that cycle was over but this was a new one.  I even did FSH testing on day 3.  But now I am on day 12 and still bleeding.  After 5 days it did start to lighten up a little and I thought it was done, but then it started getting heavier again.  This a.m. my pajamas and sheets looked like a crime scene in spite of the fact that I was wearing both a tampon and a pad (and there's the tmi I warned you about).  So I googled this and discovered a, like most of my "symptoms" lately, it could be caused by peri-menopause.  Great.  So I had a good, long cry about that and about thinking how I may have missed my chance to have another baby. 


Then my DS (3 1/2) called me back into the bedroom and into bed and as we lay there he explained to me how we were caterpillers in a cocoon or a chrysalis and soon we would be butterflies.  A few minutes later we threw off the blankets, got out of bed, flapped our arms, and flew around the house, before getting back into bed and back into the cocoon.  We metamorphosed several times before finally getting out of bed for good. That did cheer me up a little.  When I was ttc him I would read other women trying to have a second child and think, "at least you have one."  I don't forget that now.  I am incredibly grateful to have this one, beautiful, creative, sweet, loving little boy in my life. But oh how I would love to give him a younger sibling.  He would be an amazing big brother.  And his father and I so want one more baby. But I'm really afraid we may have missed our chance.  And on a less sad but more practical note, this non-stop bleeding is also just really annoying.  Enough already.  So, I guess I have two questions.  Have any of you had (or known anyone who had) menorrhagia and then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy?  And anyone know any treatments for this.  I'd like to be done now, please. 


It is possible this is in part due to some changes in the supplements I have been taking.  I had run out of the vitex capsules and switched to the tincture.   And I'd be taking tincture of maca, too, because I don't always have time to make a smoothie with the powder in the a.m., but I'm in the process of switching back to capsules and powder.  any other ideas are welcome.



LitMama's Avatar LitMama
02:14 PM Liked: 22
#184 of 828
10-03-2013 | Posts: 457
Joined: Sep 2009

MamadeRumi! Your story about you and your son made my day! Beautiful. And I'm right there with you in gratitude for my one child and in so deeply wanting another for all of those same reasons. I'm on the crazy train right now at work so can't post a proper reply but wanted to pass on something my acupuncturist told me (she is an Ob/Gyn as well as a TCM doctor). She actually advised me to steer clear of Vitex because it can cause excessively heavy bleeding in some women. I think the tincture is stronger than the capsules, too. I decided to try Vitex anyway and I love it because it helps me ovulate on day 14 exactly, yet it doesn't cause heavy bleeding for me. But it could be doing that for you! Just something to think about. I know our minds always go to the dark places, but sometimes there's a simple explanation and solution. ((( hugs )))

MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
08:55 AM Liked: 60
#185 of 828
10-04-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Thanks Litmama.  As it turns out, the day after I switched back over to the vitex capsules, the bleeding started to less!en.  Two days later it had stopped. It could be coincidence, or just that I was OUT of blood (I was starting to wonder exactly how long it was possible for a person to bleed for), but I suspect it was the vitex. 


Here's my vitex experience so far. Before taking it I had started to have really ridiculously long, sometimes annovulatory cycles (44 days, 53 days).  I started vitex and maca, and I went through one really long, drawn out period as I think my body adjusted, but then my cycles became shorter, more regular, and ovulatory.  Yay!  But the bottle of vitex capsules said to take 2 or 3 a day for 8 to 12 weeks and then to take one/day. So, after 12 weeks of taking 3/day I cut back to one a day. I immediately started to notice some differences: a tiny bit of spotting pre-ovulation, but really pre, so I don't think it was related to ovulation, and less EWCM, among other things.  So, I talked to my endocrinologist (I have hypothyroidism), and mentioned that I was thinking of going back to the higher dose of vitex.  She said, why not?  So I did, but I was running low on vitex capsules, and I had a couple of bottles of tincture sitting around (clearance vitamin and supplement sale), and I thought I'd substitute that.  At the same time the semester had started again and it was harder to find the time to mix maca into a smoothie, so I started sometimes taking the tincture of that.  With both, however, it was tough to find an equivalent dose.  The tincture bottles tell you how many drops to take, but they don't say "equivalent to X grams of powder."  Then I had this two week long, really heavy AF, that finally ended when I switched back to vitex capsules and maca powder.  So, whew.  I don't think I want to stop the vitex, or even cut down on it, as doing so seemed to negatively effect my fertility, but I think I'm going to stay away from those tinctures.  That may have just been too much for my body to handle.  Thank you, for putting this in perspective for me.  Funny, when I was starting vitex and maca months ago and I had that long AF, I had no trouble attributing it to maca and vitex and my body getting used to it. But this time I was really thinking it was a sign that I was out of time and at best vitex and maca could help me end the bleeding.  I hadn't given too much thought that the switch in dosage could have caused the bleeding.  

Hezzy's Avatar Hezzy
01:14 AM Liked: 0
#186 of 828
10-14-2013 | Posts: 554
Joined: Jan 2006
Hi ladies. I would love to join in here. I've been lurking for a while. I am just 40. I have a DS who is nearly 6. I've been wanting another for ages, but marital difficulties and other life circumstances have delayed things. We seem back on track, and while DH is not exactly gung-ho about another DC, he is not saying absolutely no, so I consider myself TTC. ;-)

I am trying to be sane about this process. DS took 15 months to conceive, and finally happened after a surgery to remove uterine polyps. I haven't started charting, although I keep saying I'm going to. I take vitex and B6 when I remember to - my cycle is a lot shorter than it was before DS. The main challenge is trying to find time and energy to BD. DH is a grad student and extremely stressed right now. So I need to start charting so I can pick my moments. ;-)

Anyway, I wanted to say hi. Maybe being officially on here will inspire me to start temping!
MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
10:11 AM Liked: 60
#187 of 828
10-14-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Hi Hezzy, welcome.  Just an additional encouragement to start temping . . . I really wish I'd gone back to it sooner.  I did it for the nearly 2 years it took me to conceive my son, and then once I was pregnant with him I stopped.  Then I didn't go back to it because for 15 months I had no AF, and then after that it was just so much more complicated than it had been pre DS.  As a working mom of a young child, I wasn't always getting 3 or 4 consecutive hours of sleep.  I wasn't always waking at the same time. I was cosleeping with a young son and a sleep deprived husband, so it wasn't always easy to keep my thermometer by the bed.  DS could grab it.  Some nights, in order to allow somebody to get some sleep, DS and I would end up moving to another bed, and I might forget to take the thermometer with me. We also bought a house and moved, so that made things crazy.  And I was in a really stressful period at work, which added to the irregular sleep patterns and all.  So I wasn't temping.  But I really regret that now.  About the time that my work situation calmed down and we thought we could really start trying and I started temping again, my cycles suddenly started getting less regular. Great.  Perfect timing.  Anyway, none of this is meant to alarm you, just to give you an added nudge to stathrt temping sooner rather than later.  I'm four plus years older than you, and I really wonder, had I been seriously trying and temping a couple years ago if this wouldn't have been easier. 


Good luck.

Hezzy's Avatar Hezzy
11:49 PM Liked: 0
#188 of 828
10-27-2013 | Posts: 554
Joined: Jan 2006

Thanks MamadeRumi. I have started charting. I don't think we timed BD very well this month (the day after O, I'm afraid), but it's been nice to see my chart looks normal and to have a clear sense when I ovulate.


I'm debating whether to take a pregnancy vitamin. I have some on hand - a little old, but I think they're probably fine. I know I should be taking folic acid, but I have to admit I'm not very regular about it. I took a vitamin the whole time we were TTC last time, but I'm just trying not to get consumed by the whole thing in case it doesn't work. Yet I keep coming back here hoping someone has posted something. :-)  I'd love to hear what others are doing about vitamins.

MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
03:15 PM Liked: 60
#189 of 828
10-28-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Well, I am currently taking a small mountain of vitamins and supplements. But I should admit that things are not going well, and last night when my husband asked me what vitamins I wanted (I take different ones at different times of the month), I said, "how about we just skip the vitamins, you pour me a stiff drink, and tomorrow I have a strong cup or two of coffee?  Since what I'm doing isn't working, maybe I should try doing all the wrong things."  I ended up taking the vitamins and not having the drink or the coffee, but that was how I was feeling.  This "cycle" (not sure if it counts as a cycle since it doesn't seem to be going anywhere) I have gone from having the two week long AF from hell, to wondering, "am I ever going to ovulate? or is my body just going to keep psyching me out, acting like ovulation is imminent and then not doing it?"


So, I'm not sure if I'm an example to follow right now.  But, I take a prenatal vitamin daily.  I take Vitex (3 capsules/day) and Maca (1 tsp powder per day).  I take L-Carnatine in the a.m. and COQ10 morning, noon, and evening (a total of 600 mg).  Prior to ovulation (which currently seems to be all the stinking time) I take Evening Primrose Oil and milkthistle.  After ovulation I take fish oil and drop the milkthistle (it's apparently not good to take during pregnancy).  And I take thyroid hormones because I have hypothyroidism.  And then I take a barrage of other vitimins that aren't specifically pregnancy or fertility oriented, but just to keep me healthy: A, B, C, D, E, and Resveratrol.   I think that's it, but I can't swear I haven't skipped something.


That's what I'm doing. I'm also interested in finding out what other people are taking.  who knows, maybe there is one more pill I could pop.


p.s., sorry if I sound incredibly grumpy.  I didn't mean the post to sound that way, but my son is sick, we didn't sleep well last night, it has been a really rough day at work, I just locked myself out of my office, and I still haven't ovulated (day 42 of this cycle).  So, I guess I am pretty grumpy.  But I didn't mean to inflict that on all of you.

mamasee's Avatar mamasee
08:49 PM Liked: 14
#190 of 828
10-28-2013 | Posts: 254
Joined: Nov 2007

I sure can understand that "stiff drink and coffee" idea!  Every time I get AF (BTW, can someone tell me where I can learn what all these TTC acronyms stand for ?) I seem to fall into wanting to do "all the wrong things since the right things aren't working" so I'm right there with you.  Luckily it only lasts one or two days at most, for me, before I feel hopeful again and willing to continue to believe in my dream.

I have taken a number of different supplements over the last two years.  Primarily due to cost I haven't continued with all of them.  Some of them are:  Royal Jelly, Evening Primrose Oil, Borage Oil, Fish Oil, Prenatal, Chinese Herbs to boost Yin, Vitex, Maca, CoQ10, and Folate (recently learned that if you can find folate it's better than folic acid - better absorbed).  I also make a tea with some or all of these:  decaf green tea, red clover, oatstraw, alfafa, nettle, mint, raspberry, dandelion root, lemon, honey.   I usually take a regular multi vitamin during the first week or so of my cycle then switch to prenatal after O just to save a bit on cost.  I did have a blighted ovum pregnancy last year, so I still feel hopeful since at least conception happened.  I'm going to keep trying until I'm 50 just because I know pregnancy is possible and I figure if I keep healthy and keep my intake of folate up then I'm doing the best I can to have a healthy pregnancy.  

:goodvibesGood wishes to everyone on this journey!

Oh, and I also really enjoyed the books by Julia Indochinova - inspiring and encouraging.  Anyone else have any helpful / inspiring book suggestions?

innacircle's Avatar innacircle
12:25 PM Liked: 1260
#191 of 828
10-30-2013 | Posts: 975
Joined: Oct 2013

Hi - I'm definitely late to the game for this post being in the "new year" but better late than never!


I just turned 40 (DH is 37) and TTC #1.  We've been married for 15 years so there's been plenty of time, but no push.  So here we are now trying to squeak through to parenthood before the door closes!  I'm fit, no medical problems, and am not taking any medications other than a prenatal vitamin.  I've been using the CBFM and have just started with the Ovacue since I'm not sure the CBFM is really picking up my O time. 


I had a mc at 8 wks in May (total surprise pregnancy) after coming off BC a few months earlier.  I was an ICU nurse that had planned to go on to be a nurse anesthetist (CRNA) - got accepted to CRNA school then got my surprise pregnancy.  Since CRNA school takes about 70-80 hrs per week of clinical, class and study, I dropped out of the program due to the baby on the way (you have to commit to CRNA school a year in advance, and I was due to start in August).  Then two weeks after I dropped it, I had the mc.  My husband has serious baby fever so we decided to focus on family (instead of school), so now I'm a housewife - in waiting - for the last 4 cycles TTC. 


Am going to make an appt with my MD in November to see if there is anything I should get tested.  Although I have a good bit of medical knowledge, this is def not my area of expertise and I'd hate to miss out on something bc I didn't talk to a professional!  Hopefully I can just jump right in here with all of you who have been posting a while -I look forward to following everyone's stories!

LitMama's Avatar LitMama
03:43 PM Liked: 22
#192 of 828
10-30-2013 | Posts: 457
Joined: Sep 2009

Hi All,


OMgoddess, you are all so good! Wanting that stiff drink and those cups of coffee and then NOT having them? I wish I was still in that place! But in the last few months of work insanity, plus a failed IVF and a 5-weeks miscarriage last month, I have devolved to the point of not just wanting the wine and the coffee, but actually drinking it! :eyesroll 


But you know... there is no evidence that moderate drinking impacts fertility (unless you're following a TCM protocol), and the latest evidence on caffeine is that a little black tea helps, and a little coffee is neutral (doesn't hurt, doesn't help). My friend who got pregnant at 45 and gave birth at 46 laughed at my puritanical TCM dietary regime... over lunch -- she was eating a grilled cheese (on gluten-y wheat bread) and drinking a caffeinated cold iced tea. Still, even with this knowledge in hand, I suffer the pangs of guilt and remorse every time I imbibe (I feel like Randine Lewis and Julia Indichova somehow know and are wagging their fingers at me). 


Thank you for sharing your supplement lists (I still believe in those)! Here's mine:

USANA Essentials (prenatal) 
USANA Pro-Flavanol (antioxidants) 
Vitamin D (4,000 iu) 
Ubiquinol (400 mg) 
Mitochondrial Energy Optimizer with BioPQQ (for egg quality)

Extra BioPQQ (for egg quality)
Rhodiola (for stress and fertility) 
Vitex (to lower FSH and support progesterone production) 
Custom-blended Chinese herbs

Fish oil (4 grams) 
Chlorophyll capsules (2 per day) 
Renew Life Ultimate Flora Probiotics with B-Infantis (1 per day) 
NAC (can't recall dosage) 
Maxiflavone (2 per day for immune issues) 

Shatavari (for immune issues)

Fo Ti (for anti-aging and fertility)

Baby aspirin (for immune issues)

Pepcid and claritin (after ovulation, for immune issues)


And welcome, Innacircle! I'm so sorry about your loss ((( hugs ))). You certainly have time on your side (40 is still pretty young) and with no paid work at the moment, you have a golden opportunity to be relaxed and open to new life. What a gift. You asked what recommendations others would have for testing. I'm of two minds about that. I started TTC when I was 42, and am 45 now with no baby yet, so I have hindsight going for me. Here are the two paths I wish I had taken:


When I was 42, we went straight to an RE and had lots of tests run (FSH, AMH, estrogen, progesterone, etc.) and although my test results were very good (still are), the RE scared the bejeezus out of me and it was just a horribly draining and depressing experience being thrust into that culture. When we gave up on that and went to a renowned acupuncturist specializing in fertility (at age 43) I was pregnant within 3 months. Unfortunately, it was ectopic, so we never got to hold that babe. But, the culture within that framework was completely different... no doom and gloom... only support and belief in my body's natural abilities to bring life. I WISH WISH WISH we had skipped the RE and the testing and just believed in our ability to do this, and maybe gone straight to TCM. Or just tried naturally.


On the other hand... it turns out I have immune system issues that were (and are) causing me to miscarry every uterine pregnancy we create (I can carry ectopics because the immune system doesn't patrol the fallopian tubes). And so I WISH WISH WISH I had known about that when I was 42 and presumably more fertile than I am now at 45. I do kind of feel like we wasted those early years trying and knocking our heads against a brick wall with miscarriage after miscarriage, not knowing why it was happening, assuming it was just age. (And at the same time, of course, I do feel this journey has meaning, and I'm sure there's a reason we didn't see our dreams realized at that moment).


So, I guess my advice about testing would be to:


1) Find an OB/Gyn (NOT an RE) who believes in you and your fertile body and makes you feel GOOD and have her run the following tests for you: FSH, AMH, estrogen, progesterone, LH, prolactin, TSH. The TSH (your thyroid) is very important... thyroid disease is very common and can be a hidden and easily-fixed cause of sub fertility.


2) If you can afford it... also have a naturopath run tests for mineral deficiencies and food allergies and sensitivities. That way, when your TCM doctor tells you to to give up gluten and dairy, you'll know whether you're actually sensitive to them or not and you can make an informed decision. And you'll know what vitamins to take.


3) If you can afford it... have your sympathetic OB/Gyn run whatever basic immunology panel she can run for you, so you can get a sense of whether you have immune system issues or not. If you have hives or any auto-immune diseases (asthma, arthritis, colitis, eczema, etc.), get a referral to an endocrinologist or immunologist or rheumatologist and get the full immune panel run. That needs to include an NK cell assay and a TH1/TH2 assay. Those are types of white blood cells that can go hay wire and attack embryos.


If I had known then what I know now... I would have gotten the immune panels run and gotten immune treatment WHILE seeing a TCM doctor (NOT an RE). I feel like I'm just now getting to that point now, 3 years into the game. Just my two cents!


Blessings and baby dust (and decaf green tea lattes) to all...

innacircle's Avatar innacircle
03:58 PM Liked: 1260
#193 of 828
10-30-2013 | Posts: 975
Joined: Oct 2013
Originally Posted by LitMama View Post
... it turns out I have immune system issues that were (and are) causing me to miscarry every uterine pregnancy we create

LitMama - did you have any symptoms when this happened (like fever, etc)?  Is there an official name for that condition/occurrence?

Thank you for that list... what a fantastic jump start!  I will make notes and take it to my OB/GYN.  She's a great lady - 1st appointment with her was an hour long sit down in her private office, in chairs, before even heading toward the examination rooms.  She herself had her first child at 43 so I think she'll be great to work with. 

LitMama's Avatar LitMama
05:34 PM Liked: 22
#194 of 828
10-30-2013 | Posts: 457
Joined: Sep 2009
Innacircle, your doctor sounds like a dream come true! Wow. Glad that list helped get you started. But I feel a little conflicted about encouraging testing, because... a) it's not likely you have the issues I do, b) you don't need to know your FSH level to get pregnant! :-) and c) testing can be stressful and misleading (i.e., plenty of women with high FSH have babies).

I did not have any symptoms that I could pinpoint, but I decided to pursue testing after researching causes of recurrent miscarriage and learning that I had some red flags (for example, I have an autoimmune disease that developed after the birth of my daughter, and my one robust pregnancy since her birth was ectopic). There are a lot of individual conditions one can have that can contribute to "autoimmune infertility", but there's your catch-all name for it. What I have is elevated NK cells, a bad TH1/TH2 balance (both are basically inflammation), and a possible clotting disorder. If you're interested in learning more, I could PM you some links. One thing to be aware of is that most conventional Ob/Gyns think reproductive immunology is a lot of hooey! I don't know how your doctor would feel about it. It sounds like you're in good hands, though.

MamadeRumi, ((( hugs ))) to you! I'm sorry you're having a frustrating and mysterious cycle! Could it be the vitex?? I feel for you... this cycle I seem to have ovulated immediately after AF, like on cd7, and we totally missed the window. Plus my boobs still think they're pregnant after last month's m/c. I'm sad and frustrated about all of this, but at least with an early O, it will all be over quickly.

BTW, I actually love and revere Randine and Julia... I was just feeling snarky. eyesroll.gif

Please excuse formatting and any typos, dispatching this from my cellphone.
carmen358's Avatar carmen358
01:49 PM Liked: 84
#195 of 828
11-02-2013 | Posts: 3,214
Joined: Jul 2008

Just thought I'd come back here and update....not sure if anyone remembers me....I had a short, intense labour and birth on July 26 and my beautiful son was born! After 5 miscarriages I was on pins and needles for the whole pregnancy but everything was, and is, perfect. I turn 43 next month :) I'd love to have one more but we've decided 2 is perfect and we are so fortunate!

gumblossom's Avatar gumblossom (TS)
04:09 PM Liked: 24
#196 of 828
11-02-2013 | Posts: 463
Joined: Oct 2009

Congratulations Carmen. I am so pleased everything went well for you.

The fact you have a healthy baby after 5 miscarriages gives me hope.


I still read the thread from time to time but don't post very much as I am keeping a low profile. I've just had another AF and after years of ttc, and no BFP for 18 months, I am losing hope. I am not sure I will keep up the supplements and timing, charting etc, I am getting tired of it all.I will turn 47 next weekend, and although it is only a number, I know my dream is slipping further away. However, I am really enjoying my family life, especially my 5 year old son, whom I am savoring the moments with.


Litmama, I am so sorry about your loss after the IVF. I do hope you can have a THB soon.


Chichimama, I am sorry for your loss too. It is so hard ttc in our forties, but the reward must be so amazing when a helathy baby is born.

MamadeRumi's Avatar MamadeRumi
05:02 PM Liked: 60
#197 of 828
11-02-2013 | Posts: 91
Joined: Aug 2012

Carmen, congratulations!  What wonderful news.


Innacircle, let me second the idea of getting thyroid levels tested, even if you get nothing else done.  With my ds, we were ttc for nearly two years, starting when I was 38 and ending about 3 days before my 40th birthday when we conceived ds.  (Hurrah for birthday bding!)  About six months before that, I went to my ob/gyn -- well, actually, to her nurse practicioner, who was wonderful. (I later stopped seeing the OB/GYN -- we had very different ideas about the type of childbirth I wanted/could have, but her nurse practicioner was a dream).  She ran a bunch of bloodwork on me to check my hormone levels, and called in a bit of a panic about an hour later to say that my tsh was a little elevated and would I please call her back.  O.K., didn't know what tsh was, but I called back.  She said my Thyroid Stimulating Hormone was 44.  I didn't know what normal was for tsh, so I said, "o.k., 4's my favorite number, two 4s, has to be good, right? What's normal? "  Turns out normal is less than five, and if you are ttc, less than 1.5 is ideal.  Oops.  so much for my favorite number.  We started treating that, then had to wait for DH and I to be back in the same state, and then, voilah, a bfp.  BTW, I'd never been symptomatic of hypothyroidism, in spite of the super high numbers.


Litmama, I should note that I have been drinking tea recently.  I still skip the coffee (as much as I can bear to) because while everything I've read says that coffee is not a problem, my own experience in charting while ttc ds was that coffee did affect my luteal phase. So while I suspect if is fine for most ttc women, it seems to be a problem for me. Ironic considering how much I LOVE coffee.  I do still indulge in wine when I am at the pre-ovulation part of my cycle, but post ovulation I try not to, and currently I'm trying to lose a little weight, so, I'm cutting out wine for that reason.  I finally did O this cycle.  Hurrah.   I think the irregularity of this cycle might have had to do with first decreasing the vitex, then, when that seemed to be problematic, starting it back up but switching to the tincture (which is probably a higher dose).  I'm hoping now that I'm back on my old dose of vitex my cycle will level out again.  We'll see.  If not, I may look for a TCM around here.  I would like someone to offer some guidance instead of just proceeding by trial and error.  I'm out of time for error. 


Babydust to all!

mamasee's Avatar mamasee
11:45 AM Liked: 14
#198 of 828
11-03-2013 | Posts: 254
Joined: Nov 2007
Originally Posted by carmen358 View Post

Just thought I'd come back here and update....not sure if anyone remembers me....I had a short, intense labour and birth on July 26 and my beautiful son was born! After 5 miscarriages I was on pins and needles for the whole pregnancy but everything was, and is, perfect. I turn 43 next month :) I'd love to have one more but we've decided 2 is perfect and we are so fortunate!

Thank you for sharing!  Big congratulations to you and your family!

cricketschirpin's Avatar cricketschirpin
07:53 AM Liked: 508
#199 of 828
11-05-2013 | Posts: 1,007
Joined: May 2013

Hello ladies!

I'm new to this group of 40 somethings and excited to be here!

At 39, I got pregnant right after my DH (43)and I got married. We were over the moon!  I turned 40 on July 2nd and a couple days later upon sensing something was just not right, I saw the doctor and was told I had a blighted ovum.  It was my/our first pregnancy so it was of course devastating.

We decided that finally, this month we were ready to try again. I'm a little nervous and probably seeing things I want to see...

I'm not sure what to think. My chart changes depending on what FF setting I'm on and I took a Wondfo test strip this morning at what I think is 11 dpo and thought I saw a super faint line but had to tweak the picture to really see it on computer. 

Congratulations to all who have conceived and fingers crossed for all those trying!

If you would be willing to look I'll attach my chart and my picture.

Here's hoping its our month but if not we just keep the faith and keep trying!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
11:30 AM Liked: 59
#200 of 828
11-05-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
Hello ladies! Well I've been gone a short while living my life happily. I had a much needed surgery, drank many beers and sodas, lost my weight, and decided I was happy with five and feeling comfortable with my body and my life and didn't need another. I even went out and got a whole new wardrobe. Two miscarriages in one year was enough to convince me I was done.
I'm three days late now. Day I was due I got a sigh of relief BFN. Next day faint but obvious BFP. Today, 17 dpo, super duper faint BFP. Lighter than yesterday.
I have kept up my vitamins. Maybe I was just trying to convince myself I didn't want another to save myself the misery of another mc.
I have very little hope though. Usually 10dpo is glowing magenta. 17 dpo and squinter faint leaves me thinking possible chemical. Idk.
Admittely I would be thrilled. Symptoms wise, boobs are full and painful and I cry a lot. Lol! No congrats please. Too light of a line...
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
03:58 PM Liked: 59
#201 of 828
11-05-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
So as I mentioned BFN 14dpo. Faint BFP 15dpo. Two brands. Even more faint BFP 16dpo FMU. This evening I tried again, same brand but different test. BFN. Maybe you could sort of barely imagine a line, but not really.
Must have been chemical? Why is it so easy for me to get pregnant, but I can keep it for less and less time? I had comvinced myself I didn't want another one. But I guess I was just lying to myself. Now I'm just confused. I will test again in the morning. I am now three days late. I'm never late.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
04:05 PM Liked: 59
#202 of 828
11-05-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
My dates must be slightly off. Regardless, lines should be dark and getting darker. Lmp October 6, must have o'd around the 20th. That would have been the last time for bd and before that I think it'd been two weeks. So AF was due Sunday November 3rd. No AF and a BFN. Next day faint blue dye bfp. That evening faint FRER BFP. This morning faint FRER BFP. This evening I took a First Response but instead of 6 days sooner it's rapid result, 1 min instead of 3. BFN.
I'm confused and assuming it was a chemical.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
07:38 PM Liked: 59
#203 of 828
11-05-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
Just learned First Response Rapid Result isn't as sensitive as FRER. Went and got more of those and got another faint BFP. Last few pregnancies have been MUCH darker by now.
I really thought I was over it and here I am pining away. Lol! It's like I just know there's one left for me to meet, no matter how much I try to deny it.
If this ends badly though... I just don't know...
I'll do another FMU and report back.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
04:19 AM Liked: 59
#204 of 828
11-06-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010
FMU FRER BFN. Must have been a chemical. So I can easily get pregnant, but can obviously not make/carry a baby anymore. Feeling devestated. This sucks. I barely slept all night. What a joke. What a cruel joke. Why bother letting that strip turn pink at all. Ugh!
cricketschirpin's Avatar cricketschirpin
06:30 AM Liked: 508
#205 of 828
11-06-2013 | Posts: 1,007
Joined: May 2013

Caritasrainbow - I feel your frustration!

This is this mornings test tweaked a bit so you can see the worlds faintest second line, prob evap:


I have gotten several faints on Wondfo test strips for last couple days but they only appear after the 10 minute window so I shouldn't even count them. But here I am too holding out hope but telling myself at 12 dpo it  must be chemical because I'm all crampy like I'm getting period and shouldn't it be much darker by now?

The only other pregnancy I can compare it to though, is my last one in May when I got a faint by 8 &  9dpo and a beauty at 14 dpo. But that was a blighted ovum and so I'm trying to tell myself this is different because maybe the other implanted too quickly. Oh the rationalizing we do...

I refuse to lose hope until the old Flo rolls on in though..so I'm keeping fingers crossed for you too. 

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
11:26 AM Liked: 59
#206 of 828
11-06-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010

Brown cm this afternoon and another BFN.  Just waiting for AF now.  Maybe next month.  Taught me a lesson though.  I'd really thought I was fine with being done with it all.  I'm not  

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
02:51 PM Liked: 59
#207 of 828
11-07-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010

AF came on in full swing yesterday afternoon.  Very heavy and with some nasty cramps.  It was weird knowing I was pregnant for a couple of days.  Enough time to get excited, although I knew from the start something wasn't right with the faintness of the first test.  at 17dpo the test should have glowed.  So yeah, first mc was a huge surprise to me after having had 5 kids so easily.  Thought it was a fluke.  Second mc was heartbreaking once again, but still didn't think...  I don't know.  This one, and not even 5 weeks yet...  I am fertile, I can still easily get pregnant, but just can't seem to make those little beans grow anymore.  

Kinda pissed now because after the last mc, AF was reset to a Sunday giving me all weekend the weekend of o, for bd.  Now it's reset to a Wednesday.  My husband travels Monday through Friday.  Even when he is home, we are way too beat to even think about bd during the week.  So chances of another chance seem slim.  Younger me coulda kept those swimmers alive from Sunday to Wednesday, but I'm guessing these days I likely only have a few hours window.

At any rate, what I did learn was that I was lying to myself saying I was done trying.  

Shall see....

Hope to hear some wonderful news from one of you soon.  

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow
02:52 PM Liked: 59
#208 of 828
11-07-2013 | Posts: 232
Joined: Dec 2010

PS I never even told dh...

gumblossom's Avatar gumblossom (TS)
03:29 PM Liked: 24
#209 of 828
11-07-2013 | Posts: 463
Joined: Oct 2009

Caritasrainbow, I am so sorry. ((hugs)) I know what you are feeling. I too had 5 kids with no trouble conceiving. Even my last one, after DH had a vasectomy reversal, I did have to ttc for 7 months, but I now know that is nothing! And I was 41 at the time. Since then though I have had two missed miscarriages (baby died around 8-9 weeks), D&C's for each of them, felt so sad and desolate after the second one. Then I got another BFP, which was always faint, even at 15 DPO, and I lost that one too, only to have symptoms return a few days later, along with a clear BFP, which turned out to be the tail end of the miscarriage. I had a scan and although the doctor could see something in the uterus, it was just "remains", not a baby. So at around 6 and a half weeks I bled again.Like you, I hadn't told my DH, and I just quietly grieved and got on with life.


It is just such a difficult journey isn't it? I wonder if in some ways, though we are blessed with children, having fallen pregnant so easily in the past makes this ttc all the more difficult.


It is a long process - for me, anyway, I have gone from being desperate to get pregnant, to trying everything I possibly could (short of IVF and other ART), to pretending I am over it and not ttc anymore, to now where I am still trying, but coming to terms with the fact that it is highly unlikely I will have my precious last baby I felt would complete my family.


However, I do still feel open to a new baby, and I continue to BD when it is fertile time, as I am keeping the door open so that my spirit baby can come in if the time is right.


This month I am planning to do the antihistimine plan: taking claratine once a day and antacid (which is another type of antihistimine). I think it is called "Pepcid" in the US - it has famotidine in it - that's the key ingredient. It may help with implantation, if implantation failure is caused by rejection of the embryo (due to auto-immune issues. I have a raised ANA, which may be causing a problem, no one is sure). I think the protocol is used in clinics along with prednisone, but I don't want to take that. I feel it is worth a try and won't be harmful.


I will be turning 47 on Sunday. I wish I could celebrate my birthday, but each year, whilst I am still ttc, feels like a year further from having a baby. I know women my age do have babies, it isn't impossible, but it is probably in the realm of "miracle". But, hey, why shouldn't I get a miracle?

gumblossom's Avatar gumblossom (TS)
04:02 PM Liked: 24
#210 of 828
11-07-2013 | Posts: 463
Joined: Oct 2009

Thanks mumsafari. I bought it a couple of years ago, and sadly it didn't help me. It also didn't tell me anything new. Randine Lewis's book, The infertility Cure is a much better comprehensive guide.

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