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Trying To Conceive > Fabulous Forty Somethings TTC!
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 04:46 PM 11-07-2013
Gumblossom- yup, that pretty much puts us in the same place. ~sigh~

orangemomma's Avatar orangemomma 04:27 AM 11-08-2013

Caritasrainbow - sorry for your loss :-( 


For me, I don't really know where I am at with all of this on a mental level. I think that our chances would be better if we just BD'ed more, ya know? But with my partner's ED the opportunities don't happen all that frequently (this is with ED meds, without there are NO opportunities)

There was a slim chance this month but I have the most raging case of PMS - I am beyond belief irritable.  This has happened to me monthly since hitting my 40's - not really ever a problem in my 20's and 30's.  I will bleed soon. I just want AF to arrive already.

innacircle's Avatar innacircle 03:57 PM 11-08-2013

LitMama and MamadeRumi -   Again ladies, thank you so much for advice and sharing your stories.  I have an appointment next week with my OB/GYN so we can get to the bottom of things.  Right now on CD 16  which is 1 dpo.  Considering my 24 day cycle, it just isn't going to work!  I'll take my data and list of tests and see what comes of it.   If labs are drawn, it will be immediate as they have full lab services in her office.  Will update after my appointment.


caritasrainbow - I was sorry to read you didn't keep the BFP... I had so much hope!  At least now you are sure about what you want and don't want to give up. 


BTW - I am loving the Ovacue.   It gave a 7-day advance indication of O-day.  I could track the trends of my increasing estrogen levels leading up to the LH surge, and could also confirm ovulation by following the rise of progesterone!  My CBFM gave me 3 bars (peak fertility) the morning that the Ovacue said I ovulated.  Considering we usually BD at night, I might have missed the window completely!  However, with a projected short LP I have low hopes for a good outcome this time around.  Darn it... I'm ready to get this show on the road!

emom47's Avatar emom47 08:32 AM 11-10-2013
Hello everyone,
I am new to this board. I will be 40 in June and I have been trying TTC for almost a year. I have a 3-year-old and he still nurses, though I have had regular periods since last November. I had strange brown discharge before my period fully began during my last two cycles. Both times I thought it might be implantation bleeding until I got lots of bright red. This month it started on day 20 of my cycle (my cycles have been 28ish days long) stopped for a couple of days, and then started again. Does anyone know why?

I know I am young for it, but I fear I may be approaching menopause. I've had hot flashes, but considering the weather here lately, they might not be hormone-induced! Still, I am terrified of early menopause because I still want another baby.

My husband is so good about accepting that whatever will be will be, but I get so sad every month. We have a happy little family and maybe I should just make peace with just having one, but every month we try just to see and every period I am depressed for a couple of days.

Thanks for listening. Every time one of you gets pregnant, it gives me hope.
littlestarlet's Avatar littlestarlet 12:58 PM 11-14-2013

Wow. I honestly never thought I'd find myself on this site again. My journey began in May of this year when I was shocked and elated to find out I was pregnant with my first child at 40. It wasn't planned -- I was on birth control pills. Somehow, I managed to defy all the odds of conception given this and my age, but I did. At eight weeks, I miscarried and had to have a D&C procedure. It was just about the most awful experience of my life.


After the miscarriage, I had pretty much resolved myself to motherhood not being in the cards for me. I felt like mother nature had sent me a message of sorts and that my window of fertility was finally closing. I wasn't happy about it, but I suppose I had to learn to accept it. I did everything I could to put it out of my mind and move on. Through both of my siblings having babies through the years, I have always been there...wearing my 'Super Aunt' hat with love and pride.


This month, my fiance and I decided to chart my cycle to determine my fertile window. It honestly was kind of a game. He dared me to entertain the idea that I could actually get pregnant again and I agreed to play along. Much to our surprise and astonishment, I tested positive on three different tests yesterday and today. We are overjoyed and truly stunned that it happened so quickly.


I pray that this time my pregnancy is successful and there are no complications. I want so badly to have a child and watching the years go by knowing my biological clock is probably teetering and sputtering is incredibly daunting. I'm doing my best to be calm and positive, but I also know that nothing is ever a guarantee.


I'm very happy to be here with all of you and hope we all become friends throughout this journey.


My best wishes to all my fellow 40 somethings who, like me, are determined to defy the odds.


little starlet 

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 09:11 PM 12-01-2013
Well I thought I'd post. I got a veeeeery faint bfp on a frer this afternoon. I'm on cd 25, probably 11 dpo. It's incredibly faint. A true squinter. After three mc's this year I am not ready to get excited. Wondering if I should even bother calling for betas yet. Maybe wait another week or so? At ant rate, I needed somewhere to say this. Thanks.
Just for a refresher, I have ds 5/93, dd 2/00, ds 8/02, ds 4/07, dd 2/11 and mc 5/13, mc 8/13, mc 11/13. No problems getting pregnant, just suddenly can't seem to keep one. I turned 42 in August.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 07:42 AM 12-02-2013
Line is still there this morning. Also realized I'm counting the first day of my last mc as the first day of my last period. This may or may not be correct, which means my o day could be off making my dpo different. In other words, I may not be quite as far dpo as I was guessing. What lthis means to me is that if I am earlier dpo, then it may be quite normal that my lines are so faint. The control line was even a bit faint and I used FMU. But where I was thinking I was 11 dpo yesterday, I could really be just 10 dpo today, or less. I know I only bd'd on cycle day 14, counting cd 1 as first day of mc, so the dates can't be too far off, but even those couple of days difference could mean a lighter line due to a later o day.
How we over think these things in our desperation! And I continue to pretend it doesn't matter anyway! As if!
What does blow is that I had gotten back on a medication that is a no no for pg, so as of today I have to skip it, and that makes my life more difficult for sure.
Well anyway, here is where I am on this journey. Let's see where it takes me. I will wait until af is officially late before calling dr for betas as my progesterone has always been normal. I will def wait to see if I can make it to 12 weeks or so to say anything to anyone, but not sure about dh. I never even told him about my last mc.
Not ready to celebrate yet, but making those necessary lifestyle changes just in case. Please no congrats at this stage, just encouragement.
And can I please add---- Please please please let me keep this one!!! ;^). Three mc's this year has been such a heavy heartaching burden, please let me have my final child.
orangemomma's Avatar orangemomma 06:45 PM 12-02-2013

I hope it's a sticky little bean caritasrainbow! Keep us posted.

gelato's Avatar gelato 09:54 AM 12-03-2013

I dropped by here the other day to read about other 40+ moms and their experiences with conception and IVF and suddenly I find myself in an unexpected place: I think I'm pregnant. I'm a few days late and we've definitely been trying but we didn't think it was going to happen. We had visited a fertility doc at the recommendation of my midwife. (Our son born last November was conceived on the first try.) The doc was planning to get me started with IVF, so we were sure we had a super slim chance of conceiving. They were expecting me to call to announce the arrival of my period and I had to call to tell them it never came. I thought I could just test at home and proceed with my midwife but they wanted to confirm the positive with a blood test. I'm excited and extremely nervous as I wait for results later today. I don't know what to think and I'm not feeling the symptoms I had with our son. If I am indeed pregnant and all goes well, we will be SO thrilled. I can't share this news with anyone because I have a younger sister trying to conceive her first via IVF right now and it's been a very tough road for her.


Hugs and warm wishes to all!

sherryvhkb's Avatar sherryvhkb 04:15 PM 12-03-2013
Just lurking. Caritas rainbow and gelato big congrats!!! Wonderful news to see. Keep us posted.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 11:59 AM 12-04-2013
Went to the dr today for my first set of blood draws. Checking the usual- betas and progesterone. Nurse noted my urine test was light. Kinda wanted to punch her. It wasn't FMU, and really? The hpts I've done are not getting lighter. I'll keep poas until I run out of tests.
Anyway, second beta draw Friday, and depending how progesterone looks, either not another, or a second one next week. As soon as my beta levels hit 5,000 dr will order an ultrasound.
So now I wait. Still feeling crappy and tired and hungry. Dr said all good signs. Funny when it's good to be sick!
I haven't told anyone irl and continue to be in shock and anxious.
gelato's Avatar gelato 02:24 PM 12-04-2013

Caritasrainbow, I'm right there with you! I'm somewhat shocked, a bit anxious, and also feeling tired and hungry. I go for my second blood test tomorrow. First one (obviously) went well and the nurse scheduled the second and told me an ultrasound will follow if all is well. Exciting and a little scary.


I've already had to dodge a question from my mother about this. Ugh. So thankful I can write here and feel like I'm expressing my excitement and joy. I'm a little overwhelmed with guilt because my sister has been trying so hard for so long. Sigh...

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 11:23 AM 12-06-2013
First beta came in at 14dpo 76.5 hcg. The only reason I got these numbers is because I went in for my second blood draw and told the nurse I wanted my numbers. She said that seemed low to her as my last beta (around 7 weeks last pg that ended in mc) was over 10,000. I was like, um, that's a three week difference, I'm pretty sure that number is within normal. So now I'm worried.
Progesterone was 21.4 and the nurse didn't know what average was supposed to be. I put a call in to the dr, but I won't hold my breath she will call back.
So now I sit and worry until I call Monday and start bugging them for my second beta numbers. No follow up scheduled either. Dr said us at hcg 5,000. That's IF I make it that far.
So the mind game is now this- I am feeling kinda put out about having to give up so much of my life for this pregnancy. Now, if I knew it was going to end with a baby, I wouldn't mind at all. But I feel like I'm giving up things for nothing. It's so hard to imagine this pregnancy will actually last. Like another inconvenience. I know I sound ungrateful. I'm just so pensive. It's hard to be excited and happy when I've already lost three pregnancies this year.
Sorry for the ramble...
innacircle's Avatar innacircle 02:38 PM 12-06-2013
Originally Posted by caritasrainbow View Post

First beta came in at 14dpo 76.5 hcg.

This sounds completely within normal range!   American Preg association lists a range of 5-426, and I found a fertility clinic and some websites that all list the hcg average for 14dpo as being 48 with a range of 17-119. 


Also, in my math nerdyness, I did some calculations.

Starting at 76, if you double every 3 days then by 7 wks that would put you around 9728 (very close to what the nurse mentioned as your number last time). 

However, if your hcg doubles every 2 days that would give you a 7 week figure of around 77,000.  So looking at that initial number it looks like you're plenty within range to see some very nice hcg numbers. 


Don't be bummed about the start and what some dodo said.  Have faith that this IS that special pregnancy and enjoy it for all the potential it holds!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 03:02 PM 12-06-2013
Nurse from the dr's office just returned my call. She let me know that my progesterone level was fine (that's the one I was actually worried about) and went on to let me know that the dr had NOT seen my labs yet (it is now 4:59pm Friday), and further she had no idea why the dr would have ordered these labs in the first place!!!! UGH!!! I want to scream!!!! Well, because this is my fourth pregnancy in the last few months!?!? Never mind I am 42 years old you idiot!!! Omg!!! I swear this is why I have gone unassisted the last four kids! These people are total morons. So pissed I actually need them now!
Soul-O's Avatar Soul-O 01:18 AM 12-09-2013

Hello All:  Mind if I join in?  My name is Tabitha, and I'm a military spouse who is currently living in Wiesbaden, Germany with my DH and family.  I turned 40 on November 18, and we've been casually TTC for the last three months.  I have six wonderful DSs (see signature), ranging in age from almost 14 yrs to 15 months.  I've also had six MCs, so I know that getting pregnant and staying pregnant are definitely not one and the same!  


Anyhow, it's nice to find a group of mamas who are going down a similar path.  We would love to grow our family, but are realistic about our chances of conceiving again at our ages (DH is 44), so we are also open to foster/adopt when we get back to the states in 2.5 years.  That said, my Day 3 fertility testing #s from last month were essentially the same as they were four years ago, so I have some hope of success.  I'm currently 12 DPO, and woke up feeling kinda drowsy, warm, and mildly queasy as well (which is how I usually feel right around the time that I get a BFP) with sore breasts.  I've decided I don't want to see a BFN again, so I'm not testing until 15 DPO.  This is a huge week for my DH, work-wise, so I'd kinda like to surprise him with a BFP :).


Nice to meet you, and BFP wishes to all!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 05:21 AM 12-09-2013
Innacircle- I forgot to thank you for your calculations. They did help to put my mind at ease. Know anything about progesterone levels? I honestly can't find anything to tell me what's normal.
Fx for my numbers today from Friday. No bleeding yet, so far I'm hanging in there. Not even 5w yet though. Lol! I sooooo want this time to be different!!!!!
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 05:21 AM 12-09-2013
And soul-o, welcome!
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 07:14 AM 12-09-2013
Second beta 146.8. So the first was done 14 dpo approx at noon 11/4. Second two days later 9:30 am 11/6. Numbers didn't quite double. Close, but not exactly. I realize some take a wee bit longer and this wasn't exactly to the second 48 hrs, but I'm left feeling less hopeful than before.
Those low numbers also don't explain the severity of my symptoms over the weekend. The stupid nurse called to say 76.2 was low and the dr wanted a second set. I was like, the ones taken Friday were the same as Wednesday?!? She said she hadn't realized a second set was done. I swear these people are simply not with it.
So I am still hopeful, but I was really wanting higher numbers. This does not give me the confidence I wanted.
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 10:36 AM 12-09-2013
Back to the office for another draw, hopefully get results tomorrow.
Soul-O's Avatar Soul-O 10:38 AM 12-09-2013
Praying for good results, Caritasrainbow!
innacircle's Avatar innacircle 10:56 AM 12-09-2013
Originally Posted by caritasrainbow View Post

Second beta 146.8. So the first was done 14 dpo approx at noon 11/4. Second two days later 9:30 am 11/6. Numbers didn't quite double. Close, but not exactly. I realize some take a wee bit longer and this wasn't exactly to the second 48 hrs, but I'm left feeling less hopeful than before.
Those low numbers also don't explain the severity of my symptoms over the weekend. The stupid nurse called to say 76.2 was low and the dr wanted a second set. I was like, the ones taken Friday were the same as Wednesday?!? She said she hadn't realized a second set was done. I swear these people are simply not with it.
So I am still hopeful, but I was really wanting higher numbers. This does not give me the confidence I wanted.

OK so 76 to 146.8 is as close to doubling as it needs to be... it's a guideline, not a decree!  I read some studies showing hcg doubling and boy babies tend to walk right on that line of exactly double, where girls tend to speed up and do a little more than double.  So maybe it's a boy. 

I did my nerdy calculations and if you had done that hcg second sample around noon, your number would likely have been 151.5 which is right at the doubling mark (of 152). 

Be happy my dear!  Things look good, although your doc's office sounds a bit wacky!

I'm not well versed on progesterone, but I know above 15 is considered A-OK in early pregnancy.  I'll do a little digging to see if I can find any research with more info.  I'm super excited for you! 

innacircle's Avatar innacircle 11:33 AM 12-09-2013

carita - here's the info on progesterone and hcg during early pregnancy from the APA.


Progesterone levels can have quite a variance. They can range from 9-47ng/ml in the first trimester, with an average of 12-20ng/ml in the first 5-6 weeks of pregnancy.

With both hCG levels and progesterone levels, it is not the single value that can predict a healthy pregnancy outcome. It is more important to evaluate two different values to see if the numbers are increasing. Levels of hCG should be increasing by at least 60 % every 2-3 days, but ideally doubling every 48-72 hours.


Accordingly, your stats so far are perfect.     jumpers.gif      Woohoo!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 02:51 PM 12-09-2013
Well that does make me feel a little better, thank you. Hopefully I will have today's number by tomorrow afternoon. I am really hoping for a much bigger jump, but I guess anything over 450 hcg would be enough to not make me completely give up hope.
I did go to Goodwill today and fattened my maternity library quite a bit. Lol! So I guess I'm more hopeful than I'm letting on. Just so really very anxious and nervous. Now last pregnancy my first two 48 hours apart numbers were like 290 and 295, so it does seem much better this time. Those numbers were done slightly later, so that's why they are higher. They later jumped right up and I felt relief, but later when I got my new OB and the pregnancy was clearly nearing the end, she said those first two numbers were pretty tell-tale.
Side note- of course I'll be happy with a healthy baby either way, but I gotta admit I'm super hoping for a girl. Lol! I have three boys and two girls, and my youngest (will be 3.5 at the time of birth if this sticks) is a girl. My luck it'll be another boy.
Feels good to joke about the sex, but the second my quick laugh is over I'm back to trepidation.
innacircle's Avatar innacircle 08:03 PM 12-09-2013

carita - I totally get where you're coming from about joking but we DO have to live a little.  It can't all be serious.  I was an ICU nurse in one of the most high acuity units in the country.  It was bad in there - 1 in 5 patients died, even with the best in US medical care.  We gave blood, sweat and tears every day and it sucked the life out of me.  That being said, we still joked.  It's life - and it feels good to let loose of the reigns a little bit and be a goof sometimes.


I look forward to your update with new blood results.  I bet you're going to find they look great and hopefully that will make you start to feel a little more optimistic.  Realizing your history, there will never be zero worry, but you can't live life in that shadow!

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 08:21 PM 12-09-2013
Thank you for the pep talk. I really need that. Since I haven't told anyone, I've no one to give me those, so you really have no idea how much it means to me. A very good friend of mine is a nurse on a heart transplant unit at a children's hospital. I don't know how y'all do that. It's good there are wonderful strong women like y'all out there. Thank you.
Arabelle's Avatar Arabelle 01:29 PM 12-10-2013

I've been lurking and really not sure where I stand... I'll be 43 in 2 weeks. I have 4 kids ranging from 14-23. I got remarried this summer and we conceived in July on the 1st try. I miscarried at 11 weeks in September. We conceived again the next cycle and I miscarried at 6 weeks on November 30th. I'm close to ovulating again and I know conceiving isn't my issue, so I've just been trying to decide if I'm ready to try again. I think I came to the conclusion today that trying again is more helpful to my healing process than sitting out a cycle and feeling sad. I know I'm healthy and that this is just my healthy body eliminating unhealthy embryos.... I'm tired of hearing statistics and horror stories. I was really relieved to read of some success stories in this thread. I know that positive attitude has such a huge impact. So I guess I'm here... and I hope that I can be a productive and supportive addition to the group :) 

caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 01:34 PM 12-10-2013
Welcome! We have similar stories. My 5 kids range from 20-2 and I am 42 with three losses this year. I am also healthy, just seem to have bit an age where egg age makes a difference. I am currently pregnant again, very very early on. Fx for your sticky bean soon!
Arabelle's Avatar Arabelle 01:36 PM 12-10-2013
Carita I have followed your posts and have been crossing my fingers for you smile.gif Thank you for the welcome and sticky thoughts to you smile.gif
caritasrainbow's Avatar caritasrainbow 02:53 PM 12-10-2013
Omgoodness! Just realized I didn't post my new numbers. The very nice nurse called me at 9:30 this morning. So:
12/04 76.2
12/06 146.8
12/09 641.9
Dr said I could continue beta checks if I wanted them, but she did not feel that they were necessary. Scheduled ultrasound for 12/23, and I imagine that's when I will see the dr for my first real prenatal. Could make or break Christmas for sure.
Fx for my new tww.
Tags: Trying To Conceive
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