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The Saner TTC-Thunder Moon

29K views 676 replies 32 participants last post by  chuord 
#1 ·
Hello all and welcome!

The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution.

Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.

We hope you'll join us.

Hey all! Welcome to the new thread and welcome to any newcomers that I may have missed in my absence
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Taking a month off from all things TTC was brilliant for my sanity!

I don't recall if we had any BFP's last month so chime in & fill me in!

I'm on vacation right now in Portland, OR and I'm not looking at the calendar at all in regard to my cycle so I don't even know where I'm at
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Guessing it's not gonna happen this month, but I'm ok with that. DP & are having challenges, again, some more so who knows what's gonna happen at this point... But I'm here & still rootin for ya'll
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#252 ·
Morning all!

Winter, take it easy, it will give your little one most chance of attaching and being there in time to stop AF coming along. Do something nice for you.

Chuord- I am intrigued by kinergetics. What do they actually do when they treat you? Is it talking, or contact like acupuncture or something like faith healing. It sounds like a great way to unblock energy. I am looking for a British practitioner to try.

Wengrin- I hear you on the stress of he corporate world. I too work full time in a corporate job, it is very stressful playing the game. I am arranging to do a job share and drop down to 3 days a week. It will help me get more balance and chill, which I hope will help TTC and also give me someone space. Them I would like to do something different for those two days, maybe some consultancy or a smaller job for a local company instead of commuting up to London. It's big decisions and financial impact and I hope it will be more fulfilling. Obviously the job I really want for those days off is mum!! Good luck looking for somethingire flexible, with your finance background you have a good skillset to sell.

AFM, still more heartache with my teenage stepdaughter. She has cut is off entirely now and won't speak to her dad, because he gets her to do study when she comes to our house and she doesn't like it. She prefers to hang out with her friends and do nothing (and is failing her exams). It's so hard seeing her throw away her future and a loving dad for such a hedonistic reason :-(. I struggling to balance three things- 1) bring true to myself and authentic and expressing my opinion, 2) supporting DH who is devastated 3) doing the right thing for my step daughter even if she doesn't like it.
 
#254 ·
Omg!!!!! I just tested with an internet cheapie and not with fmu but didn't drink or pee for 3 hours and I got a BFP
:joy
It's a very faint line but it is very visible too and showed up within 2 minutes of doing the test!!! I can't even believe it!
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Seriously is this happening right now?

In complete shock! And afraid to be happy because I'm so anxious it won't stick... I'll test again tomorrow to see the line hopefully a bit darker, and use the digital test the next day. I'm going to be walking around in a daze the rest of the day haha

Oh AF please stay away and give this one a chance
:bow
 
#256 ·
Oxford - I'm so very sorry. Sending you love and patience. I'm sure she will soften in time. Has anyone spoken with a school counselor about her situation? Maybe they would have some advice, or could provide some insight. And I hate to mention it, but have you considered drug or alcohol abuse, or perhaps depression or an eating disorder as an underlying reason for her recent turmoil?

AFM: 16dpo. I'm wondering if my body dropped its egg a couple days later than I thought. I started spotting right after my last post, so today is day 5 of spotting. That's normal for me. AF will definitely be here today or tomorrow at the latest. That's okay. I totally need the hysteroscopy that I have scheduled. Something is not quite right and I think it's preventing embryos from sticking. I'm so glad that I don't have proof of that or it'd make me very sad.
 
#257 ·
Winter - woohoo! Fx for a sticky mama! I agree try and stay zen to give it a best chance.

Wengrin - how's things with you?

Oxford - hugs! I think mama blue is right on the money, a school counsellor is impartial - and may be able to get through... Even if she rejects them - at least the school will know dads concern and that the behaviour is not normal for her... I totally understand, I blocked up my throat chakra previously (so I found out) from having to bite my tongue re dh parents. (Only child - Chinese lol) do you know we've been married almost 8 years to get her 13 and they have never asked anything about my past. Anyway I understand - however a hormonal teenager who confuses herself is a much more fragile (though equally annoying) thing - keep supporting dh, although gently suggesting to him things to help is good...
Re kinergetics - it works on muscle testing, the first time most people try to work against it... My friends husband is a rescue fire fighter (guarded the pope, flies to international disasters and is built like the hulk) Philip is short and the build of John Lennon - the husband could not hold his muscles tight against Philip when he wanted. Through the muscles it allows the sub conscious real 'feelings' out and then using the muscles they can re program. It's weird... But the more major the thing being corrected the more you can feel it... For me when Ranee tells me it's this age - I mention things that happened - she tells me which one is the block - I get an emotional response (hard to talk, tears) and I'm not in control, it's like acknowledging a grief you were unaware of - then when corrected you feel more at peace. Lol sorry ladies its soo hard to describe - one session would tell you everything about how it works and if its for you.

Mama blue - I'm glad you don't know for sure too! However I think your intuition that something is not quite right is good, fx AF cones quickly and you can get through this month and onto the next!
 
#258 ·
Thank you everyone for the lovely congrats
:joy
I still can't quite believe it and have a lot of anxiety, but trying hard not to stress. Didn't sleep too well last night because of over thinking stuff, so just trying to keep calm now and wait and see if it sticks or not.

Really hoping more of you will be joining me in the June Due Date Club when it opens!??!

Still sick but glad this stressful week is over, trying to rest and drink water, boobs still sore more than AF usual -that has been my only consistent pregnancy symptom so far. AF expected tomorrow so hoping this one sticks and no AF! I'll still be around here until I'm sure it's not coming, as I can't help having doubts after previous experience.
 
#259 ·
Winter we all totally understand the caution, but fx it goes smoothly! It's funny but I totally agree with what mama blue said (sometime) that knowing intuitively that you are is the best symptom - it's true... You just have to wait for confirmation. How is dh? Did you tell him? If not yet do you have a special plann to do it? Lol still living vicariously!

Well bd 'season' is over for me, still having a few issues with dh - maybe I've put too much pressure on him - so focussing on relaxing... But at least timing wise we are in with a small chance.
 
#260 ·
Oxford: I can totally relate to your feelings. It is so hard to find a healthy balance between soul integrity and not pissing off your DH.....it must be so hard to watch him struggle with her and not want to just let her know exactly how you feel about how selfish she is being. Of course "Daddy's girl" factor comes into play and be will be protective. This must be a strain for you guys. I hope you can work out that job sharing arrangement! That would be great. The commute must be hell for you. I know when I was working, i would spend 3 hours everyday just commuting back and forth and to drop off/ pick up DD at preschool. It was such a rat race. I hope I can finagle something lucrative but flexible when DS goes to school.

Anyway i hope your step daughter comes around soon. Hugs.

Winter- so happy for you and fx'd for a healthy sticky baby bean!!! Try to relax and take care of yourself. :)

Chuord: I am so intrigued by what you are telling us about kinergetice- I feel like I have major "blocks" but don't know quite where they come from or when it began.

Also Chuord- I wondered if I was the only one going through relationship struggles while ttc. It has been so difficult and the pressure has caused problems for us. Plus school just starting back for DD and trying to get her straightened out into a good routine has been tough. So I wondered if the tension and disagreements were a reason to stop the ttc for now and see what happens. I don't want to add more strain to our marriage. But we both want one more child....so the clock is ticking. We actually went to counseling last week. I felt so crazy because here we are trying to have a baby and we are having uncertainty about our marriage. I know he loves me and supports me, but he can be so unemotional and discinnected sometimes, like his only focus is work. It is hard....men are so different from women. We process things much differently......

AFM- I am waiting to O....which should be sometime Wednesday through Saturday of this coming week.

On a good note- this weekend we came to Georgia to visit his family, and went to a waterpark and a beautiful outdoor festival on Jekyll Island today. It was a great day. Plus we started this morning off with a super BD (just for fun) and it was amazing. It is so nice to relax and stop trying so hard. It made the BD much more enjoyable for me I think. And that strengthens the bond between us. So good day here. :)
 
#261 ·
Hey all! I'm still lurking out here on occasion
:wink
and I just wanted to toss some info to those of you having difficulty in your relationships and not understanding each other, and even for those of you who are just peachy it may give you deeper insight to keep your relationship strong & healthy. There's a system that explains the difference between an "emotional" and a "physical" one is typically more focused on money/work and the other is more focused on relationship and it doesn't always follow the traditional man/woman roles. This site has a little quiz that will tell you which one you are http://www.hypnosis.edu/ep/ and also has the link for the book. And it has a long video about it too!
 
#262 ·
Cool!!! Thanks Prescottchels!!

DH is totally the physical. He has so many strengths (physically) but lacks the emotional depth to communicate on the level that I would like. I know I need to focus on his qualities and be grateful that he has all of those strong Alpha male qualities. He is a great leader....and a provider for our family. It is hard though when we are so emotional....especially with the hormonal ups and downs of ttc. That is why I value all of you ladies on this board! Someone who understands and can empathize.

:)
 
#263 ·
So glad you found the info helpful, wengrin! And this is why we have girlfriends
:wink
 
#264 ·
Our weekend fun- Shrimp and Grits festival on Jekyll Island. (For those that aren't familiar with grits, they are a southern staple when we eat any type of seafood! Fish, shrimp especially. Creamy and rich and soooo good!)



Here is my 11 year old step-son getting a big fat smooch from my 2 year old :)



Hope all of you ladies had a great weekend! Take care :)
 
#266 ·
Hi Prescott! Great to see you on here and thanks for the link
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Wengrin I thought the same thing, I think in times of stress for the men they go into provider warrior lol and any emotions they do share get bottled up...

Those pics are cute!
 
#267 ·
Hello,

Thanks for your advice ladies. Wengrin, you are spot on with daddy's princess and balancing soul integrity with supporting my husband. Mamblue, thanks for your questions. I'm pretty sure she's not got an eating disorder as she was with us for two weeks holiday before all this started. She seemed to be clean if drugs, I know she drinks with her mates. I think the root cause is more mundane- she's being lazy and wants the most pleasure with no hard work.

Wengrin- this photos are soooo cute. It looks like your little DS gets on well with his step brother :) that's so cute.

Sorry to hear about the relationship stresses (chuord and wengrin). We had a few pressure issues when we first started TTC and in the end I said right, it's up to you! Here's the rough target days, over to you buddy! He felt less manipulated when I was clear the range I days. I still get frustrated that he is tired on the killer day quite often. It's annoying because not only do you know it's the best day for conceiving, Mother Nature also pumps up your libido!! Men are difficult. They are definitely a different race!! My DH is quite sensitive and in touch emotionally, he will still go away to think about it all on his rock though!! I have to keep giving him a prod.

Has anyone else ever had spotting at O time? I don't think it's anything to worry. I've had a tiny bit once before but more this time.

Finally- wengrin- I smiled at your comment about non BD sex!! Glad you enjoyed your recreational BD!! It really is a great connection when we all put aside this rollercoaster and enjoy our marriage. Good for you! :)
 
#268 ·
Oxford - yay on the step daughter not having a 'major' issue. It's just a shame she doesn't understand a but more work now means less gross jobs in the future lol... Maybe if they taught you that I career Ed... If you study you can be a lawyer, etc if you don't you can clean the toilets... - it sure would have worked on me!

Re o spotting, I had some this month (maybe) I didn't chart o (just afterwards) but it happened the typical day before o and I thought it was just my cervix getting a little fragile from bd... But maybe... Mine was a couple of wipes with just a hint... How much are you talking?
Mama blue - how long to your hysteriscopy?
Hoping - is dh home? How are you coping?
Wengrin - how's finding the love going?

Afm - my temps have shot up this month around .1 c every day since o (ish) I looked back over my old charts and none of them had this amount of climb over so short a time... Hmmm maybe it's the vitex... Fascinating getting this intimate with your body.
I have one of my best friends here with her two boys (5&7) yesterday I got a surprise bonus migraine lol - I'm not used to that level of energy around me! Thank goodness babies start small
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#269 ·
Oxford-

Spotting (for me) at O time always meant a really strong ovulation. Meaning the hormones pumped and a good egg was produced. I hope that is a good sign for you!

Chuord-
Sorry for the migraine...I know how bad that stinks. But migraines tend to come on for me when I am pregnant! Hope this is a good sign for you too!

I noticed we had the full moon (Blue moon) on Friday the 20th. I wonder if that's why I woke up Sat incredibly frisky....and I can't tell that I have ovulated yet but I have had the ecwm yesterday and today.

I was reading that whatever phase the moon was at the time of your own birth, will affect your fertility as it relates to the moon phase now.....I looked back and realized I was born on a full moon day. Thought that was pretty interesting!

Thanks ladies- yes the weekend was good. The kids got along great and we got a chance to reconnect. Sometimes breaking the routine a bit helps....it really helped us. DH has been more attentive the last few days.

And yes Chuord- I completely agree about men retreating during stressful times to their provider/protector mode....there really are huge differences in our make up. We are wired so differently.

Well we BD again today....I should be Oing any day here. We shall see.....

I had a baby shower for a mom that is in our playgroup. All of our kids are about the same age, and four of the moms are expecting. The friend today, she is from Brazil and she was telling us about their cultural traditions. Her mom is coming for 3 months! To cook, clean, laundry, iron, look after baby, help mom recover....it sounds so nice. My mom was a lot of help when DD was born in 2005, but she doesn't get around as well now. It was exciting to celebrate the new baby (due in 2 weeks). Her DD will be 2 next month, and now they are expecting a boy. So sweet.

I hope everyone is well...will be interesting how this Blue moon affects each of us.

Take care!
 
#270 ·
Hi, again

I've been lurking quietly for a while. It's been a rollercoaster for me with the whole TTC thing. Started TTC last November, had a BFP in February, miscarried in May. Then I felt overwhelmed and decided not to try again for a while, so I had an IUD placed. I experienced a lot of cramping and uneasiness, and I pulled it out (myself; I'm a bit of a medical DYI type; it's a nurse thing). Anyway, DH has never stopped wanting to try again now, and it looks like I'm going to have the option of working from home at least part of the time if I want, so I think we're trying now. Now is probably better timing than last year, as DD is almost two, and will be more independent when we have another. I'm still a little uneasy about having another little one (this will be my fourth, although my first two are quite a bit older), but, when it comes down to it, this really is what we want the most.

So, we're trying.

I'm five-ish DPO; I am not 100% sure about our timing as I didn't get in that double-sure BD I usually try to on my estimated O day (but we did have a BD a day or two before). There is a chance, though, so I'm waiting. I'm really, really trying to be much saner about the process this time, and just keep a half-eye on it. I'm young enough (and, to be honest, nervous enough) that it doesn't need to happen right this minute. I'm trying to just leave it to its own timing, and focus on life outside my uterus.

As far as life goes, DH and I just got new bikes, and I've been having a blast exploring the trails around our house. It's great exercise, which I've really needed. We're also introducing a gluten-free diet for our son, who has some digestive issues, to see if it helps. That's been an adjustment (we like pasta).

What has everyone else been up to?
 
#271 ·
Just checking back in. I'm afraid my internet time is limited these days except for when I'm nursing my dd to sleep at night, and then I'm on a tablet so typing isn't efficient. It's good to know I'm not alone in my nervous anticipation about the wait though, so I do like checking in.

I'm a SAHM, and I've got two kids already. This one is most likely the last one. I haven't had any difficulty conceiving in the past, so I'm hoping for smooth sailing. I'm still nursing this time though, but I hope not often enough to cause issues. I was due to start today, and I tested twice over the weekend, but they were both negative. The dollar store down the street is out of tests, so I think I'll just wait it out until 18 dpo, unless AF shows up. I'm trying to get over my issues with trying to control everything by knowing as much as possible as early as possible. In the end, knowing a couple of days sooner, or even taking a test, isn't going to make a difference. I just have to keep telling myself that.
 
#272 ·
Wengrin - lol re the moon timing, I get images of you chasing dh around like a sex fiend
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Interesting that bit about it being connected to our birth moon!
Re migraines - my neuro alway told me they tend to go away if pg... So I get extra annoyed when I get one after I lol.

Primal joy - I totally get you... November was my start too - although I've only had a few chem losses rather than the full mc... Here's hoping that this time you get there in a few months!
 
#273 ·
Dandy lion - nice to see you, have you been here much before? Fx for you that it goes quickly!
We are definitely due some BFP's on this site!
 
#274 ·
Dandy - So exciting that your testing day is so close. We are overdue for a BFP in this thread. Maybe you'll break our recent dry spell.

Is anyone else close to testing day? I'm rooting for all of you.

AFM, I'm on CD6. I have a hysteroscopy scheduled on Monday. I'm feeling optimistic and a wee bit nervous. Other than that, I'm just waiting waiting waiting here in procreative limbo. lol.
 
#276 ·
PrimalJoy- fx'd that this happens smoothly and easily for you! Sounds like you and hubby are enjoying bonding time together with your bikes...that is so important. Good for you! Ouch on the IUD removal...wow. Yes I have heard some friends have bad issues with their IUD. Even the copper ones that are supposed to not affect your hormones...cause issues. I don't plan to go that route after I (hopefully) have one more baby. I think we will chart and try the Fertility Awareness Method. Then I laugh thinking of accidentally getting pregnant at 45 something... with twins. I heard the 40-50 range is the 2nd group of unplanned pregnancies, aside from teens-early twenties. And also that multiples are common in 40's aged moms (can't remember the scientific reasoning...something about FSH).

Chuord- Ha....yes it was quite hilarious with the full moon. I don't know if it was that, or if breastfeeding was suppressing my libido in addition to hindering my fertility. Since we weaned a couple weeks ago maybe my sex drive is going back to normal? I don't know....but DH is thrilled either way. (Haha)

I am on CD 12 which is usually my O day but I have been having symptoms since the weekend so I thought it was happening early. However I haven't seen a temp rise....so I guess it either hasn't happened yet or my progesterone might be lacking....I will wait until Sat or Sun before beginning the progesterone supplements. In the meantime we are BD every night. :)

Also Chuord- not completely true about the migraines and pregnancy. Yes definitely for some women that is true. But for me and several people I know, the surge in hormones sets off massive migraines. My first pregnancy when I was 29...I spent days in bed with migraines that would last for 3 days! It was awful. (Not to scare you...of course it was worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat to have another blessing) but it was debilitating. I had to quit working in my 7th month. It was really rough. With my second pregnancy, I didn't have them as often but definitely still got them. There are of course so many things that trigger migraines...hormones do it for me but also blood sugar levels. And when you're pregnant your body sometimes doesn't regulate sugar as well as it normally does. So you have insulin spikes and lows....and that brings on migraines for me big time. I too had that discussion with my OB/GYN and Neuro while I was pregnant. They said some women who have chronic migraines notice that they ease up during pregnancy...but for some they don't and can even get worse. When I had my chemical pregnancy recently I noticed migraines and nausea as one of the first signs. That one didn't stick....but unfortunately migraines do occur during pregnancy and sometimes even more frequently when pregnant. The first trimester especially....ugh my head pounds and my stomach churns just thinking of it!! I hope you are one of the lucky ones that don't get them during pregnancy though!!!! :)

Hi Dandy! I too am a SAHM and also ttc #3 but have been struggling to get pregnant for about 6 months (I am almost 39 so it is more of a worry....even though it's only 6 months). I was also nursing so I wonder if that was causing my hormones to not allow the bean to stick. I had a chemical pregnancy in August. So I weaned my DS...he turned two in August (he was ready anyway). He only nursed as a habit, for comfort....before nap and nighttime. The nursing would only last 3-5 min and he was out cold asleep! So I know he wasn't nursing enough for it to be a big deal.

He actually weaned beautifully. I was just sure my little boob-a-holic was going to put up a major fuss. But he was a big boy and I got him a transition toy as an incentive. He has been great. He still wants to snuggle before he sleeps...and is in bed with us, but he snuggles right up to my chest and he will either pat my breast with his hand or kiss my chest...and occasionally ask to nurse but when I remind him that the nursies went bye-bye he quickly forgets about it. The kisses and snuggles are sooooooo sweet. It has been the best part of it. It's like he needs more affection because he misses the bond of nursing. So sweet- words can't explain how it melts my heart. :)

Anyway...my hope after that long novel is that you are able to continue nursing and carry a healthy pregnancy! I have heard that younger women can easily do it. I think age was against me...progesterone naturally declines as we approach 40- so when you add nursing it was too much for me....

Oxford- I hope you are doing well and hopefully work doesn't take too much of a toll on you! I know it is grueling, but I bet one positive is that it really helps take your mind off the grueling 2ww and obsessing over fertility. I remember days where I was so busy at work that I didn't know where the day went....it would be 5:00 before I knew it. Hope your day flies by and you are able to get everything done and feel good about it. :)

Take care everyone!
 
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