Here's a little story I hope might bring a smile to someones face... Yesterday I noticed our cat's eye was swollen and had a bit of goo on the side. Finally last night I decided to put some breast milk in it, as I'm pretty sure he has conjunctivitis. So, chuckling to myself, I hand expressed some milk and then broke into one of my $.88 Wal Mart pregnancy tests and stole the dropper. It worked perfectly! His eye is looking a bit better. This morning I was taking my last OPK (positive, of course) and decided, well... that test is already open I might as well. So I folded the edge of the little FMP filled cup and prepared to gently pour three drops into the little well. Luckily I had the foresight to hold it over the open toilet, because the whole thing tipped out, making me drop the test into the toilet. I fished it out before it sank, but it was obviously ruined. No big loss, I'm only 7 DPO (by my estimate). I figure I just wasn't meant to see a BFN.
Mama blue, Wengrin how's things with you two ladies today? Are you feeling it yet Wengrin? Mamablue, is it still there?
Sorry about my info / panic overload... It's not helped by the supercharged emotions (I cried at a roadside rescue advert last night ;/ ) thanks do much for your patience.
Thanks cricket, same to you... In fact my temp did go back up today! (Sorry ladies totally lost my zen) I was ready to go to emergency last night for a possible ectopic with that pain... Lucky dh is medical and told me there was no need to worry (ish)
So temp is back above cover line, I'm 6 days late... My hcg tests are meant to be sensitive to 10mg but either its not working or I'm not pg. ok am breathing and no idea whether to test or not lol... Worried about having the asprin (but we needed to see if we could help the pain)
Oxford - hope you don't mind my company next month
Chuord- SO glad your temp went back up! That is a great sign! I have heard of many women who never get a positive urine test. They just get it confirmed through bloodwork. The HCG serum concentration in some womens' urine is just not over the threshold....can you go have blood betas checked? I typed you a nice long response this morning, then someone called my iPhone and when I answered it deleted my log in!! Errrr...hate when that happens. I had personals written to everyone. And you know what a pain it is typing on these iPhones...I mean it is great but the touchscreen is frustrating for me. Anyway..please don't worry one bit about the aspirin/Tylenol you took. There are so many women who don't find out they're pregnant until 5-8 weeks! I was 8 weeks with DD and I was taking Advil (Ibuprofin), had dental work and x-rays, drank like a college student (OMG I really had a couple of drunken nights where I was so sick the next day and was 6 weeks pregnant, when vital organs are developing!) Anyway my doctor explained that anything you do once or twice before knowing you're pregnant is not going to harm the baby. So please don't sweat that. I am concerned about your bad cramping and not testing positive though...plus elevated temps and being late. I think this calls for a doctors visit. Is that an option? FX'd for you!!!!
Mares- you had me laughing out loud with your story. That is totally something I would do. I am very clumsy. And isn't it so awesome that our bodies produce milk with such strong antibodies that it will kill an infection!! Our bodies are amazing....
Mamablue and Cricket I hope your tests are darkening. I was glad to see Ocelot's testing progression...you can see she still only had a faint on the IC's at the time of her missed period. That's encouraging!!
Take care all! xx
Wow Wengrin, love those lines! No doubt about those getting darker.
Chourd, how are you doing? You sound like you're in good spirits, but don't be afraid to vent if you aren't. Last month I didn't really have any symptoms and I was still sad about each BFN, although when AF arrived it was almost a relief. Something interesting was definitely happening, though, wasn't it? Maybe your body is just gearing up
AFM, It's been a rough day. I keep thinking maybe my breasts are a little achy, but I think it is my imagination/sore nipples. Or the fact I keep pushing on them to see if they hurt, lol. No real symptoms over here.
Chuord- I truly feel like something is happening with you. I don't want to diagnose from across the world but I can't help but wonder if this was actually a chemical pregnancy, which is so sad and I hate to even bring it up, but I feel like if it was indeed a little bean that just couldn't implant that the silver lining would be that you CAN conceive on your own! Which would be so exciting! I am sending you very positive zen vibes and wishing you the very best!! Your journey has been long but you are learning so much about your body, staying positive, and most of all that suffering produces, character, perseverance, and most of all you are never letting to of hope!!! That is awesome and I truly admire your attitude. I wish we all lived closer and could meet up for a girls lunch one day! How great would that be?!
Oxford- thinking about you love and hoping you are having a peaceful weekend. I have so much hope and expectation for you especially....your condition should be a somewhat quick fix with some medication and possibly alternative procedures. You WILL be a Mama!!
Forgive if I have typed errors or sound loopy. In bed about to turn the lights off. Goodnight everyone- Good Morning Chuord!! 😃
Wengrin - I'm totally with mares, that's a lovely progression! Thanks so much for all your thoughts and suggestions - I'm totally in agrees ce with you that it was either a chem or early loss... I felt implant twinges on 7dpo, but the pain I was having for the last week almost felt like it was on my cervix - so something not quite right... Plus with the spotting there was some more irregular bits... Mares I'm with you totally - because it was starting to feel not quite right I am happy that AF has arrived - I really freaked about an ectopic yesterday lol...
Wouldn't it be fab to all catch up maybe we can just have a zen pg ladies forum on here instead then those of us that aren't there this month can catch up and join... We will get there I know it, I think you're right Wengrin, and I just don't test well in urine - that's the second time I've been over and still no bfp lol - and my tests were meant to be 10mg! Think I'll need to get some new ones
I'm so truly happy we have some bfp's this month! Hugs all
Chourd - Sending you soothing thoughts and hopes that AF is not too physically difficult this time around. xo
Mamablue - excited for you, fingers crossed!!
Chourd Im sorry to hear it but I totally can relate to your sensing - I was feeling myself that something wasn't right and my body knew it. On to next baby dancing party!
Thanks to you all for your encoragement & support!
TTC is so emotional, and you ladies are so strong and set such a great example. I feel really lucky to "know" you all. I was thinking, yesterday, about how sad I would be to miss out on our discussions if/when I get a BFP, and wondering how everyone felt about graduates hanging around and supporting those who are still waiting. I don't have any symptoms for this month, so I don't think I need to worry about that yet, but I would love to get people to weigh in. I know i would be totally sad to see MamaBlue and Wengrin go, and I hope you two will still be around and keep us updated on your sweet little beans. We could make a group, or something, if that was better though.
Does anyone know how soon you ovulate after you feel the ovulation pain? I mean, I felt it on the 2nd, how many DPO would I be... 8? Or perhaps less, because the egg was just being released then and it had to make its little journey?
Mares - sorry I don't know...
Ok after some research - given some of my symptoms and the violent mood swings and spotting, I'm guessing my progesterone is out... Ranee (my natural therapist) suggested 'Anna's cream' the link is to the feedback page - it seems to work for all ages and stages - but read the last one... I got very excited and had to share xxx Primal - I know you are younger than me but maybe this will help you too - I'm so totally over the ones that don't stick.
Chuord- I completely agree about the progesterone. I kept having beans that wouldn't stick (at least twice) but since I have supplemented with Prometrium (a prescription strength bio identical progesterone, now it appears to be implanting. Strange because I never had problems with it before, but I understand with age our progesterone naturally decreases. Plus my extended nursing caused my hormones to be out of whack. Anyway I would love to see you supplement and have next month or two be the ONE! Have you been to a fertility specialist? It seems like you said you had. I know the health care is much better in Australia than it is here in the US. I have heard the creams work but the suppositories (prescription) is more potent. Maybe since you're younger yours isn't that low and the cream would be just what you need to bump you up.
I logged on this AM and wrote to everyone and then lost it again! I hate when that happens. I just gave up.,but anyway Cricket I am sorry to hear you are out but glad to see you are keeping your chin up and on to the next month! One thing I meant to tell you, when I have felt that pinching in the cervix, it has been recently when I had what I thought was a pregnancy and then I would feel the pinching (which I think was my cervix opening up to allow the flow to start). I know you had the accident with your dog and I didn't want you to worry that you caused your bean to shake loose, since that pinching was happening before your poor doggie got attacked.
And SCJP- I would find a new doctor!! I wouldn't worry too much about the Zyrtec, but Singulair is nothing to mess with. Sounds like your Dr is not on top of things. Glad you were aware enough about double checking the dose!
Anyway ladies I hope you all had a great weekend. Also I did finally get a BFP...a nice dark line. Here is a pic of the progression. The left side started on Tuesday and the right side was taken this AM. So I didn't get a nice dark line until 15 dpo.
Yes, mares. This. I am right there with you.
Wengrin -- congratulations! That's an awesome line!
Mamablue -- Thinking sticky thoughts at you. Do you do betas?
Chuord -- My heart sank with you as this cycle's rollercoaster did its thing. I was worried for you re: ectopic, so I am glad that was not the case nonetheless, the whole thing is just damn unfair. You're going to be such a good mom... I am so hopeful for you.
Oxford -- I am so sorry for your diagnosis. I may have missed it, but have you and your doc discussed treatment options to help conceive? I don't have experience with polycystic ovaries, but maybe having your diagnosis will help your doctor help you? Many hugs to you.
If I missed anyone, please forgive me. I'm having a bit of a rough time. DH's best friend's wife got pregnant right when I did with the one I lost in May. She was due three days after I would have been. It ended up being twins... That twist of fate just felt cruel. It took quite a while before I could interact with her again. I didn't want to dampen their happiness, but it just hurt. Anyway, she was admitted to the hospital this week and will probably be delivering soon. It's all over Facebook, and I just keep looking at that belly thinking "That should be me. I should be a month away from a new baby right now." My due date would have been December 18, and I am hurting thinking about that date arriving and not being pregnant. It's mildly depressing. I am really hoping that I'll be able to separate thoughts of my loss from her babies. Need to do some meditating on that.
Otherwise, we're okay. I'm about 2 DPO, and we timed our BD pretty well this month, so we'll see. DH and I took a long bike ride this morning with DD which pretty much wiped me out for the day. I broke down and took some Advil, which I know can mess up implantation, but my muscles were just screaming. We went for eight miles over hilly terrain, and my office worker body just isn't used to that. So, we'll see. I can only hope my uterus will forgive me this once.
I am sorry for all the maudlin posts lately, have just been processing a lot. I will try to recover my zen very soon.
Have you told DH? Is he excited? Your DD and DS are going to love watching your tummy grow. Please do continue to hang out with us.
Mamablue- have you taken your FRER yet? I am so excited to hear about how you tell your hubster!! Please also stick around with us, I've so enjoyed my journey with you and wengrin. You inspire me after overcoming your painful treatments and going on to get that BFP!
Primal- lovely to see you back my dear. Big hugs for you on the twins, that is heart breaking. Be kind to yourself and know during the next hard month that you can do whatever you need to get through it and care for your body and soul. Can you book in some nice treats to keep you going? Big hugs.
Chuord- sorry you are out after the exciting symptoms. I will definitely be here with you next month buddy :-)
Scjp- lovely to hear from you. I agree in the advice to change your doctor, they are such a varied bunch. You deserve the best.
Over here I wasn't going to do any monitoring this month. I am not allowed to get pregnant this month after my procedure, so we have been using protection. However it seems to be a textbook month, typical! I had 5 days of EWCM, which I haven't had for at least the last 5 years, it's now down to one or two at my age! Then I cheated and did 4 days of temping just to see O and it seemed to happen on cd16. I know a temp rise does not guarantee actually releasing an egg, but it looks like a totally regular cycle. So now I'm confused! That's a while year of regular cycles except those last two (39 and 45 days). I don't know whether that counts as abnormal periods, and therefore I have PCOS, or not abnormal periods overall which mean I have polycystic ovaries like a lot if women. I would like to try the clomid though and see if it helps. Is anyone on clomid? Or had any experience in the past? Once I get AF out of the way, we are going to do lots of BD and throw the charts out of the window!!
Baby dust to you all!
Oxford- I believe I have polycystic ovaries. I know I get painful cysts...I had one diagnosed in the ER about 7 years ago because I was having pain and vomiting for like 12 hours so I went in. All they could find was the cyst. My OB said that being off BC contributes to cystic ovaries. I guess all the natural hormones causes the cysts. I believe many women have it. Also when I went in for a fertility consult on October 30th my OB did bloodwork and told me the next step was to try Clomid. He said it is just the jump start that many women need to get a nice strong O. I would love for you to try and and see what happens! Of course there is like a 10% chance of hyper stimulation of ovaries and conceiving twins. But I was ready to try it if I had not conceived this cycle. I'm excited for you because you have a plan and this will hopefully be an easy solution! I will definitely keep up with you all here!
Mamablue- those dollar tree tests are the same sensitivity as my IC, I think 20-25 units of hcg. So to see any progression at all...even gradual is good. If you look at mine you can barely see any progression until that last one at the end. And that is only because I waited 48 hours to do the last one. So don't lose hope. I understand that most women don't get the dark line until they are a day or two late for their period. I hope you get a nice line on your FRER. Hugs!!
Primaljoy- my heart ached reading your story about your loss after being pregnant at the same time as DH's best friends wife. That must be so painful to watch her progress and to have twins as well...it's like a double punch. I know that happened to my mom and her best friend when she got pregnant with me. They both were due around the same time and looked forward to being pregnant together. Well her bf lost the baby and she was devastated. It was really hard for her to even be there for my mom because it just reminded her of her loss. She ended up getting pregnant right around the time I was born. So they were able to reconnect and her daughter and I played together when we were growing up and became good friends. Well, sadly when she was 17 she was murdered, and of course that was completely devastating. So I know that my moms friend and I keep up on Facebook and she loves seeing pictures of my family, but it is again a painful reminder of where her daughter would be in life, had she not been killed. I don't know how to move past that pain...that would be consuming.
Sorry for the sad story but I just wanted to let you know that your feelings are completely validated....and I sincerely hope that you and DH conceive soon so that you can celebrate the new baby and put the pain of your loss behind you.
I am not out of the woods yet. I will feel better once I get farther along and can see the ultrasound. I think that's in a couple of weeks. I am going in today to have betas checked again to see if they're rising the way they're supposed to.
I have told DH and he is thrilled...but I am not telling anyone else (other than a couple of my close friends). I am going to keep it a secret from family and children as long as possible. Until I am through the first trimester preferably. Although my DD is a sleuth and she figures things out really quick. So once she knows, I might as well make an announcement on Good Morning America!! She can't keep a secret to save her life....lol.
I think she is going to be so excited, but DSD (15) and DSS(11) might not be so thrilled. I know DSD is getting ready for college and she has her heart set on this private school....which is ridiculously expensive. So this may put a damper on her chances of that. Plus she told me the other day that one of her mom's friends just found out she is pregnant and she is 45! (They struggled with infertility and needed help conceiving the children that they have) and now boom she is pregnant. DSD said "I was so shocked and I didn't know what to say! I was like gosh y'all are in your 40's!! What the heck??" So I think she is grossed out and can't imagine still having sex in your 40's...lol. And DSS just started middle school so recently had the talk about sex and where babies come from. He was very sheltered and naive...anyway I can just see him putting it all together. Lol......
At any rate we are excited and I am hopeful that the betas are going up and this bean sticks! :-)
Chourd - Interesting thoughts on progesterone. The yam cream sounds like a great idea. Have you always been a spotter before AF? Have you had an untrasound to rule out fibroids or polyps?
Primal - I am sorry you are having a rough time. It's totally natural to feel that grief. My SIL has had to go through a very similar experience twice. For her, the expectation of the upcoming labor and delivery and then hearing about the birth were the hardest. In one of the situations, she started to feel much, much better after she went to see the baby. In the other, the healing is taking some time, but that situation is a little more complex than just the baby.
Oxford - Lovely to hear from you! I have taken clomid. My oldest daughter was conceived during my fourth cycle taking it. I took it again when TTC my second baby, and it didn't result in pregnancy, but it turns out that I had a large undiagnosed uterine polyp that was very likely interfering with implantation. That's not clomid's fault. Clomid works for many people. It's worth a try!
Wengrin - I'm looking forward to hearing about you great beta numbers.
AFM - 14dpo. My dollar tree tests are still light, but I do think I'm seeing progress. The great news though is that my FRER was fabulous. Darker than the control line, even. I feel like I really do have a good chance at a sticky bean. Time to tell DH and go get a beta!
Oh Primal, You don't have to apologize for anything. We're here for you, no matter how you are feeling. It is no burden at all to support and listen to each other when we are feeling sad or happy or anything in-between. There is a quote from my favorite book, "Animal Dreams" by Barbra Kingslver where she says: "A miscarriage is a natural and common event. All told, probably more women have lost a child from this world than haven't. Most don't mention it, and they go on from day to day as if it hadn't happened, so people imagine a woman in this situation never really knew or loved what she had. But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she'll know." I always felt like that was a very profound quote. I hope you like it.
Wengrin, I'm excited to hear about more great betas! I am glad you are allowing yourself to feel excitement. I certainly am on your behalf! When I got pregnant with DS Clementine was 3 and she kept it a secret for months! It was awesome, I was very proud of her.
Chourd, how are you today? The cream sounds really interesting.
ETA: MamaBlue, that is so exciting!! Your DH will be thrilled! Feel free to post a picture of the FRER if you want to I'm so happy for you and so glad you are feeling positive about this little bub!
AFM - I really don't want to get my hopes up, so I'm trying not to symptom spot. I sometimes feel like my breasts are a little achy (but not definitely. I could be wrong), and I threw up a little in my mouth last night (??) but I wasn't feeling sick, I think it may have been because DS was sleeping on my lap and putting pressure on my stomach. I also have felt a little weepy, but with so much stress that really isn't surprising, and it is also one of those occasional PMS symptoms... doesn't always happen, but definitely does sometimes. Feeling very sad about the Typhoon and loss of life and what the survivors are going through now.
Mares- I hope your signs mean something is going on in there!! I agree- it is so sad to hear what happened to the people in the Phillipines. I can't imagine the devastation. It really puts things into perspective when you consider those that don't have food or shelter for their families. I try not to take for granted the little things, and this certainly helps bring all of the things we need to be grateful for to mind. I can't believe your sweet little Clementine kept that a secret!! My girl is a talker and she is very grown for her britches....she has the "I need to know everything" attitude and it drives me crazy but that's the way God made her. She can't stand to not know what is going on...but she already suspects. We got a new computer the other day and hubby mentioned to her that we were getting a surprise and she was like "WHAT A NEW BABY!!!" Lol....I am sure she sees the history when she gets on my iPhone or uses the iPad...I am always looking stuff up that is pregnancy related. So she is sniffing it out. :-)
Mares - hugs, it sounds like regardless of your outcome this month you are in for the hormonal emotional fun ride this month - vent as often as you need, we understand . I laughed at the threw up a little, I get that sometimes too.
Primal - you have my sympathy and I feel your pain... One of my best friends is due in a week or two, she told me she was pregnant and I had my painful April early loss a few days after... Don't feel bad it's really nothing to do with them - just our own frustration (but I know you know that) all we can do us allow ourselves the time to heal, and or get pg to recover. Dh used to suffer (before I was well enough to try) whenever someone announced a pg as I'd be miserable for a week - to me it was a reminder that time was rolling and didn't let me on the train. I hope you find something fabulous to do on your 'expected' due date to help you through.
Wengrin - omg that is one dark hpt! Totally awesome, I'm glad dh is happy and am hoping very soon you can just enjoy xxx
Very glad to hear you'll be with us for a while . Re me, I'm not young in baby years lol (39) also although I had a scan 3-5 years ago when I had strong abdominal pain (small normal cyst is all) I haven't recently... I have been doing the natural stuff and checking with my family doc - she said not to worry about IF testing for a while (although almost there lol) I don't feel we have too much trouble getting pg, I just feel holding it is my issue... I'll try this cream for a month and then get tests if no joy...
Oxford - great to hear you are doing ok with your 'break' month.... I'm so excited for you on your new protocol, I think the ladies are right it's probably possible to have a mild case - so hopefully the drugs will make you super fertile - that's the real super hero don't you know
Mama blue - I'm with mares, please can we see the super strength frer? I'm so happy for you that this looks so strong... I hope dh is as excited as you re my spotting - as long as I can remember ,except when on BC) I never used to check when it was due so it was like a friendly reminder...
Sorry for anything I missed.
My AF is very weird, only one day of flow (and that was only when I went to the loo (tmi sorry) back to barely spotting... Also temps are still dancing around lol... Bring on the cream!
Re migraines - they used to be daily, but now they are mainly around AF - although I generally have none the first half if a cycle and lots of annoying headaches the second half - lol it's taken me a while to realize... That added to the spotting and severe moodiness all point to progesterone to me... Although its in pc at least I know I can hold a pg from my way earlier termination... I can't remember who mentioned the twitchy cervix - but that was where all my aching was this time around - its still a little tender now... So that fits with the closing and then opening... Lol I think this month we'll do another home iui just to ensure a good shot...
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