I noticed my cervix is pointed down and more open now. I had the same feeling, that I was getting ready to miscarry. I have been so sick today so missed my dose of progesterone this afternoon and by the time we got home and showered I realized it had been all day. I hope I didn't cause it to happen. My boobs have felt so flappy and empty...that's another red flag. They're normally full and heavy with pregnancy. I don't know....
Sorry you got a BFN Chuord...maybe just too early? I never get positives until at least 11 dpo. I know some do earlier. Good for you- keeping your positive zen attitude. You really are the zen poster child of the month. ;-)
SCJP yes that is a symptom I believe. Mine always used to get itchy and strange feeling.
I may call the doctor's office tomorrow. I am a little worried what my charge will be. I know with a pregnancy they charge you 20% of the estimated bill. I pay it up front and then everything is covered except any additional charge like a c-section. So anyway I wonder if I miscarry how they'll bill me. I have no idea how much an u/s would be, but I imagine not cheap. (Sigh)
We have eaten out every day this weekend. I must gather the strength and stomach to go grocery shopping and actually buy some food. I have just been picking up milk, cereal, snacks for the kids, etc. Every time I look at food my stomach turns. I wish those symptoms were a positive pregnancy sign but unfortunately I think it is just a side effect of the progesterone supplements.
I hope everyone has had a good weekend. :-)
Mamablue - I am so sorry for this stress! I'm really hoping that all is well tomorrow. I had some bright red bleeding with DS #1 (and virtually no nausea/heartburn), but he was fine. It was so scary though, particularly coming right after my first loss. Please feel free to vent/process/discuss however is helpful for you here. Thinking of you!
Wengrin -- If you're having your u/s at a hospital, check out their charity care program. The income limits are more flexible than you'd think; it has saved us in the past. They won't advertise this to you, but there should be info on it if you search their website.
Looking forward to your results mama blue - my gut is that all is well... Hugs on the stress
Wengrin - hugs, you are in an awful place right now, I'm hoping so much you get both resolution and a desire to eat - I can't think of a worse combo! You are a Trojan!
Primal - you being so amazingly useful and supportive to us all - hoping you are traveling well? How long till you're ultra sound?
Faith what about you?
Oxford did you get cross hairs? If so what dpo?
I don't know if it's the hormones but I've been totally freaking out. I wish I had morning sickness or at least as many symptoms as I felt yesterday. I just have mostly period-ish cramping and sore breasts. I wish I had seen this worrying coming. I didn't realize I could be MORE anxiously obsessed! I've cried over this alone (sobbed really, and other things have hit me too) at least six times in the past two days. oy
Faith, maybe you would be able to borrow a air conditioner from someone during that time? Or get one on Craigslist! If you do it before it gets hot you could get a good deal. Women have home births in apartments, so you could definitely do it if you wanted. Have you seen "Call the Midwife"? It used to be totally normal to hear neighbor's birth song :) Is this your first? You may not be a loud laborer, either. I barely made any noise with my daughter and hummed "Sweet Baby James" with my son, but that was about all as far as noise goes. There was a woman giving birth below me who was much louder!
Chourd, still early for a BFP! Mine was barely there at 10 DPO. Barely. Still, I know it can be discouraging to get the one line. How are you feeling?
(Ugh the batteries on my keyboard are dying and making it very hard to type)
MamaBlue, I am so sorry for the stress you are experiencing. I agree about what others have said as far as every pregnancy being different. I was so worried with DS because I didn't throw up much, whereas with DD I threw up every morning. Fingers crossed it is a hematoma, as you said. Are you checking tomorrow?
Wengrin, sending lots of love and light your way. I wish I knew something better to say, I just can't imagine how you feel right now. Being so sick, possibly from the progesterone, just adds to the anguish and unsure feeling, I'm sure. I hope you have (good) news soon. I know it can be hard to keep hope alive... I felt so disconnected from DS during the weeks I was waiting for the ultrasound to check and see if he was okay. I even thought about selling the car seat I had bought for him. It's hellish. I wish things were different for you right now.
AFM, with the health concerns I feel bad complaining about anything, but I've just been so depressed. There's almost nothing on the market house wise right now. I hate living apart from DH, in this weird in-between land. I miss having a real kitchen and space. I have no motivation to get up or go out during the day. I've stayed in my pjs all day a few days, which is not like me at all. It's difficult with Malcolm right now, both his behavior and the fact that I would really like to work on night weaning, possibly moving him to his own bed, potty training... but I don't feel like it's a good idea when things are in such upheaval. I think it would just be setting him up for frustration and failure. And there's just no end in sight right now. So yeah, feeling looooow down. I don't want to waste the time writing it all out, but living with my mom is not great for me mental health wise(although there can be some very nice aspects) or DD. It becomes this weird thing where she's always up there and I feel like I've lost her, essentially. Boundaries are an issue.
Womb-fruit related, I was 7 weeks on Saturday and baby is the size of a blueberry, apparently. I'm feeling tired and sick, but not too bad. My skin is a mess. I get cravings and then hate the food after one bite. First appointment on the 16th. I'm going to call tomorrow, though, so I can get a referral to schedule the Harmony Screening and first Ultrasound. I am hoping to hold off on telling DD until we know the gender, which the Harmony Screening will tell us.
Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
Maybe the air conditioner could work for the home birth! Someone gave us a window one that sits on the floor and really works really well. I had totally forgotten about it. Thanks for the suggestion!
Mamablue- hang in there my love. Keep breathing deeply. That little one is a fighter! When is your scan? We are here for you
Wengrin- how are you doing? Have you decided to wait until your next scan or go in early? I don't know how you are holding your sanity. Get as much help as you can and don't put pressure on yourself. This uncertainty is going to be the hardest time possible, so be gentle, let go if domestic stuff and be kind to yourself x
Chuord- sorry to hear about your bfn, it's still so early though, maybe implantation is still happening. Hang in there until AF is due and you may get some good news. If not, you have got the cavalry arriving to tell you what is going on! On the blood tests- LH, FSH, androgens, estrodiol, adrenal, pituitary and most important - an ultrasound. They can tell so much from that. They may want you to do a dye test too.
Mares- sorry things are so down for you. Are you still in close touch with DH? Can you plan treats with him so that you have something to look forward to? Little phone chats during the day? Picture messages? Old fashioned love letters through the mail? Get creative to occupy your mind and full that space next to you. On DS, can you pick one little project to work on together, weaning or potty training? He might like the one to one attention and feeling grown up. Wengrin went through this with her little DS so might be able to give you some top tips.
Faith- hang in there! Those crazy hormones are tossing you all around. Just keep that little baby in mind :-)
Afm- I am 5dpo. I think my o was on day 12- earliest ever. I hope the drugs are rebalancing things and this is a good sign like it was for Mamablue :-) I have been reading so much about the metabolic pathway for our ovaries and it is so finely balanced. I am eating all the right things and supplementing like mad. I just hope all this helps. If I don't get pregnant this month, it is clomid and follicle tracking. Anyone any experience with clomid? I read so many mixed reviews (damn professor google!).
Hang in there ladies. I'm sending out calm vibes to us all today. It feels like our little group is in a tough unsure place. Let's stick together and we'll all get through it.
Extra baby dust!
I think your suggestions to everyone are fantastic... Mares see what you can do with the one on one communication with dh, I love letters lol.
Oxford re the diet etc - so much work right?! I've stopped most dairy, wheat and yeast... Am trying to eat only hormone free meat... The dairy I eat is organic... Lol and when I can't be bothered to cook dh suggests take out... To which I reply - I can't nothing works!
The things we do right oh and cutting out more sugar after the high AMH I lost a kg last week... All so strange this journey! But you gotta love it!
Mama blue mentioned before about her love affair with clomid and how fab it was - she's your lady!
I agree wishing everyone a happy healing day today... I look forward to waking up to the chats
Fx mama blue! Can't wait to hear the results and to know baby is ok.
Mamablue I hope you get some good news today or whenever you go for your scan!
Thanks, Primal- I will check the hospitals website and see if we would qualify.
Mares, poor thing. I know this must be completely depressing. The "no end in sight" is the worst. That's the worst. I know when I had to stay with my parents it was not fun. Once you've lived your own separate life it is impossible to mesh your lives again. Especially with 2 children of your own. I know what you mean about the struggles with DS...it is so hard when they still need so much from you (nursing, diapering etc) and you have this new life draining your energy. I had success night weaning first...then about 3 months later we talked up saying bye-bye to nursies and getting him a big boy (transition) toy. So one Friday on a long holiday weekend I took him to the store and we picked out his toy....and from that day on we promised no nursies....nurses went bye bye. So he asked a few times and we would just remind him. It really wasn't that bad at all. So he was obviously ready. Now potty training is still on my list...I haven't had success with that. I know the smell of it makes me want to vomit...even his wet diapers. I really hope that a house comes available for you guys soon. You need DH's support to tackle these issues.
Faith- you're going through the same hormonal ups and downs that we all went trhough. It is such a rollercoaster...
Good luck with your GP appt, Chuord. Hopefully you'll get a positive in the next few days. You're still really early....:-)
Chourd - There's still time for a positive test this cycle, but if it eludes you this time, you have a solid plan in place for the future. I am so happy to see things moving the the right direction for you and Oxford. Good things are coming your way, I am sure.
Faith - You're right on schedule for your worries. I think all of us mamas struggled around the 5/6 week mark. Be patient with yourself and find a good distraction, and the time will pass quicker. I picked up my knitting again. The more worry I have, the quicker I knit. As far as food goes, we live in San Diego, in the middle of a huge Iraqi population, and so we eat middle eastern food a lot. Anyway, my kids want me to pick up schwarma for them and I can't do it. The thought of meat being cut off that round thingy makes me want to hurl. lol. My husband is going to have to pick it up when I'm not around to see or smell it. Are there any foods that make you want to run the other way?
Oxford - Your words are always the right thing and the right time. Thank you. It sounds like your decision to adjust to metformin before starting Clomid was very wise. Clomid can bring on some lovely side effects like mood swings, hot flashes, and tireness, but you usually only have to take it for 5 days. Five days isn't too bad. Plus, you may not have any side effects at all. Mine were largely unnoticeable. Clomid's been around for years, and for good reason. It does it's job well.
Primal - How is your daughter doing? Is her tummy back to normal?
Wengrin - Are you going in for a scan? You are very much on my mind.
AFM - I had a scan this morning. My doctor was kind enough to squeeze me in before he headed off to an unexpected surgery. All is well with the baby. It looks like my placenta is setting up shop along the side of my uterus and an edge of it was getting too close to my cervix. So it bled some. My doctor said that there's no hematoma and that the placenta will be fine. I cannot tell you what a relief that is. I feel like a gorilla just climbed off my back, and I dodged a bullet at the same time. Thank you all so much for your positive thoughts, they really helped me to cope with the uncertainty I was feeling. Also, my SIL texted me a picture of her BFP this morning. I'm so happy for her. She's has had 3 losses (1 in the second trimester) since her last successful pregnancy, and I so desperately hope this is her take home baby. Her husband is a carrier for T13, so she has a stressful few weeks ahead of her until her Materni21 testing. I wish I had the power to guarantee her good outcome.
Mamablue, I am so happy to hear good news from you! I've been checking in here all day (from work!) waiting for your update. I'm so glad your babe is okay.
And to answer your question before I forget, yes, DD is fine. Just a fluke thing that night. Toddler tummies are so funny, in my experience. She probably drank too much milk too fast.
Mares - just keep remembering that although you don't have as much time to 'hang out' with us we are all on your side and sending you love and support... I hope that knowledge helps when you are feeling worst... And as mama blue says here's to that bit of pg being over!
Wengrin - you are awesome! To have time to support us all while you are struggling yourself - magical momma! I so so hope the hospital will take you for that scan... Thanks for your kind words to me, I am still extremely hopeful, and will now wait to test... AF is due Friday or Saturday.... Hmmm maybe I'll risk a Thursday test lol...
Primal - I'm so glad we are staying in one group, thanks for being our zen anchor this last week lol and apologies up front - birth really terrifies me (I hate lack of control with medical stuff) so I'm sure I will need your advice and nursing support when I hit nutso lol.
Oxford - after all this time we are still chart linked through ff! So I stalked yesterday - looking good so far!
Good night everyone...been so, so sick today. Hubby took DD to cheer practice so I am going to rest with DS.
Yay Mamablue! I'm so pleased that your scan showed everything is fine. Pesky placenta giving you all that worry! I hope you can sit back and relax a bit now and enjoy that little one growing nicely. :-)
Chuord- you are so nearly there! Looking forward to hearing your testing results at the end of the week. Fingers crossed you'll be joining the girls.
Wengrin- sorry to hear you are feeling so sick. I'm not very experienced in all this, but couldn't that be a good sign if your hormones are soaring? I hope you enjoyed resting with cutie DS. What has he been doing lately? I love hearing your stories about him :-)
Afm it's 6dpo. My chart has been much more settled since I started on the drugs. It used to bounce all over the place, so it's nice to be a bit more consistent. I'm hoping that mean my hormones are starting to balance. My chart is still climbing after o. I will post the link. Chuord- thanks for looking in and for your encouragement!
I have a question about the birds and the bees! My consultant said that chatting was a waste of time and not to bother, that is the official advice in the UK. He says that your body can kick out an egg whenever it wants so I'm better bd-ing 2-3 times a week and not trying to time it. Also with pcos I'm not sure I'm regularly ovulating. However- my chart does show a really clear thermal shift and I still like to see what's going on. Do you think I can assume I've ovulated because of my temp shift? My CM has dried up or creamy (sorry tmi) so I think the show is over for this month.
Re your o question, I think I have to defer to the ladies that know... I have heard that before about spontaneous egg release... But surely the temp rise is a definite sign?
I think 3 days of temp rise over your cover line (.3 degrees if you use farenheight, I guess it is different for Celsius) would be a good indicator that you releases the egg. I can't be sure though...probably best to still BD every other day for a week? I know it gets a little tiring. It is tough to find the drive to BD that much, especially when it's not spontaneous.
I am having a rough time with DD. She has been getting into trouble at school and also at home. She is very difficult. I have to be very firm with her because she will try to manipulate things. So anyway she has been uncooperative and in order for me to get her to do anything I have to stand over her and make sure she does it. She got in trouble at school yesterday and got 3 bad marks. Anyway I wonder if she is stressed because of the pregnancy. She knows that I am/was pregnant but I haven't told her about the recent worries. I am sure she can sense it though. Plus I have been so incredibly sick she must feel unsettled because of that. It is driving me bonkers though. I won't tolerate her making poor choices and cutting up in class, and then allow her to be on the cheer/tumbling team. It is expensive and very time consuming. She has to make good grades and her behavior had better turn around or I am going to have to pull her off the team. I am so frustrated with her. This morning I told her to get ready and be downstairs in 5 minutes and she just dragged her feet. So I let her miss her ride (I knew that would upset her because she loves riding with this friend) and then I had to drive her. Hopefully that will get her attention...I am not going to stand over her at 9 years old making sure she stays on track. Ugh so frustrating.
I am still unsure of whether I will call the doctor to see if they can do a scan today. I don't know....maybe I should just wait another week. I don't know.
Also Oxford yes normally this would be a good sign, the nausea, but the progesterone causes extreme nausea. So I am using that 3x a day. I feel like that is what is making it so bad. They want me to stay on it another 2 weeks unless we find that there is no heartbeat...
Hope everyone is doing well. :-)
Wengrin - I'd go in for an ultrasound. Not knowing is the worst. A week is plenty long to wait.
Wengrin- I don't think I'm qualified to give you advice about dd! I don't have any children and my sd is off the rails and driving me insane. So, I will just give an observation and see if it makes any sense! I notice from your description that you are dealing with all this bad behaviour (good for you, I wish someone would have given boundaries to my sd!). Although when she is misbehaving, she is getting your undivided attention (driving her to school, standing over her). I wonder if she is issuing bad behaviour instead of good to get your attention. Could you remove attention when she misbehaves and use time together when she does something right? If you cancelled time together for bad school grades it may send a sharp signal.
Euh I feel so unqualified for all this so please ignore I that is really unpractical!!
Hi Mamablue- I'm sensing your restored calm and it makes me smile :-)
Oxford you are exactly right about DD feeding off of the negative attention that she gets when she misbehaves. I have noticed it in the past as well as her teachers. When DS was born she acted out that way and would try to get in trouble even though it was negative attention, she enjoyed it. So I do agree that finding a way to extinguish the poor behavior by not reacting when she gets in trouble and just calmly issuing a consequence would be ideal. Then if she behaves I am supposed to shower her with attention. It is counter-intuitive though and takes a lot of thought. It is our nature to react when things go wrong...I need to mentally prepare myself though and know ahead of time the game she is playing. There is a good parenting book about this type of thing "The Nurtured Heart Approach"...I need to dig that out and put those practices to use. You have great wisdom Oxford, and you're going to make an excellent mom! Your SD is fortunate to have you in her life, even if she doesn't appreciate it right now. Kids (of all ages) need boundaries and discipline...they crave it, even though most don't realize it.
Hope everyone is doing well. I'll check in and write more later. :-)
I've not much to say today, but all is quiet so I thought I'd put my voice in the space!!!
Wengrin- you are such a sage. Something you said about all kids needing boundaries has set me off thinking about my sd and her insatiable need for money. Bit my boundaries to place unfortunately, but so true.
How are you feeling now? Have you arranged a scan yet? You are doing so well at holding your patience. Big hugs.
Baby dust to everyone else
Nearly Christmas!! New year must bring us a new BFP ;-)
Thanks for the welcome. Like I said, we just started trying this cycle. I got a positive blood test today but still negative on the HPTs. I can't believe it. I'm on cycle day 32 and have been averaging 28 days. I had this endocrinologist appointment yesterday to check my thyroid and hormonal stuff, since we are TTC and I have a history of PCOS. Well the Dr said yesterday that IF I am pregnant, I'll need to start a thyroid med immediately due to the risk of miscarriage. Oh, great. So I'm waiting to hear back what the "level" of my HCG is and I have to do a repeat blood test tomorrow. Can this be real?
You too, scjp! I've never been pregnant before so I'm pretty freaked out with all the unknowns. Ever since I (think I) ovulated this cycle, I've had strange brief dizzy spells that make me a little nauseous. That's the only difference I have noticed. Are you symptom stalking?
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