Congrats Mamablue!!! Whew- great news! I have mine on Monday. A little nervous about it. I know this sounds silly but in my past pregnancies my bb's were much more tender and just different. Even the coloring of my areola was darker (sorry tmi) but I'm not noticing it this time. I definitely still have ALL the other symptoms (nausea, extreme fatigue, bloating etc). I know we are trying to keep our same over here....it is not very zen of me to obsess over my boobs (ha). Anyway I'm sure everything is fine. I know "every pregnancy is different...." I will be happy to see a little round bub on the sonogram like yours, Mamablue.
Welcome Chrissy!! Glad you are here!
Oxford- I am sure you are on a roller coaster of emotions. One day you probably feel incredibly hopeful and renewed, then the next you fall apart and feel hopeless. I know that's how I process huge life changes. My Mom was diagnosed w/ breast cancer that had spread to 9 of her lymph nodes (not good) 5 years ago. She went through aggressive chemo and then radiation...during the initial period and then on and off throughout she (and I) went through similar ups and downs. It's like your mind wants to be positive but then the nagging doubt and worry takes over and you feel that sinking pit in your stomach. I think it is a natural grieving/adjustment process. Part of the "wrapping your brain around this huge new thing." Anyway she is fine- she had a brain tumor (which also seemed like that was the final straw) when I was pregnant with DS 3 years ago, and she had the gamma knife radiation and is again in remission. She is here now...with my dad and brother. They arrived this evening for Thanksgiving. (Sorry I don't mean to at all compare your situation to something morbid like cancer, but I sort of relate to the shocking news and the diagnosis...and then the denial, anger, sadness, feeling like you've accepted and can move forward positively, then back into the other stages). I am pretty intuitive.... not sure why but I tend to have a 6th sense about things. I have dreamed of several big things before they happened in my life....which is pretty scary because of course I have nightmares all the time that never come to fruition. But I have always just been very intuitive...not like a psychic or anything. I just for some reason have a good feeling that starting the meds and possibly moving to Clomid or the lap is going to be just what you need to move forward. Maybe I am wishful thinking, but I don't think so. I totally expect for you to pop in here with great news soon. Who knows....either way we are here for you and please don't be afraid to share your negative hopeless feelings because you're going to have those days. It is part of the healing process. If you stuff it down and pretend like it's not there, that's when you get stuck. So vent away Love.
Also about Thanksgiving yes it is just like you see on TV I'm sure. Tons of food...enough to feed 30 people but rarely does anyone host 30 people. A 15 pound turkey we roast in the oven, smoked ham, mashed potatoes, etc. We get so stuffed that no one can do much after eating so we park on the couch and watch football. We usually have 2-3 desserts. It is really a gluttonous feast! So good. The tradition is to give thanks for all of the things we have to be grateful for, and it goes back to when we came over from England (and other countries...I just happen to be mostly English) and didn't know the land or how to grow crops and farming over here, so some of the Native American Indians welcomed the settlers and created a friendship and showed them how to grow corn, wheat, the different ways to live off the land here. I know that many Indians were also killed and had their land taken from them, so it's sort of a touchy subject. But for the group that welcomed the settlers and there was peace between them- they started the tradition of the Thanksgiving Feast. (I may need to look in my history books to confirm the accuracy of that...I am going by memory of what we learned in high school 20 years ago!
For us it also officially begins "The Holidays" so Christmas in on the horizon, we decorate with lights this week and put our Christmas Tree up. The kids get really excited. Good stuff.
So yes we will be preparing a lot of food tomorrow and then the real feast begins Thursday afternoon. I am going to try and avoid the in-laws. Thanks also for understanding my plight. Can you believe they would even have the nerve to suggest a vasectomy to DH?!?! They are really rude people. I think they were raised that way and don't know any better. They're a very whispery and gossipy group. It makes me uncomfortable but we only see them 3-4 times per year. Thankfully they are pretty uninvolved....hubby has a sister who is my age, and they completely coddle and spoil her and her kids rotten. She literally lives nextdoor to them so the grandparents keep her kids all the time. And those 2 grandchildren get the best of everything. It really is sort of pathetic the way they carry on....I just try to smile and be polite and make conversation but I can't wait for it to be over. It is sad......
Also ladies yes the IMAX was torture. If I didn't love my sweet DD so much....I think I would have just said sorry can't make this one! But to give you a little history (sorry this is kinda long!) - I also feel a lot of guilt because it was just her and I for 3 years while I was divorced and we had our own little routine. Then along came the man who would be hubby and we fell in love...she fell in love with him too (still adores him) but is also a bit jealous and now that we have DS, plus step-siblings, our life is much different. So much better in so many ways...but she reminisces about it being just us, living in the tiny condo(flat) and she had me all to herself. We were very close. Once I got remarried and then Pregnant, I think reality set in and she realized this wasn't going to be the fun scenario she had imagined. So she tried to regress a bit in kindergarten thru 2nd grade and really started to give myself and her teachers a bit if a struggle. So that has created some distance obviously. But I have been taking her to a counselor who is really, really good. Brooke loves her. She has helped immensely. Just having an outlet to get the feelings out and not be judged has helped her a lot.
So she is doing much better now and we are working on rekindling that closeness that we had for so long. Part of it I think every parent loses as their child grows....but some of the changes in our life has set her back and made it difficult to figure out her place in our new family. I think we have made huge progress compared to only a year ago. She is much better adjusted now. So- I try to carve out "Mommy-Brookey time" without DS or any other distractions, as my has possible. I usually do 1 or 2 field trips with her school, then I go to her class events when I can....just to give her some "me time" that I know she desperately needs. So at IMAX with the extreme sights, sounds, visual overload....and along with my pounding head and 150 third-graders all sugared up and running around like maniacs that had been let out of their cages for a day ( haha) it was tolerable. I did it for my sweet DD because I know what times like these mean to her. She saw how sick I was when we were leaving. There was only one stall so she got to view me blow my cookies in the ladies room....I hope she understands that I would sacrifice almost anything for her. Hopefully she will look back and remember that I did these things with her. I think she will. She is very wise beyond her years and thinks like a mature adult at times, which is terrifying. But I love her so much and just want to lay the groundwork for her to grow up with good self esteem and self image and know that I will always be here for her! And I want her to feel very valued and unconditionally loved...so that she doesn't seek attention from men as she grows into adolescence. That's one of my biggest fears. She craves my attention and I do my best to give it to her, but we have 6 people in the house at times. Gone are the days of just her and I...eating mint choc chip ice-cream out of the container and watching our favorite movies....even though we still try to do that every now and then while the boys go do their own thing. We make it work. But she really enjoys showing her mom off to her classmates. We are still "cool" at this point. There will be a day when she will be embarrassed for me to come around! Lol...so I toughed it out Monday, for my girl.
Chuord- I hope you are enjoying the reunited BD....I think that's always the best!! Hope you are having a great week.
I really love the feel of the new thread! You ladies are amazing support!!
Take care and hugs to all xx