Hello all and welcome!
The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. Over time, many of those TTC among us have been successful, but neither us nor them are ready to say good bye to this Saner Sisterhood. For that reason, we've expanded this description to include both those currently TTC as well as the graduates in the group.
Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.
We also seek to approach our pregnancies with the same holistic calm, knowing that both growing a baby and being a woman are complex experiences that deserve our humility and reflection. As our babies grow into this world, we seek to hold the space for them within ourselves and the world around us, to make our spirits ready as our bodies are made ready.
We also remember that there is much to life outside our efforts toward procreation, and we enjoy sharing all of our journeys with those who share the space with us here.
We hope you'll join us.
Oxford - I think your husband and you are smart to give the metformin a head start before you fire up your ovaries with Clomid. You're headed towards week 2 of your cycle, yes? That's the fun week. Woot!
Chourd - Whereabouts are you in your cycle? Any blood draws to measure hormones on the horizon?
Primal - I saw your pretty BFP. What CD was that? It's a stunner.
AFM - Today I am 6 weeks, and tomorrow is my first ultrasound. I'm excited and so, so nervous. I've been thinking a lot about what I will see at my appt. I'm thinking one little bean. I know I had 2-3 fat follies, but I'm thinking only one took. That's my guess anyway. Oh, and I think I have a big corpus luteal cyst on my right ovary. Maybe another on my left. Just please, please no ectopics. Please.
Thank you for starting the new thread, Primal! The intro is lovely. I am also really happy with the choice to have a TTC and Graduates thread. I'm really glad I get to keep in the circle with you ladies.
Wengrin - I hate to say it, but if you don't really, really want a dog please don't get one. As much joy as dogs can bring, they are so much work. If they don't hold a real place in your heart it is so hard to put up with them. I adore my dog, Lady, but she is the first dog I've known (out of many) that I truly respect and enjoy. Especially with getting ready to add someone new to the family :) Dogs and kids can be great, but it is also not an easy situation. Especially small dogs, as they can be more prone to being timid and snapping at kids. Of course big dogs tend to knock kids over, even the nice ones. Personally, I like cats. But that was probably obvious.
Oxford - I am so excited for you! The good things coming to you are so close they're almost palpable.
Chourd - Is DH home yet? I hope you were able to catch that O!
Primal - Look at that BFP! That sure is a pretty one. So exciting! When is your EDD? Any appointments on the horizon?
MamaBlue - So exciting! I can't wait for an ultrasound. I usually try and get one around 9 or 10 weeks. How are you feeling? I think there are usually symptoms for an ectopic, right? Post pictures of your ultrasound if you feel up to it!
AFM - Thank you so much for all the love, ladies. It means the world to me to have such thoughtful women keeping me in their thoughts during this transition. We are settling into my mom's. I have my car and internet, and DH was here this past weekend and will be home late Thursday for Thanksgiving. Then we will go up to Washington on Saturday to look at a few houses. So kind of exciting, although we don't have the down payment saved, so I'm not really sure how that kind of thing works. We're preapproved for a loan... I really don't know. Malcolm has croup, which is a bit tough. I hate seeing him sick and he's wanting to nurse sooooo much.
Pregnancy wise, feeling good. I haven't told anyone in my family yet (other than DH of course) and don't feel like it yet. I am definitely feeling some symptoms - very hungry, a bit queasy (I figure that will kick in full force next week), a bit emotional, tired. High sex drive, which is inconvient with DH gone. And some discomfort with ligaments and my stomach muscles. And some cravings - mostly starbucks egg and ham breakfast sandwhiches. Although that doesn't sound very good right now. So it's all exciting! I love any symptom. I'm 5 weeks 2 days. Looking forward to getting a bit farther into it. I have a very strong feeling that we've got a girly in the works. I had a strong intuition with both my others (and was right), so we'll see. I am hoping to get the Harmony Screening and find out.
Pictures of me with DH this past year. I miss that handsome face.
Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
Mamablue - I'm really glad you now feel more comfortable chatting, I missed the info lol fingers crossed for you with your ultrasound, I'm sure it will all go well - your betas have been nice and high and I've heard low betas are more common with ectopics (lol can't remember where though)
Chrissy - great to see you on here, I'm hoping you are part of the regulars how's things?
Mares - you've been coping soo well, I'm glad you are getting to spend some time with dh... Hope ds recovers soon!
Dh did get home and on time... I think I am due ovulation on Thursday or Friday, only faint opk's so far (lol I'm regressing for this month) and dh has been offered next weekend to work as well... So I gave till Friday morning to gather all I need
Ladies- thanks SO much for your thoughts and advice about the dog. I completely agree about everything....it is rotten that they are trying to give their doggie up. She seems very happy with them, and I'm sure she would be devastated and probably have some adjustment issues (maybe lots of them). Also WTF why would you give away your dog that is almost blind and not at least tell the person first about the cataracts...also found out she hasn't had shot in a long time because she is an "indoor dog". I know people who have done the same thing (stupidly) and in this Florida climate we have awful Mosquitos and dogs get heart worms...which is fatal unless they have surgery. Also she hasn't been spayed. I see a thousand dollars of vet bills in the near horizon for her. And with a new baby and 4 other children...I think it would be terribly unwise to take on. Also I totally agree with several of you who said that taking on a dog/pet is a lifetime commitment and I wouldn't want to do it unless my heart was in it 100%...which it is clearly not or I wouldn't have posted looking for advice...so this morning I called my friend/hairstylist and let her know. She understood. I felt like telling her she needs to step up and get the poor little girl her shots and a clean bill of health before passing that on to the next person.
Thanks so much for taking the time to help me out with your kind suggestions. Whew! I feel better having made that decision. I hope someone with a big heart and a big checkbook adopts her and can take care of her...get her cataracts fixed through surgery, etc.
Mares- your hubby is so handsome!!! You are a beautiful girl and make such an adorable couple. Hang in there- you'll be back together soon. Good luck house hunting. We had to put a binder down once we wrote a contract (in Florida) but it is usually $1000-2500..,here at least. Unless you look at new construction and it was a lot more. Best of luck to you hon...Also poor Malcolm! My kids get croup and it is awful. There is not much you can do and they sound so miserable! Hugs!
We are going through freezing temps and then 80's....of course the 80's are nice, but I like it to sort of maintain some kind of consistent pattern. Also preparing for hosting Thanksgiving on Thursday. We should have about 16-17 people. I am not ready to tell anyone...not even my mom. I will explain why later...also my in-laws are a bit rude and even offered to pay for a vasectomy for DH when we had DS 2 years ago. I have a hard time being nice to them but I just suck it up and smile for my hubby and the kids. Bleh.....I plan to tell them I have a migraine. I hate to lie, but it is something I am prepared to do. I want to wait until I am through the first 13 weeks before telling everyone.
I went as a chaperone on DD's 3rd grade field trip this morning. It was a 3-D IMAX movie....really cool but I had a horrendous migraine in addition to the overall nausea and malaise from early pregnancy. I got through it though and we really enjoyed it. The first show was about the Monarch butterfly. It was a really cool story about a couple that dedicated their lives to tracking their migration. Very sweet story. And the IMAX 3-D makes the butterflies circle all around you...the kids were all reaching up trying to grab them as they flew by. It was cute. It really did look like they were flying around the theatre. Then the next one was about the Great White shark....SO cool. However 3-D and migraines are not a good combo. I vomited as soon as I left. Thankfully DD knew that I am pregnant so she understood as she stood in the 1 stall bathroom and watched me get sick. So it is a good thing I told her! (For many reasons).
Oxford glad you are doing well!! I am thinking about you!
SCJP- good luck! Hope you can find out soon if this month turned out positive!!
MamaBlue -- First ultrasound! How exciting/nerve-wracking. I'm putting my money on one healthy bean, and no ectopics. Will it be far enough for a HB? It's good to be hearing from you again!
Chuord -- It sounds like your timing might be just perfect. Have you identified a time of the day that you get the best results from your OPKs? I never quite got the hang of mine; I think I always surged at a time of day I wasn't testing.
Mare -- you and your family are so cute it kills me. :-)
AFM, I had a good recommendation for the OB group out of our local university hospital (where I delivered DD), so I called today to set up an appointment. The practice nurse is going to call me next Tuesday to take a phone history, and I guess we'll go from there. I really feel kind of frozen and unsure about how to proceed with this pregnancy medically, but this is at least a first step.
I had a difficult night sleep-wise. The med change combined with hormone changes are giving me nightmares; I was awake from about four a.m. on. I've decided to resume my regular dose, since it's been a few nights and things aren't getting better, and talk to my doctor about it when I get an appointment.
Thanks for all the affirmation for my BFP. I took it this morning, 17 dpo. I took one yesterday afternoon, and it was much lighter. Who knows what the rhyme and reason is to all this? I think, now that I got a good dark one, I'm not going to press my luck and test any more.
What else is everyone up to? I have about three weeks of school left this semester, and I'm really having to scrape the bottom of the barrel to get motivated. I'm registered for classes next semester, too, and hoping I'll get a second wind for it after the break.
Wengrin -- I find IMAX overwhelming under the best of circumstances. You must really like your kids! :-) Also, good call on the dog. It's doubly heartbreaking when someone is trying to rehome a dog that they haven't been caring for adequately for a long time. As far as dogs in general, I like mine a lot, but this really is the first time in my life that I feel I could have handled the commitment. I think it helped to have a good idea of what our situaiton would be for a while; I would wait until things are more settled so you can better know if it will fit into your life. But I do think dogs are great!
Wengrin- in so pleased about your decision with the dog. I adore dogs and grew up with one, they are marvellous companions and require so much love and care. Just the thought of juggling the walks and exercise while you are heavily pregnant and then nursing a small one, it sounds like a lot. I am sure your kids will enjoy pushing the new baby round the block and playing with him/her! Great call!
I can't believe what your IL's said about DH and vasectomy!! Shocking!!! How rude!! You are very patient. I hope you manage to avoid your thanks giving.
So for an English girl, tell me about your thanksgiving. That's the one where you acknowledge how grateful you are for your blessings? Is it the one where traditionally you eat turkey with family? Or have I seen that in a film?!
Mamablue- how did the ultra sound go? I know you will feel so much better when you have seen the little one(s)!
Primal- textbook BFP!!
Mares- great photos! DH is a cutie!
Chuord- glad DH made it back through the storm. There's nothing like reunited sex, there's got to be a baby around!
Afm- I'm stuck under a grey cloud today. I feel a bit hopeless, as in no hope, about getting pregnant. All this talk about polycystic ovaries and reading up about it makes me feel deeply unattractive and defective. I just wanted everything to work and to have a baby with my adorable DH. :-(
Sorry my cloud is dark tonight.
Think I will have an early night and start afresh tomorrow.
Night all! X
Hi. My name is Chrissy and I would like to join you if possible. I've been reading along on the other thread for awhile now. We're not really ttc'ing but af is missing. She's been gone for almost 14 days. At day 9 I had a beta and was told it's negative but nurse asked if home test is positive and I said no because it's not. Haven't testing in days and have appointment for 12/4 unless af shows. Stupidly am testing tomorrow (14 days late on the nose) just so I can keep scratching my head. lol
Me - 40 - mthfr c677t and multiple unknown caused m/c's
DH - 41 - old and cranky
DS - 6 - ASD and severe adhd
Oxford - hugs!!! Hang with it, I had a burst of similar emotion with dh - apparently I came across as a bit psychotic... So I explained exactly why I was tense about it all - focussing on all the approaches I've taken lol and the lack of emotional responses from him I'm sure I explained it psychotically too lol... We are all good now but I totally get the frustration of the process.
Wengrin - I love you but omg I couldn't sit through one of those without the migraine... It made me feel blah just reading it... You are crazy lady I agree with primal you love your daughter a lot! Hugs on thanksgiving - if this keeps up you won't have to lie about that migraine!
Mares I forgot to add I love the pics, so casual and perfect.
Primal joy - I think that was very strong test for 17dpo... I'm glad you are stepping away now this new thread has revitalized everything... Here's to the fresh starts and new beginnings!
Mama blue - are you ok?
Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!
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Hey Mares, You and your family are so cute. Your son looks like a blond version of his daddy. Does your DD take after you?
Welcome Chrissy!! Glad you are here!
Oxford- I am sure you are on a roller coaster of emotions. One day you probably feel incredibly hopeful and renewed, then the next you fall apart and feel hopeless. I know that's how I process huge life changes. My Mom was diagnosed w/ breast cancer that had spread to 9 of her lymph nodes (not good) 5 years ago. She went through aggressive chemo and then radiation...during the initial period and then on and off throughout she (and I) went through similar ups and downs. It's like your mind wants to be positive but then the nagging doubt and worry takes over and you feel that sinking pit in your stomach. I think it is a natural grieving/adjustment process. Part of the "wrapping your brain around this huge new thing." Anyway she is fine- she had a brain tumor (which also seemed like that was the final straw) when I was pregnant with DS 3 years ago, and she had the gamma knife radiation and is again in remission. She is here now...with my dad and brother. They arrived this evening for Thanksgiving. (Sorry I don't mean to at all compare your situation to something morbid like cancer, but I sort of relate to the shocking news and the diagnosis...and then the denial, anger, sadness, feeling like you've accepted and can move forward positively, then back into the other stages). I am pretty intuitive.... not sure why but I tend to have a 6th sense about things. I have dreamed of several big things before they happened in my life....which is pretty scary because of course I have nightmares all the time that never come to fruition. But I have always just been very intuitive...not like a psychic or anything. I just for some reason have a good feeling that starting the meds and possibly moving to Clomid or the lap is going to be just what you need to move forward. Maybe I am wishful thinking, but I don't think so. I totally expect for you to pop in here with great news soon. Who knows....either way we are here for you and please don't be afraid to share your negative hopeless feelings because you're going to have those days. It is part of the healing process. If you stuff it down and pretend like it's not there, that's when you get stuck. So vent away Love.
Also about Thanksgiving yes it is just like you see on TV I'm sure. Tons of food...enough to feed 30 people but rarely does anyone host 30 people. A 15 pound turkey we roast in the oven, smoked ham, mashed potatoes, etc. We get so stuffed that no one can do much after eating so we park on the couch and watch football. We usually have 2-3 desserts. It is really a gluttonous feast! So good. The tradition is to give thanks for all of the things we have to be grateful for, and it goes back to when we came over from England (and other countries...I just happen to be mostly English) and didn't know the land or how to grow crops and farming over here, so some of the Native American Indians welcomed the settlers and created a friendship and showed them how to grow corn, wheat, the different ways to live off the land here. I know that many Indians were also killed and had their land taken from them, so it's sort of a touchy subject. But for the group that welcomed the settlers and there was peace between them- they started the tradition of the Thanksgiving Feast. (I may need to look in my history books to confirm the accuracy of that...I am going by memory of what we learned in high school 20 years ago! :-)
For us it also officially begins "The Holidays" so Christmas in on the horizon, we decorate with lights this week and put our Christmas Tree up. The kids get really excited. Good stuff.
So yes we will be preparing a lot of food tomorrow and then the real feast begins Thursday afternoon. I am going to try and avoid the in-laws. Thanks also for understanding my plight. Can you believe they would even have the nerve to suggest a vasectomy to DH?!?! They are really rude people. I think they were raised that way and don't know any better. They're a very whispery and gossipy group. It makes me uncomfortable but we only see them 3-4 times per year. Thankfully they are pretty uninvolved....hubby has a sister who is my age, and they completely coddle and spoil her and her kids rotten. She literally lives nextdoor to them so the grandparents keep her kids all the time. And those 2 grandchildren get the best of everything. It really is sort of pathetic the way they carry on....I just try to smile and be polite and make conversation but I can't wait for it to be over. It is sad......
Also ladies yes the IMAX was torture. If I didn't love my sweet DD so much....I think I would have just said sorry can't make this one! But to give you a little history (sorry this is kinda long!) - I also feel a lot of guilt because it was just her and I for 3 years while I was divorced and we had our own little routine. Then along came the man who would be hubby and we fell in love...she fell in love with him too (still adores him) but is also a bit jealous and now that we have DS, plus step-siblings, our life is much different. So much better in so many ways...but she reminisces about it being just us, living in the tiny condo(flat) and she had me all to herself. We were very close. Once I got remarried and then Pregnant, I think reality set in and she realized this wasn't going to be the fun scenario she had imagined. So she tried to regress a bit in kindergarten thru 2nd grade and really started to give myself and her teachers a bit if a struggle. So that has created some distance obviously. But I have been taking her to a counselor who is really, really good. Brooke loves her. She has helped immensely. Just having an outlet to get the feelings out and not be judged has helped her a lot.
So she is doing much better now and we are working on rekindling that closeness that we had for so long. Part of it I think every parent loses as their child grows....but some of the changes in our life has set her back and made it difficult to figure out her place in our new family. I think we have made huge progress compared to only a year ago. She is much better adjusted now. So- I try to carve out "Mommy-Brookey time" without DS or any other distractions, as my has possible. I usually do 1 or 2 field trips with her school, then I go to her class events when I can....just to give her some "me time" that I know she desperately needs. So at IMAX with the extreme sights, sounds, visual overload....and along with my pounding head and 150 third-graders all sugared up and running around like maniacs that had been let out of their cages for a day ( haha) it was tolerable. I did it for my sweet DD because I know what times like these mean to her. She saw how sick I was when we were leaving. There was only one stall so she got to view me blow my cookies in the ladies room....I hope she understands that I would sacrifice almost anything for her. Hopefully she will look back and remember that I did these things with her. I think she will. She is very wise beyond her years and thinks like a mature adult at times, which is terrifying. But I love her so much and just want to lay the groundwork for her to grow up with good self esteem and self image and know that I will always be here for her! And I want her to feel very valued and unconditionally loved...so that she doesn't seek attention from men as she grows into adolescence. That's one of my biggest fears. She craves my attention and I do my best to give it to her, but we have 6 people in the house at times. Gone are the days of just her and I...eating mint choc chip ice-cream out of the container and watching our favorite movies....even though we still try to do that every now and then while the boys go do their own thing. We make it work. But she really enjoys showing her mom off to her classmates. We are still "cool" at this point. There will be a day when she will be embarrassed for me to come around! Lol...so I toughed it out Monday, for my girl. :-)
Chuord- I hope you are enjoying the reunited BD....I think that's always the best!! Hope you are having a great week.
I really love the feel of the new thread! You ladies are amazing support!!
Take care and hugs to all xx
I'm sure the US people are working on getting ready for Thanksgiving tomorrow. I just wanted to drop in and wish everyone a happy (and peaceful) holiday weekend.
Also wishing a good week/ weekend to our friends not on this shore. Hope you're all doing well and happy.
I have just settled in after a long and draining 2 days of cooking, and we finally had our meal this evening. I had a voracious migraine and really bad sickness from the pregnancy. It was so bad today I wasn't sure I could make it. I thought I would have to let hubby and my parents take over...and just lie down. But I took some nausea med and catnapped, then felt better and was able to pull through. We had a really lovely meal and it all went well. The cousins ran around and played and chased each other. I always love hearing their little giggling voices having so much fun. I was able to make nice and avoid too much conversation with the in-laws and also had lots of help cleaning up too which made it much better. So overall a good day.
I am a bit concerned about the severe nausea. This is the worst I have ever had with a pregnancy. I hope this isn't a sign of what is to come for the next 7 or more weeks! I plan to take digestive enzymes with every meal and try to stay on top of the nausea with small bland meals every 2 hours. If the nausea starts kicking in badly then I'm just going for the Phenergan. I had to use it with my last 2 pregnancies on occasion. My doctor feels comfortable with it. But I always try to get by without it if I can. Today that wasn't smart because the longer I let it go on, the worse it got.
We have all 4 kids for the next few days, so I am not going to let myself get violently ill like today....I am going to make sure I stay ahead of the sickness and dehydration.
Whoo....it sure is not any fun, but I keep reminding myself that it is soooo worth it. I hope our friends here dealing with sickness are faring well.
Here is a pic from our dinner tonight. All of the kids...DD is on the right...DS is sitting in DSD's lap next to his brother. The other two on the left are cousins. They had a ball :-)
We hosted for four friends. Boys were at their dad's, so we only had DD. Lots of cooking and cleaning. I'm mostly feeling alright, which of course us worrying. My symptoms probably just haven't arrived yet for the most part. I am having vivid and unpleasant dreams every night. I thought it was from changing my med dosage, but they've continued even after going back to my normal dose. It's not a huge deal, but I feel that I'm starting my days off balance.
So, DH had a bit of tooth removed from his gum earlier this week (a remnant from a previous extraction). He's been complaining of a sore throat since then. I took a look in his throat tonight, and good lord, he has some horrendous tonsilitis on one side. White patches all over, and so swollen. I feel so bad having him work all day to help me entertain. I'm taking him to urgent care tomorrow. I'm also feeling guilty that our guests were exposed to this, and I'm concerned for me and DD. I hate being sick so much. Anyway, he's been taking amoxicillin for two days (because of the dental work), and it's just been getting worse. That makes me think it's not strep (because it should have worked on strep), and maybe he needs something stronger. Wish us luck tomorrow getting it taken care of. He doesn't have health insurance (I do because I'm required for my job, but the family rate is unaffordable through my employer, so we pay out of pocket for everyone else's care. It's either do that or come up with $15,000/yr to cover the family.), so I'm hoping it won't be astronomical to pay for and we won't have any issues with him getting care.
Whew. How's everyone else doing?
Primal - I hope he gets better soon! Is it possible that its mouth thrush instead from the antibiotics? Probably not, but having had that before with my asthma inhalers I'm always on the lookout for it... If it is nilstat drops were the most effective for me... Hope you get answers
Primal your poor DH....I hope you and DD don't catch it. (Or your friends). I used to get awful tonsillitis when I was little. He must be feeling miserable. I also agree with Chuord though- could it possibly be yeast overgrowth from being on the antibiotics? I battled yeast for a while and the symptoms are very similar to a bacterial infection. I hope it doesn't cost a lot to get him treated. Health insurance keeps going up for us too as well as the co-pays. It is ridiculous... Hope he feels better soon.
I have had the very vivid nightmares and odd dreams, too. I read that it is the hormones...I hope your lack of physical symptoms just means you are one of the lucky ones!! I was talking to a friend of mine and she said with both of her kids she had zero symptoms. Two healthy boys and she could barely tell she was pregnant other than not being able to tie her shoes. Ha...
Oxford how are you doing? Are you and DH BD'ing a lot? Hope you two have a great weekend! TGIF (thank goodness it's Friday- do you all say that over in England?) We also call Wednesday "Hump Day" because it is the middle of the week so you're over the "hump" and on the downhill toward the weekend. There is a really funny commercial about it for Geico car insurance. If you have You Tube you can search for it...Hump Day Camel commercial. I love hearing about what you do in England and Chuord in Australia. That's one of the best things about this site. It makes the world seem so much smaller. Another strange thing that goes on here in the U.S. is today is Black Friday. Many people are off work from the thanksgiving holiday, so stores run crazy deals like flat screen TV's for $98...but you have to be in line when the doors open early at 4-6AM. Some stores opened last night. People camp-out and sleep outside the building for days in advance!! Seriously...to get a TV or a gaming system for their kids. It is pretty crazy. I have never gotten into it. I despise crowds. So I would rather pay a little more and shop on not-so-busy days.
Well Primal I hope you get some mild symptoms, just enough to put your mind at ease...not put you to bed. Or in the bathroom. Urgh....did you say you have an appt soon with the Dr? I guess you will be looking forward to that, so then you'll have some reassurance. I know I'm looking forward to seeing the sonogram on Monday. Just to see a heartbeat hopefully and know that everything is normal. I also hope you have a good fit with your OB. That is huge for me...knowing you feel comfortable and taken care of by your doctor.
Hope everyone else is doing well! Take care. :-)
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