Hello all and welcome!
The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. Over time, many of those TTC among us have been successful, but neither us nor them are ready to say good bye to this Saner Sisterhood. For that reason, we've expanded this description to include both those currently TTC as well as the graduates in the group.
Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.
We also seek to approach our pregnancies with the same holistic calm, knowing that both growing a baby and being a woman are complex experiences that deserve our humility and reflection. As our babies grow into this world, we seek to hold the space for them within ourselves and the world around us, to make our spirits ready as our bodies are made ready.
We also remember that there is much to life outside our efforts toward procreation, and we enjoy sharing all of our journeys with those who share the space with us here.
We hope you'll join us.
Mamablue - thanks for understanding! I'm a lot stressed about side effects. I was wondering can you remember your times on clomid? He's got me on 2 x 2.5mg per day - quite a low dose, I've only taken one days worth so far and my ovaries are aching... Is this normal? Also I'm feeling mildly nauseous and feel like I'm going off food lol. I think the headache is my sinus. Sorry to ask, but in wondering if I need to drop the dose back further... This particular fs had one case that made the paper - one lady had 2 sets of quads with him, apparently she needed help to get pg but just an extremely low dose lol.
I really appreciate all of everyone's support, I'm having a hard time with it all as I'm not sure it feels right for me, and I'm thinking through how great my need to be a mum is.
Wengrin still sending you hugs.
Well ladies what's going on in your lives outside the womb? I hope you are all getting to have some fab time with family and friends
I have 50mg of clomid to start on Friday. I'm having follicle tracking to check how I respond. Maybe you can get some so that you can see the affect and feel more in control chuord?
Wengrin, I am obsessing about you. Seriously. My head is right with you. I really hope the procedure went smoothly and you are recovering well. Let's your family pamper you xxx
Hi to everyone else
Mamablue- are you ok? Xx
Oxford I think he's not too worried about monitoring - in his mind this is the gap filler till next month... I'm hoping its the whole parade lol... Dh already has it in his diary which days to work on the baby lol, it may have something to do with what else we could spend the ivf cash on if we don't need to do it lol... Ok I'm almost back in the real world... It's my choice after all right!
Primal - have you had your scan?
Wengrin - big fat smoothie hugs and all your hormones recovering fast xxxx
Mamablue - how much longer of first trimester for you?
Oxford I'm even more impressed with your whole attitude now I have been through the reality myself (you too mama blue)
Faith, lovey everyone - how's life?
Mamablue- how are you feeling? I hope you are blooming :-)
Faith, primal- how are you?
Extra hugs to my friend wengrin. You are brave and wonderful. Be gentle with yourself xx
Hi, everyone! We're having such a busy week; our first OB appointment, plus getting ready to drive across the country (from mild NC into the snowy midwest!) to spend Christmas with our family. I'm still not done shopping (but mostly done), nothing is wrapped, and this week I've had the first round of symptoms that are intense enough to be bothersome (except not, because I'm really grateful that all is well so far).
We saw our OB on Tuesday. She was, by my estimation, a very new doctor. She was also very kind and respectful, and very natural-minded, which works well with us. She actually had her own baby at the birth center we worked with for our last DD. I think this bodes well for me having the options of some more natural practices, while overall having more medical options during this pregnancy and delivery. At the very least, I know she won't disdain my birth history or outlook.
We had a look with the bedside ultrasound. It wasn't fancy enough to give us accurate dating or much detailed information, but it did show a little bean right around the right size with a flickering heartbeat. We were so relieved, even though I really felt strongly that this one was going to be okay. So, I'm diving in now. Thinking of myself as pregnant, not maybe-pregnant. I told my mom and my boss (because I'm seriously starting to pudge out, and very soon I'll be fooling no one). We got more maternity clothes (I gave all mine away after the last one, since I was unsure if I'd be having more). I also put up a Facebook announcement. It was a poignant convergence, because the visit was a day before the due date of my lost pregnancy from earlier this year. I felt the need to speak to both things:
"I am going to try to do this with as little melodrama as possible. Today would have been my due date if we hadn't lost our pregnancy in May. Right now I would be holding Oliver or Aria, or Samson or Riona.
When I think about that empty bubble, I think of this poem:
"This is the creature there has never been.
They never knew it, and yet, none the less,
they loved the way it moved, its suppleness,
its neck, its very gaze, mild and serene.
Not there, because they loved it, it behaved
as though it were. They always left some space.
And in that clear unpeopled space they saved
it lightly reared its head, with scarce a trace
of not being there. They fed it, not with corn,
but only with the possibility
of being. And that was able to confer
such strength, its brow put forth a horn. One horn.
Whitely it stole up to a maid - to be
within the silver mirror and in her."
Rainer Maria Rilke
We loved it so much.
Yesterday, with the ultrasound's wand, we saw the beating heart of the baby I am carrying now. He was kind of smooshed and shrimp-like, but I could definitely tell that he was the noblest of the shrimps, a prince among sea monkeys. And he had that beautiful beating heart.
I know that he'll live. I am so certain.
Welcome baby. It might be intimidating at first. There are a bunch of you, but don't be scared. You will always have somewhere soft and warm to sleep. You'll always have enough to eat. You'll always have the best of our wisdom, and the freedom to seek and find your own better wisdom.
This is a good place. Family matters to us, and you matter to us. Your siblings will go nuts when they meet you. We all just can't wait.
So, hang in there, tiny little heartbeat. We so much want to meet you formally, look in your eyes and learn your name. You are so welcome here.
We already love you so much."
Here i sit at approximately 5 weeks, and i don't "feel pregnant". I had a little nausea a few days ago but that's it. This is my first and i am so excited to be carrying the new life, but there's that doubt and uncertainty that anyone is really in there. The Dr won't see me until eleven weeks. Did any of you feel like this?
Primal - Lovely, lovely words. Truly heartwarming. I love the peace you feel and the positive outlook just radiates from off the screen. Congratulations on a happy ultrasound.
Lovely - The way you are feeling is completely normal. Soon you may be feeling the intensity of morning sickness that makes everything seems so real. Soon you will not be able to sleep on your tummy because it feels like you are sleeping on a baseball. It will come.
Oxford - How are theses temps? What dpo are you?
AFM - Hanging in there are 9w3d. Still having light spotting, although it's been only been brown for a few days. It does not worry me anymore. I think the placenta has started to begin to take over, because my breast tenderness and intense bloating have lightened up. I'm feeling just a little tenderness and my bloating isn't nearly as uncomfortable. This is all so new to me, as I have always been completely miserable from morning sickness from 7-12 weeks with it fading by 16 weeks. The way I feel now, although it's sorta crummy, is a walk in the park compared to that. It's making it easier for me to take care of my family, but I do admit and it is also making me nervous. Nervousness like I've never felt in any other pregnancy. I wish I could shake it, but worry keeps trying to take over my thoughts. I think much of my worry stems from thinking about my SIL and her numerous recent losses, because I see how much pain it causes her. I think my worry about this pregnancy is my defense mechanism kicking in. This is not like me at all, and I am frustrated by the negativity. I am someone who looks for the good in things. My first official OB appt is next Monday, and I'm betting that if that scan goes well, my fears will largely dissipate.
Lovely - from what I remember from the journeys of others in various forums you are in that inbetween place - as mamablue says soon you will start to really notice, but for now it's like that baby is in stealth mode... Hang in there, most people wonder during this time - but often all is well. If in a few weeks you are worried and let your doc know they maybe will see you earlier? Any tricks for that ladies?
Mamablue - hugs!! I wonder what changes you have made to your diet and nutrition since your last pg? I'm sure it would make a difference to the level of symptoms - you know less wiped out because you are constantly replacing the nutrients in you that baby is borrowing?
I appreciate your perspective, chuord and mamablue! My husband is happy about the pregnancy (of course) and the only other people who know are my therapist and my fitness trainer. It's definitely not time to tell our families. We're seeing my in-laws at Christmas and I doubt my husband's secret-keeping ability, so we'll see. I'm subscribing to this thread so I can keep up better.
Primal- so glad you are contented :-)
Mamablue- good to hear your symptoms are mild. Hang in there with the nerves and let your little one grown enough to give you more hassle ;-). I'm looking forward to your appointment for you. I hope it brings you peace.
Afm- it's 15dpo today. AF should arrive tomorrow
I hope it's 2 or 1.
Good night y'all.
Btw lol I got it mixed up I'm on letrozole not clomid (apparently does the same thing but doesn't linger in the system)
My only advice for you Lovely is to distract yourself as much as you can, and just recognize that it's out of your hands now. It's also true statistically that the odds are in favor of things being okay (though I find that statistics are pretty worthless on an individual basis). I think the main thing is to realize that there's just not much value to worry or self-protection here. If things go wrong, it will hurt no matter what, so I am in favor of trying to seek whatever joy you can in the situation. Also, although I'm still early, I will say that I was almost seven weeks before I got noticeable symptoms. Just some bloating before then, which could have just as easily been Thanksgiving over indulgence. Every pregnancy is different, and some don't seem to make themselves felt as much as others. Just eat well and stay active and be good to yourself while the time passes.
Can I join? We're going to start TTC this cycle. :)
My details: two previous piggies. DD is five and a half, conceived in a 'whatever' way, no muss, no fuss. DS is two and a half, conceived in a rather sudden but intensively planned decision via charting - we got lucky on our first try. So thus far, I've been ridiculously lucky when it comes to reproducing. It'll be interesting to see what happens this time!
As for the timing, we were going to wait until next month, but we're going on a big exciting holiday to Disneyland in a few weeks and it occurred to me how nice it'd be *not* to have my period while away. :p If I have the timing figured right, it'd be too early for the baby to be upset by being jostled around on roller coasters, or for me to display unpleasant pregnancy symptoms.
I've been half-heartedly taking folic acid for a while. Since the decision I've become more diligent about it, as well as taking vitamin D, a zinc-B6-magnesium, and fish oil.
It's funny. We were - OK, I was - so driven last time, with DS, charting carefully and obsessing about the whole thing. This time, thanks to Christmas busyness and the excitement of the holidays, I'm too distracted to obsess much. Which is a good thing, really...
If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.
Primal that is excellent advice and very wise!
Smoking- I hope everything works as smoothly as you have planned
Mamablue- I think you are following that advice, I am admiring your zen.
Chuord- how are you feeling on your new drugs?
I'm starting to feel a little more AF-ish, so hopefully she will land today. My chart temps are low, not below CL, but it's a classic AF drop so here's hoping to reset the game!
Wengrin- if you are reading along, big hugs to you. I miss you :-)
Chourd - Letrozole works a lot like clomid, but people report less side effects. Their success rate is about the same.
Smokering - Welcome. I hope you get your BFP as planned.
Hugs Oxford! I totally understand, I think we've been at this for so long now it's just annoying... However I'm with mamablue, this cycle for you was a warm up and throw clomid in and I'm sure it's going to work!
We are starting the bd much earlier this cycle as I'm not sure if the letrozole will change my o timing... If you don't have a supply of opk I'd look into it now - I'm meant to monitor thoroughly lol but have no time to order online really... Could be expensive lol.
Do you mind if I join your community here on this thread? I was very interested in the title, as I have been fascinated by full moons and nature for quite sometime. (It's taken me an entire year- but I am finally in a place where I am fertile during the full moon, versus bleeding.)
I formally introduced myself HERE.
DH and I are finally TTC for the first time. I've tried to take a very holistic approach in preparing and despite having very low chances of conceiving naturally, I would like to continue a very grounded and nurturing fertility journey. I have finally found the love I have for myself and try to grow it each day. I go to a chiropractor and acupuncturist weekly in an attempt to push myself to a healthier place.
Is there a thread with Sane TTC advice? ;)
This is what I am focusing on this month:
AF due January 2nd.
Also, I'm so glad that I found this board. I really enjoyed The Knot when I was waiting to get married, but when I ventured over to The Bump- it seemed like so many people there were mean and snarky. I would think that all that negative energy would not be the most beneficial space to surround yourself in when trying to create life.
Primal, that is so lovely. Your baby is lucky indeed to be joining such a loving family.
Chourd, I imagine your thoughts and feelings are totally normal. I hope you feel like you have the information and support you need. I do hope to see pictures of your baby one day in the not too distant future.
Oxford, it is always hard when AF comes, isn't it? I have been thinking of you. I am glad you are on the track to pregnancy, but I can't even imagine the emotions that you are experiencing. You seem so strong and eloquent through it. We're all rooting for you.
Wengrin, thinking of you every day. Holding your hand out here in Oregon.
Mamablue, excited about your scan! If you feel comfortable maybe you can post a picture from it. Would love to see your little bub!
Sorry to everyone I've missed. On my phone
AFM - Nine weeks tomorrow. Feeling sick, but not terribly so. I had my first appointment Wednesday and it was nice to see our midwife again, but of course it was too early to really do anything. They sent a referral to get an ultrasound and the Harmony blood test, but no one has called me yet. I will probably call and bother them Monday, because I was hoping to do it before the first of the year. Living apart from Mark is still really difficult, and there's nothing on the market right now. Still feeling depressed about our living situation, which is why I'm not around much. It will be nice to be reunited for the holidays.
Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
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