TTC AND NURSING AN INSAITIABLE TODDLER - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 21 Old 02-22-2014, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello ladies! I am new to these boards but I've noticed a lot of gentle parenting here so I feel like it might be a good place to get some ttc advice. I am almost 37 years old and desperate to give my nearly 18 month old son a sibling. My husband and I have been TTC since December and I have been charting using CBEFM as well as OPKs. I noticed that I had the classic signs of hormonal issues while nursing which are later ovulation (day 20 when it used to be CD15 before my son) and I have had a short luteal phase. I really don't want to stop nursing my son entirely. I would love to tandem nurse even. In order to help things I had him weaned for 7 hours during the day but it didn't help so I moved it to 10 hours. I also added B6 and vitex this cycle which seem to have taken my LP from 6 to 9 days. Still not good enough for pregnancy. My son cosleeps and his hysterics make me think he is just not ready to night wean yet. I tried and would love just a ore bed and early morning session but he hits me and kicks me and screams. He violently refused anything I offer him and since I started trying to cut back on night sessions he has become more clingy and started wanting it MORE and freaks out almost instantly if I don't give in. He has been suckling all night every 1.5-2 hours the last three nights. I'm sore as tired and worried I won't be able to get pregnant with all this nursing. I am no spring chicken and worry about my eggs. Can anyone offer me any tips on getting pregnant while nursing? Or any advice. Enouraging examples of pregnancy while nursing through the night would be nice l hear as well. I am desperate. Thank you.
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#2 of 21 Old 02-23-2014, 10:29 PM
 
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Anyone have any advice?
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#3 of 21 Old 02-27-2014, 07:50 PM
 
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How long have your cycles been back? I tend to have late ovulations and short-ish LPs even when not nursing, and I've conceived twice with just a 10-day LP, and all four times with O dates after day 14 (the latest O date being day 23).

With your age, and with him still nursing so much, it's a hard spot to be in. I personally know of multiple women who have had babies into their 40s, but I also know of women whose cycles don't become fertile (or sometimes don't come back at all) until they wean completely. I hope you can get pregnant easily in another few months and won't have to worry about it.

Vitex, IME, takes several months to have its full effect. I noticed you didn't mention maca, so that's another supplement you can try (I'm giving that a try myself now).
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#4 of 21 Old 02-28-2014, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Harmony96 View Post

How long have your cycles been back? I tend to have late ovulations and short-ish LPs even when not nursing, and I've conceived twice with just a 10-day LP, and all four times with O dates after day 14 (the latest O date being day 23).

With your age, and with him still nursing so much, it's a hard spot to be in. I personally know of multiple women who have had babies into their 40s, but I also know of women whose cycles don't become fertile (or sometimes don't come back at all) until they wean completely. I hope you can get pregnant easily in another few months and won't have to worry about it.

Vitex, IME, takes several months to have its full effect. I noticed you didn't mention maca, so that's another supplement you can try (I'm giving that a try myself now).
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#5 of 21 Old 02-28-2014, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your response. I have had a cycle since 3 months PP (I am now almost 18 months PP). It has been somewhat erratic because my son quit his pacifier 9 months ago and it changed how much he night nurses. I still got periods though and have been for a while. Day weaning seems to have extended my LP to 8 days from 6 but its still not over 10. I haven't tried maca. How much do you recommend? What does is help with and when in my cycle should I take it? I'm doing 440mg of vitex and 100mg of B6 along with my prenatal. I am gonna give it a few more months of gradually cutting back feeds before I decide to fully wean.
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#6 of 21 Old 02-28-2014, 10:28 PM
 
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Here's a thread about maca. Most there are taking 2000 mg each day and taking it into early pregnancy as well.

http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/newestpost/1187953

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#7 of 21 Old 03-01-2014, 06:29 AM
 
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What about picking up on the day nursing and cutting back on the night? He might be more willing to accept night weaning if he still has access during the day. And from what I understand, having that 6 hour or so time span at night is much more effective than during the day in terms of fertility. My voracious nursery was 19 months old when we accidentally caught my first post partum egg, and it was jist a few days (it felt lime) of him changing his night nursing pattern for it to affect my fertility. Just food for thought.
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#8 of 21 Old 03-01-2014, 05:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I tried to ramp up the days and end the nights but it didn't seem to work. He just freaked out and wanted to nurse even more at night. Night weaning has been so hard for us. It screws up both of our sleep and he can't seem to be distracted or get to sleep without serious CIO ending in me finally giving in. I am gonna try to gradually take out one feed at a time and see how that goes. Perhaps tarting with the first couple.
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#9 of 21 Old 03-02-2014, 12:58 PM
 
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greensad.gif I hear you, my son was the same way. Even the break I got to get pregnant was only temporary, as he ended up getting sick shortly after and went back to a lot of night nursing. He would have sporadic good nights, but over all he was still nursing pretty regularly, so it is possible to keep it and still get pregnant. The other big factor for us was weight/nutrition. With such an avid nurser, it was taking a big toll on me physically, so make sure that you are keeping yourself well nourished. You have made a few changes recently, and I know the vitex can take a few cycles to build up...so maybe right now the best approach is to try to relax a bit....because the thing that makes my son want to nurse more than anything else is pressure to stop nursing.
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#10 of 21 Old 03-02-2014, 10:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You are so wise! That's great advice. I also seem to notice that pressure makes my son freak out and I don't want that. I pray I will get pregnant while nursing because I really dont want to have to wean before he is ready. You mentioned that weight was an issue. You mean keeping it on? How old was your son when you got pregnant? Was it a surprise pregnancy? Thank you so much for your reply.
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#11 of 21 Old 03-02-2014, 10:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry I see now he was 19 months and it was a surprise. Do you remember why his schedule was altered when you caught the egg? Was he sleeping through the night more? Thanks again!!!! smile.gif
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#12 of 21 Old 03-03-2014, 05:58 AM
 
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No worries - my son has GI issues/food intolerances, so had still been getting the majority of his nourishment from nursing, and that meant nursing around. the. clock.  I was eating a paleo diet, and accidentally was too low carb, so I kept loosing weight.  Once I introduced some more carbs, my weight bounced back up a few pounds.  At the same time, DS started eating a solid dinner (I think he also was lacking carbs, so the reintroduction was a really good thing).  Eating the dinner allowed him to sleep a 4-6 hour stretch, but he was still up frequently after that stretch.  I think my body was trying to cycle for some time, and those were rather big changes all at once, and I think it was an immediate thing when my body got what it needed.  I just found my old thread asking about body fat, nursing, and TTC...I started it at the beginning of August, probably introduced rice a week after that, and by the beginning of September, DS was sick again, (oddly enough, I know from tacking my fertility signs that I wrote my last post the day we conceived, lol!)  So, it was about two weeks of changes when I ovulated, and DS went back to a lot of night waking the week I got pregnant, as he caught a cold.  Once the cold wore off, he would alternate between some good nights and some bad nights...

 

ETA: It was the first PP egg that I caught, and the beginning of pregnancy was tough on my body, since I wasn't as up on energy as I should have been, but once everything got ironed out, it was fine and DD is super healthy.  It sounds like you are really close, so I would try to take some time fior self care :)

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#13 of 21 Old 03-21-2014, 02:39 PM
 
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Just chiming in in agreement that Vitex (I love) takes a few cycles to kick in. Also, at 18 months your little guy is right on the threshold of lots of changes - at that age my guy was not ready to night wean but by 20 months it was easily done. I let him nurse fairly regularly and through a few winter colds at 21,22,23,24 months and now at 26 months decided to cut down to 2x/day (nap and bedtimes). He is really fine with it.

 

So - I know you're in a hurry but just wanted to let you know that things can change pretty quickly at this age and so don't stress too much about it. 

Also, here is a great myth-debunking article about conceiving past 35 http://nypost.com/2013/09/28/outdated-studies-feed-false-panic-about-older-moms-to-be/

 

Good luck!

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#14 of 21 Old 03-21-2014, 04:10 PM
 
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I was also going to chime in and say not to stress too much the over 35 thing, as much of the statistical info used to scare older women is pretty flawed.  I got pregnant while nursing when my dd was about 9 months.  I nursed successfully through pregnancy but she and I stopped the nursing about 2 weeks before my next was born - i'm guessing because my milk changed at that point.  All kids are different though - my second was a far more avid night nurser. 

 

One thing that helped me cut back on night nursing and eventually stopping nursing was having a really patient and supportive partner who was ready to take on the role of being the night parent.  I think you can still be a gentle parent, and yet explain to your son that you need to sleep at night and sometimes Daddy is going to be the one to cuddle him at night.  If you take this approach, I would make nursing available during the day, so it's not like you're cutting him off, just changing the night routine.  My partner and I started with one or two wake-ups a night that he would tend to, and then increased that so he was the go-to person at night.  Kids have pretty elastic memories, and change can be effected over a week or two that just becomes the new normal.  I also agree with the PP, though, that your little one will be going through some big changes and it may all resolve itself in the next few months in any event.

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#15 of 21 Old 03-22-2014, 07:42 AM
 
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Another vote for partner taking over night parenting. We basically nightweaned this way with no issues but we also transitioned him to a crib.

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#16 of 21 Old 03-22-2014, 08:50 AM
 
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How hard of a time did you have getting pregnant with your son? If it wasn't too challenging, I would think the odds are with you this time. (I know, secondary infertility is a thing, but I think your odds at 37 are better since you already had a child, versus someone the same age who has not had a child.) Also, you got pregnant when you were 34. I don't know if I buy that there's such a big difference between 34 and 37 that you should all of a sudden be so worried. 3 months is really not that long of a time to try, either. I think it is erroneous to say "Well, I tried X this cycle and didn't get pregnant, therefore X wasn't sufficient." (in this case, B6 and Vitex.) Maybe some of the stuff you have tried is helping and you just haven't given it enough time. It may take more than one cycle to see results. You could be the most fertile person in the universe and still take a few cycles to conceive. It's not a sure thing on any cycle, no matter how many people you know who had "oops" pregnancies. :wink

 

I understand being worried, but it sounds from your post like you are still pretty early in the process to actually need to worry. I am a big advocate of not borrowing trouble unnecessarily. (Of course, I don't always manage to take my own advice, but that's neither here nor there.) 

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#17 of 21 Old 03-23-2014, 07:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you so much everyone for all of your thoughtful replies. We are now in the process of using dr jay Gordon method to night wean our son. I am keeping two feeds a day and praying that that does the trick. If not then we may wean in July or Sept fully. I have low AMH which is an indicator of low ovarian reserve. I did conceive my son the first try so I can't be sure if that was luck or if I am fine and the test was not right. Either way I am clearly being effected by the nursing because my luteal phase is 8 days and it used to be 11-14. I also ovulate 2-4 days later. I love nursing my son and I really pray we can get pregnant while I still am. I will try to remember to update this thread if we get a BFP.
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#18 of 21 Old 03-23-2014, 08:10 PM
 
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Good luck! We used a modified version of that method even though we didn't co-sleep--did a few days of really brief nursings and then a few days of Dad just getting her and putting her back down awake. She was around 14 months at that time. She hated it for a few days, but once she got used to it, she did totally fine from then on out, and didn't seem bothered about it during the day. I conceived my son while nursing my daughter 1-2x a day, and I definitely remember stressing out over whether it was the nursing that was causing a problem or not. 


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#19 of 21 Old 04-04-2014, 12:17 PM
 
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On my ttc cycle last month, dd was still nursing at night. I had to take Clomid to ovulate, and even then ovulation was late on CD 21. LP was 13 days. 

 

I night weaned dd on CD 2 of this cycle, and I ovulated on CD 15 without any meds and got +bfp. Don't know whether or not this pregnancy will work out, but for me night weaning made a huge difference. DD still nurses before bed and when she wakes up. 

 

My dd is almost 3 years old though, so it didn't take much to night wean her this time. I wasn't able to do so last year. 

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#20 of 21 Old 04-04-2014, 12:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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On my ttc cycle last month, dd was still nursing at night. I had to take Clomid to ovulate, and even then ovulation was late on CD 21. LP was 13 days. 

I night weaned dd on CD 2 of this cycle, and I ovulated on CD 15 without any meds and got +bfp. Don't know whether or not this pregnancy will work out, but for me night weaning made a huge difference. DD still nurses before bed and when she wakes up. 

My dd is almost 3 years old though, so it didn't take much to night wean her this time. I wasn't able to do so last year. 

It's so funny that you posted this! I just ovulated on CD 15 instead of 17-21 yesterday and I am in my TWW now. I weaned my son down to a 20 min feed before bed and one in the morning. It has not been easy and there have been a lot of tears but he is adjusting. Congrats on your BFP! I hope I have the same news in a couple weeks! I'll let you know. I also added acupunture and fertility yoga.
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#21 of 21 Old 04-04-2014, 12:57 PM
 
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It's so funny that you posted this! I just ovulated on CD 15 instead of 17-21 yesterday and I am in my TWW now. I weaned my son down to a 20 min feed before bed and one in the morning. It has not been easy and there have been a lot of tears but he is adjusting. Congrats on your BFP! I hope I have the same news in a couple weeks! I'll let you know. I also added acupunture and fertility yoga.

 

That's great news!!! Good luck!! Yes, they cry for a bit but they adjust quickly. My dd doesn't expect to nurse at night anymore. Now I'm trying to keep the nursing at the same level (2x/day) that enabled me to conceive, just in case... 


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