The Saner TTC and Graduates -- Worm Moon - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 06:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello all and welcome!

The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. Over time, many of those TTC among us have been successful, but neither us nor them are ready to say good bye to this Saner Sisterhood. For that reason, we've expanded this description to include both those currently TTC as well as the graduates in the group.

Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.

 

We also seek to approach our pregnancies with the same holistic calm, knowing that both growing a baby and being a woman are complex experiences that deserve our humility and reflection. As our babies grow into this world, we seek to hold the space for them within ourselves and the world around us, to make our spirits ready as our bodies are made ready.

 

We also remember that there is much to life outside our efforts toward procreation, and we enjoy sharing all of our journeys with those who share the space with us here.

We hope you'll join us.


M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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#2 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 06:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I thought I'd get us a new thread after I dropped the ball in February.

 

The moon name meaning from the Farmer's Almanac:

 

"As the temperature begins to warm and the ground begins to thaw, earthworm casts appear, heralding the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this Moon as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signaled the end of winter; or the Full Crust Moon, because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. To the settlers, it was also known as the Lenten Moon, and was considered to be the last full Moon of winter."

 

The last moon of the winter! Time for springtime and many new blooms!


M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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#3 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 06:51 AM
 
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So ready for springtime!!! We have had a wet deluge the past couple of days. So many car accidents and wet roads. Plus it is cold. Yuck. This is not the norm for us...this time of year. It is blazing hot by May, so if it doesn't warm up soon we will skip spring.

I am nauseous but not vomiting. I don't know if that's good or bad. Would I feel better if I got sick? Are my hormones low?! I don't think I will have any peace of mind for a while, but I have stayed busy so that has honestly helped me.

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks Primal, for the new thread.
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#4 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 06:57 AM
 
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Thanks for the new thread!

Me - 39
DH - 40
DS - 5 ASD and severe adhd
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#5 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 07:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm really ready for springtime, too! We keep getting these teases of warm weather, just gorgeous days, and then end up frozen again for a few days. Chrissy - my kids are out of school today, too, because of icy roads -- unheard of in NC in March! Wengrin - I'm worried too that we're going to skip right over spring to the yucky part of summer.

 

I have an OB appointment this afternoon, so hopefully the worst of the ice will have melted off by then. I'm going to try to find out about switching over to the CNM side of the practice.


M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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#6 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 07:54 AM
 
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Primal good luck with your appt today. Hope it goes smoothly.

I guess I should be happy that we don't have to worry about snow and ice. Florida people can't drive in the rain, much less icy roads. We were driving home Sunday from Atlanta and saw so many accidents. One car that was following right behind us started hydro planing and spinning and then crashed hard into the guard rail. Then another wreck that we sat in for an hour where an RV had collided with 2 other cars. They all had to be towed away...hope the people weren't hurt. I kept thinking how awful that would be to be cursing along headed for spring break vacation and then have an accident. Also Monday AM we dropped my car off at the dealership to have the brakes checked (car was driving funny Sunday) and hubby goes into work very early so we left at 6:15 AM and the rain was constant. I saw 3 accidents that had just happened...I had hubby's huge truck and that was not fun to drive. So I am just ready for some nice weather!

It is DD's spring break so she is out of school until next Monday. She is staying with her dad until Friday.
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#7 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 08:43 AM
 
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Primal- good luck at your appointment. Thanks for the new thread, the end of winter is a great reason to start a fresh. The weather here has risen above freezing and today there was a ball if fire in the sky. I was unsure whether call the emergency services!!!!

Wengrin- enjoy your peace and quiet :-) have you got anything fun planned for you and DS?
Glad you stayed safe on the road with all the chaos around you.

Thank you for the commiserations. AF pains have eased today so hopefully it is a good spring clean out! Onto the next cycle and more clomid. The hospital have moved my appointment back so I will have this new clomid cycle before we start IVF. I'm feeling quite chilled. This spring weather is good for new life ;-)

Hi to everyone else.
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#8 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 01:13 PM
 
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Primal, thanks for the new thread! I hope your appointment goes well and you are able to switch over. 

 

Wengrin, how scary! I am glad you are okay. I think it is interesting what you get used to driving in. I'm from Oregon, so I have no problem in the rain. But snow? My idea of driving in the snow is pulling over to the side of the road and crying. It scares the bejeezeus out of me. How are you feeling? Do you have any appointments on the horizon?

 

Oxford, so glad AF has eased up a bit. I am sorry she found you this month, but didn't you say you felt like this coming cycle was going to be it? That's an exciting thought! How do you feel about waiting one more cycle for IVF? I agree with you about Spring :)

 

Mamablue, how are you feeling?


Chourd, when are you testing? Hope all is well!


girl reading.gif absolutely in love with boy modifiedartist.gif.  DD loveeyes.gif (11/06) and DS luxlove.gif (08/11), and someone new in July stork-suprise.gif!
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#9 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 02:35 PM
 
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I figure this next cycle on clomid could be a baby, and if not, the following cycle on IVF could be twins! Spring is definitely the time :-) lambs and baby chicks and all that :-)

Lovely to hear from you mares, but you didn't tell us how you are!!! Is that babe settling in nicely and bringing you joy? Is your mum ok? DH settled? Any news on the house? I hope all is well, you sound cheerful!

Mamablue, linds, chuord - hello!!
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#10 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 03:12 PM
 
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Thanks for the new thread primal! Please keep us posted on your appointment,..
Wengrin - when are you doing your next checkup? Lol a bit I'll but not as bad as you were last time sounds good to me wink1.gif last time was too much!
Oxford - fx!!!!! Maybe twins for you this month lol...
Chrissy smile.gif
Re the snow, I grew up without but had snow when I lived in Bristol UK - I loved driving in it smile.gif extra challenge... We are starting autumn - yay!!! I hate hot summers, feels like a waste of a year to me...
I'm still there, trying to stay light hearted and keep distracted - hard when half the day is remembering when to take each med lol. Today is 8dp6dt so strictly speaking 14dpo but they want me to wait till Monday to test... I may poas before then lol... I'm no saint wink1.gif
Generally really tired and having a vinegar fetish, salt and vinegar crisps, and pickled veg (onions beetroot etc no cucumber) but it's probably all the hormones I'm on wink1.gif do again no stress just trying to ride the wave.

me 39, DH 39, one no babies yet due to previous poor health. Trying to make up for it now (TTC since November 2012) At least one confirmed chem.Ivf #1 march 2014 - 6 day 6 blasts, two transferred bfn, 4 frosties in waiting.Ivf #2 may, cancelledIvf #3 July... Waiting
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#11 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 04:06 PM
 
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Primal - Thanks for the new thread! Silly me, all this time I thought you had already made the jump to a CNM group. Duh, me. I hope your switch goes well.

Chourd - It's so exciting that testing time is so close for you. Thinking positive and relaxing thoughts in your behalf.on a completely different note, is the missing plane the hot topic of your local news in Aus? I wonder since the search is closer to you than here in the US.

Oxford - Best wishes to you, your DH, and your ovaries on your next Clomid round. How have you been feeling, meds-wise? Has your body adjusted to the metformin you started a few months ago? I remember it was causing you tummy trouble, but that it had eased up somewhat. I'm hoping that no news means that your tummy is happily adjusted. I'm also hoping that the stresses your stepdaughter has stirred up are settling, or at the very least, not increasing. I was a teenage stepdaughter, and I wasn't always easy to get along with. Fortunately, that unpleasantness wasn't permitted by either of my bio parents, so (hopefully) my stepparents felt that they had the backing of the rest of my family. I think they're all relieved that I turned out to be a nice, normal human being. There's hope for your step daughter, too. smile.gif

AFM - Nothing of special interest to report here. Baby seems to be doing well. Kicking here and there strongly enough that my DH can feel it with his hand on my belly. The second trimester truly is the honeymoon phase between the first trimester of nausea and worry, and the third trimester of discomfortable sleep. Good times.

Married to my high school sweetheart. We have four awesome kids.
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#12 of 188 Old 03-18-2014, 07:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Appt went really well, aside from having a male med student do part of it. I am not okay with male providers for my gyn and pregnancy stuff, and it was extra annoying because I'd intentionally made sure my appt was with a female. He was fine, and I do get that students need to learn, I just wasn't in the mood for the surprise. Otherwise it went well. I really liked the doc I eventually saw, and she agreed that there's no reason for me not to switch over to the midwife group. She wrote my prescriptions for the duration of the pregnancy so that's covered, too. I have an appt next month with a CNM, and I'm so glad I made the change. I am just so used to the CNM model of care; it works much better for me. I'll still deliver at the hospital I want (I had a good experience there with DD), and financially it will still work for us.

Baby was fine when they checked, good heartbeat. My uterus is larger than expected -- for them. I know when I ovulate so I know that their August 6 due date is more like August 1, practically speaking. Doesn't really make enough of a difference to matter. I've gained 10 lbs, which is less than I'd have guessed. I feel huge.

My cough has gotten better in the last couple of days, too. Such a relief!

M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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#13 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 06:57 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

Primal so glad your appt went well and you are comfortable about your medication and being able to see the CNM from here on out and still deliver at the hospital you want. That's a relief. 10 pounds is great for being halfway through, right?

My next appt is April 9th. I will be 11 weeks and they'll do the level 2 sonogram and bloodwork (Harmony I think) and I will see the OB. I am wondering about the time between now and then. This next week is when the baby stopped growing last time. What if I get there and similar issue happens. I just worry about a missed-miscarriage. I keep telling myself to think positive but really the only thing that helps is keeping busy. I have been even more anxious these last few weeks (and I struggle with anxiety normally...so with the hormones and everything I am really a mess). I went to dinner with some friends last night and that is really helpful. Being around friends helps a lot.

This coming weekend I have my parents visiting and hubby and I are going to go to the beach (30 min away) to stay in a hotel and have dinner, just the two of us. We have never spent the night alone since DS was born. He is very attached, so I have had a tough time leaving him. Funny how different babies can be. DD was so easygoing and would have no problem staying with my parents for a couple of days. I used to envy other moms who had children that were so attached and wanted them all the time, because my DD would seriously go with anyone...just very independent. Now I have a super-attached DS and it is very tough because he wants me all the time. He is so sweet though and warms my heart.

Anyway that's funny Mares- you liked driving in the snow! I think I would pull over and cry, like Chuord. :-) I have never driven in snow. I have only been in snow that barely accumulated on the ground. I would like to see thick, heavy beautiful snow, but only for a visit. I can't imagine living in it...

Well happy Wednesday everyone. (Happy Thursday Chuord! ) funny how you are entering autumn and we are entering spring. I also wondered if you guys were hearing a lot about the search for the missing plane. That is just too weird. I really hope it was not a terrorist act but my gut feeling the whole time has been that it was. Then again I am conjuring up all kids of things to worry about over here!

Worst-case-scenario-wengrin!! Goodness....
;-)
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#14 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 09:24 AM
 
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Hello!

Dear wengrin! Take some deep breaths and enjoy your bump. You have so much on your mind right now, what a tough time. Your night away sounds really exciting! Make sure you relax and enjoy your couple time. Soon you will have three children to care for :-) I understand your anxiety now you are getting close to the same point as last time, just try to remember your two previous pregnancies for DS and dd, you CAN do this :-)

Mamablue- so cute that DH can feel the kicks :-) you enjoy your second trimester honeymoon! I can't believe you were ever a bad teenager, you are such a sweetie! Thanks for asking about my meds. I have now settled on the metformin. As long as I avoid carbs and fat, my tummy is fine and I am used to it now. It was a difficult 2 months getting my body to accept it though. When I'm back at the hospital in three weeks I'm going to request that they test my hormone levels and see if the met has had an effect.

Primal- glad your scan went ok and you like your doc. It sounds like you have everything in order now. Good news that the cough has subsided, it's amazing how much it zaps energy.

Chuord- you are patient this month, well done on the zen. I hope those two little babies are snuggled in for 9 months now.

I don't mind driving in the snow. My car is quite good in the snow as it's Scandinavian and front wheel drive. DH's car is a Herman rear wheel drive and is totally hopeless in the snow!! We use my car when the weather turns. Still I am happy to see spring settling in and I'm looking forward to summer.

It's cd3 here an I start a new round of clomid tonight. Back to wild mood swings :-(
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#15 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 12:47 PM
 
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Wengrin, I think it is really common to feel worried at the same marker as a loss. I've read a lot of other women talk about the same thing. I wonder if doing something small to acknowledge the baby that stopped growing (maybe even just say a few words to him) would help with the day. I agree with all the wise things that Oxford said. You can do this. You are wonderful and your body has grown two healthy babies. It isn't broken, it can do the same again. I'm so excited for you getting a night away with DH! I really wish Mark and I could do the same. It's funny, Clementine is super independent and was the same as your DD, whereas Malcolm is so attached. I can't imagine being able to spend the night away from him. Every night he says "cuddow mama, cuddow" and pulls my arm around him and positions it just so on his belly. Lately he's been waking me up by giving me a huge hug and kiss. It's so sweet. Sometimes it makes me feel a little reluctant to add a new baby.

 

And actually I am the one who turns into a puddle of tears in the snow. I just really don't like it. A big part of it is I drove a Volvo 240 Wagon (2 wheel drive, rear) and it handled terribly. 

 

As far as the missing plane - it's very unsettling. I did read this article, and it made a lot of sense. http://www.wired.com/autopia/2014/03/mh370-electrical-fire/

 

Primal, glad your appointment went well! Interestingly, I've never had a male OBGYN or anything of the type. Just by chance. I don't think I would care for it, though. I'm excited to hear how your appointment goes next month, I hope you find the care and peacefulness you're looking for. I think you will :) Good job advocating for yourself.

 

AFM - I don't know. I am doing alright. Feeling mostly better physically. Actually, I'm not sick anymore, but I'm coming into the uncomfortable part of pregnancy. My back is sore and a bit sore up by my ribs. I don't mind, though! But I'm feeling really, really homesick for California and our home there and the life we made. I don't know. I think it's hard because when we moved we left a home and we haven't been able to make a new one yet. It will have been 6 months when we finally do get to move. I'm just... I don't know. Feeling down today.


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#16 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 02:28 PM
 
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Mamablue - dh feeling the kicks is so great smile.gif
Yes we've been getting a lot of news on three things - the plane, Crimea and the prestorious case - I'm a bit over all of them. Probably because under the zen I'm still on heaps of hormones, lol and very tired so I have less tolerance than normal for sad stories.
Primal - woohoo on the great appointment and the transfer of care... Btw did you think to say no it's not ok for the student to be there? People do all the time - hold that thought in case you need to again. Glad your cough is going!
Wengrin - I agree with Oxford too - acknowledge the last and remind this one how to do it... I still look at my detailed images of embryo development every morning and show baby/s where they should be at... Lol it may not help but it's all I can do smile.gif enjoy that night away - it'll be hard but don't stress about ds otherwise you'll ruin the night together smile.gif
Oxford - it's only when you talk about the meds that I remember how rough all this hormonal stuff has been on us, I'm so glad you dropped to part time - this stuff is too crazy to do while in a crazy job as well!
Mares - hugs, it's been long and hard this separation... You have signed on the new place right? When is it unconditional? Hold onto that thought...
Chrissy - wass minion a clingy baby? Lol I'm seeing a thread here - it's the boys!

me 39, DH 39, one no babies yet due to previous poor health. Trying to make up for it now (TTC since November 2012) At least one confirmed chem.Ivf #1 march 2014 - 6 day 6 blasts, two transferred bfn, 4 frosties in waiting.Ivf #2 may, cancelledIvf #3 July... Waiting
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#17 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 02:31 PM
 
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Hello all! Just a quick pop in to say hi! I took a FRER out of curiosity :/ Monday and it was negative and took another test today, still negative so as long as this trend continues I'll be at the doctor on Monday. Dh had his appointment Monday, doc said he didnt trust the previous test results so he had to do another analysis and blood work. There going to test the dna(I guess he said something about if its actually in strands or chopped up I really don't know) and check the morphology, count and motility again. The Doc also said that he thinks his testicles are undersized(sorry, TMI) and he's worried about varicose veins. He goes back in three weeks for an ultrasound and for the rest results so we'll see!
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#18 of 188 Old 03-19-2014, 08:17 PM
 
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Ahh I am sorry ladies, my fuzzy baby brain isn't fully functional. I don't know why I seem to keep doing that....mixing you all up. I promise I am paying attention (in my mind...lol) but anyway I seem to be mixing a lot of things up lately. Some pretty important. I hope my friends and family will look past my ditziness.

Sooo Mares you are the one like me who is afraid to drive in snow. And Fearless Chuord and even Oxford will gladly take on the challenge! Very cool ladies. You are stronger than you think, I'm sure.

Mares I sense the sadness in your tone and I hope that things start to settle for you soon. I know you must feel stuck in limbo. And those feelings of DS being so attached and needing you right now. I have those exact feelings. I wonder what will a newborn do to us, to what we have. Will we ever be the same? It is sad but also exciting. My DS is the same as yours. Except his words at night are "momma- tubby?" For our bath together...and "momma lie down.....snuggle, mom". He has the cutest little accent. He calls me mum instead of the more American mom. Really cute. I love him to pieces. In going to have to be really strong to not keep checking on him Saturday. In sure he will be fine. DD will be here and he loves her and my parents and my brother so they'll all keep him super entertained.

Lindscott- sorry for the neg FRER. Hope you can get some answers or guidance as to what is next soon. And sorry about your hubby's size issue. You have to chuckle about that (inside not to him). I know we never want to deflate their egos. Poor guys, they really take a beating with this fertility quest. Good man for sticking by you and going through the testical eval process. Never knew they did that. I will keep you guys in my thoughts and hope that there are no problems for him there or with varicose veins. Take care, love.

Good night all!
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#19 of 188 Old 03-20-2014, 04:14 PM
 
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Pretty sure AF reared her head today but nothing about this cycle has been normal so I'm not positive (none of the signs or symptoms are the same but it seems like her). I called my doctor and they never called me back which didn't help my already crabby mood so I dunno. Hope all is well with you guys!
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#20 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 06:47 AM
 
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Chourd - Is today testing day? You are in my thoughts and my hopes are with you.

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#21 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 07:44 AM
 
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Lindscott sorry and hope that your doctor calls you back. I know that super-crabby feeling. I hope that if it was AF the doctor is going to get you in and be proactive.

Good luck with testing, Chuord.

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend. Yesterday I took dinner to a friend of mine who just had a baby, and I of course overshot my expectations of how difficult the meal would be. Lots of peeling and chopping and took all afternoon. But it was good. I was completely exhausted last night. I did make a double portion so we had food for dinner ourselves. Anyway I am dragging today trying to get ready for my parents to arrive. Sunday will be 8 weeks. Only 2 more weeks of Progesterone.
😄
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#22 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 01:13 PM
 
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I had my anatomy check today. It was the most in depth ultrasound I've ever had. Baby looks great, and this time I can believe it with confidence.

Here's my little one kicking up a storm. Just out of the picture is my bladder with baby's head pressing firmly on it with each little squirm. This is baby's favorite position to be in.


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#23 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 01:32 PM
 
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Mama blue- what a beautiful baby!! Look at his long legs, gorgeous. You must be so proud. I'm pleased you can relax into this pregnancy and enjoy (except for the extra bathroom trips!!)

Wengrin- take it easy mama!! You are living for two at the moment. You are so kind and generous, I hope you get all the work back to you when you have your little one :-)

It's cd5 here and ramping up on clomid. Hold on for the hormone rollercoaster!!
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#24 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 01:44 PM
 
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This is for you my dear Oxford. Roller coasters suck, but the one you will be on is bringing you closer to motherhood. xoxo


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#25 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 03:26 PM
 
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Thank you, mama blue!!!!
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#26 of 188 Old 03-21-2014, 03:41 PM
 
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Wengrin - that was sweet! Lol it's something my mum always does smile.gif
Mamablue - pic is gorgeous! I'm so glad you are happy with the results smile.gif that's what's important... And ouch on the bladder!
Oxford - good luck!
Ok re me blood test isn't till Monday, however I did poas yesterday just to check - absolutely negative and that was at 10 days past 6 day transfer so 'should' have shown something. I have to wait until Monday in case there's something hiding, but chances are low... So I'm thinking through my options for next month... I'm calm now, yesterday I couldn't see the wood for the trees, and generally I'm over this journey - 17 months and counting.

me 39, DH 39, one no babies yet due to previous poor health. Trying to make up for it now (TTC since November 2012) At least one confirmed chem.Ivf #1 march 2014 - 6 day 6 blasts, two transferred bfn, 4 frosties in waiting.Ivf #2 may, cancelledIvf #3 July... Waiting
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#27 of 188 Old 03-22-2014, 07:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, Chuord. You must be so frustrated and disappointed. You've gone through so much for so long. I will hope for you that the blood test holds some different news. If not, we are all still here for you and holding you in our hearts as you go forward.


M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2000. DS #1 -- March 2001. DS #2 -- November 2002. (Ten year break!) DD -- October 2011. M/C at 8 weeks -- May 2013. Expecting #4 late July.
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#28 of 188 Old 03-22-2014, 11:38 AM
 
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Oh chuord, that's awful news, you must be so disappointed after the lengthy process. :-( sending you big hugs. Be kind to yourself. Have you thought about your next steps or is it too soon? Take it easy, we're all here for you.

I've had a stormy weekend of deep conversations with DH about sd. We are tackling some seriously sensitive issues and it's painful on all sides. I hope it moves us forward. Tonight we are both making an effort with each other.

Hope you are enjoying your weekend xx
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#29 of 188 Old 03-22-2014, 12:43 PM
 
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Chourd, my heart sank when I read your post. Be gentle with yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. We are here to support you the whole length of your journey and whatever decisions you make.

Married to my high school sweetheart. We have four awesome kids.
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#30 of 188 Old 03-24-2014, 10:01 AM
 
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After 5 days of clomid, I feel depressed, tearful and emotional. I'm so insecure I feel like curling up in DH's lap and refusing to move. Not a good day, I can't wait for it to be over. Please God give me a baby this month so I don't have to endure another hormone drug :-(
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