Originally Posted by chilee
af is here...way late but ffs i knew she would. i freaking swear i will never test again.
glad i did not test ..
rosie ...feck feck feck
jengy ... no fecking
I lurked for quite a while and I remember you from the 40+ forum and I've been quietly cheering you on..always hoping to see that you are growing a new bean
Just want to offer my support and for you to know you have a quiet cheerleader in your corner.
How are you feeling now? I know your concerned about DH...is he in the "know" yet ? I am in a somewhat similar boat. My DH wavers quite a bit. Worried about financial issues, a child he had when very young and the mom who mover cross country after a deceptive conception and he has guilt over not being the dad he would like to be. He also suffers with severe depression. Before we got married we talked about having a child together (I have a 10 rear old DS from a previous relationship. We have been married for 3 and a half years and it's been a bumpy road but we are.riding it together. About a year ago we decided to let caution go and would see what would happen. I've had a 10 week miscarriage and never knew I was prego, I was devastated (I'm an only child.and have wanted several.kiddos since I was very young, I desperately wanted siblings of my own. I promised I.would give my children what I always wanted, siblings close in age, well that is.out the window. I came.to terms with it and now realize that a sibling at any age will be a lifelong gift). Sorry, I don't mean to be off track. But I wanted to share a little about myself, don't want you to feel like you've got a weirdo stalker, lol. Anyway, I never imagined having trouble Le getting pregnant. The age thing snuck up on me. I certainly don't feel, look, or act my age, I'm just a big kid) active and just amazed that I'm actually a new 41 yr old. So DH is 33 and recently dropped the bomb that he no longer wants to have another kiddo. Many reasons...DS is older and we can do more things, financial worries, concerns for a baby with health issues because of my age, irks me because I believe completely that we would not have to worry about this, and he struggles with depression. I recently got him to open up about his biggest fear and he dropped the bomb. .."I'm afraid I won't love the child". That threw me for a major loop and didn't know how to reassure him. Fortunately we see a marriage counselor. When I mentioned Dh.fears the therapist immediately said the problem is depression. It's hard to love other's when you don't love yourself. Since then we have had two chemicals this month and last. Each time DH is very excited about the positive test but then when it's lost he is back to not being sure if he wants to REALLY TRY. At this point I think I need to be assessed and havnt been to gym in 2 yrs so it's way overdue. I just asked Dh to give serious thought about what he wants to do. Unfortunately another snag comes along with the meds he is on for depression, my DH was Very much an enthusiastic partner, ha did I say that gently enough? Lol..don't want to offend but sadly he is no longer the same in that department. This has its own set of issues...so battling that as well.
I apologize. I certainly didn't want to make.this all about me, though t some background might be nice, especially since I've gotten to know you pretty well...even if you didn't know it.
I want to offer my support. I think it's easier when we K ow were not alone. Having this haven to share our fears, problems, celebrations is awesome . I know it has brought me peace and support.
So I hope all is ok with you and your DH puts the scissors away. There is another little soul that wants to join your family.
Hope you don't mind the long introduction. ...I'm a talker and guess a writer too...
You have a great attitude and are very positive. ..it's encouraging to see and helps me to stay positive as well.
So major baby dust and ....stay away from sharp objects.....
Enjoying this beautiful day and staying active...getting the blood flowing.