Hello all and welcome!
The original "Sane 2ww" thread was started by zenquaker. This is a continuation of the "Sane 2ww" thread and we felt "A Saner TTC" was a natural evolution. Over time, many of those TTC among us have been successful, but neither us nor them are ready to say good bye to this Saner Sisterhood. For that reason, we've expanded this description to include both those currently TTC as well as the graduates in the group.
Here's the gist of the original thread: this is a space to re-conceive the 2ww as a time of waiting and contemplation. Although we don't judge those who wish to poas frequently, symptom-spot, or do chart analysis, this a space set apart from that activity. We share our thoughts about other ways to approach the 2ww and all parts of our cycles. We encourage each other to feel our feelings fully and to greet all possible outcomes with openness.
We also seek to approach our pregnancies with the same holistic calm, knowing that both growing a baby and being a woman are complex experiences that deserve our humility and reflection. As our babies grow into this world, we seek to hold the space for them within ourselves and the world around us, to make our spirits ready as our bodies are made ready.
We also remember that there is much to life outside our efforts toward procreation, and we enjoy sharing all of our journeys with those who share the space with us here.
We hope you'll join us.
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This month's moon name and meaning from the Farmer's Almanac:
"In most areas, flowers are abundant everywhere during this time. Thus, the name of this Moon. Other names include the Full Corn Planting Moon, or the Milk Moon."
Happy flowering, lovely ladies.
Hello Zen Mamas! I have been lurking on and off for a bit but am finally feeling ready to embrace the full zenness of this thread. I introduced myself here a few months back but as a refresher: I'm 36, DH is 39. We have one DS who will be 4 in June. We have been TTC since Nov 2012. I had a m/c March 2013 at 13 wks, TTC for a few months after that but started getting too wrapped up in it and had to step away for a bit. We've been trying again since last Nov. In March DH and I went to see my naturopath; she said she thought it was just a matter of time and we just need to keep trying on for a while. At first I was pretty unhappy about it because if we have any issues I'd rather deal with them now than later but DH is more of a "deal with it later" type so for now I am trying to just go with the flow for a while. Since the m/c I've been thinking more about adoption but DH would rather go the RE route if things don't work out naturally for us in the coming months, so we'll see. For now I am trying to focus on de-cluttering my house and becoming more fit.
lindscott- Hope your "something" turns into something good.
Lindscott - fx for the iui!
Msbe - welcome back hope you get the direction you need xxx
Oxford - it takes time... Tried the chiro yesterday, my neck was out (he's an anatomist not chiro) so he moved it back into place - I went with a headache, and haven't had one since the treatment!!! I have a sore neck (muscle sore) but that's it, Ranee muscle tested the day before that it had been out for 7 years... So maybe it's been the cause of my migraines - time will tell but I'm so happy right now ))
MsBe -- Welcome back! I can relate to needing breaks from the TTC process. Conceiving this baby was a bit of a process for us, involved a loss, and I went back and forth, even went back on birth control for a while because I was so burned out on it (I'm just not very patient). I hope this thread gives you the right amount of support without overwhelming.
Lindscott -- Good job on the follie! Best wishes on the cycle!
Oxford -- (hugs) on the start of a new cycle. Is this month going to be your first IVF?
Chuord -- I'm glad you're feeling better after your treatment.
AFM, I have my next midwife visit tomorrow. It's good timing, because I've been having a ton of BH contractions and will want to see someone if they don't chill out tonight. I'm not really concerned, but it is what it is. I left work a bit early to go lie down and drink some water, and things have settled a bit, so at this point I'm just thinking it's the heat (92 degrees F here today) and a touch of dehydration from pregnancy sweaty-ness (sexy, I know). I'll also have my glucose tolerance test tomorrow. After four pregnancies, I've never had any blood glucose issues (or any complications, really), so I'm hoping to go four for four. Overweight mamas get a lot of doom and gloom from their providers, so I am always satisfied to not fulfill that prediction for them. After that, we'll be getting prepped to take the family to the beach for the weekend. Like all family trips, this one will be a lot of work, and hopefully lots of fun for the kids.
Chorud, glad to hear your headaches are better! I have been to a chiropractor many times and have found their techniques and effectiveness vary greatly. I really appreciate what they're able to do. Every time I'm pregnant I wish I would have married one, haha.
Hello to everyone else!
Afm - Yesterday, my birthday, the movers came and picked up everything. It took them 6 hours! Other times we've moved it's been done in just a few hours. We had everything lacked, too. My mom made us dinner It still doesn't feel very real that we're moving, but trying to say goodbye was tough. Especially because I know how much they miss having the kids around.
Today we have to pack up the last few things and all the animals and drive up to the house. We have to stop and get our chickens, and their coop, which is the big stressful part. That and the furniture won't be delivered until Saturday morning, so we'll have to sleep on the floor. I'm a high maintainer sleeper - I need a fan and correct pillows (or I get terrible headaches) and I like to listen to a book on tape. It took me a long time before I figured what worked for me, before that I just had a really difficult time sleeping at all. So I'm not looking forward to that, either. My dad took the day off to help, though, so that's awesome.
I have an appointment with my new midwife next Thursday, which I'm excited for. It has been a bit longer between appointments than it normally would, because of moving, and I love checking in with the baby. I'll be 30 weeks pregnant tomorrow. I have the same feeling about the baby that I do about moving - like it isn't really happening and I'm just humoring people to act as if it is. I keep getting worried my intuition is trying to tell me that there won't actually be a baby. Then rationally think about how busy everything has been, how much else has been going on, how we've had less checkups and ultrasounds and how we don't know the gender or the baby's name and ALL those things could easily make the reality of the baby seem less tangible than with the other two. Plus I probably felt that way more than I remember with them. But it still gets me sometimes. My anxiety likes to masquerade as intuition sometimes.
Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
On that note my first ever organic sheets (they were on sale) arrived yesterday and the bed is so scrummy - there is no smell to the at all and they are crisp as!!! They have a 5 year warranty which I thought was hilarious, lol when you're not spending a lot it's the things like this that are exciting! however in reading I found out that during its processing one normal sheet gets about 500ml of chemicals and pesticides added to it... So I may have to throw out all the old ones and go this way...
Primal - did you have your appointment yet?
me 40, DH 40, one (TTC since November 2012) At least one confirmed chem.Ivf #1 march 2014 - 6 day 6 blasts, bfn, 4 frosties. Ivf #2 may, cancelled, Ivf #3 July two transferred, 3 frosties... BFP! Scan at 6+4 wks - twins!! Feeling more blessed than words!
Wengrin - I'm happy to hear that you are slowly but surely seeing improvement in how much nausea you are experiencing. I'm looking forward to the day you post that you have had a great feeling day! We will all celebrate!
Chourd and Oxford - Are you two lovely ladies ready for your upcoming IVF cycles? I'm so excited for you both, and so happy to hear that you each took advantage of your (mostly) unmedicated cycles to relax and enjoy yourselves. We are here for you as things intensify in the coming weeks. Grow eggies, grow!!!
Mares - I'm happy to hear that things are moving full steam ahead with your big move! You most likely have a good ten weeks to settle in and transform the new house into your comfortable home. Do let us know how your appointment goes with your new midwife. I do not remember - are you planning to deliver at home or at a birth center?
AFM - I'm doing good. Baby is head down (and has been for awhile) and the stretches and kicks are getting stronger. At my midwife appt this week, I measured 3 weeks ahead. My midwife and I are both confident that I am measuring that way because this is my 4th pregnancy. None of my babies have weighed over 8lbs, so it would be pretty strange if this babe ended up being a giant newborn. Just to play it safe, I went ahead and did the gestational diabetes screen. My results came back great, so no worries there. I'm just a big bellied lady.
chourd- I love chiro. I'm glad it has given you some relief.
Thanks for the welcome, PrimalJoy. Yeah, I struggle with impatience too. I can be patient waiting for a relatively sure thing, but when the fear of uncertainty takes over I start wigging out. After the m/c last year we only tried for two cycles before I started to despair. We are on our sixth cycle since starting to TTC again and I trying to commit to a whole year without allowing the worry to take over. I started making a baby blanket to help me with this and so far it has been pretty effective. I just learned to knit so I figure it will take me quite a while to finish it and while I am working on it I feel calm and certain that in the not too distant future I will have a baby to wrap in it.
mareseatoats- Happy Birthday! I love moving. Unpacking, figuring out what fits where, finding spots for all the special things are my favorite parts. I hope it goes smoothly for you.
mamaBlue- Love big bellies! How about a pic?
I am steadily, if slowly, moving forward on my de-cluttering/ purging project. And I've gone for three outdoor runs in the past week and plan on a short run on the treadmill today. Focusing on doing things that I most likely wouldn't be doing if I had a six-month old now helps keep the baby blues away.
Msbe - lol I have two finished (crocheted) blankets and am halfway through a couple more... It is a good distraction!
Day 4 of injections here... And over it lol! Also I've been cooking up a storm for the freezer, I found that after trigger I was quite awkward (12 eggs maturing) so this time I'm getting prepared with lots of veggie heavy food.
Oxford where are you at? Has AF arrived yet? Let me know if you have any questions
Mama- great news about the appointment! Glad that everything was normal.
Chuord and Oxford- good luck on your ivf! Fx for good results!
Mares-more power to you for moving while preggo. I couldnt do it.I hate moving anyways I can't imagine doing it pregnant.
Msbe- hi and welcome!
Afm I had my second iui yesterday and it was much better than the first time, no pain during or after but I started spotting this afternoon. Not a lot kinda dark brown the first time and brighter red the second. I have my drs number so if it keeps up I'll call tomorrow and if it stops I'll call the office Monday just to mention it. Anyone else have this happen?
Happy thoughts for all!
Mares- happy birthday, hope you had a lovely day? And congratulations on your move day!! Yay!! Are you living that gorgeous new home. I imagine it's heaven having DH by your side again. Take it easy on the unpacking and let your family take care of you.
Wengrin- are you continuing to improve. Lots of rest sweetie, hang in there.
Mamablue- you sound so serene! Great news that the little one is head down and kicking away. What a gift! I hope you continue to bloom and enjoy. Are your other children excited?
Chuord- hang in there with the drugs, you are fully supported this cycle and a baby is definitely on the agenda. Is DH looking after you?
Msbe- welcome back! Nice to have you with us. I have a lovely mental image of you knitting on a treadmill!! Hope it is all occupying your mind. This journey is so so difficult, one of the toughest things I have ever done for sure. We are all right behind you.
Lindscott congrats on the IUI. I hope the bleeding settles. I have never had IUI but I did have some bleeding after my dye test, I think the cervix is not too happy when they use a catheter! I hope the TWW flies and you get the best result.
Afm, we went to the hospital yesterday and signed all the consent forms for IVF. AF is due tomorrow or Tuesday so I took the drugs away with me and we bowl straight into it this week. After all the waiting it seems quite fast now! Because of my pcos I am on an antagonist protocol, so it should be quite speedy. I am trying to rearrange or ditch my work commitments to focus.
Chuord- looks like we will be near cycle buddies again!
Have a lovely evening everyone!
Hi, ladies! We just got back into town. I got the results from my testing back while I was gone, and everything is good. Glucose normal, iron even in normal range (I'm usually a bit anemic when I'm pregnant). So, that's great news!
Trip was good until yesterday, which was I think the scariest day of my entire life. My 11-year-old was swimming in the ocean and ended up out too far. He's not a strong swimmer, and got caught in a rip tide. I didn't realize what was going on; DH went out to help him but couldn't swim against the tide and get DS back in. The were treading out there, and I wasn't really sure what was going on... I was confused and frozen. Thank god there were people who were more experienced with the ocean near us. They had a surfboard and went out and got them just as they were starting to tire and yell for help. I had just dialed 911 into my phone. We've been doing a lot of processing since then. It's awful. I'm so, so, so (times a million) glad that everything turned out okay, but there's still a lot of echoes of fear and guilt from the whole experience, both for me and DH. DS doesn't want to talk about it, and I'm expecting he's not going to want to go into the ocean again for a very long time. I wish so badly I'd been more careful with where I'd let them swim. I don't have a great deal of experience with swimming in the ocean (my home state was landlocked), and I made a bad judgment call. I really feel that I let my son down, and it was just good luck and the good will of strangers that let him get out of it alive. It's so hard to have that knowledge in my head, I can't even tell you. I'm just hoping this sensation fades. Of course, we'll never forget the lesson, and will keep the kids closer to shore and only swim on protected (as in, having a lifeguard) beaches from here on out.
I'm reading what everyone else is up to, just no time for personals now. Happy Monday to all of you!
Thanks for the warm welcome ladies!
Oxford- I love the mental image of "knitting on the treadmill". But I am a new knitter and super slow. My sister just opened a fabric arts shop and told me she has women who come in and read while they knit! I can't imagine. I can barely watch tv and knit. Wow, emotions must be running high with the IVF stuff suddenly moving along so quickly. It's very exciting, hope this is the month for you!
chourd- I've found knitting easier than crocheting but I'd like to give it another try. I love some of the fancy stuff you can do with it. What are your blankets like? I usually love to cook but haven't been doing much lately. what kinds of things are you making & freezing?
lindscott- Hooray for painless IUI! Hope your spotting has cleared up.
PrimalJoy- I'm glad your test results are looking good. That experience at the ocean must have been so scary! Don't feel guilty though, rip tides are totally unpredictable. I've had scary experiences while swimming and it has just made me a more careful and practiced swimmer. Poor DS is probably feeling very shook up right now but these experiences seem to usually have a strengthening effect over the long term.
AFM- Had a few good days of EW this cycle and fair coverage with BD-ing. Expecting that I will O in the next day or two, but feeling no anxiety so far this cycle. If it happens this month then -awesome!- but if not then there is still next month and the month after that, and the month after that, and the month after that...right?
Chuord and Oxford- I've tried knitting and crocheting and I'm horrible. I can crochet a chain but damned if I could ever turn it.
Primal- rip tides can be super scary. I imagine your whole house has been feeling the aftershocks of a scare like that. So happy everyone was ok and he got in safely.
Msbe- best of luck for you in this BD season!
Afm I got a hold of my doc on sunday and he said if the spotting persisted to call the office Monday so I did and they called an order into the lab to check my progesterone (funny, my doc had asked me right after I was done "marinating" from the iui if I was on progesterone and I told him I wasn't but he said since my LP is consistently 13-14 days that it wasn't necessary.) Hopefully those results will be in late tomorrow or early Wednesday. If it's not the progesterone then I just don't know. It's not painful I just feel very full in my lower abdomen. I also had indigestion(I'm guessing, I've never had it and been told what I was experiencing but this felt a lot like that is described) but I'm not putting stock into anything. I'm only 7dp bd 5dp cervical insemination and 3dpiui. Not sure when I ovulated because I totally failed at temping since I thought the cyst put me out of the running. Fx for everyone this round!
Sounds like you are both in with a good chance this month msbe - love that you've found your zen and relaxed! The only reason to rush and get tests early would be age, so if that's not a factor patience is the best thing to start with.
Lindscott - I'm glad they are checking the progesterone for you, let us know what you find out. Even if this month has no results the more information you get the better and progesterone is an easy fix.
Mares - hope you are doing ok with the move, have been thinking of you sleeping on that floor and wishing you a comfortable sleep!
Hi all xxx
Primal - Don't beat yourself up about your ocean scare. Everything worked out okay, and you are all the wiser for it. Live and learn.
Mares - How is setting up the new house going? I'm sure you must be so very busy right now.
Lind - I'm thinking good thoughts for you during your 2ww. Remind me, was this your first IUI or second? I'm losing track of time a little bit.
Chourd - How are you feeling? What cd are you? Have you started stims? I'm cheering you on!!!
Wengrin - Are you still feeling a little better every day? I'm hoping the answer is an enthusiastic Yes!!
AFM - Doing good with not too much to report. Lots of BH contractions, but that's not too unusual for me. My shipment of newborn size cloth diapers arrived and they are so cute. I always forget how tiny newborn bums are.
Hi everyone! I'm reading along, but not much time to comment (and it's tricky on my phone - computer not set up at the moment) but I wanted to let you know that I'm here and thinking of everyone.
Primal - I fully understand how haunting that can be. Before Malcolm turned two, when we lived in California, he popped the screen out of a second story window, which looked out on concrete steps. I heard a weird, muffled cry and ran out of the office to seem him dangling out the window, slipping out more and more. I flew across the room and caught his feet, but even now thinking about it gives me a cold dread. I hate it. It's a terrible, awful feeling but like others have said, be gentle with yourself and try and let it go. Our boys are here with us. We didn't fail them. If anything we can hold them a little tighter and appreciate our time with them a little more. I'm sorry for what you're feeling - it is probably the worst I've experienced as a parent.
Mamablue - What diapers did you get? I'm still trying to decide. I have some left over from the first two, but we just bought whatever was cheapest then (no money!) and I wasn't happy with the covers. They seemed really uncomfortable, left lots of red marks on their legs and waist.
Hello everyone new! Cheering everyone on as they TTC this cycle, sounds like some really promising developments. I can't wait for our next BFP!
AFM - We're finally moved in! It's been a bit rocky, but I'm feeling good now. The house is definitely different than I had dreamed of - a cabin in the woods instead of an old farmhouse in a field - but it is also a very nice house and I think I'll come to love it in no time. In fact I already am. Once our stuff finally got here (It was delayed twice more and didn't come until Saturday late afternoon) and I was able to cook some meals in my very own kitchen and sleep in my own bed, and unpack my favorite books, I started to settle in. Yesterday the kids and I walked around the lake, which was beautiful, and I found myself thinking smugly, "none of these houses are as good as ours" and then we made delicious dessert (brownies with chocolate mousse and homemade whipped cream). There is some stress about the chickens and yard, but that should all be worked out in time. We were hoping this weekend, but it is supposed to be rainy. And my midwife appointment is tomorrow! I'm very excited.
Here are some pictures from Mother's Day - Malcolm was asleep in the car so he didn't get to be in them. These were taken at my dad's house.
Girl absolutely in love with boy and our DD (11/06), DS1 (08/11) and DS2 (brand new!)
I will write full personals tomorrow. Here's a snap...
Mares congrats on house and your bump is gorgeous!
Mamablue- I can hear your contentment!
Wengrin- hope you have continued to improve
Chuord- what day are you on? When's collection?
Good night x
All the best to you primal, take care of yourself. :-)
Mamablue - thank you for your ever present calm zen that you share! Can you post a nappy / diaper pic?
Woohoo Oxford!!! Here's to a good haul for you!
Hi - Wengrin, primal, lindscott, Chrissy - anyone who's lurking
Afm - had scan on Tuesday, existing cyst has grown a bit but we are ignoring it for now. 5 follies on one side and 8 on the other... (Leads are 12.4 and 11.7 with a bunch of 10's) Just proceeding on meds (three injections this month) next scan is on Saturday with probable trigger that night and egg retrieval on Monday... The ivf drugs seem to make it all happen soo fast... My tummy is looking like a war zone, but I can still find patches to inject.
I'm getting less monitoring his cycle - but I'm assuming it's cos I look like it's going very similar to last time. I've prepared frozen meals and got in everything I may need lol as I remember that I felt a bit sore after trigger last time... Fx for a good haul that all fertilize!
Chuord- those potatoes sound so good, I might have to do something like that soon! With the end of the school year approaching leading to less motivation to cook and the iui cutting down on my intense workouts I had been doing my clothes are getting tighter again.
Mares- love the bump!
Mama-it's my second round. Totally different experience from my first!
Afm the nurse called today and my progesterone was a 9 so they're confident I ovulated and said I don't need any supplements. They still want me to come in for the scan on Tuesday but seem pretty confident that I'm not out of the running this week. Still don't wanna get my hopes up but is nice to know that so far I've done what I'm supposed to!
Chuord -- I think granny squares are great! I have been collecting vintage crochet patterns for a while. Simple and cute! Good job on the egg growing; sounds like you're well-synchronized this month to have a bunch at the right size at the same time. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Oxford -- How exciting to be jumping in! I hope the injections continue to be tolerable and do what they're supposed to do for you. Thanks for the support. DH says he wants to take lifeguard training now after that happened, so he can better help next time. It's not something that ever occurred to me before, but really doesn't sound like a terrible idea!
Linscott -- Good luck on your TWW! Anything fun going on in the next couple of weeks to keep you busy while you wait?
Mares -- Thank you for the sympathy on my kiddo scare. What you described with Malcolm sounds very much like what I felt! Serenity popped out a screen once and actually fell out; thank god it was on the first floor and she was only scared. Raising kids is terrifying! We're calming down now and it's feeling less yucky. Planning precautions and such helps me feel a little better. I found out after we got back that there are lifeguards on that beach from Memorial Day to Labor Day, so we were just a few days shy of having a professional there to help. Now I know!
Mamablue -- I've got the BH going on, too. What's more uncomfortable is some of the movements babe's doing. Lots of bladder punching and cervix pummeling. Glad he's feeling strong, but wow! We'll be pulling out the diapers next week. I was having reservations about doing cloth again because we have a front loader machine now, which I heard isn't great for diapers. We already have them, though, so we're going to give it a shot. I'm going to strip everything and get it set up, and we'll just see how it goes. We have NB prefolds with covers and Fuzzibunz one size pocket diapers for when they're bigger. We had good luck with the prefolds, but had a lot of leaks with the pocket diapers. We'll see if they do better this time, because I'm not really willing to replace them at this point.
MsBe -- Good luck on your zenful TWW. Anything fun planned?
AFM, all is well. My DS who scared me so badly has been at his dad's this week, and had his fifth grade camping trip starting today, so I'm hoping he's gotten a lot of fun going on to help him soothe and recover. We're feeling better now that we've had a few days' distance, more lucky and less guilty. Kiddo will be with me all next week, so I'll be able to see how he's feeling now that he's had some time. For my part, I'm running away from home for a few days. There is a camping music festival that I used to go to every year, and I decided last night that I simply must make it happen this year. So, I'll be doing that -- by myself -- for the next few days. I think it will be the low key antidote to the constant running around, working, homework, family busy-ness I've been dealing with for months. It's also the last thing I'll be able to really do on my own for a while because of new babe and nursing and all that. I really just need it. It's a wonderful vibe, no cell service or internet, lots of kind and welcoming women (no men at all, actually, which can be nice sometimes), nature and stars and music. Wish me luck on setting up camp on my own and working my volunteer shifts effectively. I'm not too worried, but I know it will be challenging.
Anyone else have anything fun planned for the holiday?
Glad everything is settling re the scare, and that dh is having a fun time.
I hope we get a good batch of eggs this time about the same as last time will be great. My parents are coming to stay Friday next week - about 4 days post retrieval so that will be great!
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