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discalceata 07-05-2014 10:00 PM

Swinging During 2ww
So… no judgement please, I'm non-monogamous. My husband is awesome but every once in awhile I like to play outside. (He does too.) We've been TTC a few years now and on this current cycle I took Clomid for the first time. Things look really good so far; I'm only 6 DPO but everything looks like it may potentially be a go.

I have a chance to play tomorrow with someone I've had a crush on for awhile. I'm going to play with him regardless, but is intercourse (with condoms) safe? Or is there some semblance of risk? I've never swung during the 2ww but this is a situation where I have a strong pull in both directions.

What's the risk here? How far can I go?

SeattleRain 07-05-2014 11:08 PM

If you're practicing safe sex, I can't imagine there is much risk outside of regular intercourse. I would probable try to avoid activities that typically give you UTIs if that's an issue for you since you might need to take antibiotics for that.

The only other thing to be concerned about is herpes, which cannot be stopped through condoms. If you are pregnant and you contract herpes I think there can be additional risks for the baby. It's something you and your DH will have to talk about since it's an added exposure with multiple partners. If y wanted to really cut down on that risk, you would want to probably eliminate intercourse with outside partners while you're pregnant (both of you) and have a full work up done.

PrimalJoy 07-06-2014 07:50 AM

No judgment here at all, but just for medical reasons, it might be prudent to plan on monogamy for both partners during the pregnancy, especially if you're herpes and hpv negative. Ultimately it's up to you what level of risk you're comfortable with, but STI infection during pregnancy can lead to complications during delivery (as with herpes) or preterm rupture of membranes during pregnancy. Hpv can also be more aggressive during pregnancy, which could put you at risk if you contract it.

Good luck with TTC!

discalceata 07-06-2014 10:41 AM

Hmm, good to know. Okay. Mulling it over…

Ordinarily I'd just wait, but this is a rare opportunity and I'd really love to seize it if I can! Maybe I'll just fool around with him and steer clear of intercourse. We'll see. Thanks for the advice!

alittlemischief 07-06-2014 11:08 AM

I know this is different... But here's my 2c. When I started ttc I was so darn careful during the 2ww that I stopped most of my fun. Then when AF came I'd feel like 'darn I should have had that glass of wine/hot tub/ theme park ride/ herbal tea/ sushi/ sauna that I wanted...' The list is endless. My point is, I'm back to enjoying my life regardless of where in my cycle I am, because I'm a 'sieze the moment' gal, and ttc makes me miserable enough without taking away my treats. Will you regret not going for it if AF arrives? Of course I'm hoping she stays away for you- just something to think on :)

discalceata 07-07-2014 08:07 AM

I went for it, used condoms, did mostly outercourse, and had a lovely time. Glad I went. Thanks, y'all. :kiss

Catherinedejesus176 05-14-2015 06:30 PM

Hello,def no negative thoughts here,its 2015!!
With all due respect to you and your hubby, I would say everyone get tested if no one is going to suit up for many factors that you already know of STD,STI, UTIS, etc...If everyone is checked then you mind is clear on where you all stand but it doesn't mean the other person you want to play with will be truthful.. Or i would just set a lil rule for condoms during this time of TTC with hubby.Basically,make the other person put a suit on as well as hubby because some STDS,HPV, etc can lay dormant sometimes and that will def effect you and your lil bean..Best of luck TTC!!...

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