30+ and TTC 12 mos+ 8/29-9/04 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 02:22 AM
 
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I'm in the beginning of the 2ww too, Velvet - I'll do my best to keep us both sane and zen

Laurel, I agree -- swearing from a Dr would have me up and outta there as fast as possible (unless it was Korin and she was describing a fan tastic movie or something... then I would laugh!)

L'Nayim, I'm SO glad my advice helped! Also, I hope you told your cousin what you were thinking -- that she looked gorgeous in those pics. It sounds to me like she may have some issues with anorexia (if her hair is thinning from weight loss... that can also be hyperthyroid). Be careful not to criticize her current weight, but let her know you appreciated her old look....

Did I mention my 5th wedding anniversary is this monday? Even tho M is super-swamped with work worries, he's still going to take the day off so we can celebrate (He normally goes in on "soft" holidays like Labor Day).

I need some ideas about something I can do for him that would be very special.... anyone got any?
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#62 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 02:48 AM
 
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Is there anything special you guys did for your honeymoon or wedding that you could re-create? Or maybe someplace that was special to you both while dating? You could find somewhere similar since, if I remember correctly, you've moved since the wedding. Good luck and congratulations! Our anniversary is on Sept.14.

I went to lunch with a MDC mama today!! She is really nice and her daughter is adorable. It was nice to be able to talk about the boards to someone in real life. She hasn't had any problems TTC, but told me about a good birthing center in Santa Cruz. So it was a good day.

I'm on cd 8, waiting for my egg. Hopefully it doesn't run off and hide like all of the other eggs lately....

Danielle, fabric artist, mama to Eleanor 5/05 and Charlotte James 09-26-09
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#63 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 09:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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but not with good news. The RE (and or the nurse that took my history) thinks that I am low to empty on eggs. Apparently I had an FSH test on April 1st(CD5). My levels were high apparently. Can anyone point me to info on FSH levels? The next step would be to try injectables and possibly donor eggs. I repeated to them that that was not an option.

What I don't understand, is why, my GYN didn't notice this. She's the one that ordered the test.

I'm ready to find a new set of docs (GP and GYN).

On top of this and the cat being put to sleep, my best friend and her DH are trying to adopt a little boy and things went haywire yesterday in family court. I cried lots yesterday. I'm scared for him and them.

Things are better today (I was so exhausted that slept really well), DH is at a loss. All he can do is hug me. He wanted me to call my mom but I didn't want to cry more. I haven't told my parents that we are TTC. I may call her over the weekend.

Thanks for being there mamas.

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#64 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 11:04 AM
 
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Amy, I don't know anything about FSH levels, so I can't help you there. I hope you get the answers you need. And I hope everything works out for your friend. I'll be thinking of them.

I have read some really enlightening books lately and would like to share. The first is "What You Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause". It is for women in their 30's and 40's since premenopause is something that can happen 15-20 years in advance of menopause. It highly recommends natural progesterone as a balancer to hormones that can go wacky at this time - due to our high stress levels, diet, lack of exercise, etc. I haven't finished it, but it had a lot of things in it that made me realize that I am not going crazy.

Another book is Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Chirstiane Northrop, specifically the section on fertility. A lot of great advice on the spiritual aspect of TTC.

She recommends a book called "The Whole Person's Fertility Program" by Niravi Payne and discusses some of what the book trys to accomplish. It leads you through a series of exercises to help you connect to where your mind/psyche is at regarding TTC. One of them asks you to create an esphitogram or basically, a family tree and fill it in with emotional and physical issues of your family members. If anyone has tried this, I would love to hear from you. I think I may buy the book.

Also, "Adoption After Infertility" has helped me. I don't think I will be adopting but the initial chapters go through the feeings and emotions with infertility and put it in perspective for me.

I have more to say about me that I need input on, but it will have to wait since dd is getting ignored and letting me know it. Have a great day everyone!
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#65 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Keri. I will look for those books.

DH and I always considered adoption. I think we'll start classes this fall. In the meantime I have lots going on to distract me.

I am so glad it's a holiday weekend

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#66 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 12:02 PM
 
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Amy

I think the Fertile Heart website has some information on high FSH and what might be done naturally to overcome it.

Hope you have a nice weekend, despite the crappy stuff surrounding you.

Edited to correct grammar, sigh.
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#67 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 02:08 PM
 
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Just a quick post until I can really read -instead of skimming later.

Thanks for all the sympathy and advice. As a point of information-I happen to think I'm quite sexy, I like my body, and think it's damn cute. I just think I could appear in his favorite peice of lingere while doing obscene things to myself and he'd finish taking out the garbage, reading the paper, whatever. He's only turned on after I'm asleep or when he has every single thing done. Okay I'll stop venting now.

s to everyone
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#68 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 02:23 PM
 
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Amy, from what I recall, rising FHS levels indicate peri-menopause (aka pre-menopause). Your RE is probably more sensitive to those levels than your Gyn is -- probably more experience with them. That's not an excuse however - your Gyn should have picked it up earlier! (especially given your charting history, which I'm sure s/he didn't even look at :anger

There's a book at my library on rewinding your biological clock -- I'll try to figure out the name for you, it might help you decide what steps are next.

And Keri, thanks for the book suggestions -- I'm definitely going to look those up!

Dani -- hmmm... good suggestions, but we live in another country, on the other side of the continent now And we've also always been "do new things" type people -- we don't have "our song" or "our restaurant" or "our place" just b/c we've always enjoyed finding new songs/ places But you did give me a couple of things to think about! Thanks!

Belly Blessings!!!
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#69 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 02:41 PM
 
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gonnabe, it sounds like he is a) either a major dork or b) a major dork with a responsibility complex (can't *not* finish something).

Is he the type who wants to schedule everything (even if it's only in his head -- like, "at 6 pm I read the paper, at 7 pm, I eat dinner, at 8 pm I watch X, at 9 pm I take out the trash, at 10 pm, I go to bed..." )? ??? If so, then you need to talk to him about "scheduling GIO." It needn'y be mechanical, just that having a time when it *can* happen would be a good thing
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#70 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 03:10 PM
 
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Well, I'm off to vacation.. going to glacier Natl park for a week. I'll either bleed, or not on the trip.. so I'll update you all when i get back next sunday. I'll miss you all sososoooo much! (pray for the non-bleeding option please!)

Just so you know, I may take a test on sunday, before we leave Spokane (stopping there to visit friends)... so I'llupdate if there is any good news.

The progesterone is making me so dizzy and werid. ... and I have tons of creamy watery CM... hmmm

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#71 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 03:14 PM
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Have fun!!!

I am also off on a trip tomorrow morning...be back on Tuesday!

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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#72 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 03:24 PM
 
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Have fun Korin and Adina! I wish I was away this weekend as my MIL will be visiting. But I will be seeing off-Broadway show of The Producers tomorrow which hopefully will be fun.
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#73 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 04:20 PM
 
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Oh, Amy! I would be stunned to learn that I might be "out of eggs" and previous tests should have clued my gyn into that. What's the point in a doctor specializing in the care of a woman's reproductive organs that they wouldn't know how to put your long cycles and fsh tests together?? Hmmpgh!! : I don't have any recommendations, but all the books that Coleslaw mentioned sound helpful. Sounds like you have a lot of sadness going on in your life - with your cat, your friends, and now this surprising news. Hang in there, honey. Things really do get better!! You are meant to be a mommy and it will happen!!

Alexis - Yes, when my cousin told me that I said exactly what I was thinking - that women are much too hard on themselves and that I thought she looked FABULOUSO at our wedding!!! Yeah, the thinning hair has really worried me. We used to chat quite a bit on-line during work when she was going through her difficult divorce. But now she has a new boyfriend and I haven't seen her in a bit. This might be the reminder I need to call her up and see how she's doing!!

Korin - Dizzy and weird for days does not sound natural. Women who don't have progesterone deficiences probably don't go around feeling dizzy and weird for two weeks post-O. I'm sure you would do nearly anything to be pregnant (wouldn't we all), but please talk to your doctor if the dizziness and weirdness continues (I'm sure since you are a doctor you know exactly what to say!! ). In any case, have a good trip and don't get close to any tall drop-offs!!!!! I don't want to see you in the national news being rescued in one of those helicopters from a cliff ledge by hunky rescue guys. The quote from your husband would read "She said she felt dizzy and weird, but she just had to get a better look at the nesting eagles."

Gonnabe - I agree with Alexis, your dh needs to get a clue or needs some cluing in. You're a sexy hot mama - what's wrong with him???? Sounds like time for one of those "delicate" discussions. If he's good at the scheduling in, perhaps that will work??

Not much new from me. Still waiting to O. I may not sign in this weekend - have a wedding and Bumbershoot (Seattle's annual 4 day music/film/performance art/food fest). I will miss you women. I love this thread - the women here are so experienced and can give such d*** good advice!!!
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#74 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 04:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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my charting history helps, but it doesn't. I've only been charting for 2 cycles (that adds up to almost 5 months) so it doesn't really help. Actually, I never brought up my charting with any docs. I never got to that point.

Anyhow, I'm not going to feel to sorry for myself. We're actually going to have great weather for the entire holiday weekend (it's been a REALLY wet summer) and I am going to the fair and eating junk food. I love County Fairs. This is a mini-vacation for us.

Korin and Adina, have a great time!

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#75 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 04:51 PM
 
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L'Naiym, when I told my doc Iwas Dizzy, she said it was just a normal side effect, and was glad that I was feeling the effects of it this time around. Today and yesterday I have been dizzy all day long... the other days it was just for an hour or so after taking it. Maybe that is a good sign. Coupled with the crazy amounts of creamy/watery cm, and the massive crying jag I had last night while watching John Kerry speak (I'm not that big of a fan of his, i was just thinking of a world where Bush wins again. ) have peaked my curiosity.

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#76 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 04:53 PM
 
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And Amy, I'm so sorry you heard this news from your doc. Hope you find some peace and some better answers.

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#77 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 05:22 PM
 
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Ok, one last thing before I go away...
I called the pharmacist, to check about the dizziness. He said that drowsyness is normal. I guess that's what describes what I feel more. I feel like I had a couple of margaritas, and I'd like to lie down. not really dizzy. so no worries, I'm normal. and probably not pregnant. :

Seeyou all next week!

Mamato Ruby Violet joy.gif(6 with autism) and someone 1sttri.gif who should make him/herself known sometime in the next month.

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#78 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 05:25 PM
 
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Korin - Ahhhhh! Drowsiness! That sounds much better than dizziness. Hope your trip is restful!! Oh, I also get weepy when I imagine four more years of King Bushy. So, I'm not sure it's entirely the hormones!!
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#79 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 05:33 PM
 
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Oh, hand-twin, how I am going to miss you! But I am sending you EVERY SINGLE OUNCE of "be pregnant, be pregnant" energy I can

Amy -- I love your attitude is Have a great time at the faire!

And Adina, I hope your camping trip is fabulouso, too

I'm going to try to get out and enjoy the last weekend of summer with my honey (and our anniversary weekend ) so I'm not sure how much I'll be around either, but I am sending you all: Belly Blessings!

(Oh that reminds me -- remember how it was a fellow bellydancer who got me started on that saying last spring? Well, during this trip I had multiple groups of bellydancers sending my uterus lots and lots of baby dust It was great. One of my friends even bent down and kissed my tummy quickly and said, "come soon baby" -- that made me almost cry! I thought you'd all appreciate it!)
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#80 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 05:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by waiting4baby
Oh, I also get weepy when I imagine four more years of King Bushy. So, I'm not sure it's entirely the hormones!!


However, I also start ranting and raving and foaming at the mouth (OK, not quite when I think about it... so controllable anger is also a perfectly reasonable response, in my opinion.
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#81 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 08:48 PM
 
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Alexis,

Happy Anniversary, maybe you should celebrate by finding a new position.

Amy,

Go get a copy of Inconceviable (please tell me it's Amy who's got the high FSH) by Julie Inchovida. She had secondary infertility and very high FSH and had fertility docs tell her it was all over, and she got pregnant on her own. Fertileheart.com is her website. It will give you some information about the problem, but it may also give you hope.

Chiromama have a great time, and I hope the tiredness abates, or just turns out to be preggo symptoms.

Yes DH is a sweet man whose responsibility complex turns him into a big Dork, especially around sex. I've started the conversation, but it's gonna take a while, and I've never figured out how to be delicate about it, or delicate enough. He's just very repressed, not about sex itself, but about talking about it, and about most things that are pleasurable having to be had only after you've earned them. But having had MIL here for two weekends recently I should be really grateful he's human at all. So while I wait for him to be ready to talk about it, I come here and vent, and you ladies make me feel better.

Back to TTC talk we did manage to do enough GIO to cover my egg, but I realized I'm not having any CM to speak of. All I can remember about trying to increase it is drinking more water. I suppose we could resort to egg whites.

So onto my usual calm 2 ww behavior.
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#82 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 10:10 PM
 
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I posed thsi question in the one thread, but I need some more expert opinions. BTW, I don't think any of these are pg signs. I am just wondering when I really o'd.

OK, despite the fact that I have been at this for so long, I have a cm question. 3 days ago, when FF says I o'd, I thought I might have had watery cm. It was clear and slightly stretchy (about 3 inches). Could that have been semen? I ask because the day before I had nothing, which is weird for me to have fertile cm, stop, then start up again. I'm thinking I got it wrong and actually o'd 2 days before. I can't tell by my temps because my temps are so zip-zaggy which is also unusual. I also got a tiny itsy-bitsy bit of spotting that could have been easily missed (but of course I'm paying attention) which is also screwy for me. I am on Vitex and herbs and accupuncture so I am assuming my body is changing, hence the differences I am seeing. Any thoughts? Thanks!
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#83 of 220 Old 09-03-2004, 10:14 PM
 
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Hi, me again! I found a website related to one of the books I talked about The Whole Person Fertility Program Enjoy!
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#84 of 220 Old 09-04-2004, 12:35 PM
 
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Hi all
I had my HSG yesterday (results are all good) and it went ok. Better than I feared but much worse than I hoped. I had taken a little codein so most was not truly painful (the oil was the worst) but very uncomfortable. I also kept getting weepy and a little short of breath, which made it hard for me to stay clam because I've had anaphylectic shock before, so I always worry about another reaction.
Having said all that, the suckiest part of it is that dh (who was on a business trip in Vegas and lft for burning man yesterday), did not call me to see how I was or say good luck!!!!! He'd better have a good reason (cant think of one personally) and be very apologetic or he'll find his welcome home quite cold.
On the plus side, a good friend kindly drove me there and back, another one had me over for dinner and the nurse and my doctor were super kind. They kept me informed all the time, held my hand, reassured and told me how great I was doing about 50 times! Bless their hearts. The nurse even gave me a hug afterwards.
Question for relationship "experts": am I overreacting by being mad that my dh chose to go to Burning Man for 3 days on the tail of a 3week + business trip. He knew I did not want him to go and the business trip separation was long enough in my mind, especially with TTC! ??? We'll have been apart from 8/12 until 9/6 and for me it would have made a huge difference to have him this week-end since boarders come back on Tuesday and I'll be "on" all week, including evenings....how would you ladies deal with the disappointment without taking it out on him, which I tend to do and it gets ugly...any advice welcome Thanks
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#85 of 220 Old 09-05-2004, 03:46 AM
 
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Well, I am waiting to o as well. I haven't been posting lately, just lurking. Things are going good, we're having more sex and that always makes us get along better.

To all that are doing fun things this weekend, have fun!!!

Marie, Glad you're HSG went well. For me it was the catheter that hurt. Did you bleed at all afterwards? For dh, are you able to talk about it without taking it out on him? With my dh, I tend to over explain when I'm upset and it just frustrates him. So I try to keep it to the point. But I would be mad if I were you too!

Keri, Not sure about the cm. It sounds fertile. I don't think that sperm is super stretchy. And isn't sperm cloudy while cm is clear...I think.

Amy, Good luck with the new GP and Gyn. I haven't read all of the books suggested, but I've heard a lot about inconceivable.

Gonnabe, I hope that dh comes around soon! Some people just weren't brought up to be comfortable talking about sex. Have you already tried counseling? Good luck!

Danielle, fabric artist, mama to Eleanor 5/05 and Charlotte James 09-26-09
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#86 of 220 Old 09-05-2004, 03:35 PM
 
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Marie, there is really a place called 'burning man?' I don't know what to say about him not being there. Sometimes men just 'think' differently, and maybe he thought there was nothing he could do for you?

I concur with Dani that cm if it is fertile is stretchy. Semen wouldn't be stretchy.

I wanted to ask you all about Clomid again. If this cycle is a bust I am seriously thinking about it. What days did you take it? Did it affect your cm drastically?? Will it make me gain weight?? Help!!
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#87 of 220 Old 09-05-2004, 07:03 PM
 
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I have't been around for a few days either. I have been sick and spent last evening throwing up. Every time this happens to me I wonder if I really want to be pg after all.

Velveteen, I was on clomid about 5 yrs ago for 5 months. I think I took it days 3-7. It had a HORRIBLE effect on my cm. No wonder I didn't get pg on it! I have been thinking about trying it again too, but if I did this time I would combine it with IUI's.
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#88 of 220 Old 09-05-2004, 07:04 PM
 
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DH did come around, we had a couple of good talks and a spontaneous promise from him that I am more important to him than this is, and that he wants to work past it. Which of course lead to some wonderful GIO.

I was making myself crazy yesterday with the am I preggo stuff. I was tired, vaguely nauseaous, and my chest looked like a road map. Am feeling better today so I think it was just heat and a bad nights sleep. Plus even at the time I knew it was way to soon for symptoms I'm only about 3 or 4 DPO.

Velveteen,

My intial reaction is to that this is truly temper tantrum material. 3 weeks and then going ahead and going? I'd blow my stack.

On a more rational basis, mitigating factors are that Burning Man is a unique thing that only happens once a year. It's not really like golfing or a concert, so that if its something important or meaningful to him he couldn't do it another time. If he has no control over the timing of the trip, then it's unfortunate that they fell back to back. If he does then he's still in the doghouse. Or if it was just a I want to go see this thing, also dog house.

The really disturbing thing to me is that it appears he did this over your objects but without talking to him about it. I might suggest you write two letters, one where you blast with both guns, and the other where you calmly let him know 1) that this bothers you 2) why it bothers you 3) how much you miss him when he's gone Give him the second one, and try to treat him as you would if he hadn't gone to Burning Man. That is don't blast him when he gets in the door, as if you aren't glad he came home. These are just some thoughts.

I'm glad your HSG went well.
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#89 of 220 Old 09-05-2004, 09:01 PM
 
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Gonnabe, thanks for the advice. It makes sense but I think i'll just try to shut up because I'm still really resentful.
Velveteen: Burning Man is a once a year art/music happening that takes place in the desert. People go and build a city for a few days, do all sorts of crazy art and then burn a symbol of "the Man". At the end, they dismantle and clean up. They have a "leave no trace" policy.
I'm glad you and your dh made up!
My dh had no control over any of the dates and really wanted to go to BM but I'm disappointed that being back home asap wasnt a bigger priority. I'm not looking forward to the "picking up of pieces" I'll have to do when he comes home utterly exhausted, drained and with little to offer in return (as he does after each business trip). It's hard to be sympathetic when I know he's using the last of his energy/strength on things that take him away from us and ttc.
Thanks for reading my vent. Have a great week !!!
M
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#90 of 220 Old 09-06-2004, 01:47 AM
 
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I hope that everyone is having a good weekend. I'm bored so I'll wander around to find someone to talk to. See ya later!

Danielle, fabric artist, mama to Eleanor 5/05 and Charlotte James 09-26-09
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