30+TTC for way too long (March 05) - Page 5 - Mothering Forums
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Trying To Conceive > 30+TTC for way too long (March 05)
chiromama's Avatar chiromama 03:06 AM 03-14-2005
Kara!!! I hope you feel better soon. Man, that sounds awful!

Ary99's Avatar Ary99 12:28 PM 03-14-2005
Korin, is that all we are getting from you? How are you doing?

W4B, you will so have many more dancing bananas coming your way, I just know it.

May-Lily, I haven't had the chance to tell you before how much I get out of your Zen posts.
HaveWool~Will Felt's Avatar HaveWool~Will Felt 01:57 PM 03-14-2005
Korin, I am so stoked about you not having to take Clomid any longer!!! If I could click my heels I would.

CD2 over here....this is my first cycle that I will be using the clearplan. AND this cycle started on its own....no progesterone!!!! It was a 34 day cycle...but I am not complaining!!!!

Feeling pretty positive these days, it helps that my rear is back at the gym.

I am sorry to hear about your news Hilary and Wannab...
This journey has GOT to get better, don't you think?

Hugs all around.
chiromama's Avatar chiromama 03:02 PM 03-14-2005
Ary... I'm not being elusive I'm actually feeling pretty good. R also is suprisingly well... He's not as freaked as I would be. He really wants to figure this out, and we both have this strange feeling that now that we've got an answer, all will move quickly. Who knows..only time will tell.

Jackie.. Congrats on bleeding on your own! 34 day cycle is totally normal!!! Awesome! Lets hope this is a sign of things to come. When are we meeting to knit again??
HaveWool~Will Felt's Avatar HaveWool~Will Felt 03:41 PM 03-14-2005
Originally Posted by chiromama

Jackie.. Congrats on bleeding on your own! 34 day cycle is totally normal!!! Awesome! Lets hope this is a sign of things to come. When are we meeting to knit again??
You are so sweet Korin...
I was thinking the same thing. This week is booked and I will be gone next week, for Spring Break...so the following week looks pretty good for me. Maybe the 29th in the morning, say 9am at Mabel's??? LMK and I will write it in my planner....

HaveWool~Will Felt's Avatar HaveWool~Will Felt 03:43 PM 03-14-2005
Oh, I almost forgot...I still have some natural wool that I plan on dying...maybe we can plan a "dye day" too....think about it.
gonnabeamom's Avatar gonnabeamom 06:13 PM 03-14-2005
I guess you never get good news without bad. DH's grandfather passed away on Friday, and so the weekend was more subdued than I had though it might be. His grandmother is in a nursing home following a bout of pneumonia, and it's not clear whether she'll be able to go back home. I had my first "morning sickness" in the morning today, and it felt like a rite of passage.

What follows is my very long-winded reply to May-Lily's query about what I think helped make this my month. Please skip to the next post if you aren't interested.

So i've been trying to gather my thoughts about what I feel accounts to my getting pregnant this month. I've had a lot of health issues-repetitive strain, followed by chronic pain, which developed into Fibromyalgia. So I've pursued a lot of changes to help get my body back in balance, and ready for pregnancy.

Things I've been doing Long Term
Bodywork: I've been getting something called Integrative Manual Therapy done for a couple of years, and I started doing to deal with some lingering muscle-skelotal problems. It quickly became a more holistic thing and ended up focused on helping me get pregnant again and be able to keep the pregnancy. More than recommending the specific kind of bodywork, I think bodywork with an energetic component (like reiki, cranial sacral, or therapeutic touch) and a person who you feel good about working with is helpful.

Diet: I have for health reason eliminated dairy, gluten, and caffeine. Recently, for fertility reasons I gave up soy milk and refined sugars. I don't think of these as bad foods in general, just ones that don't work for me right now. However anyone here who is hypothyroid as I am should look at the Mothering Article from a couple of months ago on soy.

Supplements: I've been taking prenatal vitamins since before I started trying which was three years ago. I took SAMe for the fibro, and recently added Vitamin E and three supplements suggested by my bodyworker Paraplex, Symplex F, and Phosphatidyl choline.

Drugs: This was my third cycle on Clomid.

Things that helped this month.

I think the Vitamin E and the Clomid were factors. I finished up a big chunk of the bodywork related to helping my fertility. One of the bodyworkers I saw told me last November that she thought "things would be ready in February" Another discovered that I was holding a lot of tension in my pelvic area, and had me squeeze and release it to relax, and to learn how to tell when I was tense.

In terms of emotional psycho-spiritual stuff, there were a few things that felt important. I've been on a big decluttering jag, and I've made some major steps forward so that my house feels more organized than it every has before. We set bookcases in the living room, that store toys and games and puzzles as well as books. I'm figuring out with help how to work with the kitchen I have, which I have always neglected because I hate it. It may seem strange to relate this to fertiliy, but it felt right and important in a couple of ways. I felt freer, and less generally frustrated with "stuff" out of my life. It felt great to have a sucess where I've felt it was hopeless in the past. We've made the house more suitable for a child. And on a Feng Shui basis-we've created space for something new to come into our lives. Working on the kitchen to make it better instead of just wanting to tear out it out, feels like some sort of metaphor for managing my life while TTC.

My marriage has been really good lately. DH and I had a knock down drag out at the beginning of February, and started having date nights after that. (I was feeling very taken for granted) He was solictous when I was sick, and we've just been talking more and laughing more. He's been really good with my Clomid induced mood swings, and it's made me more patient with his mood swings. We've been laughing more and cuddling more and enjoying each other more.

Talking to someone who's been through Infertility and has two kids was a huge breakthrough. It made a world of difference to hold a kid who'd been conceived via IVF, and have someone seem happy and helpful at the other end of the journey.

I also did a lot of things physically that would have been impossible for me two years ago, and felt risky two years ago. I've hiked further, and carried heavy bookcases, and spent three days moving a friend. My health problems had been very destructive to my sense of trust and faith in my body, and the past few years hadn't helped much either. I started to feel like not only having a baby, but toting all the stuff involved was possible.

I've been kind of holding my head up and doing some more stuff that was fun, which made me realized I'd stopped. I was just kind of begining to find things to do, that I didn't completely plan around being or not being pregnant. I'm NOT saying that I suddenly through off the doldrums, and was wandering around in some Disneyesque vision with little birdies on my shoulders going "I THINK I CAN GET PREGNANT, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN" Far from it- I actually told DH I was going to get a therapist because I had a day so bad this cycle I could barely move. It's just that I started to have a little more confidence in my body, a little more faith in the existence of alternatives, a little more of a sense of possibilty, and I think these helped. If they aren't what made me pregnant this month, I do think they helped make waiting a little less gloomy.

And one last thing. For the past two months I've gotten no ovulation signal from my fertility monitor-so we had absolutely no control over correct timing. It had no idea how many DPO I was when I tested, or which night this baby was conceived. Very much a surprise after all that careful scrutiny.
mimid's Avatar mimid 07:44 PM 03-14-2005
After going bananas the last few days wondering if I was imaginging things, there was a 19.5 follicle on the left. My doctor was so excited and the nurse said that this one will work because dh had an appointment and couldn't come with me to the doctors. I'm also at the end of my dental work (6 visits in 5 weeks!) So by the 30th I should have a bfp or

Wonderful post Gonnabe! A lot of for you and hopefully you won't have horrible morning sickness! I'm also sorry to hear about dh's grandfather and grandmother. I know how hard it is to lose them.
Ary99's Avatar Ary99 12:23 PM 03-15-2005
Gonnabe, thanks for the post. I think it hit on some important factors to consider during this process. Sorry to hear your family has suffered a loss and is dealing with a serious illness as well. We lost our grandmother when my sister was pregnant with her first and it was tough on everyone.

Mimid, great news on your follie! Keep us posted! Come on BFP!
polka123's Avatar polka123 12:39 PM 03-15-2005
Mimid - Woohoo on the eggie

GonnaB -
I'm so sorry for the losses to your family. It can all be so hard.

thanks so much for the great getting PG post
Ary99's Avatar Ary99 01:33 PM 03-15-2005
Good morning everyone! I am CD2 and flowin' heavy today (the bed sheets were a crime scene this morning), but resolved to my fate this particular cycle.

I am in the process of purchasing a ClearBlue Monitor from ebay. There are a million available; I'm just waiting for my paypal funds to clear to jump in on the action.

I also re-ordered Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I had the book for years, but finally got rid of it after we had DS. I kept lending it out to friends who would return it in a few months time after they became pregnant and I was left trying to "take charge" of something in my life and my body.

I'm trying not to feel too desperate, but it's tough. I'm turning 35 this year and maternally speaking, I am a marked woman. I keep picturing myself as some mad scientist: I don't have time to mess around, I must scientifically determine the proper day for coitus and determine the exact angle which would properly align us for maximum sperm/egg penetration!

I wonder what it will be like just to make love with my husband and not have the weight of fertility issues hanging over our heads. I long for that liberation. . .
Velveteen's Avatar Velveteen 02:17 PM 03-15-2005
Gonnabe, thank you for that great post. So so sorry about the losses in your family.

I had a good rant in the 40+ thread yesterday, so now I feel better. I'm in the 2ww again and my boobs are doing this sore/not sore thing that was really mind rattling. Back to not sore which is too bad.

Ary, I hope you get the proper alignment this month Just remember you are NOT a marked woman, age is a factor but not the sole one. I coneived at 38 with a one time event, ran to the bathroom afterward, and now I'm all propped on pillows and stationary for at least 30 min .

Mimid; get anything in the mail yet? GO get that EGG!!
Ary99's Avatar Ary99 02:36 PM 03-15-2005
Velvet, you are right once again. I remember reading your recent post about egg quality and it was very interesting. I know there are some things that are certainly within my control, but the final conception part seems just out of reach sometimes.
SweetTeach's Avatar SweetTeach 07:44 PM 03-15-2005
Hey women, I've been lurking the past few days/weeks just trying to keep up with my life (not doing a great job of it) and still trying to process this pregnancy after full term loss, which is no easy thing to do.

I did want to share that today I had my first midwife appt today (2 hours of talking, questions from her and me, and crying (me). It was wonderful. She is so gentle and knowledgeable.

We heard a heartbeat too! It was swooshing along, and I am so happy. I'm 11 weeks along.

I'm following along with everyone, cheers and hugs to all. I will do a personals post soon.

chiromama's Avatar chiromama 08:20 PM 03-15-2005
ST!!!! I'm so very very happy for you!! Now I'm crying!!!
polka123's Avatar polka123 09:28 PM 03-15-2005
how wonderful to hear that HB :
Ary99's Avatar Ary99 09:49 PM 03-15-2005
Great news, ST!! I'm sure you felt a sense of relief hearing a nice strong heartbeat!
shannon0218's Avatar shannon0218 11:28 PM 03-15-2005
Yeah ST!!!!!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!
Velveteen's Avatar Velveteen 11:53 PM 03-15-2005
ST!! That is so fantastic!! Your babe is already so strong!
iris0110's Avatar iris0110 12:05 AM 03-16-2005
ST Wooohooo for a strong heartbeat.

Ary good luck with your alignment this month. :LOL

mimid congrats on the eggie.

Gonnnabe I am sorry about the loss in your family. Thank you for a wonderful and insightful post. for you.

cd 13 here. I think I may have ovulated early this cycle. I started getting nasty cramps Sunday night, and I am still getting some today. I am also getting lots of EWCM. Usually cramps mean O for me. Though really I am not due to O until tommorow or Thursday. Oh well dh and I will just keep busy and see what happens.
gonnabeamom's Avatar gonnabeamom 12:21 AM 03-16-2005
Mimid, Congrats on the egg!

Ary, I am 37. 'Nuff said.

ST, That's wonderful. I have only the tinest clue about how you muset feel, but I identify with the difficulty of integrating a pregnancy after a loss. May all your news be joyful.

One thing I forgot in my super-long missive is visualizations. I had done some on and off, but this month my bodyworker gave me an assignment to visualize my uterus as smooth, pink, and strong, with no thin places. I did this regularly, and added two others.

The first was to see my uterine lining as a bunch of thick healthy, rich red blankets, and I pictured a little fertiltized egg, snuggling down into them and pulling the covers over it's head.

The second requires some back story. A couple of years ago, a good friend was headed into menopause, and having lots of angst about aging. She left a pomegranate on her altar for a long period of time, and it dried and hardened. She started to throw it away, and something made her stop and cut it open-inside all of the seeds were ripe and juicy. So I started visualizing my ovaries as being like anatomically correct ovaries on the outside, but stuffed with beautiful red pomegrante seeds inside. I even pictured them ripening into anatomically correct eggs.

Keep the sticky vibes coming!

Ary99's Avatar Ary99 02:06 AM 03-16-2005
Gonnab, thank you thank you thank you! What wonderful visualizations. The pomegranate story was touching and applicable in many ways to my life now.

I am so excited to hear that at 37 you are healthfully and beautifully pregnant. I truly do not believe we are old on our 30's or even 40's (and you are only really old when you start to believe you are old), but I felt myself succumbing to societal pressure to PANIC at the thought of ttc after 35.

Thank you again for your beautiful post and sharing your insights with us.

polka123's Avatar polka123 11:26 PM 03-16-2005
Gonnabe - great story - thanks ! you are an inpiration

well I went in to have a blood draw to check my Progest.
In some odd way, I hope it's not normal as to explain something ! KWIM?
My LP is avg is 11 days.
BTW - my cd 3 (FSH was it??) was normal
Sometimes I wonder if the nursing is a factor?
SweetTeach's Avatar SweetTeach 12:42 PM 03-17-2005
we have another graduate from our little thread who neglected to inform us that she graduated!

Remember *Amy*?
polka123's Avatar polka123 02:56 PM 03-17-2005
Happy St. Paddys Day

: : : :nana: :nana: : :
chiromama's Avatar chiromama 03:50 PM 03-17-2005
Yeah for Amy!!!! Another graduate!!! thanks for sharing ST
kyle98sean02's Avatar kyle98sean02 04:44 PM 03-17-2005
I am really confused right now. I am on progesterone because of my short LF and constant spotting. it was working really good, but my LF is once again shrinking and I am spotting and bleeding more and more every cycle. I just got off the phone with my midwife and instead of taking progesterone the second half of my cycle, she wants me to start at cd 9. I am concerned that this will provent me from ovulating. I used to take a progesterone only birth control pill and you took a week off. Isnt this essentially doing the same thing?
blessed2bamommie's Avatar blessed2bamommie 01:42 AM 03-18-2005

I just skimmed through this entire thread. I was ttc last September 2003 and have thought of yall often. I almost posted could we have a grads thread. It makes things easier to keep up with folks. I happened to see Heveasouls sig and saw Shannon in diapering. Korin pmed me when dd was born.

Gonnabe Oh Praise God! Here's praying for a healthy baby for you to hold.

Korin. I'm so sorry! But glad you have a dx! I'm sure that the burden off you being responsible for not getting pg is a relief. Now, to pump up those swimmers and you'll be in a due date club in no time.

squeakermansmom's Avatar squeakermansmom 02:29 AM 03-18-2005
just popping in to say Hi! i'm still chugging along. this past week i've been a crazed, worrywort! i worry that my hcg levels aren't as high as they should be, i worry that i don't have any symptoms, and on and on....but lately i'm feeling the need to let go of some of that anxiety. instead of worrying about all of what could happen, i'm trying to just have faith and enjoy the present. usually i'm not a hugely religious person, but it's amazing how this kind of stuff really brings it out in you. i even changed my siggy which for me is a huge step in the letting go of my anxiety. baby steps... :LOL

still thinking of all of you and wishing that you all get your own little bean very soon!
Velveteen's Avatar Velveteen 04:26 AM 03-18-2005
Hey Squeak! I am happy you have changed your siggy too! Really happy for you and your baby is so lucky to have you.

Me: 8 dpo and counting..........
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