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#1 of 7 Old 12-31-2002, 02:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I've been pregnant twice and both times it was very easy. The first time we had sex a lot, and I had to do most of the work since dh isn't in the mood once he's gotten his weekly allotment. He made cracks about how baby crazy I was, attacking him all the time when he thought we were just going to stop using birth control and see what happened.

So then when we started trying again last May, we had sex one time at CD10 and I didn't think I'd get pregnant from that, but I did. DH was actually unhappy that it happened the first month because he just wanted some time to "have fun" before pregnancy and childbirth took over. : Unfortunately the miscarriage.

So now we've been trying since late October, not long, but I've been trying to be really easy about it and not mention ovulation or make him feel like we have to do something at a specific time. I didn't ovulate the first month, I did last month but I didn't get pregnant. It occurred to me that I actually waited too long at that point, and I'm realizing that both times I got pregnant it was because we had sex around CD 11. I'm not really too in tune with when I ovulate, but I think if I wait until after I know it has happened, it's too late.

OK, so trying not to mention it to dh, but then trying to get him to want to do something is aggravating. I asked him last night--he said it would have been a good idea but it was too late at night (it was 10:30, I think). Thought I could snag him this morning, but he was in the shower before I got back from checking on my crying daughter. Now tonight he ate some Carbolite bars which gave him some instestinal distress and is saying no way. So basically I've lost my chance for this month. I noticed the CM and the ovulation pain starting yesterday, it's already probably too late. It's just annoying. He says if we are going to have another child, we should do it soon. This is what he said when I proposed the idea of waiting a few more months so I could lose weight.

So I told him that I'm ovulating now, and he doesn't care, so I told him we can have a November baby instead of an October one. I'm giving up for this month. And I know it is wrong to feel this way, but I don't want to do anything once I'm past ovulation--what's the darn point? My body is most in the mood during the time I'm ovulating anyway.

Then I mentioned that my power went off for a few hours two weeks ago, and people have joked about how I might have a baby 9 months from now. Yeah right! I want to say, "No I won't, idiot, because I wasn't ovulating then!" ROFL, am I crazy or what?
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#2 of 7 Old 12-31-2002, 01:44 PM
 
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You are not crazy!

I get ticked when my dh isn't "in the mood" when he needs to be! : I am like you and am totally "in the mood" around O time, but could happily go without the rest of the month. :LOL I hate feeling so ornery about it though. It makes me stressed and I don't want to make dh feel bad. I am trying to relax this cycle(I said that last cycle too. : ) and make bd'ing FUN again!

Good luck!

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#3 of 7 Old 12-31-2002, 07:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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He came home from work early, and I mentioned it again to him, and he told me that I just want him for his DNA. I told him it wasn't all DNA--I actually am in the mood.

Oh well, I've been trying to keep him from feeling like I'm just using him, but we've had several months of plain fun, so doggone it, yeah, I'm using him now.
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#4 of 7 Old 12-31-2002, 07:34 PM
 
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I feel your pain! It is weird but I think the pressure of performing is getting to DH. I never thought I would be the one who is always ready and he isn't in the mood.
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#5 of 7 Old 01-02-2003, 04:17 PM
 
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My DH said the same thing this month. I think I put way too much pressure on him, betwen taking my temps every morning and the OPKs, I am obsessive about the whole thing. I try to be low key and sensual about it with him, but even I can tell that the intimacy is forced. I'm trying to see it from his point of view, and I have to admit if he were pushing me to have sex with him every day for 5 days straight regardless of what kind of day I've had, I think I would get pretty mad at him. Lately I'm starting to think that charting and OPKs can give you too much information. When you know when you O, sex isn't about being loving and intimate with your spouse, it's a goal-oriented task with the end result of making a baby being the main thing on your mind the whole time. Like walking on the treadmill or something.
I think you all have just inspired me to put up the thermometer and the OPK's for a few months and just let things take their natural course.
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#6 of 7 Old 01-02-2003, 07:13 PM
 
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It's difficult to keep it romantic, isn't it? I've had better luck than some of you, but I think I'm at an advantage because I've always been very horny and MrBecca doesn't like initiating sex so is always grateful when I do!

My intention when we started TTC was to keep my O status a secret from him so he wouldn't feel pressured. I've done that, but after the first cycle I realized it was a mistake to also keep my pregnancy test results secret, because he notices my moping eventually, and if it's gotten to the point that when he asks me what's wrong I begin sobbing incoherently, that's traumatic for both of us! It's better if he knows what's wrong so he doesn't think it's something he did!

I think if you feel charting or OPKs getting in the way, it's a good idea to set that aside and just make love at least every other day. That way you're bound to pick up some sperm no more than 2 days before O, and they surely can hang on that long. And you'll be reducing stress, which is not good for your fertility!

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#7 of 7 Old 01-02-2003, 11:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by EnviroBecca
It's difficult to keep it romantic, isn't it? I've had better luck than some of you, but I think I'm at an advantage because I've always been very horny and MrBecca doesn't like initiating sex so is always grateful when I do!
I've usually been the one to initiate it, but I actually was getting tired of always being the one, just to be turned down because he's too tired, too late at night, ate too much, iisn't in the mood and so on. Then I kind of lost my sex drive anyway, so I stopped initiating and waited to see what he would do. Well, I didn't quite stop asking for sex--I did bring it up at times just to let him know I am available because at that point I felt kind of sorry for him, and I felt like we were supposed to be doing it and how hard is for me to just lie there. Actually, I have turned him down before just because I was too tired as well, so I can't put the blame on him. Now our roles are more "typical" where he wants it more than I do, supposedly, although I think he'd rather I ask since he knows I'll be in the mood. There have been times where I was "really" in the mood, even though we weren't ttc, and I would approach him twice in one day and get turned down. Mostly because he would say that until we start putting our daughter to bed before us and in her own bed, sex is out. I was so aggravated with this situation, but he is very set in his ways. He also says its hard to have intercourse without time to reconnect and be initimate in a loving way and yada, yada, all that stuff that women usually say. ROFL, sorry if I'm sounding crude, it's just that our roles have always been reversed, so to speak, in this regard. From all the mom chat I've had, it always seems to be the woman complaining about the guy wanting it too much.

In any event, we had a fun night last night.
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