I thank both of you for taking the time to respond.
OceanMomma, please don't worry about putting me off. We are sort of at the critical hour in terms of deciding whether to give our doc permission to just go ahead and remove one or both tubes if they meet certain criteria, and every bit of information helps. He's warned us about the greatly increased risk of ectopic pregnancies and has been very honest and realistic about what we will be facing.
For the longest time when I thought my infertility was only related to my PCOS, I never felt alone. I knew hundreds of women with PCOS, and you seem to hear about it more and more these days. Now that I am experiencing this whole "tubal factor infertility," I have to admit, I have felt very alone, as if I must be the only one dealing with this, even though I know intellectually that simply can't be true. So, it really means a lot to me for you to share your story.
On a positive note, we had an amazing 45 minute meeting with our RE yesterday to answer all of our questions. He was open, very honest and very kind. I asked him questions from the Women's Surgery link and I felt he answered comfortably and honestly. He does about 210 laps per year and we discussed his rate of switching from a laparoscopy to a laparotomy and I was comfortable with both his explanations and the figures he gave. Still, the decision has to be ours about the tubal removal and I am still struggling with the feelings of handing over that much control to someone else, it really terrifies me. It is clear, though, from our RE's perspective that if he finds what he expects to find, that we will never get pregnant and IVF would be our only route, in which case it would be advantageous to have the tubes gone.
OceanMomma, if you don't mind me asking, did you have a second lap to remove your one remaining tube? Did your ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage occur after your first lap and were they IVF cycles? They are fairly sure that I have what's called a hydrosalpinx condition. If you are comfortable sharing I'd love to know if you experienced a similar diagnosis, but please don't feel any pressure to share if you're not comfortable with that. I really appreciate all of your support and the hope that you have given me. Suffice it to say that this has really thrown me for a loop and I'm stumbling my way through as I try to make these really important decisions. Thanks again ladies, and please keep posting if you can.