40+ and TTC SPRING on over!! - Page 16 - Mothering Forums

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#451 of 1257 Old 08-20-2006, 10:37 PM
 
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O.K...deep breath, there isn't an easy way to say this. I am miscarrying today.
I have a need to say it to make it real. I am incredibly sad as I thought at 9+ weeks I had a real chance. I have held & will continue to hold this baby in my heart.

I wish as always much luck to you all,
Lisa
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#452 of 1257 Old 08-20-2006, 11:45 PM
 
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Oh Lisa I am so sorry. You will be in my thoughts and prayers through this very rough time.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#453 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 09:09 AM
 
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Oh, Lisa. I am so sorry. It must be so heartbreaking. Please remember that we are all here for you.

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#454 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 10:10 AM
 
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Hi all,

I'm new to this forum. DH & I have been trying to conceive for about 7 months since I had a m/c. I have been charting temps & just started charting the other stuff. I think I may not be ovlulating but still having regular periods. Are there natural ways to stimulate ovulation, besides drugs which I'm reluctant to take b/c I'm still bfing my DD?

Mom to DMI & Silly Apple
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#455 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 10:29 AM
 
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Oh Lisa, no no no!!! This is terrible, mama! I really am sorry. I'm usually just a lurker, but I had to say how sorry I am. This sure is tricky business after 40, isn't it? I don't know if I mentioned it before, but my 45 yr old sister mc'd a few weeks ago. She was 11 wks. Made me really glad when af showed for me. Hang in there mama.

Liz
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#456 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 01:53 PM
 
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Hi, Lisa; I had to come out of lurkdom to give you a too. I don't have much in the way of advice except to hang in there and remember that statistically a very large number (it was 1/3 the last time I was pg but now we have more sensitive tests so POAS.com says it's 1/2) of all detected human pregnancies end this way, no matter how young the mother is.

Ms. GB, I'm totally floored! That's incredible news and if this is your month I'll come back and post my "pro"s of using fresh sperm from a known donor that outweighed all the not insignificant "cons".

Back to lurkdom and sending everyone and changing into my grateful mother of teens hat to remind everyone that all of this is worth it and I wish I was still officially here.

Peace,

~me
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#457 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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Lisa

I'm so sorry.
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#458 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 04:02 PM
 
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Lisa I'm so sorry.

Remember, we're all here for you.
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#459 of 1257 Old 08-21-2006, 10:11 PM
 
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Oh, Lisa. I am so very, very sorry. Its just heartbreaking. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Caren
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#460 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 01:49 AM
 
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Lisa! No! I so don't want this to be true for you. I was so much wanting this bean to stay with you.I am shedding tears for you. It feels so unfair. You are such a gem of a person and such a wonderful mom (I can just tell). I wanted you to mother this little one for the long haul. Will be thinking of you during the time ahead as you move thorugh this great loss. Goodbye sweet little one, you will always be in your mama's heart. Thank goodness for all the love that surrounds you, Lisa, and for all the love you have created on this earth. Take gentle, gentle care of yourself and may all around you do the same. A big hug to you.
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#461 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 02:30 AM
 
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Oh My Goodness MsGB How did I miss that? I couldn't figure out what noordinaryspider was talking about. I had to go back a reread. WOW So is this a potential keeper or is he just helping out the cause. (ok you don't have to answer that but I really do want to know)

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#462 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 10:45 AM
 
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Laurie - potential keeper (if I don't screw it up!)

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#463 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 10:47 AM
 
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and he is cool with you wanting to get PG? OH I am so excited for you. I will be : that this is the ONE

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#464 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 10:57 AM
 
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lisa, words can't describe how sorry i am for your loss.
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#465 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 11:21 AM
 
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Laurie - Yes, he's cool with it. I think I'll hold off on providing more detail for now. We need to develop our relationship privately for a while.

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#466 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 12:35 PM
 
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MsGB, I'll leave you alone about the fresh sperm after I make one little comment/correction.

Quote:
Originally Posted by msgoodbuns
Laurie - potential keeper (if I don't screw it up!)
If HE doesn't screw it up, girl, if HE doesn't. You're a gem and I really hope this works out for you, but please don't give up the Cause or your individuality. I wouldn't even be lurking on this thread if my most current ex hadn't screwed up so badly. I was 35 when I met him and even though HE couldn't have any more biological children, we had money for the bank and the docs and plenty of time before menopause and the whole nine yards back then and three pre-existing children between us. HE chose to waste my time and money and affection playing head games. HE chose to turn a beautiful relationship into something cheap and disgusting and then toss it away like a piece of used bathroom tissue. HE lost the opportunity to be part of a family because HE screwed it up. I was faithful to him to the end and never gave up hope until he kicked me to the curb.

< /rant over >

Now, looking at your chart, I'm making my very first uneducated guess and thinking that you might have been a tad early and might consider BD'ing again if it's not going to cost you $500 for frozen.

JMHO
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#467 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 01:06 PM
 
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Thanks, Spider! I wouldn't have said this one was a potential keeper if I didn't believe that he was one of the few good ones out there. I've been around the block way too many times to know a bad apple from a good one - not that there couldn't be any surprises down the road, but.... I also know that I can screw things up by putting up walls and occasionally being B - y (as can probably all women).

I'm not giving up the Cause, either! We are having dinner tomorrow night, and I'm planning to be alluring and seductive! : Wish me luck!

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#468 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 05:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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First off, Lisa: I am so sad for your loss. This baby was so loved and so cherished. I am very sorry for your loss.

msgoodbuns; This is soo cool! Wow!!

Me: Basically I'm just hangin' out with you guys as I don't expect a pg anymore. It's been too long for me to try with nothin' happening.
However, it's nearly time for me to O and I always get a little hope going.
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#469 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 07:51 PM
 
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Velveteen: your siggie always keeps me going when I feel like there's no hope left; since you're getting ready to O anyway, why don't you reread it and think about it and see if it might just do some good? Can't hurt, anyway.

Me: longer luteal phase this month, more charting but no inseminations so I'm just waiting for a reset before I even contemplate Velveteen's siggie again.

I didn't particularly want a Taurus baby anyway, but Gemini would be cool if things fall into place again. My son and I had some issues that really should be completely resolved before I TTC again, but maybe I'll be back here again for real before too horribly long, maybe even for an attempt at a June due date.

You just never know.
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#470 of 1257 Old 08-22-2006, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ah, thank you noordinaryspider!
You made me feel better.
I always try, I never let a month pass without trying. How can I stop trying?? I just don't invest all the emotional input that I had before, I just can't, it's too disappointing. I have to work toward peace with what I have but still keep on a' trying all at the same time.
This is not easy, it's been a process for sure. However, at my obgyn appt. yesterday, I told her that I am till trying and she said 'well, even at 52 people are still getting pregnant'. She was not particularily encouraging before, so that was rather nice.
I have joined a gym, and decided that if I cannot be pregnant, I can at least be fit!
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#471 of 1257 Old 08-23-2006, 01:33 PM
 
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Can you gals take a peek at my chart and let me know if you think I already O'd or am waiting to O? It's beginning to look like I may have started testing with the OPK's a day or 2 late. Of course, tomorrow I will have a better idea if my temps are up 3 days in a row or if I am still awaitin' that O thang. I usually O around 15-16, but this month I decided to go without Clomid, so that may have affected things. I believe that I used to O a bit earlier with clomid, but then again, my cycles used to be 25 days, not 28-30 days, (although I used to think my LP was 9 days (but that was to spotting day, I think, not AF day)). I don't have any FF charts dating back that far for you to view.

Thanks! Ms GB

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#472 of 1257 Old 08-23-2006, 03:58 PM
 
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Hello we are trying to concieve on our own for the next couple of months. In November we will go for IVF. This will be our second IVF after trying on our own for 3 years our first IVF gave us a daughter on July 12th who we lost to Anen. Does anyone have any suggestions on things we should try now? We are already on a high dosage of Folic Acid 4 mg but are looking for as much other assistance that we can get.
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#473 of 1257 Old 08-23-2006, 04:27 PM
 
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MsGB I think maybe you O'd on cd14 if your temp is up tomorrow we will know. And if so you timed your BD jsut right.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#474 of 1257 Old 08-23-2006, 05:03 PM
 
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Lisa: I am so sorry for your loss. I know when you hit the nine week mark, it seems like it is really going to happen.
I know for myself that a year after my miscarriage at 11 weeks, it still hurts. I saw a baby yesterday that was six months old and I thought ,,,hmmmm,,,that would be how old my baby would be.
It hurts so much I know. I never thought it would hurt the way it did.
So this isn't a "by the way", or a "first off". It's a full heart felt wish that you are being loved and hugged and that this difficult time is being made a little bit better by seeing your children smile and looking outside at the sunshine.
I am truly sorry.
Big hugs from me.....
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#475 of 1257 Old 08-24-2006, 09:46 AM
 
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I wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for their kindness.
It really does help as the outside world is not all that understanding of women
trying to conceive in their 40's especially if they have other children. I am still in the process of miscarrying and it is wearing on me. Hopefully it will be complete soon. I will catch up once all is settled down, incredibly enough in spite of the pain I don't think I am quite ready to give up.

Just a couple of things...Rain..welcome & here is a little rebroadcast of your post (sometimes a post gets lost in the pile)

"Hello we are trying to concieve on our own for the next couple of months. In November we will go for IVF. This will be our second IVF after trying on our own for 3 years our first IVF gave us a daughter on July 12th who we lost to Anen. Does anyone have any suggestions on things we should try now? We are already on a high dosage of Folic Acid 4 mg but are looking for as much other assistance that we can get."

Rain, I am so sorry for your loss.Nothing is harder than that. As far as what I did,I was pretty low-tech...I always take CoQ10 & a good B Complex. Other than that..lot's of exercise & a good diet. I know others will have more advice.

Caren....please update! Your pregnancy is something I & we all could use to hear about!

Take care & good luck everyone..back when I am feeling better.
Lisa
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#476 of 1257 Old 08-24-2006, 10:59 AM
 
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Lisa,
It's so good to hear from you. I didnt realize that the MC was a process taking several days. It takes a strong woman...

I'm glad that you carefully read Rain's email. I skimmed it when it was posted, and didn't catch her loss. I am curious, however - what/who is Anen? Rain, there are a million different supplements, etc you can take. Who knows what it is in the end that really works. Perhaps it's simply patience and luck (plus, of course, good eggs and a healthy, fertile environment). I would also suggest acupuncture and TCM. I believe the combination has lengthened my cycle and balanced my hormones, to some extent. Good luck and welcome to our forum!

As for me, I'm ticked. FF hasn't given me crosshairs yet, but I'm fairly certain that I O'd over the weekend or Monday, and simply started with my OPK's too late to catch the surge. I had the faintest line on Monday morning, but assumed it was the start of the surge, whereas it may have been the tail end instead. Oh, well. Time will tell, as usual.

Anyone else with status updates?

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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#477 of 1257 Old 08-24-2006, 12:36 PM
 
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MsGB I love your No Meds Homeopathic real BD! line on your current chart.
My updates are that I am cd13 no crosshairs from FF yet but I am pretty sure I O'd yesterday We got in another BD which was very nice. We have been so busy this month that we are like to ships passing in the night with no time for a port call. Anyway....

Lisa thank you for reposting Rain's post. I missed that part too. Rain I am deeply sorry for your loss as well. This is a great a place to be to get support and encouragement in your journey.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#478 of 1257 Old 08-24-2006, 01:27 PM
 
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Lisa,

I don't know you but I know how hard loss can be at any stage. I'm so sorry you are going through this and wish you peace in your journey.

Mom to DMI & Silly Apple
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#479 of 1257 Old 08-25-2006, 08:14 PM
 
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Lisa, so good to hear from you. Thanks for posting despite this hard time for you. I am thinking of you as you go through this loss. I hope the physical miscarriage process is easing up at this point. I've been there. I wish you weren't there now. But I know you will move forward and am again glad you are surrounded by a loving family. Thanks also for re-posting Rain's post. You are always so thoughtful even when you are dealing with pain yourself.

Rain, I too missed your post. So sorry for your loss of your daughter to Anencephaly. I, too, was unsure what "anen" meant but looked at your other MDC posts to find out. I hope you are finding support here at MDC, from other web support sources (I see there is a lot out there, which is heartening), and from your family and friends. Having only lost your daughter in July makes this such a new grief for you. I am thinking of you at this very hard time. It also must make it a lot harder just knowing how hard and long you tried to conceive your daughter, and having to go through IVF to do so. I wish you all the best as you begin to move forward.

Besides taking the 4MG folic acid and healing emotionally, I don't know what else to suggest. What I personally do: try to eat as healthy as possible (limit sugar and white flour, for me being small I try to get adequate calories, including protein and fat--though I steer very clear of hydrogenated or partially hyrogenated fats). Eat fruits and veg as much as poss and eat whole grains. I take a preanatal, fish oil (tested for mercury), coQ10, spirulina, extra calcium/magnesium. But that is just me. I think you can make yourself crazy trying to find just the right combo and there probably isn't a perfect solution. So prenatals and folic acid and then just do your best.

All the very best to you. Will be thinking of you in weeks and months ahead.

AnaMom
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#480 of 1257 Old 08-26-2006, 12:14 PM
 
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Hello for the first time!

I'm Meg and I've had the most inspiring past hour reading this thread. You are all such thoughtful and supportive women.

I'm 43 and my husband and I are TTC our second--our daughter is 8 and only this past year have we felt a hankering for one more family member. We had a chemical pregnancy in April and I m/c August 3 at six weeks; just recently have felt like giving it one or two more tries--after that, we're headed toward adoption, most likely.

We're trying to be as laid back about it as possible. My OB did bloodwork for progesterone levels on Thursday and we'll be doing a day three FSH work up, but that's about it. No further conception intervention or meds, other than the old guy taking L-Arginine and tons of Vitamin C and me trying to eat well, exercise, drink heaps of water, continue my pre-natals. I can get pregnant pretty easily, I just don't seem to be able to stay that way. Old eggs! Phooey! We'll see what the FSH says, I'm anxious to hear that news.

I'm at CD23, waiting for AF so I can hop over to the lab and do the day three thing. Thing is, what if day three is on a Sunday? Can I do day two instead? Hm.

Nice, nice, nice to know y'all are around and hoping the same hopes.
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