I was here last year, after we lost our son at 18 weeks - since then we have tried IVF, and failed miserably, but...
the very cycle after IVF we got a BFP all on our own! I am 41 and 2 months, we have had 3 betas, doubling nicely...
so, for this minute I am blissfully happy!
I am so sorry for your loss. Miscarraiges are so difficult particularly after the first trimester. How great that you have conceived on your own after IVF!
I wish you a wonderful "ordinary" nine month miracle free of all excitement except for the good kind. I have had much less than perfect pregnancy history myself but in spite of that have been blessed with 4 amazing children.(my last a few months away from 41.)Congratulations & best wishes,we would love for you to keep us updated as you go along!
I'll let you know what happens. My cycle is always 28 days, so if the witch ain't here by Mon am, I'm testing. She usually sends her dog Spot ahead of her (btw, whoever coined that, I love it!) by 2-3 days, and so far, he hasn't shown his mangy self either. ????????
Amy (Stone Fence), you had asked about onlies - my stepson is an only child (my son is 20 years younger than him and so he doesn't really count as a sibling!) and he is such a wonderful young man! He is sensible, responsible, considerate - a really great person. And although he had wanted siblings as a little child, he grew out of it and hasn't missed them since.
However, it's a matter of temperament, I think. My son (5) is like me - needs people as much as he needs air to breathe. He is really really bored and lonely as an only child. Since he is already 5 I know I've blown it in terms of giving him a playmate, but still, like Lisa said, I want him to have someone to grow up with, someone to reminisce with, someone to help him remember and understand his childhood and his family, and therefore himself. Or as I sometimes only half-jokingly say, someone to compare notes with on the therapist's couch and to help him fit the pieces of the puzzle together as to how he got so screwed up!
The other thing that is driving me is our age - dh is almost 59, I am 42. My son will be growing up with parents as old as other kids' grandparents. I want there to be another spark of youth in the house. Also, he will be young when we are old, and young when we die. I don't want him to have to go through it all alone. Somehow, it feels better to leave two young orphans in the world to look after each other, rather than just the one. Reminds me of the saying that goes something like "A sorrow shared is a sorrow halved. A joy shared is a joy doubled." Does that make any sense?
MsGoodBuns - have you considered getting a known donor, who would donate for free? I have a friend who had said he would (when I was looking for a donor for another friend, who eventually decided to adopt instead), and I think that's what they did with Melissa Etheridge's children - David Crosby was the known donor.
Maybe you could find a really trustworthy good person who would not stake any claim to your baby, but just take an uncle/friend-like interest in him/her instead? Easier said than done, I know, but it was just a thought. Because the sperm bank route does sound expensive.
Well mamas, FF gave me crosshairs at CD 13. I'm not so sure. There is no clear rise. I suppose it's possible and I just had a weak O. I'll try and post my chart in my sig. Tell me what you think.
Summermom, thanks for the wisdom about onlies. DS is very social. He LOVES daycare. He'll like school I think. One day I think I'm at peace with one. The next, I'm not so sure. Also, I wish for another chance to have a great BFing relationship.
Amy,do you use OPK's at all? It might be worth it this cycle as your chart definitely looks pre-O. Have you had any EW CM lately? I usually start my OPK's after that starts. When do you typically O?
Got to run..too nice to be indoors. 8-9 dpo with a temp drop so either a very short cycle or something exciting (or of course some temp blip)ACK...the joys of TTC.
I tried OPK's before and they were always positive.
It feels like forever since I've been on MDC, but it's probably only been a few busy days!
Liz, I, too, am 42 and concerned about peri-menop. Your cycle sounds like my last one: AF was a few days late, and I got a BFN of the HPT. Finally decided to call the doc, went in for a UA, got a script for a blood test, and lovely AF (or Spot, I should say) clearly showed up around dinner time! It seems like once I place the answer in medical science, Af arrives. Hang in there...hopefully you are pg, but if not, take a day to mourn and dive right back in the next day with gusto!
Summermom, thanks for the suggestion re: the known donor. I approached someone I know who is gay and wanted a child (but his partner didn't, as he already had one), and he decided against it. My other good guy friends live across the country, and so airfare alone (to time it at the last minute) would be pricey, too. I haven't asked them, but think it just might not make sense. I just found another bank that is a lot less expensive, and have chosen a donor from there, so it should cost me a little more than half what the other bank cost. That helps ease things a bit! Of course, I wonder how many more cycles I"ll have to do. I hope it's just this next one or two (at the most). I'm on CD 6 today and doing the clomid challenge test, so in a few weeks I should know what my ovarian reserve looks like. My FSH was good last December, but I'm concerned that things may have changed. Perhaps not, though.
I hope you are all doing well. I would love to see more BFP's for the over 40 crowd!
LegalShield Sales Representative. (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee! Ask me about it!) Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47. TTC'd for years. Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!
Sorry this is all about me . Can't seem to think about much else lately : .
My plan right now is to not test until af is late. But then again that is my plan every month and I don't stick to it.
No news here except to say we have Baby Ducks!!!!!!!!!!!!!
they are actually not 'due' till tomorrow, but we have 3 today!
I'm just back from visiting one of my former clients who just gave birth. I was with her all of last night until this morning. The baby was born at 3:30 a.m and as of 5 a.m. had still not been given to the mom because this was a teaching hospital and they were more interested in demonstrating medical procedures than facilating bonding. : It was a totally medicalized, brutal affair, and my poor client is just 15. It was horrible to watch.
Anyway, I'm reeling around on just 3 hours of sleep, but I hope her baby dust rubs off on me! A strange thing - yesterday the fertility monitor showed low fertility, today it showed peak fertility! How can that be? What happened to the high fertility (two bars) days?
I am so totally and utterly exhausted, but I guess I better go wake dh up to do the deed! ... Oh no, do I have to? :yawning:
Sorry about your clients birth...but hope the baby dust settles on you!
Our ducklings are doing great, I have 12 right now with another mallard pecking dutifully out of his shell right now!
I have also had my monitor do that to me once, I don't know why but was glad I at least got that peak on the monitor!
Here's my current fertility situation: Last visit to RE she said: egg donor is the way. Dh is alarmed and needs more convincing to be completely on board. Me, I am of the mindset that careens between Why can't I just accept what life has dealt me and get on with it, and Why the h not--it sounds in many ways like more of a sure thing. Anyway, the psychological screening to become an egg recipient is scheduled for June 16th. It's $450 and I would like for us to decide before then so we don't spend all that money on it and then decide we don't want to do it. What I am posting to ask is: Has anyone been an egg recipient? If so did you take Lupron? If you did take Lupron, what was it like?
I have of course been on line to get an idea of exactly what the process is like but the websites are rather skimpy on the details of what it is actually LIKE. I think dh and I have arrived at the crossroads, finally, of either having another baby or not and my instinct is to gather as much info as possible.
How wonderful to hear from you! I am not surprised that you have found it hard to give up on the idea of another baby as I haven't been able to do that either. My daughter would also benefit from having a younger sibling & has requested one often. I think the donor route is a wonderful to go as you get the benefits of experiencing pregnancy..you get that miracle & all the benefits like nursing! The most knowledgable group of women trying donor eggs that I have seen are at FertilityFriend.com, there is a group called TTC with Donor Eggs. If you would like the direct link I think this should work.http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Circl...orum.php?f=109. You might have to join to visit the forums but I think it is possible to get a free trial.The decision of course, is a very personal one & I hope that you and your husband can come to a choice that you are both comfortable with. I may be moving to
to adoption soon (hopefully within the year we would start the process) but I still haven't given up hope of conceiving. It is so great that you came back...we missed you.
Summermom..I am glad Velevteen could help amidst the raising of her beautiful new duck family.Good luck!
Now the 40's group I previously mentioned is up to 28 pregnancies..we do have hope!