I have made some slight progress with dh..... - Mothering Forums

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Old 02-23-2003, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We talked about it again. I wanted him to know that I didn't want to guilt him into it. Which he felt like I was doing. So, I'm glad I told him that. I also told him that I just wanted him to know how much I wanted another baby.

He again said that he did not want to go through another pregnancy. That when we talked about having kids to begin with we had always talked about adopting. When we had Tracy we talked about adopting number 2. So, if we do decide we want another baby he wants to adopt. Which is fine with me. I would love to be pregnant again BUT the point is that I feel like our family is missing a child. How we get that child is a non-issue. I would be more than happy to adopt....or give birth to my own....it jsut depends on how things work out...ya know what I mean?

So, I just asked him if we did decide to adopt if he would insist on adopting a child that was caucasian. Because I know sometimes that can be an issue. He said he didn't feel like that was an issue either. A child is a child no matter what (which is what I was hoping he would say )

So, I guess we'll play it by ear and see what happens. I don't know if he told me that to keep my mouth shut about having another baby...but I don't think so. I think he really meant it. My plan is to give it a little while and maybe mention it in another 6 or 7 months.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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Old 02-23-2003, 05:31 PM
 
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Megan,

That's great!
And you'll see, six months will fly by in no time!
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Old 02-23-2003, 10:29 PM
 
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Megan, I'm so glad to hear that you have made some progress with your dh!

Wishing you all the best,

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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Old 02-23-2003, 11:37 PM
 
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Sounds like good news!!

But why may I ask does your Dh not want to go through anothr pregnancy?

Chelly
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Old 02-24-2003, 12:35 AM - Thread Starter
 
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In all honesty, I have NO idea. But he told me that it was hard on him..I'm not sure how since I told him hardly anything cause he jsut didn't seem into it. But I'm not pushing the issue. I figure in 6 months when I bring up the whole baby thing again I'll ask.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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Old 02-24-2003, 12:37 AM
 
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Megan- sounds like a really productive conversation. I hope that your family is soon blessed with another child- what a lucky kid to be so wanted by you! Good luck
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Old 02-24-2003, 02:29 AM
 
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megan

it seems funny that he would say he doesnt want to go another pregnancy, sounds to me like a cop out .. maybe he had a hard time adjusting to fatherhood. my husband did. (we now have 3 and hes a great dad!). the way to help that is to get him more involved but dont push it, and make him feel like he is a good father ... by not jumping in to help every time the baby cries (this was one problem my dh had.. he felt like i was always criticizing his parenting skills)

anyway im rambling, but that excuse he gave was lame! (sorry!)

mel
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Old 02-24-2003, 03:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I understand why he said it. I had a lot of problem with swelling (stretch marks on my feet and neck ), preterm labor, and a very hurried unexpected c/s.

I know that it isn't a good reason and he didn't offer more than that. But I know that when the time is right he'll let me know. And I'm fine with that.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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