who knows you are TCC? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 02-26-2003, 05:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello!

I was just thinking last month how I made such a big deal to my coworkers that I was TCC (had m/c 2 months ago)...some of them really got into it with me ie...asking when are you going to test...etc. When AF showed up...I almost felt embarrassed that I made such a big deal about it.


I've decided that I'm not going to "announce" it anymore and just go with the flow....when I get a BFP again...then I'll tell people.

Just curious about all of you...

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#2 of 11 Old 02-26-2003, 06:00 PM
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I have told some people.

I told a bunch of people at work - partially cause I have to let them know - since there will be things I can't do. Also because one of the other gals there is pg and when she announced it - I had to leave quickly....that whole crying thing.

My parents know I am not preventing - but no one knows that I am actively trying.

My two best friends know.

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#3 of 11 Old 02-26-2003, 10:12 PM
 
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Way too many people know with me. Almost everybody I take care of knew I had a mc and so they were all wanting to know when I would ttc. So most of them know we are "trying". I try to down play it though. I feel it puts too much pressure on. I actually told my MIL that we decided not to try right now so she would stop with the "trying to be a mommy" bit. On my more moody days that would make me feel and.

I have laid off recently with the trying so hard so I am not going to really say much until I, hopefully, get pg and start showing. Well, there's a few people I would tell...

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#4 of 11 Old 02-27-2003, 12:16 AM
 
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DH and a few select friends... oh yeah, and all you ladies on the Internet.
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#5 of 11 Old 02-27-2003, 09:22 AM
 
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I've told my mom, my sister, my best friend, three friends at work (two have young children and one is also trying...we eat lunch together so it just came up in conversation) and of course all my MDC friends!


DH really wanted to keep it our secret until it happened and then "surprise" but I just couldn't do it.

Other people have asked when we are going to have a baby and I've just sort of alluded to....oh, we're moving in that direction....hopefully sometime in the near future (not that it's any of their business really). It's amazing to me how many people casually ask such a personal question. (Sorry I know that's off topic....but just something I'm very sensitive about these days.)

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#6 of 11 Old 02-27-2003, 09:27 AM
 
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Very few knew but then I lost the ectopic.

Now everyone knows. Even my boss.
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#7 of 11 Old 02-27-2003, 07:30 PM
 
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About half of our friends know but are not being kept appraised of every tiniest detail. I've been a little surprised at which people I've told and which people I've refrained from telling when related topics came up, but it hasn't been a problem either way. It's a little strange because none of our close friends are parents or planning to be anytime soon, so this is pretty far removed from their experience. It's kind of lonely.

My brother also is in the "knows but isn't following closely" category. Our parents don't know. In the case of my parents, it's to avoid listening to my dad ranting about not wanting a "bastard" grandchild until the last possible minute. : In the case of MrBecca's parents (and all his relatives and the friends who are "his" not "ours") I've been careful to leave it up to him, and as far as I know he hasn't told anyone. I know he hasn't told his mom because she'd be all over us w/"helpful" advice! :

I have two former co-workers I see regularly, who both would like to hear every detail. One of them just started TTC, and I enjoy talking w/her and love the idea of being pregnancy buddies; the only thing that gives me pause is that she's always had textbook cycles and I'm a hormonal freak, so she might get pregnant right away and have her baby while I'm still trying, and that would be hard to handle!! It might be worth it tho to have someone to talk w/IRL who's in the same situation. The other has a toddler and is eager to be my role model and would be good at it in that she's an AP WOHM, but she's fixated on "enriching" her baby by buying a lot of stuff I don't think is necessary, and she's all but trying to talk me into infertility treatments which I really want to avoid if I can, so I don't know.... At this point, I'm keeping both of them posted!

I haven't mentioned it to any current co-workers because I don't want anyone worrying about my commitment to my job until the time comes.

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#8 of 11 Old 02-28-2003, 12:15 AM
 
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Everyone at work knows I'm trying. There are three already pregnant at work. My friend just had her baby on Mon. and she knows we are trying. DH's family knows.
My mom knows the problems I've been having(don't know if she has told dad) and that we would like children. Brother knows we are not preventing. And friends know we are not preventing and really want a baby.

It is kinda lonely being the only one ttc in a circle of people. Every now and then at work someone will ask if I'm pregnant yet. This suck's. I say "no, not yet". I wish now that I didn't tell anyone we were ttc. We only got to try 2 times and then my cycle went all wacky. Hope it gets on track soon.
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#9 of 11 Old 02-28-2003, 01:10 AM
 
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One of my friends at work knows, and two of my other friends kinda know I've been thinking about it.........

We also told FIL and MIL that we were Thinking about it.....

And of course my sister knows ever little BIT of info........ :LOL

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#10 of 11 Old 02-28-2003, 10:34 AM
 
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I told friends when we started trying 8 months ago, and some of our family figured it out on their own. But we don't talk about it anymore since it's taking so long.
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#11 of 11 Old 02-28-2003, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I've enjoyed reading all your posts. I'm finding I'm "calmer" this time around...CD7..so just waiting...but I'm not going to say too much, unless someone asks. It is a little embarassing (and maybe it's my own hangup) when it "doesn't happen" that month.
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