TTC 12+ Months August! :) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 11:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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A new month! Lets keep the coming!!

Laura, Mama to Mya 7/02, Ian 6/07 and Anna 8/09
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#2 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 11:31 AM
 
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Mom to ds (7/02), dd(2/04), ds (9/07), and dd 9/09
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#3 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 12:08 PM
 
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Wow, can't beleive it's August. July has felt like such a whirlwind.

Thanks for starting the thread Laura!

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#4 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 01:47 PM
 
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Hi everyone.
Sorry I haven't been posting much. I've been reading off and on. I really don't think I can handle ttc anymore so I've been trying to stay away because being here reminds me of ttc. But I miss you all.
I am so thrilled for all of you who got BFPs last month. I really, really am.

Unfortunately, last month was probably the worst month of my life : : : : This is closest to how I feel and I really don't want to bring the rest of you on this thread down, so I'll stick to lurking until I am ready to be happy again.

Much love and happiness to you all.
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#5 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 03:33 PM
 
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Astrid-we're here for you if you want to talk but I understand if you don't want to. Hoping this month is much better!
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#6 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 03:42 PM
 
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Hi!
I am in the club. We've been trying to conceive #2 for 2 years. I had a miscarriage 2 years ago. Nothing since. I had blood work done, my dh was checked. The next step is to go to IVF clinic. I will make an appointment next month. It's hard to keep hoping every month, and I feel like giving up! My heart goes out to all the "not mamas...yet" as well as everyone who has lost a child.
Thanks for starting this thread.

My sweetie and I have a lovely little lady 07/02 and 3 cats
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#7 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 05:58 PM
 
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Astrid, is there another place we could meet and connect on other fronts besides ttc? I care about you and hope you're alright. ttc can lead to some very dark places. I also have been there when a flurry of bfps comes in. It hurts - a lot. There are so many conflicting feelings. I have been worrying about posting here, but I miss you guys so much.

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#8 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 07:02 PM
 
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Astrid~ I'm so sorry that we're in similar space. :
I could've written your post. s
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#9 of 220 Old 08-01-2006, 07:49 PM
 
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Astrid- I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time. Please don't worry about bringing us down...I think many of us have been in similar places and were fortunate to have had others to help boost our spirits and are all too ready to give somebody else the support that we received when we needed it. You have many friends here who want to help whenever you are ready.
Sky

Mom to ds (7/02), dd(2/04), ds (9/07), and dd 9/09
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#10 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 03:16 AM
 
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Astrid: Ok, granted I'm a newbie and I don't know anything about your ttc journey, but I have to agree w/ everyone else. When they say don't worry about bringing us down, really don't worry about it. Part of the process of ttc 12+ months (some of us with various IF challenges) is not always as hunkie dorie as we're led to believe growing up. There are obstacles for some of us and it sucks - alot. You shouldn't feel that you need to sugar coat your feelings or hide your true emotions. You never know who shares your concerns/feelings, but was just afraid of speaking out. Who knows by sharing your thoughts, you may be helping someone else cope w/ the same thing.

Someone today told me that I'm 'a little obsessed' with babies. I really don't know what to make of that. I didn't think that I really was talking about babies so much. But considering that in the last 20 months, my sister and a friend have each had babies and my sister is pg again - they've kinda been in my life lately. Nearly everyone I grew up with has at least one as well. I didn't realize trying to reclaim my body from PCOS so I could have functioning cycles, made me 'obsessed.' : I didn't know what to say, in fact I was kinda speechless. Ok, I was thinking, retreat, retreat! And hang up this phone ASAP!! But then she went into the diatribe about how if/when dh and I are "meant to have kids" God will make it happen. : So, I guess trying to help the guy out by making sure I'm ovulating is against the rules? Now I'm not trying to start a religious arguement, because everyone has their own opinions about it, and I'm not sharing mine - but I'm just tired of stupid remarks. The worst part is that this person has had at least 5 mc's of her own since I've known her (3 years). :

I dunno what to say. I feel kinda stupid. I started my new job today and had a blast all morning and then got a call from dh. He's being a jerk so my mood immediately went into the toilet. (I dunno if I WANT to have kids w/ him. : ) Add to that my friend's remark. Ugh. I think that dh subconsciously knows when I'm o'ing or could be - and purposely becomes a raving lunatic around that time - so I want to do anything but dtd w/ him.

Just sign me, A little obsessed in Arizona. :

~T | head-strong ap mama to 2 fur-kids | TTC since 2001 | remembering angel2.gif 8/00, angel1.gif 5/04, angel1.gif 1/07 & fur-kids, Apollo (04/03-12/09) & Bella (04/06-06/12)
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#11 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 10:33 AM
 
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Just found out that yet ANOTHER person at the school I teach at is pregnant. This makes number FIVE...all due in the upcoming school year!! I've been trying to be relaxed and happy for all these people, but it really seems that anybody of childbearing age is pregnant except me!! Five showers to attend, five baby gifts to buy, five million smiles to plaster on my face. : :

Sorry to vent, but right now it seems like this news is the proverbial straw. Worse yet, I have a meeting with the latest pg. woman in less than an hour. She doesn't know I know she is pg, but she is one of the few people irl who knows we are trying. It is really a no win situation for our meeting. If she tells me, I'll have to try to put aside all my selfish feelings, smile, and be excited for her. As you all know, this is emotionally exhausing work. If she doesn't tell me, I will feel like she is pitying me. I hate feeling like this!! It may drive me into lurking mode for a while.

Mom to ds (7/02), dd(2/04), ds (9/07), and dd 9/09
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#12 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 11:35 AM
 
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skydancer: I know how you feel. In those situations I just put on my strong willed face and bring it up first. I find that if I feel in control of the conversation I don't get as emotional. Sounds silly I know, but it works for me. My older sister is pregnant right now with her fifth. When she told me she knew we had been trying for over a year and she said, "it's not like i was trying, I don't even want anymore kids." And then proceeded to remind me of how she was unhappy about her pregnancy and didn't really want the baby for the rest of her pregnancy. grrrrr. I feel bad for the baby though since she's not excited about it, and our whole family has been waiting for me to have the next so they're not really into her pregnancy either. Oh well, I know I'll love the little bugger.

On another topic. I'm getting close to o on clomid cycle #2. In normal cycles I would feel pressure and pain, but in these clomid cycles it is almost unbearable. It's better when I lay down, so maybe I'll just rest the next couple days. Anybody else experience pain with ovulation and have tips on how to ease it? Thanks!

Urban homesteader married to my high school sweetheart, mama to V(4/07) and H(6/10)

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#13 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 12:26 PM
 
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Sheesh, I feel like I have totally brought this thread down.

You know how we talk about this journey being a rollercoaster ride, well I went on the ultimate ride last month. I'm not ready to talk about it because I will cry and I'm so tired of crying.

It has nothing to do with the BFPs here, please know I speak these words from my heart. All the BFPers eventually leave here and it makes me sad because I feel like I've lost a friend.

Beemama I'm so sad that anyone else has to feel like this.
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#14 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 01:36 PM
 
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Hey Astrid, sometimes we all feel like we bring the thread down, but then everyone stands by our side to tell us it just isn't true. I am so sorry that you had such a terrible month and that you're still feeling the pain.

I feel the same way about losing track of the ones who leave the thread. It kind of makes the journey harder.

Beemama, I'm sorry you're having such a hard time too. I know that your soul-searching will yield brilliant rewards and am proud to be your friend while you search.

fierr, sky, marie - i hear you on those experiences. people do say really stupid things, and it is never easy to take it when lots of people announce their pregnancies! (ok sometimes even one really sucks). marie, i find that heat on my belly and lower back really helps when doing those medicated cycles.

celeste terra, single wohm to twin toddler boys max and shoghi. bamboo village press
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#15 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 04:13 PM
 
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This is an impossible group to graduate from. We all become so close and share so much. It's difficult (if not impossible) to find the support and comraderie that is here.

But then once we get our BFP, because we know how long and arduous the journey is, it's difficult to stay and share and give support without feeling awkward.

I love it here, more than any other thread or group I've participated in. But I also know how hurtful it can feel having a newly preggo hang around.

I wish we could form some other entity where we could all go as friends. . to talk about whatever. . Whether ttc, not ttc, pregnant, not pregnant. To be who we are. . .

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#16 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 04:21 PM
 
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Astrid - No you did not bring the thread down. We all go through low patches. . even outside the world of TTC. Better to acknowledge it than put on a smiley face.

For instance. . .I'm having one b*tch of a time with this freakin progesterone supplementation. Sure the shots suck, but worse is the feeling low. Like nuts, like I'm going to lose it. The thought of having to feel like this for another month makes me extremely nervous. But I have a hard time thinking about talking about it on the DDC boards.

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#17 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 08:01 PM
 
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Astrid, I'm sorry it's so hard right now. I have been a member for about two years and am one of the original members of the 12months+ thread. I know the bittersweet feeling of someone announcing a pregnancy. Before that all we had was the One thread were people get pregnant faster than I can burp. I hope you find peace and hope in your journey.

Fierrbug: "obsessed"? whatever...this person has created a wall of numbness and judgment against her own pain and if it helps her good for her but why the hell project on you??? it's inappropriate and hurtful. I'm obsessed, I think most of us are obsessed. You know what there is a benefit to being obsessed: sometimes it gets you pregnant. I have done hours of research and had so many hard talks with dh (who refused to even consider IVF until a few months ago). My obsession saved my sanity (what's left of it) and gave me some sense of direction if not "control". Obviously there's not much to control to be had in this torturous journey. I just educated myself on the science and terminology and new methods. I took care of myself with therapy, acupuncture, exercise. Everything good I did I did in the hope it would take me one step closer. Everything bad I did to numb the pain. This has ruled four years of my life. And now I feel both so strong and so scared and if someone said sh*t like that to me I would let them have it!

Bemommy: is there a reason you're doing shots and not vaginal sups? I have very few side effects and my progesterone was already at 161 on Monday...

mariew: I like your take charge method...I'm trying to find some good ways of dealing with questions if I start showing before I'm ready to share. I feel like I'm showing already! any ideas smart woman?

Sky: I have also been surrounded by pregnant women at my school. Like 10 babies in three years and people constantly asking when I'm having one. Even students!!!! Arggghhh. I stopped going to baby showers long ago. There's a couple people I dont really talk to anymore beyond hello/goodbye due to their prying. Sc*w them. I don't care. I have friends, I have family. I dont need to like everyone and I decided long ago that anyone insensitive or clueless like them but old enough to vote is not on my Christmas (or baby announcement!) list.

Lilianna, welcome!!!

((((Celeste)))))

Surfmama, OT mama, Mav, YoBecca, Meggles, everyone else: big hugs and thanks for the smilie parades. It's so unreal that they're for me this time!

Howz that for personals from the #1 personals renegade???

my update: hcg almost tripled in two days. Happy happy happy. Maybe that's why I'm feisty! Love to all

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#18 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 08:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by May-lily
Bemommy: is there a reason you're doing shots and not vaginal sups? I have very few side effects and my progesterone was already at 161 on Monday...
I was on the vaginal suppositories. They were great but my number was only 11.5. On the shots for 2.5 weeks and my blood level has risen to 24. Wish my level was 161. . then I wouldn't be freaked out about another m/c or even worse (to me anyhow) that the progesterone is sustaining a pregnancy that I would rather not sustain.

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#19 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 09:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bemommy
I wish we could form some other entity where we could all go as friends. . to talk about whatever. . Whether ttc, not ttc, pregnant, not pregnant. To be who we are. . .
there was a time when some of us tried to form a "tribe" - but it wasn't everyone's first thought to go there instead of here... but i'd be willing to try again if there are others who would like to. you've got to be ready for others to join, tho... but in here that's always ok, so...

May-Lily, those are incredible numbers! TRIPLED??? that's a beautiful beautiful thing.

I have a wicked headache. going to go to bed early tonight.

celeste terra, single wohm to twin toddler boys max and shoghi. bamboo village press
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#20 of 220 Old 08-02-2006, 11:53 PM
 
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Astrid Even though I don't know you I'm another person here to listen. I'm new to the group but can tell these ladies are around for the good, bad and ugly. TTC truly tests our limits of patience and sanity.

be are you having any luck using a heating pad after your shot?

Celeste any updates this week?

I hope everyone else is hanging in there for August. There sure are a lot of people to keep track of in this group. Forgive me for leaving people out

My body confuses me and frustrates me. I used to have lots of EWCM and over the last few months its kind of disappeared. So this afternoon there was a EWCM sighting and I got all excited. Nothing since then. I get so little of it I wonder if its any good. And if I get a combination of sticky & EW how do you document it onFF.

Leslie, mama to Paige 8, Zara 3 and Audrey, Sophia & Nina June 7/11 @32.6
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#21 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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forgive me for a quick off topic post....my dh convinced me to join a motorcycle forum he's on and I got a motorcycle too that I'm learning to ride and so I told him he should check out MDC since this is my favorite site so he did! He is registered as SurfDaddy. He and I are definitely opposites...he is much more outgoing and funnier than me. He also knows how to post pictures so I'll link you to a thread with pictures of me, him, and our little one if you're interested. Okay my off topic post is done
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=492044
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#22 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 12:47 AM
 
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surf mama, those pictures are great! I want to surf now but I live on a lake and the waves just aren't big enough.

I'm feeling a bit better tonight so maybe I will soon be able to come back and explain why I'm so down. I know you all would understand but sometimes this just doesn't even feel like my life.

Thank you all for your kind words.

I would like to try another tribe too Celeste. I would hate to lose touch with you, Be and May-lily (and any others who have or will soon get their bfps)
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#23 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 01:04 AM
 
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Astrid-I hope you keep feeling better each day!

celeste-I would be interested in a "tribe" too. I need to move on from this thread until (and/or if) we ttc again. But all of you are so special that I just can't leave.
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#24 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 07:57 AM
 
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Would another tribe somewhere here on MDC be a good idea. . or maybe a yahoo group or something similar. . Trying to think what would make sense and what would work best and stay active?

Sorry I was cranky yesterday. I keep biting DH's head off and then being sweet and nice the next minute. I'm going loopy :

Be, happy momma to Liberty (12-31-02), Henry (3-17-07) and Prudence (7-02-09)
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#25 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 09:09 AM
 
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surf mama!! Thank you so much for sharing those! It was such a nice way to start the day. So neat to "see" you & your family!

I want in on the next group! I just need to take the focus off of TTC & just coming *here* is bad for my head, because not only do I have to come to the TTC forum, I have to hover around the flippin' pregnancy forum.. it's just too close for comfort.

s for anyone who needs 'em. Blessings! Kelly
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#26 of 220 Old 08-03-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beemama
I want in on the next group! I just need to take the focus off of TTC & just coming *here* is bad for my head, because not only do I have to come to the TTC forum, I have to hover around the flippin' pregnancy forum.. it's just too close for comfort.


We are going to the island for holidays this fall and if we go to Tofino I'm going to try surfing. Apparently there is a woman's surf school there I need to do more stuff for me now and dh is so supportive of this. What a guy.
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#27 of 220 Old 08-04-2006, 10:20 AM
 
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Everyone's been so quiet . . . .

I'm pretty sure I finally o'd so now we wait . .

Last night I felt so down, I think it was just the meds but man. I couldn't stop crying. I just kept thinking that we're never going to have a baby, and I can't keep putting myself through this crap if it's never gonna happen. I know real good positive attitude for the tww. I'm usually in such a good mood around o time.

I feel better today, so I need to get back to sewing diapers for my sister. (I just couldn't bear to look at them last night) Sorry to be such a downer. Did anyone else have clomid, or any other meds, do this to them?

Thanks for being there to listen

Urban homesteader married to my high school sweetheart, mama to V(4/07) and H(6/10)

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#28 of 220 Old 08-04-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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Remember Ursula Rose? She made an announcement today!!

Crying happy tears over here!
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#29 of 220 Old 08-04-2006, 05:02 PM
 
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Thanks for the link Beemama...so great so hear happy news Ursula.

mariew: clomid can make the luteal phase much harder...I did not really notice it but then, I always had pretty crappy pms. I'm glad you feel better today. Be gentle with yourself. Not to tell you what to do but after a while I got pretty good at eliminating baby stuff from around me when it was too painful. I guess it may not be an option with your sister's situation...I guess another way to look at it is that that's a lot of good baby energy around you calling your baby to you.

this surfing talk makes me wish I'd given it a shot when I lived close to the water...now it's a 3 hour trip...oh well, I hope to move in a few years and be closer to both my hometown and some good body of water.

A tribe thread is a nice idea. I'm still too shy to look at the DDC's and I will probably eventually feel out of place here, so that might be a good option...

Lesliesara: about the ewcm thing...I never had much. Used Pre-seed.
Some people use raw eggs but dh screamed when I suggested it. As for charting different kinds on one day I think you're supposed to enter the most fertile kind of the day.

Hugs to all

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#30 of 220 Old 08-04-2006, 05:12 PM
 
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HEY! I don't come to MDC much these days but I logged on and saw the great news that CELESTE and MAY LILY are expecting!!!!

Congrats, women. Sending you the most wonderfullest positive vibes I can possibly send!
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