Oh mama. Thanks for coming here and sharing with us and letting us contribute to you.
I am in the same space as you, or almost. I miscarried last month and I am worried that when I become pregnant again I will spend the pregnancy worried about miscarrying.
Honour and respect your feelings, all of them. Don't suppress the joy you feel out of your fear that it will be invalidated by a miscarriage. And don't suppress the fear that you feel - come here and let us hold you up when you need it. We know where you are and we will hear everything you say with love and respect.
None of us know, really, how long any of our children will be with us. Sometimes I think my miscarriage was a gift from that baby - a lesson in how not to take life for granted.