I guess I don't see anything wrong with it but I would think after awhile of ttc this way to get the sex you want ....hehehe..... it would be disheartening since your window of fertility is smaller.
I have a friend who is 7 months pg with a boy. She is VERY upset that she isn't having a girl and she is very vocal about the fact that she is NOT happy! It makes me sad for the baby.....anyway, she blames herself cause they were using the gender selection and ater several months she counted 15 days and they had sex based aroun that and she got pg that month.
Is really trying this setting yourself up for major disappointment or do ppl really get that upset when not having gender they would like. Dh and I wanted a boy and we had a boy but we would have been excited to have a girl too. I knw several ppl that have been upset for even months after baby was born because they weren't the right sex.
I guess it just really aggrivates me.....be happy with what you have...a healthy baby! I tried to tell her she wouldn't be as upset as she thinks but she is determined to be mad about it
So, are you trying for a certain sex of baby....or a baby no matter the gender...(thats a good poll topic....)
We are planning to start TTC this summer and I have no plans or desire to try for one or the other. I just plan on bding and seeing what happens. I'll take whatever God blesses me with. What I will do different this time, is I plan on NOT finding out the gender before birth. I have always wanted to know the gender in the past, but this time, I really want to be surprised.
|Originally posted by jbcjmom
What I will do different this time, is I plan on NOT finding out the gender before birth.
Just thinking about it now makes me cry. Dh always says that there are few true surprises in life and this is the best one! (kinda surprising coming from him )
So, I applaud your patience in not knowing and your desire to NOT know!
btw...I don't care either..I just want another baby!
I think it's fun to try for a certain sex but it shouldn't be taken too seriously. A baby is a blessing no matter what and gender preference should not be high priority. I couldn't imagine myself upset about the sex of my baby.
At the risk of uttering an old cliche, most parents feel differently once it's born, or they've bonded, which can take months. Some parents relate more fully to their kids when they're much older, like 6 years!
Of course it's just one of the first lessons that your children are their own selves and not your property, to be exchanged for a more desirable model. I just wanted to point out that there isn't anything wrong with preferring one gender to another, or feeling disappointment, unless it gets out of control or interferes with accepting the baby. I do think finding out the sex ahead of time seems to make such disappointment worse for some people, because the high of birth can make that preference seem trivial in the face of a real live baby.
I want a girl, my Dh wants a boy. We will hopefully be finding out in a couple of weeks (I'm so impatient! :LOL)... but it doesn't really *matter* which sex the baby is. Its a bad idea to be TTC'ing if you're going to be horrible upset about the child being one sex or the other. Its the *baby* thats important... but saying all of that I might have a moment of disappointment if its not a girl... and I really REALLY feel bad to say that, but I know it might happen. I also know that I'm already going over all the reasons boys are wonderful, and warming myself up to a boy too because I just want to be happy about it either way!
Thats one of the major reasons I want to know prior to birth... I do not want any sort of disappointment clouding our child's birth. So we try to find out now, and I take some time to mentally adjust my mental picture of our kiddo if its a boy...
My Dh says that its silly to get disappointed about the baby being one sex over the other, so I'm not worried about him being upset or anything... I did tell him that I would possibly be a bit disappointed momentarily, and while he doesn't get it, he's accepting of that... But I'm hoping and thinking that finding out will be so exciting and will allow me to feel even more bonded to our kiddo that I will only be all smiles and happy!
of course I can say that becauuse I really wanted a girl and have three now. i think if I were surronded by all boys I would still be holding out for a girl.
On finding out: This time we tried to find out because even thought we wuould have been tickled to have a boyu we just couldn't fathom havong a boy. We just kept trying to picture our baby as a boy and it hjust wasn't there, The ultrasound was inconclusive. We picked an awsome boys name and were a little dissapointed that we didn't get to use it It just didn't fit our girl very well.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
I found out with DS but DH did not. I told no one, it wasn't as hard as it might seem. I had really horrible anxiety throughout pregnancy and I just NEEDED to know. It made everything so much more real and gave me a firmer connection to DS, allowing me to believe that everything would be okay.
You do what you gotta do!
We have 2 little girls and we are pregnant with our 3rd child. Don't know what we are having, and I don't want to know - although I think dh would this time (and he has always been definite before about NOT wanting to know). I think he will be more disappointed than I will if we have another girl.
Having had 2 girls, I would love to have a boy this time. And we were going to informally 'try' for a boy, before we got pregnant before we could start trying. But I also think it is something you shouldn't take too seriously, or you can set yourself up for a lot of disappointment.
That said - I'm another one who really wanted girls, and I now have two of them. So I'm not that worried about what I have (although it would be fun to have a boy). As Lilyka said, though...if I'd had two boys, I think I would care a lot more about having a girl this time...
|Originally posted by its_our_family
She was so MAD! I was telling her that she'll be excited no matter what once that baby gets here....but she disagreed. She talks so mean towards this unborn baby and I wonder if it is because of his sex.......
Of course I think we all agree that having a healthy baby is the goal - but it is normal (I think) to have a preference one way or another.
Dh never seemed to care one way or another - as to what gender baby we had. I hoped for a girl the first time around (we never find out the gender beforehand - more on that later) and we had one. Second time around I REALLY wanted a girl so they would be sisters - I am tight with my sister and wanted to give my dd a chance at that relationship.
It is so funny how people assume you want the opposite of what you have - if you have a girl, then you MUST want a boy the next time and vice versa. NO, I really am hoping for another girl. To completely blow people's minds, you should see when they ask (we are expecting #3) "trying for a boy, huh?" and I answer that a boy would be great but if I had a magical way to pick, I would love another girl. We kind of know how to parent girls, we are used to girls around here, we have the clothes, etc. Would be cheaper.... ha ha!
On finding out gender before the birth - we never do. I have a friend who has known once and been surprised once and she swears that being surprised was way better.
I think the more you care (re: gender) the better the reason to wait to find out. Because if you find out at the ultrasound and it is not the gender you were wishing for, you are just disappointed with no baby in your arms. But if you find out at the birth, sure there may be a millisecond of "oh..." but then you have your BABY - you are holding your child - and how could it matter then?
We didn't want to know with either of ours, and our first dd was a completely surprise. But with second dd, the technician slipped during the 20 week scan and talked about 'her' arm, etc., after being very careful all the way through, so we were pretty sure it was a girl...
I also wanted a second girl close to my first, so that was great with me...but after she was born and they said we'd had another girl, we both felt like, 'Well, of course', rather than, 'How exciting - another girl!'
We've agreed that we don't want any prenatal testing that isn't medically necessary, i.e. no ultrasound JUST to find out the sex and "see if everything's okay". If I do need a test that will show the sex, we'll have to decide whether we want to know.... I think I probably would but would keep it a secret so as not to wind up w/gobs of gender-stereotyped baby gifts! If MrBecca had strong feelings about not finding out, tho, I'd also not find out so that I wouldn't slip up and tell him by accident.
Megan, it sounds to me like your friend has some kind of problem w/males (maybe she likes men okay but dislikes little boys because of childhood experiences?) that she needs to get over before her son is born. A few sessions of counseling might do a lot of good.
Mama to a boy EnviroKid 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby !
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I will be using techniques suggested by Shettles to conceive the next baby. My neighbor has used natural sex selection for all three of her children. She had a girl, a boy and this last one was a girl and exactly as planned. She also planned her babies in accordance to the Chinese Conception chart. I dont see anything wrong with natural sex selection and dont see anything wrong with a couple wanting one sex over another.
|Originally posted by Clarity
In my participation on the GD board...I believe the chinese chart is worthless (although I put plenty of belief into things like acupuncture, so it's not the woo-woo factor - it just seems not to work for so many women) Shettles has many adherents, so does another system called O+12. However, vaginal environment is considered as or more important than straight timing by the vast majority of women there. Many women there have a done a lot of research, both record-keeping at the site and existing scientific reasearch. Hi-tech, ericsson is another worthless method, I have seen many many ericsson failures (a spinning method using IUI) Microsort's sperm sorting is on the up and up, it is hard to get pregnant with it, but they have very few failures (wrong gender pregnancies) and a peer reviewed study, so is PGD...but that involves IVF. Just a little rundown of many availalable methods...
I don't have a link right off...someone must...
|Originally posted by Clarity
That is much better than what I was seeing! (way more! When we were counting, it was a small sample, but it was like 40% - worse than chance!) I wonder why the big difference? That is very interesting.
I don't have a link right off...someone must...
Most people figure it wrong, especially if they conceive the month of their birthday.