TTC 6+ Months October Support Thread - Page 17 - Mothering Forums

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#481 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 05:35 PM
 
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God, I just don't know.if I can handle another month of this emotional trauma. It is all I am thinking about and I still have another week to ovulate. Today is Halloween and I want to be thinking about taking my 7 year old trick-or-treating, and instead I feel depressed and only thinking about myself and my doctor's appt. I have no idea what they can do for me anyway. But mostly, it is the "okay let's try this and wait yet ANOTHER month." I am just really tired of the whole thing. Yet, I never was on the pill or anything and would not plan to start, so I am not really sure how to end this.
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#482 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 05:40 PM
 
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Lilyflower - You're "ending" will be a happy ending. I wish I could offer you solstice.
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#483 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 05:58 PM
 
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CONGRATS TRICIA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


: : : : : : : : : : : : : :






Guess there was a whole lotta smilies waiting for you too.

I am crying big happy-not-jealous tears for you too ! Hooray ! You so deserve this ! (again, as we all do). I think I really do believe in BFPs again !



So... question.... would you now be recommending clomid to a friend ?
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#484 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 06:21 PM
 
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Lilyflower I am sorry to hear you are feeling down today. Your feelings are so very normal and you can always post them here without fear
Something that has helped me (I hope this is helpful and not just ) is thinking about the perspective of this: TTC is a partially a thing of chance, a numbers game... but we only get to roll the dice one time per cycle. So for every 28 or whatever # of days we only get one chance for pregnancy, even though we think about it every single day, sometimes all day long. That's a whole lotta waiting for just one chance ! Imagine you are at a craps table and you throw the dice, lose, and have to stand there and wait for 28 days to go by, money in hand, for another chance to toss the dice. it sounds crazy right ? it is crazy, this whole experience is crazy. The challenge is not letting it make you feel crazy. And it is depressing. There is a fine line sometimes between having sad feelings over something like ttc and actually feeling depression. You know its depression if it interferes with the living of your life, ie: eating, sleeping, family time, normal activities.


I go between basket-case and zen detachment sometimes. There's a reason they call this a rollercoaster. One thing I know for sure, I am glad for such fine company on this journey as I find here.
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#485 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 06:31 PM
 
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Thanks you guys
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#486 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 06:33 PM
 
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Wow! So much happy babydust and confetti in here today - I can barely see you all!

My HSG went alright, it was about a 5.5 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being awful pain, 1 being nuttin honey) Pinchy, uncomfortable, and (pardon the TMI) it almost felt like I had to go #2. Felt sorta full and crampy, ya know? I'd say that it was only a teensy notch up the ladder of discomfort from an annual exam. Same stretched out speculum feeling, add in a pinch and a weird full/crampy feeling, and you are there. (And to add another level of awkwardness, the radiology tech was someone we know from our car club, so add another not-such-a-stranger who has seen my nether regions. It's bad enough that my DH works at the hospitol, so everyone we saw on the way to the room was all "Hello! Hi! How are ya?" But as a bonus of working there, he got to stay in and hold my hand while they poked and prodded and filled me full of dye, which was nice.)

Turns out there are no clogs or anything, BUT, I do have a septum, or a bicornate uterus (sp?) Dr says that it shouldn't interfere with me being able to get pregnant, but it could become a minor issue with bringing a pregnancy to term, or with breech babies. I'm scheduled for a uterine MRI on Monday so the Dr can better see whats going on with my uterus. She also said my cervix was slightly tilted, and she can better see that with the MRI too. Now lets just cross our fingers and hope insurance will pay for these tests.
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#487 of 497 Old 10-31-2006, 11:01 PM
 
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Thanks for the update, Itybty. That sounds like it went pretty well. I liked your mid-day wine idea. I think it's a good tip! I hope the hsg gives you the extra boost these next few cycles.
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#488 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 02:53 AM
 
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Congrats to Punquin and HopesMom!!!! :

Right now I'm emotionally with lilyflower

Mama to Blake, 5, and Grant, 3
ribbonpb.gif
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#489 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 04:32 AM
 
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It is 11:15 and I just got back from halloween festivities. I am researching stuff on the internet tonight as if I don't do it tonight, I know I will spend my work day tomorrow doing it.

My doctor's appointment was successul somewhat in that she was very nice. She looked at my prior ultrasound and CT scan, and noted my history of PCOS at age 19 and noted follicular cysts on my current ultrasound about five or so months ago. So she started me on Metformin. I will try that for a few months and if no luck, she will start me on Clomid. I will have to pay for Clomid on my own. Anyway, she is checking to see if it is okay to take Vitex with Metformin. Anyone know? I am hoping this is okay. She said to wait to start it until she lets me know, but I can't stand even waiting another day to start it as I want to get going!

I was bawling when I left the office because it only meant another two or three months before this gets going. She acted like this will definitely not work for this cycle yet. She said it causes nausea so I will have to remember that when I think I am having symptoms.

I am feeling somewhat better now as I am glad she had some sort of answers for me and it does make sense because I did have a problem with cysts, although, I have none of the typical PCOS symptoms, such as hair, weight gain, etc. I have noticed the past couple of days some little cramps around the ovary areas and it is not yet time for ovulation so that was kind of weird. I am wondering if Vitex is at work.

I am hoping this works, but I was really wishing she would just go ahead and give me Clomid too.

I am wondering about the PCOS. She said my ovaries are growing eggs, but not able to release them or something like that. But wouldn't that mean I would not have a period? I don't quite get that part.

Anyway, she did not start progesterone because first I have to complete ovulation. If anyone has any info on this, feel free to comment. I would like to know about Vitex too.

I hope you all had a happy halloween.
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#490 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 11:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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lilyflower. I'm not an expert on Metformin but I do know a few people who are on it and I thought I'd share a happy story. My SIL tried for 3 years to get pregnant many years ago (she also has PCOS). Finally with injections etc... she got pregnant with her boys (twins). She was feeling pretty yucky a few months back and went to an endocrinologist who gave her a scropt for metformin. After 3 months on it, they tried for ONE cycle and got pregnant. She is due in June. The drug resolved the underlying issues that made her body reluctant to ovulate properly and it was that easy. She didn't even need clomid this time.
Anyway, I know it is frustrating...but this may be a great thing. I have lots of hope for you.

oceanmommy--thanks mama. about clomid. I don't know. Unfortunately we did a few things a bit differently this cycle and so I fear we will never know what "did it" (other than the obvious, dh and I did it).
How are you holding up? Are you closing in on crazy mode yet?

to allisonrose

Glad to read that there are no blockages, Itybty. I can totally relate to having to subject yourself to your husband's colleagues everytime you go to the hospital. My husband is an OB/GYN and sometimes that's great and other times its plain awkward!
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#491 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 12:27 PM
 
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Tricia I'm am so happy for you...I told you that something was telling me this was your month. I could feel something, I'm just not sure what it was. I'm so glad that you finally got your success story!!! BABY DUST!!!

Panquin Sorry if I mispelled, BUT CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Way to go girls, I have my fingers crossed for everyone else as well!!!

Tenk ~ happily married with lots of kids

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#492 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 12:44 PM
 
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Lilyflower - I'm so sorry you are feeling so down... I've definitely been there at many points during my 15 months of ttc. I don't know anything about PCOS or any of the different fertility drugs (I am actually overdue for my annual exam because I didn't want to come back still not pg and have to admit there may be a problem). All I can offer is my support and good thoughts for you guys. I am really hoping things will turn around for you soon.

allisonrose - Thank you... and big to you...

ItyBty - I'm glad they found no clogs with your HSG... don't they say that a lot of women get pg after a HSG? I don't know much about them...

oceanmommy - Your chart is still looking great! : :

This morning, I woke up 3 hours before my alarm. Not fun. Thankfully, I have a laptop on my nightstand to keep me occupied. I got up when I couldn't hold my pee anymore and took one of the cheapie +/- tests I got yesterday. Another ! For some reason, the little blue lines are a little more believable than the digital readout.

I called my dr's office to make an appointment. I've actually only been there once - last August. They say they generally don't see someone to confirm pg until after 6 weeks. Is that normal? I have an appointment for November 16th. That is going to go way too slow... :

Stephanie MC 11/22/06 Jackson born 02/05/10 MC 07/14/14
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#493 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 01:50 PM
 
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Ok, I'm not really sure whats up with this. I was so happy when I left the house this morning, and everything seemed to be all hunky dory. Now, I'm on the edge of tears about everything. DH made me cry about something stupid, I feel like there's nothing that I can do to make anything better, and on top of it, I am depressed about not knowing if we caught the egg this month or not.
I am so excited for the new pregnancies on the thread, and I feel like I'm being a damper on everyone. But I did need to vent for just a moment. Now I'm going to go cry to sleep for a little nap.
Hope everyone is doing well, sending to everyone.
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#494 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 02:08 PM
 
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Well, emotionally this morning I am in the dumps. I started having crampy twinges last night and my temp went down a bit today (although I did wake up really early), so I am not feeling too optimistic today.

Those 2 recent BFPs are like land appearing on the horizon after being cast away at sea.... I see that they are there, they do exist and I am happy some of my friends have finally arrived on the shore.... but I feel like I am swimming, and swimming, without making any headway. Like a bad dream. It is so frustrating and depressing :

I feel like my unusual higher temps this cycle are just one big cosmic joke.

bleh.


Tricia, I guess this qualifies as "crazy mode " ? so yes, I am there.
Are you and Punquin walking on clouds today or what?



Lilyflower I am excited to hear about the Met because I have always heard people saying it is what helped them get PG ! I really hope it works for you. I also heard that if you get the nausea symptoms, and not everyone does, that they go away once you get used to it. :


Tenk, how are you ? How's the clomid treating you ?


ItyBty, I am glad to hear your HSG went ok. Not too bad, not anything you want to run out and do again soon right ? I am glad we can obsess on our post HSG cycle(s) together. It's good that you found your septum, I thought I had heard something about a septum could make implantation more difficult ? Not sure, I really don't know. I have read plenty of birth stories from ladies with septums, though, for sure. I thought someone on the 12+ monther list had one... Leslie in Chicago maybe ? Might be useful to inquire on that thread.



Ugh I just feel like smashing things.




ETA Mommy in Chaos I just saw your post. See ? You are not alone in your feelings today I don't know if it helps or hurts to hear it but your chart looks good.
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#495 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 02:10 PM
 
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Oh, goodness! I'll start the new thread right now. It should be up in about 10 minutes. Happy November!
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#496 of 497 Old 11-01-2006, 02:30 PM
 
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:oceanmommy: I went thru a similar mood swing last week - I had one day were I just could not stop crying! It was bizarre. Just oneof those days I guess... I'll find out Monday if it's a septum, a bicoronate uterus or something else. I'm getting an MRI. (ugh.) Then I have an appt. to discuss the results of the HSG, and MRI and DH's semenalysis. Woohoo! I guess.

If it helps to smash things, go outside, find a rock or a stick or something, and toss it (into the toods or a pond or something - not your neighbors car!) as hard as you can. That really helps me when I'm irrationally angry. Besides, throwing things is FUN.

Funnygrace - I was just about to ask who was starting the Nov thread.

Hopesmom - I'm with you on the weirdness of having a DH who knows your Dr, the nurses, etc. It's just awkward sometimes, isn't it? I mean, these are people he eats lunch with, sees at work everyday...

Lilyflower, Allisonrose, Mommyinchaos - : : :
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#497 of 497 Old 11-02-2006, 02:40 PM
 
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Hi everyone,

i'd like to share where I am at. It was a wonderful cycle mainly because I was so busy that I could hardly wait for the surge test to finish before I was on to the next thing. I raced to the Fertility clinic on wednesday and we did the insemination. Lets hope those sperm have done their job and I am starting to conceive! CROSS YOUR FINGERS EVERYONE.

Our Dr wanted us to consider IVF as it gives a much better chance of conception than the 10% we get with IUI. So we are thinking about it but I have never been into the massive invasive treatment one has to go through for IVF and so I wonder maybe we should think about adopting instead.

Anyone have experience with adoption or IVF?

Also for anyone out there going crazy... This was my best month yet because I was so so dang busy that I couldn't stop to think. I would recommend getting out there and working on a politcial campaign before the election, doing something CREATIVE... We made hundreds of handpainted masks for a halloween harvest show. wow!

SHANE
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