TTC #1 in our 30s - Anyone? Bueller? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 402 Old 11-08-2006, 09:32 PM
 
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greengrey: my friend has that disorder and 3 children.
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#122 of 402 Old 11-08-2006, 10:54 PM
 
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Hello new peoples. *wave*
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#123 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Well DH said no to BD tonight

I asked if there was anything i could do to change his mind and he said "no"
I asked if it was annoying for me to be asking him about it and he said "yes"
I asked if it would be bad if I attacked him anyway and he said "yes"

Looks like he is done trying this cycle. Stupid late ovulation. I guess I'm pretty much out this month.

Sorry if this is a downer (especially for the new people...I promise I am not normally this pitiful) I just feel so :
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#124 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 01:30 AM
 
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Oh yeah...I played my Heart tape so much that the tape (the tape inside) broke and jammed up my sterio. I didn't like Wham! And I can't believe I paid money for Thriller.
Oh we still listen to Thriller. it makes me a little sad b/c MJ was so talented. I feel so sorry for him now. We have a video of one of our friends dancing with DH's grandmother to 'Don't stop till you get enough' at our wedding. A cherished memory.

Welcome greengrey. Best of luck with your meds!

Emily, I'm sorry. I usually would say that my dh's is like Becky's....he's usually happy to have me attack him. But he is currently snoring on the couch next to me, so I don't see it happening tonight either.

I think I spoke too soon earlier too...my cm disappeared for the rest of the day. I'm pretty confused as to where I am in my cycle. :

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#125 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 03:23 AM
 
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On paper I look like I'm pretty well covered this month, but I just don't feel it. I don't feel the magic, I don't feel acomplished, I don't even feel good cause I got sex everytime I demanded it.
Bla...this is the first time in my life I have no idea if I even ovulated. I feel like a dried up old woman!
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#126 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 11:49 AM
 
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Ugh, Emily, what a pain. Sometimes I think that men just aren't capable of feeling that undeniable urge to procreate like we are. They don't feel that urgency. Ovulation hasn't been pinpointed on your chart yet, so hopefully he'll perk up and you can get in another few well-timed BD sessions!

I remember going to buy Thriller in the record store when it came out. I was soooo excited! I thought MJ was so cute! Now of course, I just think he's creepy, but I still program his old stuff in my satellite radio so I can catch "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough" when it comes on the disco station!!

Kat, your chart looks great. My guess is that FF might give you crosshairs for CD9 based on your fertile CM & positive OPK, though the temp shift of only .3 degrees might throw that off. You're not a dried up old woman!! I'm sorry you're feeling disappointed.

Still waiting to ovulate over here. I had my blood drawn yesterday morning to check my hcg levels to make sure they have come down appropriately after my miscarriage. I'm expecting them to be really low or zero by now.

Oh, and a question to anyone who's miscarried and waiting a cycle or two before trying again -- how did you hold yourself back??? All I can think about is baby-making! : I'm afraid that as soon as I see fertile CM I'll be like a dog in heat and unable to control myself.
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#127 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 12:16 PM
 
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Emily, that sucks! HUG! I feel like my DH is holding back on getting as excited as I am about TTC'ing because he is afraid I will be disappointed and he is trying to protect me. I also just tend to live in the future much more than he does -- not necessarily the best habit...
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#128 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 12:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the support everyone. What's done is done at this point.
My temp spiked today so I am going to guess (as long as temps stay high) that FF will be figuring out an O date for me soon. Based on CM it seems like maybe I O'd on CD 16 or 17 (CD 16 would be a great O date...but I am not holding out hope for that). I DO have a low temp on CD 17 BUT (and here is where the denial & rationalizing start...why does TWW make us so : ) I think I might have fallen asleep taking my temp so maybe it was lower than it should have been? Normally the thermometer takes about 45s (and I usually close my eyes and wait, because some days I do not have to be up for another hour...Wed was one of those days). Anyway, yesterday it seemed like my temp was taken in like 3s. I remember thinking...wow that was fast! So maybe I fell asleep and did not hold the thermometer like I usually do (I usually jam it under my tongue and hold it like a kid trying to have a fever so that they don't have to go to school - yesterday it may have just rested there). Anyway when I officially woke up an hout later, I re-temped (Hello, yes, I am a tempaholic) and it was 98.0. I put the low temp on my chart because it was taken at my usual temp time, but that doesn't mean I won't be playing with my chart later wondering "what if my temp on CD18 WAS 98.0"
Anyway, I am considering myself in the TWW now (although I will wait for FF to agree before I make it official). I am feeling slightly more optomistic today, like maybe, maybe, there were enough swimmers leftover to catch the eggie. Besides, what good is a TWW if you can't obsess, right?
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#129 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 12:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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BTW - I loved Thriller and I also thought Michael Jackson was sooo cute. So sad how things turned out for him.

Becky - As for holding yourself back when you see fertile CM. I really don't have any good advice (when i see fertile CM I get all excited too ) BUT I can tell you that one of my best friends in the whole world went through 3 m/c (before the stupid drs finally figured out she needed to be taking baby asprin & heprin....she now has 3 georgeous wonderful children) and I remember her telling me how horrible it was waiting out the first cycle after each m/c. All she could think about was getting pg again. Really she only made it through by spending a lot of time on the boards, talking alot with her friends, and by having a husband with good restraint. Please feel free to reach out to us at any time.

PiePie - Yeah, I love the future. I live there all the time. The past is gone, the present is always so, well, disappointing I guess, but the future...anything can happen if the future. The future could be the best ever! I really like the unknown because I feel like it has so much potential to be great. DH is more reserved about the future, all of those unknowns make him a sick to his stomach. So, yeah, I suspect that while he has agreed to stop using b/c and to start "trying", his idea of "trying" is more "let's stop using birthcontrol and have sex when we want to" where as mine is "let's stop using birthcontrol and have sex everyday during my fertile window so we can make a baby plus have sex any other day we feel like it". He really does not like planning or feeling compelled to do something. Argh....MEN
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#130 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 12:58 PM
 
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What is life without hope, Emily!!
Everything is possible, every minute of your life...except when it's not what you want, then it's just not possible. LOL

I had a mini cow last night and it brought all my under-lying feeling to the surface. I guess it comes down to the fact that I hate my job, I'm sick of my guy being unemployed, and I miss my mom. My mom was a horrible mother, but after I became an adult she was the best of all friends. If ever I needed a mother I would find myself SOL, but I was never short on friendly companionship. I miss my mom so much, even after 4 years. It's still like a gapping raw wound in my soul. My guy doesn't understand because his mother has a 10 foot lead pole welded up her butt. All of his family is unemotional and distant. It's not that he wants to be that way, he just doesn't know how to be different.
I'm so weepy today. I hate being weepy.
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#131 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 02:02 PM
 
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Kat, I'm sorry you're weepy today. I miss my mom too! She lives 7 hours away.

Thanks, Emily. Believe it or not, but one of my co-workers told me today that she's pregnant. Not sure when she's due but she said she'd be out all summer on maternity leave... ugh. She probably got pregnant the same time I did. AND THEN I went to the bathroom and viola, watery CM! So, um, I don't think I can hold out another cycle. I really don't. Especially after someone who I'm competitive with at work is now "beating" me in the "race." Ugh.

PiePie, another live-for-the-future person here! It's nearly impossible for me to be in the moment, ever.
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#132 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 02:57 PM
 
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I have decided to do a cleanse (where is the smilie making a dramatic tada-type bow?!) so we're out for this month. but i'm reading some super interesting stuff...getting off to a rocky start here but i'm doing my best.

hope to be back on schedule for december!

Busy mama of
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#133 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 04:38 PM
 
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I was so very, very, freaking very coninced this month was a wash...now I'm cramping on 5 DPO. Now I'm gonna be wondering and obsessing, and temp taking 12 thousand times a day.
Being a girl is too hard!!!

Becky...only you can make real choices about yourself...if you go for it then you have my 'Rah Rah Rah!!' If you decide to hold off then you have my 'Yeah, it's prolly best.'

My guy tells me that I'm so caught up in the results I forget to enjoy the journey. I say "How can I enjoy the journey, it's just a pitch black tunnel. I got my eye on that bright light way down yonder."
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#134 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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BECKY - Co-worker may have her kid sooner, but your kid will be better!
After I posted this morning I talked to my friend J. (the one who had the m/cs) and she reminded me that another thing that got her through the "waiting it out" months was wine, lots & lots of wine. She is a very responsible person so by drinking during her fertile time she made it so that she just didn't feel comfortable TTC. She did say that it was a fine line between tipsy enough that you feel you might be causing any potential baby harm and drunk enough that you don't care, but fortunately by the time she was drunk enough not to care it was pretty easy for her husband to say "no-no" before J. passed out. So, if you want to spend your fertile time in a drunken haze, please know I will support you. Hell, when I get AF this month I may JOIN you

KAT - Thanks for the
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#135 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 05:12 PM
 
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Thanks, Kat! I appreciate the support.

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Originally Posted by dctexan View Post
BECKY - Co-worker may have her kid sooner, but your kid will be better!
You're so right!!! I like you, Emily!

Quote:
So, if you want to spend your fertile time in a drunken haze, please know I will support you. Hell, when I get AF this month I may JOIN you
Good idea! I'll talk to the man tonight and see how he feels about it all. I just don't know what's best here. Everything in me is screaming "MUST.MAKE.BABY" and there's this little quiet voice in the background saying "but... what if?? What if it's too soon?" Ugh.
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#136 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 06:14 PM
 
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*Passes Becky the jug*
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#137 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 06:15 PM
 
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I just got this unsolicited lecture from a friend on how hard it is to conceive at our age. She told me this nightmare story about her mother, who couldn't conceive her for 8 yrs, and was advised to quit her job and stay at home to facilitate conception, and recommended that i not work either -- which would put soo much stress on the ttc thing! I am so glad this thread exists for me to vent! I hate the projection that I will have problems -- we have tried for just one cycle yet, we have no reason to think anything is "wrong"! :
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#138 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 06:17 PM
 
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If you're old, Pie Pie, then I need a cane just to have sex.
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#139 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 09:40 PM
 
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laughup
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#140 of 402 Old 11-09-2006, 09:54 PM
 
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Kat, you're on a roll tonight! *takes swill from jug, passes it to PiePie*
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#141 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 12:52 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll join this party!
*takes drink from jug and passes it back to Kat*
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#142 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 08:53 AM
 
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Can you pass the jug over to me? AF showed up yesterday and I'm feeling blue! And of course my fears are kicking in ... you know the ones that sound like this: I've waited too long, something's wrong, I've got no eggs left, blah blah blah..... I hate when these things float into my head. So pass the jug so I can drown them away. Good thing about having my period is that I don't have to fret about having myself a Friday evening cocktail!
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#143 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 10:08 AM
 
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*opens another jug*

My right boob HURTS!!!
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#144 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 10:38 AM
 
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**WARNING**
ANAL RETENTIVE OBESSIVE THINKING AHEAD:

I mentioned this once in one of my very first posts that my guy is double ressesive Alpha One. That means he's got a problem with his liver and it's manifesting by attacking his lungs. As of now he's still asympomatic and perfectly healthy. He found out he had this disease when his grandmother died of Emphasyma after having never smoked a thing in her entire 92 years.
So last June we took a road trip to Colorado because there's a special hosptial that with only lung disease in Denver. He registered there and enrolled in a treatment program but they can't really determine his full condition until they have 3 sets of results, and they take the results anually.
Yesterday he called and made an appointment for his second evaluation in June 2007.
His parents want to go with...that's fine...as long as we get two cars...DO NOT MAKE ME SIT IN THE CAR WITH HIS MOTHER FOR MORE THEN 20 MINUTES...someones going out the window!!
But after the Colorado deal, they want to continue on to look at some land in Illinois...which is fine...I've never been there...see above statement about 2 cars.
Now it get's interesting because while we're in Colorado we also want to stop in Pueblo to visit my stepfather. My stepfather has been around since I was 13 and frankly...even though he's an alcoholic, workaholic, anti-social weirdo, he's the only reliable parent I have and I really feel like he's the only family that belongs to me since my mom died. I'm even thinking of asking him to adopt me (the situation with my biological father is really weird) because if something were to happen to me I don't want there to be any question of who my legal next of kin is. I don't think marrying my DP would cover everything...especially if I have a baby. I don't want my biological father to have any legal claims to my child. So anyway...that would put my inlaws in my stepfathers house for at least 3 days...it might be morbidly entertaining, but not good for family relations.
Oh yeah...we can't afford to board the dogs, so they'd be going with. They went last time too...they are great dogs and it was no problem at all.
Sounds like we got this pretty much cut and dry...except if I'm pregnant now I'll be due around the begining of August.
Yep...take the above senerio and add a 7 month pregnant woman into it. Can you take a road trip at the point? My mom gave birth to all of hers about 3 weeks early, but then again, she did some pretty heavy drugs while she pregnant too. My sister was worried about prenatal health and went fanatic with her first and he 8 1/2 pounds and a week late. She didn't even try for health her second time (non of the obvious no-no's but mostly junk food) and that time she was forced to induce at 10 days overdue because the baby was almost 11 lbs. I'm built so much like my mother and my physical patterns and habits are so much like my mother, I'm just sure I'll deliever early. If I had the baby on the road could I simply tie it to my chest and keep tracking? Is this my chance to get out of a hospital birth? My guy grew up in a medical household (dad's a dr) and he's adamantly against homebirths...just think of all the women that have died in childbirth. Whatever...I ain't going there. I hate hospitals...hospitals are for sick people. I'm really trying to get all the info together to present him with an organized birthing center delivery. I really want a water birth.
I mentioned all this to my guy and he said I was getting ahead of myself.
I said "Yeah...it's my job...I'm a girl." LOL
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#145 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 12:05 PM
 
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If I had the baby on the road could I simply tie it to my chest and keep tracking?
Woman, you crack me up. Thanks for that rant, it put a smile on my face even though that probably wasn't your intention. You know what? If you're pregnant in June, then YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN JUNE!! Woohoo! Be happy about that and don't worry about the logistics -- it's 7 months away. Anything can happen!

So I talked to hubby last night about my nemesis co-worker who gets everything in life that I want, and he made me feel better. Plus I think he's ok with us ttc right away... did I mention in my post about this on the last page that right after she told me she was pregnant, I found fertile CM when I went to the bathroom? So yeah, my urge was kicked into full gear. DTD last night, so we'll see what happens now. If I'm not pregnant this cycle I won't be heartbroken, but if we don't try it'll drive me CRAZY.

Hope you're all having a great Friday! (sorry about AF showing up, Natalia. Hope you got good and drunk last night! ) I called out sick (I'm not really sick, my allergies are just bothering me), so yaaaay!
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#146 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 12:45 PM
 
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Woman, you crack me up. Thanks for that rant, it put a smile on my face even though that probably wasn't your intention. You know what? If you're pregnant in June, then YOU'LL BE PREGNANT IN JUNE!! Woohoo! Be happy about that and don't worry about the logistics -- it's 7 months away. Anything can happen!
I had all these same thoughts while reading your post, KK!

dctexan - I am so with you on temping. And I'm not even TTC yet. DH stuck the thermometer in my mouth at 6. I promptly fell asleep. (Or never really woke up.) It beeped, scared the crap out of me, then I got all confused and couldn't read it, but was afraid it wouldn't store (sometimes it doesn't store properly), turned on the light and saw 36.38 ... Half slept until 7, my regular temp time. 36.38 seemed way low, so I took my temp again. 36.68 - which is way high. Couldn't figure out which one to use, or to just discard the whole day.

Jeesh! I hoped if I did this for a few months, I would stop stressing and losing sleep over it so that by the time we were ready to TTC, it would be easy! Har. I don't know if that's going to happen.

beckyphry - Careful with your sick days! You know in 4 or 5 weeks you're going to be on your hands and knees with the most joyful sickness of your life, eh?
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#147 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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When my younger brother's wife was pregnant she got really sick her first 3 months. She said once she was bent over a public trash can heaving her life up in the middle of a park. Some woman stopped to offer help and SIL said she was fine, just pregnant, then when back to heaving. The other lady sighed and said "Makes me want to have another."
SIL looked up and said "WTF looks fun about this?"
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#148 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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hazieluna: do not be afraid! you did not wait too long! you just started trying, remember? if you were 25 it would take an average of 6 months. but i agree with you on the relief AF is so that we can permit ourselves to drink. I had a little red wine when Ford lost Tennessee. (we're political junkies.)
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#149 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 01:11 PM
 
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ATD mom: what is a no poo journey? or should i not ask?
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#150 of 402 Old 11-10-2006, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oooh! Guess what ladies, if I mess with my chart and put the 98.0 on CD18 FF says I Oed on CD16 which would be perfect, perfect BD timing. I am going to change it back to the lower temp (just because it feels more honest and because I suspect I Oed on CD17 which is still fine). So no more wine for me this cycle

hazieluna. That sucks. AF sucks. Each and every month we have to "start over" really is depressing. I experience the same thoughts you do...is it too late? Is something wrong with me? However, I also find that once AF starts to slow down and I get geared up for BD time, I start to get optimistic and excited again. I hope you get those same positive feelings in a few days.

Also, correct me if I am wrong, but I believe a "no poo journey" means no SHAMPOO (apparently if you stop using shampoo and start using, I think, baking soda, it makes your hair very pretty). I do NOT have the guts to do it. Besides I am a product whore so I LOOOOVE my shampoos. Good luck to you ATD_mom, you'll have to keep us posted.
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