Does anyone else not use contraception? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 10:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I really don't want to start any nasty debates about this because I'm new here, I like it so far, and I have left forums over this. DH and I are Roman Catholic and so we believe that contraception is objectively wrong and all babies should be welcomed as gifts from God. Does that mean the mother should have as many babies as possible? No. I am one of those gifted ladies who is infertile (at least after my first) because of breastfeeding with cosleeping and a little babywearing for a few months after birth. A friend had to wait until her son was more than two years old before she could conceive again. It can be done. Anyway, we are currently trying for our second, though a friend told me that as soon as she and her husband stopped "trying", they promptly conceived! Besides the moral issues, I also believe that not using contraception is the healthiest thing a woman can do. (this is aside from using it for medically necessary reasons, which can be allowed) If you want to fight with me about this, please either PM or don't say anything at all. I just want to get a feel for how many others are like this on this forum. We also don't like to hear about when people use NFP to avoid children for years and years, just to get more "stuff" or other reasons like that - we support NFP when a couple is trying to conceive, though! I would love to hear your thoughts.

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#2 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 10:49 PM
 
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Come on over to the Quiverfull Tribe!!

You will find lots of like minded mamas who believe that babies are a gift from God and shouldnt be hindered!

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=550326

look forward to seeing you!
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#3 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 11:09 PM
 
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Me too! Here's my recent thread on it...

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=549791

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

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#4 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 11:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Deo Gratias! What a relief to find two positive replies right away. Thank you for the welcome!

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#5 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 11:23 PM
 
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Okay I am Pagan but I also feel like babies are a gift and should not be directly "prevented". My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years and I have only used hormonal contraception once, for a medical reason for one year. We have had 4 babies together in the 7 years we have been together and hopefully another soon :-) My husband and I have used condoms here and there but usually we don't use anything. It seems like I have lucked out with being able to use to BFing as natural baby sapcing as well but one came sooner I would welcome it with open arms.
These are my feelings but honestly I can understand both sides of this choice.
Blessings,
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#6 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 11:25 PM
 
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Just wanted to also give you a little lucky baby dust


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#7 of 19 Old 11-07-2006, 11:40 PM
 
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I am new here as well, and we are Catholic, using NFP to avoid as I would like to nurse our baby at least one year before getting pregnant again. You are certainly not alone.
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#8 of 19 Old 11-08-2006, 12:04 AM
 
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No flames from me either, just a welcome, appreciation for your eloquent post, and some
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#9 of 19 Old 11-08-2006, 12:51 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all the lucky baby dust! I hope that after we finish our move in a few days - I can't actually start moving until tomorrow night at the earliest and I'm going crazy because I'm 85% done packing and the time is very slow - I can relax enough to have a little baby all to myself again. I feel selfish, that I would want one even if he or she died in the womb (from breastfeeding or not); I loved feeling Catherine's little kicks and punches and reading to her.
CrunchyMama03, have you heard of Our Lady of Guadalupe? She is a wonderful help for mothers and unborn children, and pagans too.
I am sad to say that I used condoms with my boyfriend years ago, so I can tell you that I know that it is worlds better with nothing at all, just man and wife!

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#10 of 19 Old 11-08-2006, 02:58 AM
 
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I am Chaldean Catholic, and we were required to go to a NFP seminar training session like thing before marriage to encourage that as a form of family planning rather than barrier or hormonal. I dont understand why a Catholic would be against that. Other than that I totally agree with your post. And wish you tons of baby dust luck! But curious as to why you feel that way about NFP to avoid.
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#11 of 19 Old 11-08-2006, 10:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by +stella+ View Post
I am Chaldean Catholic, and we were required to go to a NFP seminar training session like thing before marriage to encourage that as a form of family planning rather than barrier or hormonal. I dont understand why a Catholic would be against that. Other than that I totally agree with your post. And wish you tons of baby dust luck! But curious as to why you feel that way about NFP to avoid.
Well, because it's still avoiding, and it is so easy for couples to use it on their own for reasons that are not "grave". People are having so many less babies now and this makes it easier for Catholics to follow the world instead of the other way around. An old friend told me that when she was growing up, she thought "family planning" meant the husband and wife budgeting and things like that - when it is meant any other way I get a bad feeling: God is, or should be, the only one who plans families!
Also I really didn't like being in the NFP class, talking about mucus and other feminine stuff with all the men there...

May God bless you and His Blessed Mother Mary keep you!  :-)

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#12 of 19 Old 11-09-2006, 09:14 PM
 
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I am also catholic and I don't use any form of steroid bc but when we were being careful my husband just pulled out is that considered nfp? I totally agree with you about being the safest for our bodies.

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#13 of 19 Old 11-09-2006, 09:20 PM
 
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No BC here.
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#14 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 02:47 AM
 
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Ummm....I'm actually a little bit confused about why this thread is here in the TTC board at all... Technically the moms you'll find here are ttc and in some cases when they've been trying for awhile desperately would love to get pg. So logically it would seem that the women here aren't using contraception because they actually want to get pregnant. Am I the only one confused about this? :

I'm thinking maybe you wanted to post in the Fertility board of the Family Planning board instead?
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#15 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 03:14 AM
 
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Well, Yes, it probably should be on the Family planning board, but I believe the overall question was if any of the other ttc mamas go without bc ALL the time (Catholic Mama--correct me if I am wrong)......

As for my response, I was on the pill for medical reasons for 4 years, but that was prior to marriage as well. I stopped taking it one month before our wedding because I too am Catholic and wanted to welcome God's gift(s)....well that was not as successful as I had hoped since I STILL am anovulatory(over a year later), but we have not used BC in any way since our wedding. My preference would be to continue that, but I honestly cannot say with certainty as it is a partnership and I feel it is a decision we should make together when the time comes. But we are done with unnatural remedies, and that was a mutually agreed upon decision.
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#16 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 09:39 AM
 
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I also don't use contraception all the time, as Fishie Kisses (cute username!) clarified. And that's also why I never really come to the ttc forum -- I'm always neither ttc nor tta, I guess. But I've received some great advice here in trying to figure out my cycles recently.

But I already knew Catholic Mama from another thread, and so I automatically knew what she meant. Now that it has been pointed out to me, I can see why the title is a head-scratcher in this forum.

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#17 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 09:56 AM
 
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Pampered Mom "Ummm....I'm actually a little bit confused about why this thread is here in the TTC board at all... Technically the moms you'll find here are ttc and in some cases when they've been trying for awhile desperately would love to get pg. So logically it would seem that the women here aren't using contraception because they actually want to get pregnant. Am I the only one confused about this? "

I agree with Pampered Mom - most ladies here would feel that it was a "blessing" to conceive at all and, whether they are religious or not, would welcome a baby at any time. The idea of the posts is to be supportive to people in the same situation as yourself - I'm not sure why you posted on here either. As far as I know ALL the ttc ladies (not, unfortunately for them, "moms") go without contraception ALL of the time.

However, I don't agree that it's wrong to plan your family - and I think that if you get so upset about it as to leave forums over it - why bother bringing it up in the first place? Especially somewhere where it could be construed as judgemental and hurtful. :
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#18 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 10:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GoodyTiptoesWish View Post
As far as I know ALL the ttc ladies (not, unfortunately for them, "moms") go without contraception ALL of the time.
Just to clarify -- I'm sure that women who are ttc don't use b/c when they are ttc, but once they have had the baby, will use some form of b/c until they want to ttc again (if they do). Catholic Mama is talking about women who don't use b/c at any time (or who used to and who have decided not to use it again). I can see how she might not think family planning was the best place to post -- it is about *using b/c*. If you choose never to use b/c, you're kind of ttc all the time, but you're maybe not charting and likely not doing OPKs to catch an egg, for instance, and if you are nursing you probably don't mind that you aren't menstruating or are not ovulating or have a short LP. The fertility board might have been the best place, but when I visited recently, the main Fertility forum page was about half full of b/c threads. Maybe she felt that wasn't right either.

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#19 of 19 Old 11-10-2006, 10:53 AM
 
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Originally Posted by GoodyTiptoesWish View Post
However, I don't agree that it's wrong to plan your family - and I think that if you get so upset about it as to leave forums over it - why bother bringing it up in the first place? Especially somewhere where it could be construed as judgemental and hurtful. :
I agree.

It is certainly okay to feel what you feel but it seemed to me when I read your post that you were trying to egg people on. I am a christian in the Church of God in Christ denomination and I don't recall a single biblical phrase that says that it is unholy for a married couple to prevent conception. If you can show me a verse that explicitly says such I will in turn take the verse and pray over it asking God to show me His way and after confirmation from Him I will jump to your side of the fence. I understand that when it comes to familys that God has ordained a lot of certain types of behavior (such as submission, etc.- an entirely diff battle ) but I, myself, don't recall this being one of those (other than an opinion derived from inference).

I hope you take all of what I said in love, b/c that is ultimately the true message of Christ's teachings when dealing with people. I know you believe your values and beliefs to be right, and you may in fact be (the benefit of the doubt) but your post may as well have been "calling all contraceptive users-- judgement day!"

I am not saying all of this start a debate (as you said you didn't want) but just be careful how you word things next time if you in fact don't want to argue.

Please pray for me and I will do the same for you (b/c who couldn't use an extra dose?)

Ph.D. Mama to Anaiah born 10/06/07 and Mathias born 11/14/09 and Wife to my cocoa puff DH.
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