Big gigantic ugly pissy rant! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 04:16 AM - Thread Starter
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Okay.... Here goes....

So, I get home from work - at nearly 1 am and check my mail to make sure there have been no emergencies, or changes to tomorrow's schedule.

And what do I find?

My EX! has sent me two pictures of his brand new (4/25 at 4:10am) baby boy.

Now, this ex made it abundantly clear that I was not a friend to him and he hasn't contacted me since then. He also has a tendency to call to rub things in my face...like when he called to tell me he was engaged...instead of calling me...he called a mutual friend and then had the friend call and tell me. grrrrrr.....

This ex cheated on me with my best friend and basically treated me like dirt. He was so surprised when I broke up with him, even though I had moved out of the apartment we shared. His plan was to let mw live on my own for 6 months and "grow up" and then he was going to propose....of course he neglected to tell me any of this when I informed him I was moving out because I didn't want to be with him anymore.

Anyway,
I am happy for my friend who got pg by complete accident and just had her baby. Helped her do research and the like and was always happy for her.

I am happy for my other ex (who I am friends with) whose girlfriend got off the pill without telling him and got pg. He has a lovely baby girl, and I was happy and supportive and the whole shebang.

I was happy for my friends in Florida when they called the day af arrived and announced they were pg.

I am happy for all the people on this board who graduate every month with such happy and effusive posts.

I am honestly happy for all of these people, because I see the joy about the babies and I know that they will be great parents. And also because not one of them has ever presented it in a way that was like braggin. But this one.... this is too f***ing much. He is a TOTAL CREEP! He has always been a sh*t and likely always will be. He is not a nice guy. He has cheated on every single girlfriend he has had...probably the one who ended up being his wife. And he doesn't like kids. He never wanted them. He told me so whenever I asked. He was absolutely adamant. AND YET HE HAS TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!

Why the hell can't I manage to get pg? What have I done that is so bad that I don't deserve a baby and he deserves two? Why does everyone get to do this BUT me? What is wrong with me?

I know there are no answers to any of these questions.....but damn that pissed me off.

I am a big believer in karma...I am starting to wonder what horrible thing I did in a past life that I am paying for now. ugh...I am going to bed. Thanks for listening to my rant, It helped...please don't anyone take anything personally in this post.....I am just yelling here to get it out and not annihilate my dh.:LOL this is much more a self reflexive rant....about what is wrong with me...not what is wrong with anyone else....

anyway, I am babbling . Again, thanks for listening....

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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#2 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 04:36 AM
 
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I'm sorry to hear what an ass your ex is being. Ugh. Sometimes it's hard to make sense of the world. :

I hope you get some hugs IRL and feel better soon.

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#3 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 04:46 AM
 
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Oh you poor thing Adina



I can say that you DO deserve your baby, but you already know that. Sometimes you just gotta and

Sometimes I check here just to see how you're doing. Your baby will come. Your baby is just waiting for the perfect time to be conceived and born

And he really does sound like a jerk. Good riddance for you, poor kids though.

More

And remember it must be lonely being him (even if he's too shallow to usually notice). While we love you here
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#4 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 05:06 AM
 
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to you and here's hoping that his poor kids turn out *stable* inspite of him. You are going to be an awesome mamma someday.

Heidi : Married for 15 years, expecting our 8th baby in July!

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#5 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 06:34 AM
 
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Wow! I could have written this post a year ago. Well, almost. My DH's ex wife is an evil b*tch who uses abortion as birth control. When they were together she abused him in every sense of the word, even physically. They finally had a daughter when he literally *begged* her not to get yet another abortion. And here it took me 3.5 years to get pregnant.

I also wanted to know what the heck I did in a past life, that a beast like her could get pregnant time after time and have a baby she didn't even care about (she kicked my DH AND THEIR DAUGHTER out when she was 1), and I could not get pregnant.

God it was so frustrating to feel that way. It is so damn UNFAIR.



I'm so sorry that you're going through this.

I know how happy I was to finally find out I was pregnant, the very same month I had finally given up. I hope you get to feel that too, and soon.
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#6 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 07:42 AM
 
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(((AdinaL))) If you are worried about bad karma, then you have nothing to worry about. I think you rock. You are doing so much to prepare yourself to be a mama. I just told you in another thread that you are ALWAYS at the top of my sticky vibes list.

I am sorry that your ex is such an a$$, but lucky you: you are not with him anymore . It must be so hard to see the pregnancies/births/kids happening around you. I know you feel happy for your friends when you hear this kind of news, but it's totally understandable for you to have those fellings too.

When it happens for you, you won't be the only one jumping for joy. There will probably be a nationwide earthquake the day you announce that you are pregnant at MDC (this is the part where you are supposesd to picture us all jumping for joy in front of our computers) You have many fine women here at MDC on your side with their baby dust wands pointed your way.

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#7 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 08:57 AM
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Quote:
And he doesn't like kids. He never wanted them. He told me so whenever I asked. He was absolutely adamant. AND YET HE HAS TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!

He doesn't............she does. Knowing that he's one of the world's biggest d*cks, what makes you think he will parent them, or even eventually be allowed to stay with them? NOT.....

That poor bitch he's married to has two beautiful kids, and it sounds like they will be the only good thing that comes of that relationship.

You, on the other hand, will be a wonderful, consistent, loving, caring, constant in your child's life.....the karma wheel is just waiting to send you exactly the soul you need.

Hang in there.

And change your e mail address.

Moon
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#8 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 12:39 PM
 
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Adina,

Here's some big . It sucks, there's just no way around it. Bad enough dealing with things without somebody rubbing salt into wounds for crying out loud! What an ass!!

I too have wondered about the "big picture" questions - and just what is to be learned from this process other than frustration. Here's to some peace from self-reflection

Take care and I hope you feel better

Lisa

Lisa , married to Dan, mama to IVF miracle Natalie 5/20/09 :
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#9 of 18 Old 04-26-2003, 06:33 PM
 
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Adina, shame on him! What a total b@stard. You know what? You don't have to be happy for him, so just stop feeling guilty about that for a start.

I agree, change your email and don't let that guy intrude any further into your life. Change your phone number or use the answering machine. Tell him to stay away if you have to. Why should he randomly keep popping into your life to rub things in your face? Sounds like the issues are all his to me.

Whether he is a good or bad parent, happy or sad, successful or dead in a ditch, it's no concern of yours. So just brush him off (easier said than done I know) and don't give him any more of your time or thoughts.

I hope you feel happier again soon. Time to get tough with that guy. I believe your time will come too.

Mama to 12, and 9 and 3. 
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#10 of 18 Old 04-27-2003, 02:54 AM
 
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#11 of 18 Old 04-27-2003, 08:46 PM
 
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Adina, s

I know you will be pregnant soon. It just sucks waiting for it to happen. Try to be gentle with yourself .

Please take care
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#12 of 18 Old 04-27-2003, 09:21 PM
 
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There is a feature on e-mail that you can block the sender, so you don't even have to see his e-mails. If someone tells you something about him, just ask "Why do you think I would be interested?" That might shut them up.

You'll get your baby.
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#13 of 18 Old 04-27-2003, 09:26 PM
 
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Adina,

I just wanted to add my . I've been reading the 2ww threads for awhile now even though I haven't made it there myself yet and every time I am hoping so hard that it'll be your month. It will be soon.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#14 of 18 Old 04-28-2003, 03:04 AM - Thread Starter
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So I wrote him back...partially to find out if he actually meant to send it to me, or if I was part of some list that he used and had forgotten I was a part of.

He did mean to send it to me. He said that he hadn't had any reason to write for awhile and this was a good reason and he wanted to catch up. Weird.

I would block his email, but we have some mutual friends that we keep each other apprised of in emergencies and stuff. So that isn't really an option. Or believe me I would.

I am less upset about it than I was then. I think some of it was because I was tired and in the middle of my Clomid. Yicky stuff that - does its job, but makes me nuts for a couple of days.

Thank you all so much for all the support. YOu guys are great and some of the most supportive women I have ever met. Now I just wish that I lived next door to all of you!!!

I am feeling more positive than I was that day....and coming up on fertile time. So maybe getting rid of all that negative energy in that big ol rant will help!

Thank you all so much! YOu all make every day a little easier for me!

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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#15 of 18 Old 04-28-2003, 11:17 AM
 
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I bet the reason he wants to rub your nose in this is that he hopes you'll think, "Gee, if I'd married him, that would be MY beautiful baby," and wish you'd married him. : Remember, no matter how long you have to wait to get your baby, at least he/she will have a GOOD father!

But it IS so hard to see horrible people get babies they don't even want when you're having trouble! I'm glad you're starting to feel better.

Mama to a boy EnviroKid treehugger.gif 9 years old and a new little girl EnviroBaby baby.gif!

I write about parenting, environment, cooking, and more. computergeek2.gif

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#16 of 18 Old 04-28-2003, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
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envirobecca...you are probably right. Though when I was with him...he didn't want kids. And repeatedly told me so.

So did my other ex - who now has one baby and two step sons....

Kind of odd....wonder what is up with that...????

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg

 

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#17 of 18 Old 04-28-2003, 05:09 PM
 
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Adina!!!

Here's a thought...you're coming up on a fertile stretch...get a motel room, get really funky...put some REAL spunk into the BD...see what happens!!!!

I so hear you...can't wait for your big news!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Much baby to you sister,

Keep on keepin on,

Mamasoleil
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#18 of 18 Old 04-28-2003, 09:56 PM
 
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Oh, Adina. I go away for a few days and someone dumps on you. Grrrrrr. I hope you are doing better now. People can be real jerks at times.

I'm praying for you every night and keep you in my thoughts daily. I think I'm obsessing about your cycle more than you are. Everytime I see a pregnant woman (and jeez, there seem to be a ton of them out there lately) I think of you.

Perhaps we are meant to be pregnant together. Since I'm not going to start trying till probably July, God doesn't want you to get too far ahead of me. A girl can hope.

Here's to praying that you get a big old jump start on me this month.
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