Okay.... Here goes....
So, I get home from work - at nearly 1 am and check my mail to make sure there have been no emergencies, or changes to tomorrow's schedule.
And what do I find?
My EX! has sent me two pictures of his brand new (4/25 at 4:10am) baby boy.
Now, this ex made it abundantly clear that I was not a friend to him and he hasn't contacted me since then. He also has a tendency to call to rub things in my face...like when he called to tell me he was engaged...instead of calling me...he called a mutual friend and then had the friend call and tell me. grrrrrr.....
This ex cheated on me with my best friend and basically treated me like dirt. He was so surprised when I broke up with him, even though I had moved out of the apartment we shared. His plan was to let mw live on my own for 6 months and "grow up" and then he was going to propose....of course he neglected to tell me any of this when I informed him I was moving out because I didn't want to be with him anymore.
I am happy for my friend who got pg by complete accident and just had her baby. Helped her do research and the like and was always happy for her.
I am happy for my other ex (who I am friends with) whose girlfriend got off the pill without telling him and got pg. He has a lovely baby girl, and I was happy and supportive and the whole shebang.
I was happy for my friends in Florida when they called the day af arrived and announced they were pg.
I am happy for all the people on this board who graduate every month with such happy and effusive posts.
I am honestly happy for all of these people, because I see the joy about the babies and I know that they will be great parents. And also because not one of them has ever presented it in a way that was like braggin. But this one.... this is too f***ing much. He is a TOTAL CREEP! He has always been a sh*t and likely always will be. He is not a nice guy. He has cheated on every single girlfriend he has had...probably the one who ended up being his wife. And he doesn't like kids. He never wanted them. He told me so whenever I asked. He was absolutely adamant. AND YET HE HAS TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN!!!!
Why the hell can't I manage to get pg? What have I done that is so bad that I don't deserve a baby and he deserves two? Why does everyone get to do this BUT me? What is wrong with me?
I know there are no answers to any of these questions.....but damn that pissed me off.
I am a big believer in karma...I am starting to wonder what horrible thing I did in a past life that I am paying for now. ugh...I am going to bed. Thanks for listening to my rant, It helped...please don't anyone take anything personally in this post.....I am just yelling here to get it out and not annihilate my dh.:LOL this is much more a self reflexive rant....about what is wrong with me...not what is wrong with anyone else....
anyway, I am babbling
. Again, thanks for listening....