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#61 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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So I do have Strep. Doc put my on amoxicillin for 10 days. I will be eating lots of yogurt and taking my probiotics to keep the good bacteria in me.

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#62 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 07:26 PM
 
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GRAAAAAGGGGG! IS CONCEPTION REALLY POSSIBLE? I mean maybe it does actually come from a stork?

:
Yea, but the upside of wondering this is that we realize that each and every person we see walking around on Earth is such an unlikely miracle.

Megin and Laurie, thanks for the cheering up; I'm thinking that I did O on the same day I insemmed, which is not what I expected at all; I was planning on at least three donations and I only got the first one of the three, which i expected to be at least 24 hours before O and was consoling myself that it was close to the Shettles method of TTC a girl.

Not that I don't adore my son and wouldn't love another one, mind you, but I've always pictured this one as another girl.

I think I must have PTSD from my first insem, when I was way too late.

Laurie, I'm glad you're able to take care of that throat now and it doesn't sound like the treatment is that bad or is going to drag on for too terribly long. I seem to have given myself a vaginal yeast infection from leaving the Instead cup in too long, which isn't surprising, but I'm reluctant to subject my organs to Monistat at such a crucial time in Maybe Baby's pre-existence so I'm trying to remember what we did back in the days before we had such an option. Garlic? Vinegar? Yogurt?
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#63 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 07:30 PM
 
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Plain yogurt can be used. You can also use an acidophilus capsule as a vaginal suppository. I would take them orally as well and eat lots and lots of yogurt. Did you use the Instead cup for your insemination? And can I be nosy and ask why you only got one donation instead of three?

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#64 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 08:50 PM
 
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Thanks, Laurie. I use the Instead instead of a syringe to get "the goods" where they need to be, and I also think it gives them a bit of an edge to hold them in the right place for longer than I could lie still. I've only recently heard of women using them for natural insemination (you put the cup in after bd) and some folks swear by them.

The only reason i had a problem this time around was because I left it in for over 24 hours when you're supposed to take them out after 12 hours maximum.

I only got the one insem because the donor decided to leave earlier than he had planned. I think it was kind of a mutual "ick factor" thing; he had spent his own money coming up here and the weather didn't co-operate. I'd also forgotten that dd had already invited Sarah and he might have been somewhat put off by just how MANY teenagers were in my little rented house even though I told him repeatedly that only two of them were my flesh and blood.

At least I wasn't the one who panicked, "icked", and ran this time.

Oh well. I have another possible donor lined up for next cycle if this one doesn't work out, although this one only does shipping. I have a much better chance of conceiving with fresh, but shipping is less personal and therefore more predictable.

As Ms. GB said, the grass isn't greener, it's just different grass.
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#65 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 09:09 PM
 
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you know I have thought about the instead after BDing. But if I put it in there and cover my cervix then whatever sperm didn't get caught up in cup gets to swim away. LOL

Laurie (46) Wife to : Mom to 4 Grandma to :
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#66 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 09:42 PM
 
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spider -- glad things are feeling up. TTC, inseming, etc -- the hugest roller coaster ride. I think we need a roller coaster smilie!

all -- be well.

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#67 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 10:14 PM
 
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I apologize in advance for the gloominess of this post. I am an optimistic realist, and I am grateful for everything~good and bad b/c I think that's what makes up this experience of life. I am happy with turning things over to a higher power, and using my brains to do what I can do on this journey.
But tonight....
I just can't take TTC anymore. I have never felt so horrible in my life. I can't see solutions b/c I am so caught up in disappointment and fear and grief. I feel like such an idiot everytime I hold on to hope as the cramps come and temps drop. I am becoming an angry person. I am mad, so f&^%$ing mad at nothing. I just hurt in places I didn't know I could hurt. I can't imagine being a mom with these feelings. And then I think maybe that's why, why every month this happens. I went to a 1 year old bday party yesterday. And the sweetie just toddled over to her mommy who was sitting on the floor and hugged her back with all her will. And it was so beautiful. And I cry now b/c my husband may never know how that feels and all he can do is watch it happen to other people.

And I know that I'll get a grip, as I almost have now that I've snotted all over the keyboard. I really need a rollercoaster icon....

s and to all, thanks for listening

Selectively vaxing, extended breastfeeding WOHM to Cjoy.gif (2/09), who was conceived naturally after TTC for 3 years and failed IVF.  TTC #3 in '11. Married to my best friend A love.gif.  Baby #2 angel1.gif (1/2011)
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#68 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 10:39 PM
 
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Ann, I couldn't read that without giving you a .

My mood always plummets right along with my temps too.
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#69 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 10:44 PM
 
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Ann, sorry you are feeling that way! I think the holidays are playing into my emotions more than I'd like to admit. Is there any way you could stop temping and charting for awhile?

I'm just beginning to chart and temp for the simple fact that I'm concerned about whether or not I'm ovulating. If I'm still not pregnant after finding out whether I do/do not ovulate, I'm stopping again.

This TTC business is not easy-take care!

A supportive military wife and mama to my busy boy and sweet girl.
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#70 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 11:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ann109 View Post
I apologize in advance for the gloominess of this post. I am an optimistic realist, and I am grateful for everything~good and bad b/c I think that's what makes up this experience of life. I am happy with turning things over to a higher power, and using my brains to do what I can do on this journey.
But tonight....
I just can't take TTC anymore. I have never felt so horrible in my life. I can't see solutions b/c I am so caught up in disappointment and fear and grief. I feel like such an idiot everytime I hold on to hope as the cramps come and temps drop. I am becoming an angry person. I am mad, so f&^%$ing mad at nothing. I just hurt in places I didn't know I could hurt. I can't imagine being a mom with these feelings. And then I think maybe that's why, why every month this happens. I went to a 1 year old bday party yesterday. And the sweetie just toddled over to her mommy who was sitting on the floor and hugged her back with all her will. And it was so beautiful. And I cry now b/c my husband may never know how that feels and all he can do is watch it happen to other people.

And I know that I'll get a grip, as I almost have now that I've snotted all over the keyboard. I really need a rollercoaster icon....

s and to all, thanks for listening
I'm sorry that you're feeling down Ann! I know how it feels to be angry about this. I'm going to second Nicole!'s question and ask if you've considered taking a break from charting? I know that it's the best thing that's happened to me. I was becoming very upset every month with perfectly timed BDing and all only to feel the cramps come and watch my temperature drop and then AF show up as scheduled month after month. I just pretty much broke down on my husband and told him how angry I was and how the charting and BDing was taking over my life. I wasn't enjoying my DH like I felt I should and much like you, I wondered how I could be a mother with such anger inside of me. I've only stopped charting for a couple of weeks (just after AF left) and it's been great. I'm enjoying DH more when we do BD and I don't think about it much anymore. I do still check for EWCM on the toilet paper, but I don't even check my cervix. It's great. This is good for if you really know your cycle and it's consistent. I do hope that you feel better. We all want for you to have a BFP soon and you'll be in my prayers.

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#71 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 11:29 PM
 
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Thank you for leading the thread willowsmom! looking great!!

Big hugs to you ann109...

Good luck to all those tester and ovulators this week!!

Please move me to TWW! I am not absolutely sure I o'd... but I am crossing my fingers that I did!!

Rachel femalesling.GIF, WAHM, Mom to guitar.gif DS (MAY/05), hearts.gifDD (AUG/07), and superhero.gif DS (JAN/10),  bfinfant.gif DD (JUL/12) Wife to the love of my life partners.gif(MAY/02),

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#72 of 246 Old 12-11-2006, 11:33 PM
 
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So I do have Strep. Doc put my on amoxicillin for 10 days. I will be eating lots of yogurt and taking my probiotics to keep the good bacteria in me.
I'm glad you got it checked out and sorry you are sick. My dh is totally wiped out by this bug but can't stop and take a few days off to recuperate. So I'm still playing single mom as well as nursemaid. I'm TIRED! (But so far dd and I are fine, thank goodness.)
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#73 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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ooooooo Give me strength! My bbs are sooo sore and heavy. Now, that is sometimes a AF symptom for me but it is still not due till Saturday! FF actually gives me completely different resaults depending if I leave it on advanced or on Fertility Awareness (FA is 3 days earlier so guess which I leave it on ) I am determined not to test until Saturday but being so sore is making me hopeful.... I want to test now but I know I will be crushed if it is a BFN.
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#74 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 01:17 AM
 
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Oh, Ann, I am sorry that you're so frustrated, sad, and angry right now. We all have those moments during this rocky ride (Sorry about the super cheesy sentence). I just try really hard and sometimes without success to find the little bits of joy right now. I also hold on to the knowledge that I'll be overwhelmed with happiness when and if I ever get pg. But yeah, you're not alone and your frustration now is no indication of the type of mother you will someday be.
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#75 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 03:42 AM
 
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Please move me to Waiting to Know.... Thanks!

Me (35) * DH (33) * DS (8) * (01/27/08) * DD (10 mos) * (06/26/10)
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#76 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 06:54 AM
 
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Ann, I am so sorry that your are feeling down. I am sure that most of us here have felt that deep sadness before. I know that I have, you are not alone here, I wish that I would give you a big hug irl but a virtual one is all I can do I will be thinking about you
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#77 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 07:28 AM
 
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Thanks for the thoughts and s. I am taking some time off chating/TTC and going in for a consult with a RE next Tuesday. So, all the previous charting will at least give me something to go in with.


Willowsmom: thanks for the new thread and please move me to waiting to be ready. Thanks~

Selectively vaxing, extended breastfeeding WOHM to Cjoy.gif (2/09), who was conceived naturally after TTC for 3 years and failed IVF.  TTC #3 in '11. Married to my best friend A love.gif.  Baby #2 angel1.gif (1/2011)
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#78 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 10:02 AM
 
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Ann - I agree with the others. I'm sad for you and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

me - I'm 2 days late and got a bfn this am. I feel not-preg and think/hope af will come today. I'm pissed because I felt great last week even though I thought I'd get AF and have to keep trying, well....then she was late and I couldn't help but get some hope up. What else would a normal person do? I still knew in my gut that I wasn't preg but when AF is 2 days late you can't help but wonder. When things like this happen I feel like it's some cruel joke or test. Just like when AF comes and someone calls or emails the same day to say they are "accidentally" preg.

A bright side...well, if I have to find one it's that I'll probably o a day or two before Christmas. I told DH this AM that he'll have a jolly Christmas and he laughed a little. He's starting to get tired of this now too.

I'm so happy I have you guys to chat with about this, otherwise I think I'd go raving mad. I hope we can all find a way to get through the rough patches. I guess we really have no choice, huh?

Tara

Tara - Mother to Curtis 12/04 and Clark 11/07
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#79 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 10:12 AM
 
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Ann.
Sorry that AF found you and that you are feeling down. I am always a little surpised and disturbed each month about how much control those end of the cycle temps have over my mood. But I also agree that it is important data to have. GL with the RE!

Tara
Ack. BFNs suck. BFNs followed by little optimistim + no AF really sucks, because you just want to get on with it. Time to move on, new cycle, new hope. GL with the holiday BDing - at least (hopefully) you and DH will have some time off together where you can relax.

all around because sometimes it gets really depressing on the one thread with all of the BFNs, AFs, and related frustrations. Fortunately, that is why we have MDC!
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#80 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 10:24 AM
 
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Sorry Tara! Lots of hugs to you too!
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#81 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 10:52 AM
 
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Hugs needed all around today, eh?

We finally got crosshairs from FF: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/11575d

It says Katie O'd two days after our last insem, which should be great timing since we use fresh sperm.

We both have a good feeling, as does our donor, by the way!

So, now it's wait wait wait and test on........maybe Christmas? Yack!

megin

Mommy to an amazing 8 year old, wife to an inspiring principal, and welcoming Wylie Grace! Our July 4th babe!
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#82 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 01:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated to this point

Hey lovelies.
CD95. I'm sorry if I'm not contributing posts as much this time around. I'm in a bit of a funk. But know that I'm pulling for all of y'all and I'm sending HUGE hugs all around.

Jenn - Mom, Photographer, Barista 

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#83 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 01:31 PM
 
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Please move me to waiting to know... Thanks!

I actually got red crosshairs from ff this morning. My chart still doesn't look like much, but its been a few cycles since I haven't had to override ff.

Now if I could just stop coughing and sneezing... :

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#84 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 01:39 PM
 
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Still no crosshairs for me, but I think it's because I didn't get my temp plummet (and the associated dark, desolate, devastated mood that goes with it) until showed, because it sure looks to me like Katie and I are cycle buddies and that I O'd the day of the insem.

I'm trying to hold off testing until the 25th, because that's when is due, and to be bluntly honest, the timing of this cycle has more to do with why I decided to try for a September baby than I really want to admit.

< cringe >

No wories about ruining Christmad Day because the kiddos and I weren't planning much anyway and now it looks like exy wants them that day anyway so the gifts I picked out for ds will have to wait for his birthday. All dd wanted was help with tuition for another semester.

It sure would be nice to spend a special day with Maybe Baby, but if it winds up being me and my Diva, I think I can handle it; I've had worse holidays.



Would love to have some testing buddies, though.
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#85 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 02:15 PM
 
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NOS- FF just set my testing date for Christmas as well. Not sure how I feel about that. I'll either be hosting AF, or have a great Christmas present. But now I have someone to commiserate with! Yea!

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#86 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 02:37 PM
 
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Ok, you can now officially move me to waiting to o please. This is the first time I've had a cycle over 29 days since I was preg. My lp was 17 or 18 days this time which just seems wrong. What could that possibly mean? I'm very happy that the hag finally showed up but along with her I am feeling much sadness. It's just so unfair. I'm trying to focus on the good things in my life (there are several) but it's hard to deny the sadness that comes each month with AF and my therapist would say to just get the feelings out and express myself. Maybe I'll do some painting this afternoon as a catharsis.


T

PS - We are all still sick with this cold. Sounds like several of us on the one thread are sick. Get well vibes to us all.

Tara - Mother to Curtis 12/04 and Clark 11/07
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#87 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 02:41 PM
 
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Ann109, I'm sorry to hear how totally frustrated you are. I hope your charting break helps you find a bit of peace.

Megin & Spider, : : !!

Stacymom, you too! : I'm looking forward to a whole batch of BFPs on Christmas!

Interesting, FF gave my sad little half empty chart dotted cross hairs:
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/10f355
I really don't trust it, but I suppose I'll test on Sat if nothing has changed by then.

I had a teeeeny bit of spotting on Sat, which would have been 3dpo. That would be too early for implantation, wouldn't it?

And to answer HeatherB from the end of last week's thread- I have no idea when AF is due! I'm breastfeeding & got completely lost this cycle. My 3 PP cycles so far have been 30 days, 55 days, 43 days, & so far today I'm at cd42. I've officially given up this cycle & am just trying to stay sane (as in not obsess) until something remarkable happens.

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#88 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 02:44 PM
 
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oh, Tara, SUCKY!!

North Idaho rural living  mama to: 23 yo DD, 16 yo DS, 8 yo DS, 6 yo DS, 4 yr old DS, 2 yo DD, and 1 yo DS. And someone new coming this Christmas!
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#89 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 03:20 PM
 
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#90 of 246 Old 12-12-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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jfrank411Welcome! Sure hope that your stay here is short

I think and hope: Please please that I O'd today, poor dh is getting really sick (flu ) and I was lucky to gio this morning! Beside that, TMI he has a scrape on his ehm penis got it stuck in the zipper lmao! It hurt the poor guy this morning that will teach him to not wear underwear! My temp was really low this morning now it is really high. (My temps in the am are almost the same as in the pm) I will be testing around christmas time to if af doesn't show. We are going on vacation though and I probably won't have access to internet where we are going ( 2 weeks Thailand ) I am gonna miss you guys sooooo much, I already do and we aren't leaving for another 12 days!! Uggg it will suck if af visits when we are on vacation!

to everyone that needs em!
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