Disappointing dr's visit - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
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Well, ladies, it was exactly as I feared We saw our new fertility dr today and he was patronizing and disrespectful. He wasn't interested in my knowledge about my body, he thought charting was too stressful and advised me to stop and, best of all, he thinks our recent m/c was probably due to my nursing my dd and that I should "go home, enjoy my baby and forget about getting pregnant until I'm ready to wean her." WTF?!?! I didn't wait 3 months for this appt to be told that! If I'm here, it means I want to get pg and I'd like him to at least respect that!!

He actually said to me that we should be using birth control until dd weans. He asked if I was willing to wean and I said no. So then he asked if I was willing to use birth control and I said no. He was pretty confused by that ..lol

I mentioned that my research has shown that a connection between trouble getting pg/staying pg and breastfeeding is tenuous at best and very individual. He never once gave me any info on exactly how much I was increasing my risk of m/c by nursing and, of course not, because the info doesn't exist!!

I asked about progesterone and he said that he thinks my taking progesterone during my pregnancy with dd had nothing to do with the fact that that is the only one of my 3 pregnancies to result in an actual baby. He told me he would prescribe me progesterone but thought it would only be a placebo for my peace of mind.

Oh, my, it was awful. I felt dismissed and that he was saying "okay, crazy lady...whatever!" The last time I felt this way was over Christmas when I was pg and knew something was wrong and my dr (another one) kept telling me to relax and just enjoy being pg! Ummm...yeah, and then we found out it was a blighted ovum....

I'm very upset by this and pissed off, too. Dh says I should be glad he prescribed progesterone because that's all I really wanted but still, I could do without the lifestyle advice because that's all it really amounted to

Okay, vent over...I need some sympathy please. Oh, and if you could manage to be outraged on my behalf, I'd really appreciate that as well
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#2 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 08:17 PM
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That felt good.

Well, Britt, I've been looking for something to be pissed off at tonight besides my dh, so Take that, Doctor Knows-Nothing.

I'm sorry you were treated that way, honey. You *do* know your own body and are wonderful to be listening to your instincts both with meeting your dd's needs and attending to your body's signals. Frustrating after waiting three months, too!

I think the next little soul to join your family will know when it's the perfect time to come, and it sounds like this doc doesn't really deserve to be part of that miracle with you. Hope you find someone who will work with and listen well to you.


teapot2.GIF Mama to my sweet girls: notes.gif (2/02) and energy.gif (2/08) and brokenheart.gif 3/11 and now belly.gif  EDD 5/24/14
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#3 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 09:51 PM
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Britt .

I am so sorry. I hate docs like that. And there are so many out there.

YOu know what you need...and fortunately you got it!

And charting is a good thing...and helpful!.

Good luck!!!

winner.jpg Adina knit.gifmama to B hearts.gif 4/06  and E baby.gif  8/13/12 (on her due date!) homebirth.jpg waterbirth.jpg


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#4 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 09:52 PM
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I'm SO sorry that you had to experience that. How frustrating and insulting.

to that doctor and a great big to you!

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#5 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 10:32 PM
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: Geesh, sorry Britt. That is just ludicrous. I can't believe people have to wait three months to get a advice like that either. What a patronising b@stard.

I hope the progesterone works for you now and does the trick, then you can prove him wrong instantly. That totally sucks that he is blaming the miscarriage on your nursing! With skills like that no wonder he is raking in the big bucks....

and good luck with the progesterone. Don't forget to tell us all how you are doing.

Mama to 12, and 9 and 3. 
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#6 of 13 Old 05-01-2003, 11:38 PM
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I am bopping your doctor on the head, what a dork! Yes, at least you did get your progesterone, but this still is so disappointing after waiting for all these months. You would expect a dr like him to be able to think with you, and talk with you, not tell you to wean! That is NONE of his business anyway.

Sorry you had such a sucky experience!

{{{{ HUGS }}}}

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#7 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 12:02 AM
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I am so sorry! What a jerk off! I wish you lived in my area...you would love the RE that we had. She was so wonderful and listened to what I had to say. I was pg within 4 months of seeing her. Good luck to you. I hope this character chills out a bit. Maybe he should go back to medical school and brush up on his medical knowledge. It's completely possible for a bfd'ing mom to get pg and stay pg.
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#8 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 12:30 AM
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Aw, Britt, what a big idiot he is!! As if nursing could cause a blighted ovum, HELLO!! I HATE Docs who decide some personal opinion is equal to medical truth. At least you know the truth and aren't scared into a hole by the big jerk! I hope the progesterone does the trick and you can saunter into his office in a few months with a swelling

Robin~ single, work-at-home momma to my WonderBoys
YoungMan (6/00) & LittleBoy (6/04)
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#9 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 02:38 AM
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Specialist Doctor = Bad Bedside Manner
(exceptions noted)

-the pessimistic one.

Homebirth Midwife biggrinbounce.gif

After 4 m/c, our stillheart.gif is here!

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#10 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 03:58 PM
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I am soo sorry. I can't believe you were treated like that. That's awful.

I agree you know your body best, don't let some "dr" tell you you don't. Gosh you'd think he'd be happy that you do know so much, and have been charting etc.

Anyway use that progesterone, get PG and then go say "ha,ha".. Oh and nurse your current baby at the same time..LOL that'll show him..
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#11 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 04:01 PM
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I'm sorry your RE was such a jerk. I've had doctors that didn't pay much attention to my wishes and concerns, so I switched. I don't know if you will be able to do so or not. I know with infertility , docs need to have very good bed side manners. big hugs
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#12 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 09:13 PM
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Sorry your appointment went so badly! I know how those doctors can be, I had one tell me that I was too fat to get pregnant (at 160 lbs.!). Grrr!! I just took the drugs and dosage I wanted by myself and well you've seen my beautiful result (Olivia). Just let what he said go in one ear and out the other because you know you're doing what's right for Maryn and your baby to be. I'm glad you got the progesterone at least and hope you'll be able to use it soon. Keep your chin up! ****baby dust****

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#13 of 13 Old 05-02-2003, 09:17 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks, all! I can feel the MDC collective indignation all the way over here in Ottawa and it makes me feel much better Luckily, I know I'm right and that he's just using nursing as a scapecoat but it still really gets me! What happens to all those women who don't have the resources I do and believe this crap
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