Feel like I just got punched in the stomach (warning- downer post) - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-02-2007, 04:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I know a woman with 3 children, all conceived quickly and easily- the 2 of us don't get along well and we both know it. Once I had just posted about something related to our struggle TTC DD (we lost babies along the way and it took us 1.5 years), and immediately after she posted her own thread about not having trouble TTC, how it's always really easy for them. Then today I posted about feeling down that AF showed with a vengance today, and I was already feeling down because I'm approaching the anniversary of my 2nd miscarriage, AND I really, truly thought (hoped!) I might have been pregnant this cycle (stupid of me to think it might be easier this time). Well, ironically, she posts just shortly after saying that she's a couple days late and thinks she might be pregnant, but that she does NOT want to be, and talks about how inconvenient it would be to her.

It felt like she knocked the wind out of me. You'd think I'd have learned to deal with this stuff the first time around. We're incredibly blessed to have conceived my daughter and carried her to term...but I still hold a lot of pain and bitterness inside from that journey and I'm not sure how to get over it.

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

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Old 01-02-2007, 04:50 AM
 
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Can you just avoid the forum/site/list/etc where this person is? I have been in situations like that online, and I just leave.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and ((((((((((SUPPORT))))))))))) to you!
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:24 AM
 
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I'm sorry you know someone like thats:
that is horrible, she is lucky she can conceive so easily, great for her, she needs to understand just because she can conceive easily doesnt mean the bring up of the kids will be easy for her, she can end up with rebel kids, you will have more babies, keep your chin up, af came on the 29th, i was late 2 days and have been ttc for 3 months and was hoping this was it, to my disappointment af came, this sucks but i feel you and want to offer you babydust.
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Old 01-02-2007, 01:00 PM
 
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I am really sorry for what you are going through. I have a SIL like this and is like this about everything. I find it really difficult.

Sorry you are going through this. :

Mama to 9 year-old girl , and a 7 year-old boy :, and my big little 6 year-old boy, and a 4 year-old boy
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Old 01-02-2007, 01:12 PM
 
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I am sorry

we've never really had toruble TTC -- once we got started, but for vaious reason we could not start till late......

I have ALWAYS been bothered by anyone that takes a pregancy as anything other than a Gift from God and reacts with any other responce than acceptance and JOY.

how could some one conmit to writting the fact that she thinks she is with child again and that it would be "incovient" for her ???? Babies are babies -- they are all wonderful. and it soulds like maybe this post was somewhere realted to TTC or Pregancy? then that is extra insulting, as the lady much know other posting there would be glad to change places with her in an istant.

I am sorry for your hurt feeling.

However, one thing i noticed -- when i am TTC (as I am now) it seems EVERYONE gets pg around me -- all perception -- it is all in what you are looking for.

HUGS

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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Old 01-02-2007, 03:02 PM
 
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Originally Posted by embers View Post
Can you just avoid the forum/site/list/etc where this person is? I have been in situations like that online, and I just leave.

(((((((((HUGS))))))))))) and ((((((((((SUPPORT))))))))))) to you!
yes~ me too . I've left sites /forums, etc for various reasons. It sounds like this person, and what they share, is not what you need to surround yourself with right now. I too have faced primary and secondary infert with losses along the way, and have made a concious effort to surround myself with positive energy and good, loving people who, even if they don't undeerstand the difficult journey ttc is, they are loving, sensitive, and supportive. There have been many people in my life who are not 'good for me' and I've found myself wasting evnergy, and building anxietiy and worries and plain old annoyance in dealing with them. So... I don;t deal with them anymore.
Maybe its time to take inventory to you Mama.

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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Old 01-02-2007, 05:44 PM
 
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so sorry you have to deal with that. And there is no reason to think it should be easier to take after you had your dd. Infertility hurts forever.

If the board or whatever is important to you, then i guess you'll just have to find a way to ignore her. Realize that it's her petty way of getting to you, and that someday she'll get hers. Sorry mama!

Jill, mama to three fiery girlies and a sweet baby boy: Grace, 11.30.2005,  Ayla, 3.22.2008, Norah 9.5.09, Reed 8.19.11 & dfs Gage 2.29.12   angel1.gif x4
 

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Old 01-02-2007, 06:08 PM
 
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I was in a ddc on babycenter from my preg with my son. I had to leave several months ago after almost 3 years together for this exact same reason. They were the oppisite of supportive and told me after 4 months that I was 'too emotional' and shouldn't be upset. Now it's been 7 months and most of them have given birth again or are preg and they still told me I was 'too sensitive'. Mamabearsoblessed is right. I don't respect them and it isn't worth wasting my time on reading such hurtful comments. This is part of the reason I like coming here!



T

Tara - Mother to Curtis 12/04 and Clark 11/07
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Old 01-02-2007, 08:07 PM
 
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I was thinking about this more and I think what makes it hurt most is that these other women don't seem to realize how hard infertility is. I would feel better if the women I know would just say "wow that must be hard" instead of "It'll happen, just relax, don't get so upset." KWIM?

T

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Old 01-02-2007, 10:40 PM
 
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yup, the 'oh it'll happen' or 'you know once you adopt you'll get pg again, it happens everytime' or 'I gues it wasn't meant to be' ~ when having miscarriages (like it just wasn't menat to be that we get the table by the window in our favorite restaurant :
or 'just stap trying and you'll get pregnant!'
'ha ha isnt it funny that we didnt even try, hhehehe : '


oh man oh man... I could go on and on but don't mean to hijack the thread. sorry

natural birthin', baby catchin', cloth addicted, intactalactavist mama of 12/00, 6/03, 10/07, 8/10 & our angelcubs three
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Old 01-02-2007, 11:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Taradactyl3 View Post
I was thinking about this more and I think what makes it hurt most is that these other women don't seem to realize how hard infertility is.
T
Yeah, I definately KWYM!! I actually talked with my MIL about this a while ago, how I'm not sure how to deal with it because I think my frustration comes from seeing people never have to struggle, but it's not that I WANT them to have a struggle, but just that I want them to fully understand that some of us DO struggle, KWIM? But they can't fully understand unless they do go through it...Does that make any sense??

Oh, and FWIW, the board is actually one that I run, so I can't do much about leaving it (it's just a small one for a church group, but we're spread out across the country). I hate to sound happy, but praise God, the woman who wrote those things said AF just showed up.

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

Praying our April 2013 baby sticks!! joy.gif


Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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Old 01-02-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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People who haven't been in the same place can't understand how sensitive we are to everyone around us. I had infertiltiy with my son and month after month had my heart broken waiting for that BFP for 1.5yrs. We are TTC again now and it has been 7mo and still nothing. I have just started clomid and hoping for the best and I am hyper aware of pregnant ladies and new babies. I'm sorry you got hurt by someone so insensitive. I hope you are feeling better by knowing you are not alone.

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Old 01-02-2007, 11:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, and I meant to thank you all. It's nice to have people who can understand...I never had much of that while TTC and I often wonder if that's part of the reason I have a lot of bitterness about my journey...

Me (27) DH (30)...9 Years

DD (7) ~ DD (4) ~ DS (3)

Praying our April 2013 baby sticks!! joy.gif


Babies in Heaven...angel.gif 9/04 angel.gif 2/05 angel.gif 3/11 angel.gif 4/11 angel.gif 6/11 angel.gif 11/11 angel.gif 2/12 (along with my tube greensad.gif )

 

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