Anyone tried *Choosing your baby's sex?* - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-12-2003, 11:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm curious if this works....anyone tried this?

What's the gist of it? Different positions or something? We thought it might be fun to try if we try for a 2nd baby.

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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Old 05-12-2003, 11:35 PM
 
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I didn't try it...but my understanding is that if you are charting BBT for ovulation, and have intercourse 2-3 days before ovulation, you have an increased chance of a girl; whereas if you haev intercourse on the day of ovulation you have an increased chance of a boy. I think there might be a book out there (maybe the one you're referring to, lol) that has more tips.

Kristin
Mama to Aaron, 1/26/03
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:02 AM
 
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parentsoup.com has a gender determination discussion board that is the most active informative place I have found about that...everything from wishful thinking through high tech. Shettles is the author of the book you're thinking of. 0+12 is another popular method. most moms there believe vaginal environment is as, or more, important than just timing. they even have a spreadsheet with tries/results!

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psgender
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Old 05-13-2003, 12:34 AM
 
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worked for us
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Old 05-13-2003, 01:19 AM
 
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It has to do with charting your ovulation. I did not do it with any of my kids but my Best friend did had the girl they tried for. My other friend did it had the boy they were trying for. When my SIL told me she was going to do it I told dh if it works for them then I am totally believing it and it did work for them
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Old 05-13-2003, 02:45 AM
 
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We conceived within 24 hrs of ovulation, and therefore should have had an 85% chance of a boy, but we had a fabulous little girl instead!
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Old 05-13-2003, 08:48 PM
 
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Thanks for the thread. I know we are supposed to say "healthy baby," but I want girls so damn bad.
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Old 05-13-2003, 09:56 PM
 
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I teach fertility awareness and know several couples who have done sex selection. I will be doing natural sex selection for my next child.
My neighbor had done sex selection for all three of her children and plans to do sex selection for her fourth child. All three times worked and she has two girls.
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Old 05-13-2003, 10:20 PM
 
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worked for us too, we got our little princess after our 2 boys
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For those of you that had success - what book or technique did you use? Thanks.

I agree about the happy baby thing, I feel so guilty sometimes that I want a girl next (I have one awesome little boy). OF COURSE, I want it to be healthy above all & I will love the baby madly no matter what he/she is...but I can't help but dream about my baby girl!

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
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Old 05-13-2003, 11:53 PM
 
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choosing the sex of your baby. I think it was written by shelton?
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Old 05-14-2003, 12:33 AM
 
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Never worked for us, but I am happy with what we have anyway.

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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Old 05-14-2003, 03:29 AM
 
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Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Welscher, also has a chapter about this. This is a very comprehensive guide to the fertility awareness method. we found it on Amazon.
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Old 05-14-2003, 11:47 AM
 
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Okay, ready?? :LOL

Here we go:

There are many, many ways to influence gender. Shettle's method, for me, did not work. We have three (DH has another, too) girls. We Shettled for a boy with the last baby and nada.

Shettles, to have a boy, is to baby dance as close to ovulation as possible - post-ovulation, that is. The idea is that the swimmers who are male are stronger and faster and if the egg has already been released, the male spermies will fertilize before the females make it up there. If you BD too early, the egg will not yet be out and when it is released the male sperm will already have died (not being hardy or living as long as the females) and the females will be all that is left to fertilize the egg.

There are other ideas as well. (I am a member of a gender determination group). There is the "boy diet" (and the girl diet). For the boy diet, the studies showed diets high in sodium and potassium led to a higher instance of male conceptions. Some say it changes the polarization of the egg. This I haven't tried, but will the two months before we TTC. Potatoes, avocados, and bananas are all high in potassium. Some take it really far and end up eating NOTHING with calcium or magnesium because it is on the "girl" diet. Not sure that's a great idea, but hey - to each his own.

There is also the idea of environment. This is the vaginal walls, essentially. Because an acidic environment is going to be hostile to sperm, it will kill off the male swimmers who lead, leaving only the females. Those of us with lots of girls are believers that if you douche (gently - or drip a few drops) of baking soda water just before baby dancing, it will make the environment more basic and thus receptive to the male spermies.

You can also alter your body chemistry by diet, and I've heard of moms taking Alka Seltzer an hour or so before BDing to change the pH. You can get pH strips from a pool supply company or school supply place (for science projects). Aside from checking pH of your vaginal walls, some check cervical pH and saliva.

I've checked my vaginal pH and it is VERY acidic, so there may be some truth to that.

DH drinking caffeine before BDing is also said to help, as is abstinence for two days before, I believe.
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Old 05-14-2003, 11:54 AM
 
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which one? (GD board?) parentsoup's was the best one way back...is there another hopping place now?
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Old 05-14-2003, 11:56 AM
 
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Old 05-14-2003, 12:35 PM
 
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I was lisa_joss...I have the msn group addy but it doesn't get much traffic. Can you pm me the yahoogroup, or post if it's public? (unlike ps, you're allowed to do that here...) If it is public it would be nice to have an alternative to send people to, since this topic come up every 3 months or so...
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Old 05-15-2003, 01:42 AM
 
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In Toni Weshler's book, Taking Charge of your Fertility, she dedicated a chapter to the "Shettles Method" of choosing your child's sex. The book also discusses the ins and outs of charting in an easy to understand manner. She does mention that although you may be able to play a part in choosing the sex, the method is not of course, anywhere near 100% effective.

That said, we didn't go about trying to choose our baby's sex but due to fertility issues, had to time intercourse as close to ovulation as possible (the evening before and the day of). We had a boy so I guess it worked for us. Shettles mentions that because boy sperm are quicker but have a shorter life span, timing close to ovulation is key. Girl sperm are slower but live longer, therefore timing sex for 2 to 4 days BEFORE ovulation is the way to go about conceiving a girl. "Girl timing" can be tricky because conception at all is less likely when sex in timed several days before ovulation.

Best of luck.

Em

Em 43 - Wife to hubby Mom to DS born: Jan. '01
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Old 05-15-2003, 12:24 PM
 
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just thought i'd mention that some people have remarked that the section in TCOYF was too brief to contain enough info for a good "attempt" - so don't use it as your only resource.
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Old 05-15-2003, 02:03 PM
 
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Clarity - the group isn't public...but we're open to new members, as far as I know.

However - we primarily focus on TTC Boys, since we're all mamas of girls. It's called TTCBoysClub on yahoogroups.

The only think is - some women are doing high tech (MS) stuff, so you kind of have to be open to that idea as well. (or at least supportive that others are doing it).
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Old 05-15-2003, 03:14 PM
 
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I didn't try, but I did have very regular cycles, so when I looked back at when I should have ovulated and when we had intercourse, I knew my dd would be a girl and ds would be a boy. With dd it was a few days before O and with ds it was the day before O, so the method worked for us. I knew I was pg about a day or 2 before my period started.

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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Old 05-15-2003, 04:31 PM
 
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Hi just lurking! It worked for both my kids. With number # 1 we weren't specifically trying for either sex but we had sex the day before ovulation and not any other time near then and it was a boy. With # 2 we wanted a girl. We had sex 4 days before ovulation and then not again (because I was sick - I wanted a girl but would have been happy either way) and it is definately beautiful girl. With the next baby we'll just let nature take its course since we have one of each!

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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Old 05-15-2003, 05:07 PM
 
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momschooling - guess I was before or after your time. I was a 6 time MS failure, (male enzyme issues) and ended up with ms/ivf/pgd to conceive my first child. (genetics.) I have to try for girls though. Pretty much can't be any more open to high tech than me.
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Old 05-18-2003, 08:17 PM
 
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I've read the Shettles book, and the evidence and methods sound sensible, but you don't know it "worked" if you got the gender you wanted, because there's only two genders to choose from anyway. It might have been the method or it might simply have been the right sperm made it despite the odds. It seems to me you only know if it didn't work and you end up with the gender you weren't trying to have.

I think we all know it's important to be pleased with any baby, but if you have a strong preference for whatever reason, why not?
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Old 05-19-2003, 09:40 PM
 
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Wow, Clarity - what a battle! I'm so glad you have a babe in arms now.

So, are you one of the individuals who cannot carry male fetuses? (Is that what you meant?)

I've been reading a lot more about recurring m/c and the fact that some women do not have a y chromosome to pass on to the sperm - or something like that - so their body automatically "aborts" the fetus. My BIL is an MD and suspects this is the cause of our family's bizarre all-girl phenomena - there are now 10 granddaughters, no boys at all, and a total of 7 early miscarriages.

I hope that some day we will be able to have a boy. Not that I don't adore my girls - I do - and I guess I'm a good "girl mom". But, there's a part of me that longs for a son - the only boy in the family is my DH and he's the last in the entire family to pass on the family name (even cousins).
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Old 05-19-2003, 11:33 PM
 
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it's more complex...i have a gene on my x that *probably* causes massive neurological problems and does huge amounts of amniotic fluid resulting in rupture and delivery between 20-24 weeks - it is a big more complicated on the genetic end...it turns out girls can get it...but like 10% chance...boys are 50% (or greater.) Boys get my affected x, girls get one bad (mine) and one good (dh). But now I have one live child I stick out a little less in the gender determination pity party. She is pretty fantastic - my pain and suffering payback. But she is a genetically engineered wonder child. You can't select out toddlerhood yet though, she's pretty ordinary really.

I am in a study that is startng to show that up to 75 % (!!!!) of recurrant miscarriages actually involve a process called x inactivation...where instead of 50% of your cells using one x, and 50% using the other (normal)...women with these recurrant miscarriages tend inactive one x, and most of the cells use the other...and that x has a problem (resulting in miscarriage.) This is being done by a guy who found the gene for cystuc fibrosis (I believe it was that one.) I was unusual in that they took me after only one loss...but I turn out to be exaclty what they were talking about. And I had a lot of living female relatives all with the same trait. So we're guinea pigs!
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