TTC #1 in our 30's April Thread - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 02:34 PM
 
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Kemi, that video is hilarious! I have seen it before, and every time I watch it I end up rotflmao. Thanks for making me laugh today

And woohoo for a + OPK!!

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Originally Posted by Kharen View Post
A call for a general consensus: A moment ago, I found myself wanting to use that ever-present disclaimer that we all feel compelled to attach to things we wouldn’t typically say even to our dearest friends: “Sorry if this is TMI.”
...............
So, what do you think? It seems we’re all very intelligent, polite, and tactful ladies. I trust that we will be able to gauge the appropriateness of our posts. I think we can set the permission meter pretty high on relevant subjects. (Still adhering to MDC’s rules of behavior, of course.)
Kharen, I think that's a good idea. Your wording has me .

Although, some of my latest posts had me wondering if I might be violating the UA somehow....talking about capuring bodily fluids and such


Jen, I just started on our taxes today. And I'm : already.

Kharen, welcome to your luteal phase and your first official tww!!! :

Sarah, your chart looks fabulous!!!

Kiya, your chart's looking good!

I'm ing the energy on this thread lately.

And I'm amazed at how my own outlook changes between cd1 and cd15.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorGroover
Christina yay for maybe! At least you know the computer works now, right?
Yeah, I was starting to think maybe I got a bum monitor...or that the expired test sticks it came with weren't working.

I picked up some opks this weekend (since I thought the CBE sticks were no good ), and I saw Instead cups sitting there in the store, so I got some of those too. I figured at the very least I'll try them for my period. So, I was going to try to use one after BDing the other day, but I was a little nervous...and they're much bigger than I thought they were. Oh well, I guess I'll wait until I get a 'peak' reading, then try them out.

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#122 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 03:14 PM
 
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Certainly, I agree. It cracks me up everytime I see a thread on FF that starts with 'I know this is TMI but......' I mean - we know when (and how often, and sometimes which position) we have sex with our husbands, we eagerly debate the relative merits of creamy/sticky CM, and we post pictures of things we've peed on.

Yeah, we are WAYYYYY beyond TMI, really.



Christina I have to say that having tried both Insteads and a 'proper' menstural cup - beware of the Instead. I'd strongly suggest that you wear a second form of protection for the first few days.
<conspiracy theory>
I think that the pad/tampon manufacturers came up with Instead solely to DISCOURAGE women from using reusuable menstural cups, because after using an Instead, you'll be turned off from cups, and will keep putting money in their pockets buying pads & tampons......
</conspiracy theory>

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#123 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 03:36 PM
 
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I don't have much time, but I thought I'd drop in... looks like lots of you had productive weekends! : for everybody in the TWW. Determination seems to have paid off, and timing is looking good all around

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Originally Posted by Kharen View Post
Xenon, how are you doing? I see your temps went down, but there’s no AF yet. Still have my fingers crossed for you! :
Ha, chalk that up to laziness, and not to lack of AF -- this is definitely CD1, but I haven't bothered to update FF yet. Some psychological thing about seeing it flip to a new chart, I guess (although that temperature drop really takes the luster off my old chart, so there's really no use keeping it around.)

On a brighter note, I did our taxes this weekend and was extremely pleasantly surprised

Hope you're all well! I'll try and catch up later.
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#124 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 03:47 PM
 
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Hi I am new on here and Just started TTC with our first....I am 33 years old and am waiting to see if AF comes on April 16th.
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#125 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 03:57 PM
 
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Welcome, Angie!!! :

I just joined this thread myself (started TTC this cycle), and the ladies here are wonderful! We'd be thrilled to have you join us!

K(h)aren. Writing/editing mama to my quixotic Sam (12.07) and my intrepid William (01.11).

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#126 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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Ha, chalk that up to laziness, and not to lack of AF -- this is definitely CD1, but I haven't bothered to update FF yet. Some psychological thing about seeing it flip to a new chart, I guess (although that temperature drop really takes the luster off my old chart, so there's really no use keeping it around.)

On a brighter note, I did our taxes this weekend and was extremely pleasantly surprised
Oh, Xenon, I'm sorry, sweetie.

You need to go buy yourself somethin' pretty with that tax money!!

K(h)aren. Writing/editing mama to my quixotic Sam (12.07) and my intrepid William (01.11).

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#127 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 04:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Boernemama View Post
Hi I am new on here and Just started TTC with our first....I am 33 years old and am waiting to see if AF comes on April 16th.
Welcome Angie!! Do you want for me to put you on the list? I'll certainly make the change. Just say the word. Here's to a very short and sweet stay in the TTC #1 in our 30's thread!

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#128 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 04:55 PM
 
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Welcome, Angie!

Xenon, I'm sorry.

---------------

Can I just vent here for a minute? I am so : right now with my husband and : : with his doctor.

I just typed out this long explanation of this situation, but it doesn't make all that much sense. I'll just say that I am fed up, that I'm running through hoops trying to figure out what's going on with my body, while DH just thinks that all he has to do is have a lot of sex, and when it comes to finding out what's going on with his body, he freezes up and acts like a little kid and won't stand up to a stupid doctor who won't abide by his wishes. In other words, we're trying to get a SA done, and it's like pulling teeth.

end of rant.
Now my mom is coming over for dinner, so I need to pretend that I'm not in a bad mood, and not flip out on DH when he comes home. :

Thanks for listening.

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#129 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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Christina, . You have every right to be angry. That's not fair at all!

I get upset with my DH when he forgets to take his vitamin (which I have to place in front of him with a glass of water, mind you)--I can't even imagine how frustrated I'd be if he weren't complying re: an SA.

I was just rereading parts of TCOYF last night, and I ran across the fact that fertility issues are split evenly among men and women, and yet it's women who often bear the brunt of the concern and take responsibility for trying to address possible problems.

I hope he comes around very soon and that you can get to the bottom of this.

I'm thinking about you,
K

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#130 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 05:12 PM
 
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elcome Angie!!! Hopefully, you won't be here long at ALL!!

Xenon Ugh! Sorry that AF showed up....but lucky you with the taxes!!!

Christina - gah, so sorry to hear that. I'm HOPING to never have to deal with that, but I suspect that it's just that way with men in general - I mean, it's a really deep thing for them to even CONSIDER something might be off with THEIR bits.
Have you tried the home version? It at least lets you know if things are good - or if things need to be further researched.

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#131 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 07:38 PM
 
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I would love to be added to the list! Thank you for all the welcomes!
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#132 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 07:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would love to be added to the list! Thank you for all the welcomes!
You're in!!! If you have an online chart, please let me know your web address so I can add it to the list as well. If not, don't sweat it. Once again, here's to a short and sweet stay!

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#133 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 08:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Christina: I'm sorry that your DH and his doc are being difficult. Heaven forbid there ever be anything wrong with the man in the whole fertility thing. : It's like it's okay for the woman to do all the leg work and find out whether or not something is wrong with her and when she finds out she's fine, the man acts like it isn't his fault and that they need more time and all of that because there could possibly be anything wrong with him or his swim team. Some men! He'll come around and if his doctor continues to act like it's unnecessary, then he should fire him. But hugs anyways.

Kharen: I completely agree with what you have to say about the TMI disclaimer. I am guilty of using it myself (yesterday btw): , but am now reformed! You're right. If we can sit here and talk about cervical mucous and show pictures of things we've peed on to each other, and let everybody know how often we're having sex with our husbands, putting TMI at the beginning of our posts is pretty much a moot point.

Xenon: Sorry that AF is visiting you. I understand not wanting to see the blank chart with the single dot on it. Starting over again isn't exactly what we want to do. Using your own words, this may be day one of your 40 weeks! I hope you're feeling better.

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#134 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 08:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Kharen: I completely agree with what you have to say about the TMI disclaimer. I am guilty of using it myself (yesterday btw) , but am now reformed!
Kemi, I've used it before, too--all the time on some of my other MDC posts. I am a great fan of disclaimers myself. I'm sure I overuse them in my everyday life, but I think it comes out of a desire to be sensitive to others.

Generally, it's a very good thing, but I thought I might suggest we do away with it here--where we're always discussing things other people would find kind of bizarre (only because they don't know the true joys of cervical fluid!)--lest we be having to invoke the rule of TMI every time we post.

And please know that your brave "TMI" post the other day--as upsetting as it was for you to experience--really helped me. I had the same problem and was too self-conscious to mention it. But when I saw your post, I knew I was not alone. I really appreciated you honesty!

I hereby declare this a TMI-free zone!

(Disclaimer: The establishment of a TMI-free zone within the "TTC #1 in Our 30s" thread is contingent upon the sensitive and appropriate conveyance of relevant information pertaining to the preparation, procurement, and maintenance of pregnancy. The rules of conduct as described in the MotheringDotCommune "User Agreement" preclude any perceived privileges within the TMI-free zone. Any opinions expressed herein about cervical fluid, intercourse, or other sticky things do not necessarily represent the views of MotheringDotCommune. Thank you.)

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#135 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 09:09 PM
 
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Quote:
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(Disclaimer: The establishment of a TMI-free zone within the "TTC #1 in Our 30s" thread is contingent upon the sensitive and appropriate conveyance of relevant information pertaining to the preparation, procurement, and maintenance of pregnancy. The rules of conduct as described in the MotheringDotCommune "User Agreement" preclude any perceived privileges within the TMI-free zone. Any opinions expressed herein about cervical fluid, intercourse, or other sticky things do not necessarily represent the views of MotheringDotCommune. Thank you.)
:

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#136 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 09:31 PM
 
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laughup


Thanks everyone re: letting me vent. The situation is kind of working itself out, and I'll post more about it tomorrow.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#137 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 09:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And please know that your brave "TMI" post the other day--as upsetting as it was for you to experience--really helped me. I had the same problem and was too self-conscious to mention it. But when I saw your post, I knew I was not alone. I really appreciated you honesty!

I hereby declare this a TMI-free zone!

(Disclaimer: The establishment of a TMI-free zone within the "TTC #1 in Our 30s" thread is contingent upon the sensitive and appropriate conveyance of relevant information pertaining to the preparation, procurement, and maintenance of pregnancy. The rules of conduct as described in the MotheringDotCommune "User Agreement" preclude any perceived privileges within the TMI-free zone. Any opinions expressed herein about cervical fluid, intercourse, or other sticky things do not necessarily represent the views of MotheringDotCommune. Thank you.)
Aw Thanks!!! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this. It is a sensitive subject and there are probably many women who have gone through the same thing. After so many months of ttc, you do start to feel a bit jaded and wonder if there is something wrong with you or DH or maybe the possibility that you're one of those couples that just can't have children with each other, but are fine having kids with others? Yeah, some really weird thoughts have run through my mind. All of those just descended upon my mind at a fragile and vulnerable time. I'm happy that my revealing post was comforting to you.

And yes, I agree that this thread will now be a TMI Free Zone!!!

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#138 of 405 Old 04-09-2007, 09:41 PM
 
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Man I wish we had a "What she said" smilie. I hate that "True dat" smilie. Blah. Anyway, I am lurking away here and had to pop in to laugh at Karen (or shall I say Kharen, since I definitely find you to be more than an "ordinary" Karen!) and her disclaimer. Loved it.

Oh and Christina that REALLY sucks about DH. Can you take DH to YOUR doctor or a fertility specialist? I suspect that a regular doctor (either family practice or even internal medicine) isn't too comfortable talking about or thinking about the whole sperm thing. You will probably be better off with your gyn or a fertility specialist.
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#139 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 02:19 AM
 
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Evening everyone,

Angie!! Nice to have you!

Xenon - Sorry about AF. Feel free to vent if you're PO! Glad you are getting some $$ back tho. So are we!!! I'm thrilled.

Kiya - sorry you owe.

Me and DH just watched the youtube video. Funny! I also liked Christina's description of it - rotflmao! It's funny, I've never seen that before but I knew immediately what the acronym stands for.

Kharen - I like the "no TMI" idea. Please forgive if I forget and accidentally say it - I'm so used to it! I like the disclaimer you wrote! Funny!

Couldn't find Instead Cups at the grocery store. Kiya - where does one get a "proper" menstrual cup? How do you clean it? By hand with some soap in the sink?

Christina - Sorry about DH! I know what you mean about DH not wanting to see the dr. Mine is the same. Many are I guess... But it really does make sense for him to get tested. My DH also does not like to stand up to people. I think he does in his professional life - but at home, he always wants me to be the "bad guy." Like with our cabinet-maker... Ahh... well... I hope dinner went ok and you guys make up.

I'm entering that "free" part of the month where I feel happy and free - no worries about DTD at the exact right time. No waiting for AF. Etc.

Still hoping for all of you tho O'ing and waiting! What a roller-coaster ride we're on! I'm actually getting the hang of it... getting into the rhythm of ttc I guess!

Goodnight all!
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#140 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 06:36 AM
 
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Sarah, I just saw your test result this morning. I hope you are ok. Hang in there, nothing is definite until your period arrives.

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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#141 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 06:54 AM
 
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Thanks I just don't even know what to think anymore. I guess I'll just hang out till Thursday and test again if af doesn't find me.
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#142 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 07:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xenon View Post
As for the post-coitus stillness, I remember reading that the majority of sperm migration happens within five minutes or so, and that after half an hour, there's no appreciable traffic into the cervix. I am a prolific source of completely unsubstantiated factoids!
I'm loving the flurry of silly/official writing from everyone! "appreciable traffic" had me lol.

Jen, late for AF. Big YAY for feeling free! I feel that way too for maybe a week. It is a nice break. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this rollercoaster too. Another big YAY for the progress on the windows.

Angie,

Christina, I'm sorry you and hubby fought about the SA and I'm so happy to hear the situation is resolving. It looks like you are gearing up to O Go bananas I've been slowly getting hubby used to the idea that he will have to get a SA. We did the at home version, but it can only test sperm count, not mobility. His count was great, but if they only dog paddle... Right now he is conveniently forgetting to make an appointment for just a basic physical. As someone who hates going to the doctor I'm not too annoyed, but clearly I'm going to have to be firm. Part of me really doesn't like that. I told him a basic physical and bloodwork is great to do even if it is all fine because then you have a healthy baseline to compare against in the future. Once I explained it like that, he realized there would be no getting out of it. The day the SA is needed will be tougher, but I just keep bringing it up and saying that we will be at that point soon and that it is better to get him checked now rather than wait for a full year to pass by. If we aren't successful this cycle (and oh help me, I seem to be slowly but surely building up hope...this could be a rough cycle), then I'm going to push the SA.

Xenon, for AF. I hate that flip to a new chart too. That is awesome about your taxes!

Kharen, I like your new sig too and I love the "h" explanation. I ponder the hip height every time so you are definitely not alone! It looks like you O'd :

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kharen View Post
(Disclaimer: The establishment of a TMI-free zone within the "TTC #1 in Our 30s" thread is contingent upon the sensitive and appropriate conveyance of relevant information pertaining to the preparation, procurement, and maintenance of pregnancy. The rules of conduct as described in the MotheringDotCommune "User Agreement" preclude any perceived privileges within the TMI-free zone. Any opinions expressed herein about cervical fluid, intercourse, or other sticky things do not necessarily represent the views of MotheringDotCommune. Thank you.)
I love the disclaimer! "sticky things" ewwww. Speaking of ewww, what does it say about me that I thought Peter from Kemi's video was gross?

Kiya, Which day do you think you O'd? :
I'm right there with you re: Uncle Sam and owing, ugh! And I'm also part of the group that hasn't even started my taxes...thankfully around February I started pulling everything together, and it will mostly be the same as last year, but oh how I hate this time of the year. I'm hoping to start them tonight. : Why am I hiding under the chair? Because as my chiro says, if I meant that I wouldn't say "hoping". My mom is coming to visit on Friday and Saturday, so I have to at least start them before that or I'll have to lie to her about it.

Dee, it's great to hear that things are going well with you.

Sarah, actually I had a whole paragraph of notes for you, but after this mornings test it feels silly. I can understand why you say you don't know what to think anymore...just try to hang in there. I was more anxious to see your temp this morning than my own, you have so many people rooting for you guys. I can't think of anything else to say that I don't hate hearing at this point in my cycle, so I will only say nothing is definite, try to hold strong, have that sweet hubby give you lots of hugs. :

Kemi, I was sorry to read about your freeze and I'm happy that it seems to have brought you closer together. I went through something similar recently, although mine was more a mental freeze outside of the bedroom. I realized I was dreading DTD later and told hubby I was feeling like it was becoming more of an act that anything. It took a few conversations before I was able to get a grasp on what I was feeling and before he was able to hear it, but we got there. I realized that it was becoming too much of a normal day that would then result in "you ready" "sure let me walk the dog and I'll be up" (no pun intended). I had two main issues #1, like it or not by about 9pm I'm ready for bed. I usually stay up until 10, but if I'm up later than that it is really a struggle. In hubby's mind we would get started at 10, and even though I kept saying it was too late it just wasn't clicking for him, or he would ask for a specific start time which made it feel even more like an act. #2 was that I wasn't feeling any real connection until we went to the bedroom and I was having a hard time switching gears. Once I could get him to understand it wasn't specific things I needed so much as an all around connection, then it made sense to him. He was great about us not sitting and watching tv basically waiting for me to say ok it's now or never. I just needed for us to actually talk to each other and be aware that we would be TTC that night...it was just starting to feel almost mundane and I wasn't feeling comfortable with that. Our timing close to O this cycle was the nicest sex ever for me, next to no pain, felt connected...it was great. People seem to constantly say to "relax" and "forget you are even TTC", but once I felt like we forgot it, it wasn't a special time anymore. I personally wouldn't have sex with my hubby every other day, so to forget why we are doing that makes it feel kind of pointless. Remembering why we are having sex on a night that we may both be too tired makes the experience really nice despite our being tired. It wasn't that he doesn't take care of my needs because he definitely does, I just finally realized I was having some emotional needs that needed to be met before we even thought about getting our whole dance going. This may not be making sense. I'm also resisting digressing into a rant about being told to "relax". I think I'll just let that rant go this morning.

Kemi again, yay for +OPK Go bananas :

Kat, this is pretty late and I don't know if you will still read, but I have to say that I'm sorry you are leaving us again. Take good care of yourself. :

After all that I almost forgot to update on myself. There isn't really anything to update though. We had a great weekend, actually the last two weekends were great. Work is work, nothing new there. I'm dreading doing my taxes. I'm looking forward to a nice weekend with family, and a mini vacation the weekend after. I'm trying to find and keep my neutral ground this cycle. For some reason my hope is much higher this cycle, so I'm trying to find that neutral ground. I don't want to be negative, but I don't want to convince myself that I'm pregnant either...neutral ground. This could be a tough cycle. I'll either get my period or be late the day we leave for our mini vacation...neutral ground, have to find that neutral ground. Nothing else exciting here. It's been too cold to do any more yard work or even to take my long walks. Today will be in the low 50's so we should get in a walk today. All of our home projects are unofficially shelved because hubby has been playing with his motorcycle. He'll have to balance that soon though because we have too many things on our list. I guess that is it, like I said, nothing too exciting going on here.

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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#143 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 08:25 AM
 
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Somehow I missed the new April thread. I was just wondering how everyone was doing and confused why no one had posted. Then I realized I probably missed a new thread. I have to be out the door to work in 10 minutes, so don't have time to read all 8 pages. I'll read it tonight!

As for me -- AF arrived on 3/30, ending a 50 day cycle. I've never had a cycle that long before. I think I O'd yesterday, on CD 11, which will be the earliest I have ever O'd if I am correct. I was having some spotting last night, and still this morning. I have never had that at O before. I'm not quite sure what my body has been up to the last couple of months! : If I did O, we actually have decent timing, although it wasn't planned that way. I didn't really expect to O until next weekend!
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#144 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 08:39 AM
 
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Karen,
for that loooong cycle, I hope things even out for you this cycle. It does look like you O'd :

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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#145 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 11:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sarah: I'm sorry about the BFN. Nothing is set in stone though and your temp is still sky high. Maybe you implanted late and just need another day or so before the hcg level is high enough to be read on a test.

Kripa: I agree with everything you said about things becoming a bit impersonal. Basically, DH tried to keep it fun, but after so many months it stops being fun. It becomes so mechanical and he expects you to just burst into flames like he does and be ready to go within a minute when for women it takes longer to become aroused. I read a Chinese saying that went something like "Man is like fire, woman is like water. It is fire that brings water to a boil. So it is man's duty to bring woman to a boil" or something like that. And yes, Peter was funny, but kind of ewww...

And now let me rant for Kripa about people telling us to relax....

Relax....The word most of us who haven't conceived within three months get spat at us. "Oh, you need to relax. Then you'll get pregnant" or "Just put down that thermometer and relax." or "Just relax". If I hear RELAX just one more time I'm going to scream!!!!! Don't people think that we've been trying to relax? Do you think that relaxing is the key to some holy grail of conception? It isn't. I like so many of you here have relaxed, I've obsessed, I've cried, I've screamed, I've gone into days of depression at the sight of my low temperature or even AF. So why do people tell us to relax? I can't stand being told to relax because the people who say it usually have never had to wait 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, a year or more to conceive a baby. To tell someone to relax I think is an insult. Like you aren't doing it right or something. Alright none probably made any sense, but I can't stand people telling me to relax. It's annoying!:

As for me, things are going good. Another very romantic and happy evening of BD'ing for me. : I started to feel ovulation pains yesterday in my right side. My temp is still low though so I'm expecting a jump either tomorrow or Thursday. I think we did a great job this month with the OPKs. Those things really work nicely. Other than that nothing major is going on. I do have a Vermont Lactation Consultant Association conference this Thurs/Fri which will be very informative and I get some educational hours as well. I'm really looking forward to it because I'll make some contacts with some LCs who can help me continue with my hours (hopefully). As for taxes, we usually pay someone to do them for us, but since DH and I were procrastinating about finding an accountant, we're stuck to do them ourselves. DH bought a tax program for us because we have a LOT of things on our taxes, from last year's interest on my student loan to all the money we donated to charity, not to mention the sale of our house and or regular wages, we would have done better to pay someone to do this for us. Oh well. DH is taking care of it so I'm just going to let him. I hope everybody is having a good day.

Oh yeah, Karen!! I'm so happy to see you again. I was wondering where you were! Heck I'm wondering where a few of the members are at this point. Anyways, it's nice to have you back, and all the best for a short stay again.

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#146 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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Hi Karen! I was wondering where you were too. : for an earlier O this month!

Sarah, hang in there. I hate seeing BFNs, as that’s all I’ve seen so far (even on OPKs). I'm : for you!

Quote:
Originally Posted by kJad29 View Post
It becomes so mechanical and he expects you to just burst into flames like he does and be ready to go within a minute when for women it takes longer to become aroused. I read a Chinese saying that went something like "Man is like fire, woman is like water. It is fire that brings water to a boil. So it is man's duty to bring woman to a boil" or something like that.
Oh, Amen.


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Originally Posted by kJad29 View Post
Relax....The word most of us who haven't conceived within three months get spat at us. "Oh, you need to relax. Then you'll get pregnant" or "Just put down that thermometer and relax." or "Just relax". If I hear RELAX just one more time I'm going to scream!!!!! Don't people think that we've been trying to relax? Do you think that relaxing is the key to some holy grail of conception? It isn't. I like so many of you here have relaxed, I've obsessed, I've cried, I've screamed, I've gone into days of depression at the sight of my low temperature or even AF. So why do people tell us to relax? I can't stand being told to relax because the people who say it usually have never had to wait 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, a year or more to conceive a baby. To tell someone to relax I think is an insult. Like you aren't doing it right or something. Alright none probably made any sense, but I can't stand people telling me to relax. It's annoying!:
Yes!!!



Thanks again for the kind words, everyone. I felt a little bad yesterday for bashing DH, but I was pretty frustrated since he told me this over the phone. He made an appt with the doctor that my naturopath works with, and he will order the test. I had spoken with her about it (the ND), and she agreed that any doctor would be able to order the tests. (She could not b/c naturopaths are not recognized/licensed in our state ) So DH rent to his regular doc, who basically just told him it hasn’t been long enough, we should wait a while longer, then go to my Obgyn and have them refer us to a fertility specialist. Well, I’m not ready for that (especially the waiting part), and a SA is a very simple test – I am starting to think all men should get them on a regular basis. : And his dr said they usually start testing the woman's fertility first. I have read info to the contrary lately - it doesn't make sense to test the woman first (especially if, as in my case, she has seemingly normal cycles) b/c the tests for women are invasive and expensive, but for a man it is very simple (and feels good.)

All this time, DH has been the one offering to have himself tested, for several months now. At first I didn’t think that was necessary, and thought we’d wait a few more cycles before doing it. And he still insists that he has no problem getting the test done. He just doesn’t want to make the phone calls. And he never questions doctors.

Also, my ND wants to have me take a month-long saliva hormone test, which I would have to start at the beginning of my next cycle. But she wants to wait to see how the SA comes out, b/c if it’s a problem with DH, then she won’t bother doing the saliva test. So I’ve been kind of in a rush for him to get it done for that reason. But I’m starting to think we should probably do the saliva test anyway.

Mama to J (Apr 01 '08) and N (Feb 13 '10)
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#147 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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(Disclaimer: The establishment of a TMI-free zone within the "TTC #1 in Our 30s" thread is contingent upon the sensitive and appropriate conveyance of relevant information pertaining to the preparation, procurement, and maintenance of pregnancy. The rules of conduct as described in the MotheringDotCommune "User Agreement" preclude any perceived privileges within the TMI-free zone. Any opinions expressed herein about cervical fluid, intercourse, or other sticky things do not necessarily represent the views of MotheringDotCommune. Thank you.)
: oh, that's HILARIOUS!!! Indeedly!! I totally agree -

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Couldn't find Instead Cups at the grocery store. Kiya - where does one get a "proper" menstrual cup? How do you clean it? By hand with some soap in the sink?
Usually you find them either online (divacup.com, thekeeper.com) or in your local natural/health food store.
And yup - a little soap & hot water, and about a yearly vinger/water soak or boil. I have a keeper, which is latex, and I believe that the divacup and the mooncup are silicone.

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Thanks I just don't even know what to think anymore. I guess I'll just hang out till Thursday and test again if af doesn't find me.
Oh, I'm still just hoping it was too early!

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I'm loving the flurry of silly/official writing from everyone! "appreciable traffic" had me lol.

Kiya, Which day do you think you O'd? :
I'm right there with you re: Uncle Sam and owing, ugh! And I'm also part of the group that hasn't even started my taxes...thankfully around February I started pulling everything together, and it will mostly be the same as last year, but oh how I hate this time of the year. I'm hoping to start them tonight. : Why am I hiding under the chair? Because as my chiro says, if I meant that I wouldn't say "hoping". My mom is coming to visit on Friday and Saturday, so I have to at least start them before that or I'll have to lie to her about it.


I'm trying to find and keep my neutral ground this cycle. For some reason my hope is much higher this cycle, so I'm trying to find that neutral ground. I don't want to be negative, but I don't want to convince myself that I'm pregnant either...neutral ground.
I don't have to guess - CD33!! : Now, the 2WW.

I actually have all of our tax stuff pulled together, and I think I actually DID most of them - that's how I knew how much we owed. I just didn't finish it. I'm talking myself into finishing, and not requesting an extension, but - Ugggh.

I know what you mean about neutral ground. Last cycle, I nearly drove myself batty with the psychosomatic 'symptoms', and I hadn't even really ovulated! This cycle, with the OPK's and the ovulation - it's even harder - but I'm really trying hard to prep myself mentally, either way, ya know? *sigh*

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#148 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 12:50 PM
 
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And now let me rant for Kripa about people telling us to relax....

Relax....The word most of us who haven't conceived within three months get spat at us. "Oh, you need to relax. Then you'll get pregnant" or "Just put down that thermometer and relax." or "Just relax". If I hear RELAX just one more time I'm going to scream!!!!! Don't people think that we've been trying to relax? Do you think that relaxing is the key to some holy grail of conception? It isn't. I like so many of you here have relaxed, I've obsessed, I've cried, I've screamed, I've gone into days of depression at the sight of my low temperature or even AF. So why do people tell us to relax? I can't stand being told to relax because the people who say it usually have never had to wait 4 months, 6 months, 8 months, a year or more to conceive a baby. To tell someone to relax I think is an insult. Like you aren't doing it right or something. Alright none probably made any sense, but I can't stand people telling me to relax. It's annoying!:
Weeeellllll, since you already went there...Ok, here's my gripe. People ask me if I have any news and when I say nothings happening yet, then I'm told to relax. I'm starting to get a complex...do I look un-relaxed? Am I walking around looking like a timebomb ready to explode? What amazes me is that even though these are friends, they don't actually know much about my day-to-day life, and other than work my life is pretty laid back. I don't feel obligated to be out doing stuff, thereby always being on the run. I don't like work, that isn't a secret, but the same people who tell me to just relax think it would be insane for me to quit my job. What is my real gripe? My real gripe is people who have actually lost touch with the real me, who I am in this moment, and who insist on judging me based on past me. I've been through so much, but it seems with some that all my actions have to be put neatly into past kripa's box of insecurity. And I can't seem to get them to stop long enough to hear me, and in all honesty I'm starting to not care any more. Although with others it is just a generic "relax", so I guess I'm griping about both angles.

I see a chiro every 10 days, totally relaxing. I work out fairly regularly, totally relaxing. I give reiki 3x a week, which also benefits me, totally relaxing. I eat good, I participate in spiritually uplifting events, I spend quality time with family, I live in an area that totally meshes with my mood, I love on my fur kids, and I throughly enjoy all our friends kids, my relationship with my husband is great. If it wasn't for my job, my life would be pretty sweet, and even with my job, my life is still pretty sweet. How much more relaxed can I get? How would not charting make me more relaxed? I actually enjoy charting and have never found it to be an issue. Would stopping OPK's make me more relaxed? Why is my getting basic things checked through a doctor automatically a tense action? I had such a complex a couple weeks ago thinking it must be true, why would people keep telling me to relax unless I really need to. Then I thought back on the conversations I've had with the people who say this and I remember how the conversations weren't real for various reasons. The second I mention TTC there is a block. I've told hubby to not talk about this with most of our friends, and for the most part I don't either. And the few times I try to, it is always frustrating. That is why I value this board so much. How insane is it to expect someone to not want to discuss a huge life change, especially when it has been going on for many, many months? I mean we are attempting to go from the land of no kids to the land of kids...it isn't like buying a new car...we are voluntarily signing up for a lifetime of love. But we can't talk about it with our "closest" friends or we are thinking too hard or being tense? I could understand if I was saying things like I can't believe it hasn't happened, why is this happening to me, etc, etc. The closest I've ever come to something like that is saying my history gives me cause to worry something could be wrong...but that is true! The fact that I've gone 8 cycles without verifing if my tubes even work right should show that I am pretty relaxed and am just taking each cycle as it comes. And some of this also seems to stem from the fact that after being told in a totally dismissive way that it will happen just wait, I said very matter of factly that there is no guarantee that it will happen, that I know I will have children in my life but there is no guarantee they will be born through me. Now, no matter what I say it is viewed as pessimistic and like I've given up, when really I am just so tired of that particular friend talking to me in such a condescending way. I'm going to end the rant here because it is clearly getting mixed up in current issues that I have with my friendships. I'm in a position of having to redefine some friendships and it's somewhat painful to me, and even though I have tried to talk directly to at least one my attempt was literally ignored because it must have stemmed from me being too sensitive right? I would think it would be easier to have safe, close friendships as an adult, but it really isn't. Plus with most of our friends having kids it can be almost impossible to have a conversation that isn't constantly interrupted...not the best environment for heart-to-hearts to get back on track. Ok, thus ends the rant that turned into a pity party.

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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#149 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 12:56 PM
 
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I don't have to guess - CD33!! : Now, the 2WW.
Sweet, I'm not too good at interpreting charts. Looking good!

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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#150 of 405 Old 04-10-2007, 01:03 PM
 
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Also, my ND wants to have me take a month-long saliva hormone test, which I would have to start at the beginning of my next cycle. But she wants to wait to see how the SA comes out, b/c if it’s a problem with DH, then she won’t bother doing the saliva test. So I’ve been kind of in a rush for him to get it done for that reason. But I’m starting to think we should probably do the saliva test anyway.
Wow and I thought a one day saliva test was intense! We'll support you through it if you do it.

I made hubby promise to make his appointment today for his physical. That is my big gun, once he promises to do something he is pretty good about following through.

Mama to 3 year old DS and awaiting #2 in June
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