40+ and TTC: it's SUMMER! - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-06-2007, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is the thread for those of us 40 and over who are trying to conceive. Since there are a couple of new folks (including myself) I thought I'd start with an introduction and encourage others to do the same (so we poor newbies don't have to read through the whole other thread, lol).

I'll be 40 in January, have two kids (5 and almost 3) and I'm starting my first TTC cycle as of yesterday. I'm just monitoring CM for now, as DH and I seem to be pretty fertile based on the other two kids' conceptions. But I suppose if that doesn't work I'll move to charting.

Baby Dust to us all!

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Old 07-06-2007, 06:01 PM
 
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Welcome to TTC Piglet!

Have a good time msgoodbuns~!

I've been TTC for a long time, and though I don't check in all the time I do follow everyone's journey!

Here's to a very fertile summer
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Old 07-06-2007, 06:35 PM
 
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Juneau and Lynne, I'm so sorry for your losses. I wish you the best of luck in the coming months.

Myself, I detected no ovulation this month - never caught it on the OPK, and temperatures were all over the map, and I never really seemed to have much mucous. Of course we DTD anyway : , but I expect AF tomorrow (and am pretty sure that will happen based on how I feel.)

I was pretty bummed for a while this week, wondering if I'd become anovulatory or what. But I read up on it, and it seems unlikely that with regular periods that would be the case. Still I have no idea when or if I O'd this month.

Anyway, I feel better today as I've amassed an arsenal for the upcoming months. I got the ClearBlue Fertility monitor, the internet strips which are more sensitive than the ones I was using, and Robitussin. I'm ready! I'll try to figure out how to post my FF chart, but it may not be much help as there's no real pattern there yet.

So here's lots of to those of us giving it a go again this month!

Besh wishes all,
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Old 07-06-2007, 06:39 PM
 
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I'm charting again. 41 and trying for #2. DS just turned 2. I've been anovulatory a lot.

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Old 07-07-2007, 12:59 AM
 
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Hi

I have been lurking but with a new 40+ thread it seemed like a good time to jump in. I am 44, have a 10 year old DS and a new husband who is turning 48 next week. He has one 19 year old DS. My cycles were always regular but short (24-27 days). My doctor said that as long as my cycles were regular I was ovulating but I am not convinced I am.

We have been TTC since January with my getting more and more focused on it. I am charting now but haven't seen a pattern yet - we were vacationing last month and I missed too many temps. I just bought B6 and Vitex to see if they can help. I am trying to not get too obsessed with this so I am not on FF. I am on CD 9 hoping that with a little more focus we can make something happen.

Good luck to us all

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Old 07-07-2007, 04:53 PM
 
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Hi from vacation (my cousin's DH has a laptop!!!). I'm Ms GB, and I'm single (although dating MC now - whom I see once or twice a week due to schedules, his kids, etc.) I've been ttc since Jan. 2006, with a 6 month break this year due to stress, etc. Anyway, my cycles are somewhat regular, but occasionally wonky. I test with OPK and temps, plus CP and CM during the time when I think I'm close to O'ing. Well, I should run. Family is around. See you all soon. Welcome to the new folks!

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Old 07-08-2007, 08:04 PM
 
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I'm Laurie I turned 44 in May. We have been ttc for at least a year but didn't use anything to prevent even before that since DS was born. I am charting but now only cm and bd days I gave up temping and most of the time I am sane about it. I use saliva scope when I remember.
I have 4 children all from the same marraige of 23 years. (21, 19, 6 and 4) The six year old is our adopted blessing and the 4 yo is our surprise pregnancy. For some reason I thought since I got pregnant it would happen again easily.
I actually told DH today that I don't think my body is up for a pregnancy or for delivery as I have complications but I would love another baby> So there you have it.
I am working on losing some weight and getting into better physical shape.

MsGB I am holding my breath for you. :

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Old 07-08-2007, 10:09 PM
 
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Thanks for the new thread Piglet. I've been lurking for the past several months, but it's a little intimidating to join in on page 60-something.

I'm almost 40 and have a 6yo DS and a 4yo still nursing DD. I got pregnant quickly the first 3 times (one m/c), so was really surprised to have it take so long this time.

DH and I are "sub-fertile", he has some morphology and motility issues and I have borderline progesterone. We just finished our first IUI. We had to use frozen swimmers because of a business trip so I'm not too hopeful. Dr. put me on a progesterone supplement this month after a chemical pregnancy, so at least I'm not spotting for a week before AF. If our bits do connect, at least they will have a fighting chance!


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Old 07-09-2007, 05:00 PM
 
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I will be 42 in November. Actively TTCing baby #3.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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Old 07-10-2007, 07:20 AM
 
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Well, I'm at 11 DPO. Last night had severe insomnia. Ate just about everything in sight at midnight. Felt nauseous afterwards, and thru out the night. Temp rose to 98.8 this a.m. after only 4 hours of sleep. Had to turn on the fan, I was so hot (I hate using fans and A/C units, unless it's sweltering outside - which it isn't. It's a whopping 57 degrees and rainy!) Of course, BFN on 2 tests (dollar tree and EPT Certainty). Now I'm feeling crampy. Darn, I was hoping for a BFP this morning. But all is not lost yet...

I'm going back to bed, bummed. Hope I can get more sleep.
Anyone else far into the 2ww???

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Old 07-10-2007, 11:00 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msgoodbuns View Post
Well, I'm at 11 DPO. Last night had severe insomnia. Ate just about everything in sight at midnight. Felt nauseous afterwards, and thru out the night. Temp rose to 98.8 this a.m. after only 4 hours of sleep. Had to turn on the fan, I was so hot (I hate using fans and A/C units, unless it's sweltering outside - which it isn't. It's a whopping 57 degrees and rainy!) Of course, BFN on 2 tests (dollar tree and EPT Certainty). Now I'm feeling crampy. Darn, I was hoping for a BFP this morning. But all is not lost yet...

I'm going back to bed, bummed. Hope I can get more sleep.
Anyone else far into the 2ww???
When is AF expected? I know with both of my kids I didn't get BFP's till the day AF was expected. Which this cycle will be this Saturday. Of course last month I was 4 days early with AF.

So there is hope. You are having some really awesome signs.

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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Old 07-10-2007, 11:48 AM
 
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KatW,

My LP's have typically been short - 5 at their worst, 7-9 typically, 10 plus on occasion. So 11 DPO is great for me. Granted, I am taking B6 and progesterone suppositories this cycle, too. One thing I noticed yesterday (TMI coming....) is that my pee smells really strong, even though I'm drinking alot. Maybe my sense of smell is more acute?

For those of you who didn't read my post on the 2ww thread, I felt like ripping off MC's head yesterday, and breaking up with him. (Fortunately, we didn't talk!). He's being weird - on Sunday (on the plus side, he did call me Sunday after the ex picked up the kids), he said the drive to my place was too long, so he didn't want to get together Mon or Tues nights. I offered to drive to his place instead, and he said he would call me after work yesterday to talk about it. Of course, the phone never rang. I'm sure he's tired from spending the week w/his kids, but I don't feel any love (or at least sensitivity) coming my way. I'm thinking that he doesn't have the balls to tell me whatever it is that's on his mind. But I'm afraid to broach the subject, as I would likely put too much pressure on him and that would be the end of everything. (As you will recall, he's separated and she's putting together the divorce paperwork.) Plus, if I am pg, that would not be a good thing to do. The last time I saw him was Sat/Sun June 30th - 10 days ago, so I don't think I'm being unreasonable wanting to get together again this week.

Anyway, hopefully today will be a more stable day emotionally speaking. Anyone who wants to provide input into the situation is welcome to do so. I am in need of lots of love and support!!!

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Old 07-10-2007, 01:03 PM
 
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I just reviewed all of my cycles. When on Progesterone (cream or suppositories), most of my LP's were 11, 13, or 14 days long (shortest was 9, longest was 17). So I'm not getting my hopes up too high at this point, especially considering that my BD timing wasn't great. I guess it goes to show that Progesterone really does make a difference in LP length.

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Old 07-10-2007, 01:52 PM
 
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I had a blood test yesterday to confirm that I'm not pregnant and went off the progesterone a few days early so AF can get her visit over with.

Hope she moves through quickly, cause we're going out of town in a couple of weeks and I want to get an IUI in.

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Old 07-12-2007, 02:29 AM
 
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Well, MC avoided me like the plague these past few days, so I called him tonight (many, many times until I reached him). My instinct told me that he had a change of heart about dating me. (Ms GB has the most accurate instinct around). Anyway, he said it felt weird having me at his place a few weekends ago, and feels like he has "things to do" to move on w/his life now that he is separated and divorcing. He wanted to still talk on the phone, etc and not lose my friendship. I, of course, with dignity in hand, told him that I wasn't into being his phone friend...that it wasn't enough for me, and that I wasn't going to be strung along until he decided he was ready to move on. I told him that, if I was him, I wouldn't throw away someone who made him happy, feel good, laugh, was supportive, etc. He didn't want to end it, but didn't want to continue it, either (other than on the phone). So, I said..."I guess that's that. I'm going to hang up now. Bye." Of course, I'm in tears, but I'm giving myself a day or two then I am moving on 100%. That is, unless he calls with a change of heart in that time frame.

Anticipating this result, I went on Match.com and set up a date for Saturday night already! I hope I like the new guy "Bob", b/c I really enjoyed having someone in my life again, and really want a good relationship. I felt so much more alive and sexy, and loved the increased sex drive!

On the ttc front, I am fairly certain that AF will visit tomorrow. I've had very light spotting today, with cramps this a.m.. Took an HPT a little while ago, which was negative. I am SO ready for my hormones to stabilize so that my mood improves. Of course, this "thing" with MC hasn't helped my mood one bit these past 4 days. And people always wonder why I'm not married. I swear, it's not me. I'm not a commitment phobe or anything. It's THEM.


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Old 07-12-2007, 03:10 AM
 
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I'll be 40 in several weeks, and we have been TTC#3 for almost 20 months now. Had general tests done for thyroid, anemia, other stuff...don't want to get into too much medical involvement yet, so am focusing on eating well, taking vitamins/flax/minerals, losing some weight, getting more sleep, etc. We'll see!

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Old 07-12-2007, 01:23 PM
 
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First, welcome Scorch.

Ladies, am I supposed to stop with the progesterone suppositories at some point, to get AF? Or, perhaps I should ask if AF won't come unless I discontinue the Progesterone suppositories. I'm afraid to stop in the event that I am actually pg (tho doubtful). My spotting these past few days has been exceptionally light and infrequent, so in the ideal world, it could be implantation spotting. Cramps came only briefly yesterday morning. No signs of spotting or AF yet today. I'm going to wait until tomorrow to POAS wth HPT one more time. That will be 14DPO. I don't remember ever having to go off P to encourage Flo. Anyone able to help here?

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Old 07-12-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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MsGB First so sorry about MC of course it is his major loss. But that doesn't stop it from hurting. ((hugs)) As for your other question I would wait until 18 dpo and if af hasn't arrived and you are still testing neg maybe go in for a blood test.

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Old 07-12-2007, 03:51 PM
 
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So happy to find this group! I'm 43 and TTC #2, we had no problems with #1 at age 40 (PG within 2 months) so hoping for similar luck this time around. Going on 3rd month now and might start charting if it does not happen this month. I'm really hoping for good news this time around as I think I might have had some implantation bleeding ~two days ago. AF is due on the 16th-18th :

Good luck to everyone!!!!
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Old 07-12-2007, 11:37 PM
 
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Welcome to the newbies!

msgoodbuns, my heart is with you. sorry for the hurt, although it IS his loss.
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Old 07-13-2007, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi speedknitter! I'm a knitter, too!

MsGB, I'm sorry to hear of your broken heart. What worked for me after a string of broken relationships was to completely change the type of guy I was going for. I picked someone based on their proven commitment and desire for a long-term relationship. I also picked someone who chased *me*, when usually that was a turnoff (I guess I was one of those sadistic types who always persued those who played hard to get). We've been together for over 7 years, married for almost 6 and are still very happy and committed to each other.

I'm on day 8 of this cycle now and will start checking CM in the morning. We'll see when the ol' EWCM appears...

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Old 07-13-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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Hi to all! Even though I'm not TTC, I was about 2 years ago at age 42. Now I'm a ripe 44 with a 10 month old ds. I think the fact that I'm lurking here off and on means that I still have a lingering desire for #3, but I won't admit it. If it goes like dc#2, then I won't get AF back until around 20 months pp, so I would be ancient (hah!) by the time I might get pg. (45 anyone?)

Good luck to you all and hi to Velveteen!
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Old 07-13-2007, 03:21 AM
 
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I'm another graduate who can't resist coming back to see how my friends are doing. I'm 42 and nine weeks along as a single mother by choice via low-tech at home inseminations with a known donor. I also have an adult daughter and a teenaged son, who were born within the context of a brief but unfortunate marriage. I'm pretty sure this will be my last child, but you never know; I once felt the same way about my fifteen year old.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MsGB)))))))))))))))) )))))))))))))))))

I'm so, so sorry about MC but proud of you for standing up for yourself and letting him know that a phone relationship was not acceptable; I've done the LDR thing for seven years (counting the two years we didn't speak because we hated each other) and it sucks big time! If I didn't know just how bad it sucked, I would be posting on the "TTC 30+" thread instead of this one because Bean would be about seven years old instead of ten weeks gestation! I wasted so much of my life on that man (who I still love and who i have broken up with and gotten back together with a half a dozen times since I last mentioned him here) and I honestly think that my lack of a viable marriage has to do with the fact that I am so NOT a commitmentphobe that I will stick with a relationship that is obviously going nowhere and miss out on the opportunity to begin a new relationship that could be much better.

My biggest regret is not ending a brand new not particularly promising relationship when a man I had known and admired for years as a friend finally told me that he would have liked to be something more. This happened when I was about 22, and our timing has been off ever since--I'm involved when he is single and vice versa! He would have made an outstanding husband and father and the other guy wasn't smitten enough to have been very hurt by a rejection.

Stupid stupid stupid!

I hope things go well with Bob on Saturday and that someday you will be able to look back on this and pat yourself on the back for not making the mistake I did.

Your chart does not look very promising, but tbh, the generalized grumpiness sounds VERY familiar to me because that was exactly how I felt the day I stomped off to the drugstore to buy what turned out to be the test that gave me a BFP; it could just be the progesterone playing tricks on you, since I had much worse morning sickness during the cycles I used a (much milder and weaker) over the counter progesterone creme than I ever had during this real pregnancy. dd said I was impossible to live with and begged me to stop using it.

Your symptoms and discomfort are very real, so please be easy on yourself even if it is just artificial hormones giving you artificial first trimester ickiness.

always showed up on her own without my having to stop the creme, but it was a much weaker concentration of progesterone than the suppositories. You will need to continue the suppositories for most of the first trimester (if you are pregnant) and will probably need medical advice about weaning off of them slowly. I still blame my own carelessness with the creme for my possible chemical back in December.

I'm being downright rude ignoring your question about the betas; I haven't had them done, nor have I had an early ultrasound. I'm going a rather extremely noninvasive route with this pregnancy so far and am feeling better and better about it, although I know that my choice isn't for everyone. An example is that after reading the research on false positives from the glucose urine dipsticks, it was painfully obvious to me that I would be better off using a glucometer (electronic device that insulin-dependant diabetics use to measure blood sugar levels) which is so much more accurate and really isn't that much more expensive.

Everyone I know who is going the OB route is still doing the dipsticks because they are under "Doctor's Orders" and are completely uninterested in reading what the Journal of Family Medicine had to say about the dipsticks two years ago.

Oh well; to each his own.
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Old 07-13-2007, 11:36 AM
 
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Spider I opted out of all tests with my little guy too. I had two ultrasounds. One at 15 weeks to check for twins and one right before delivery to check fluid levels etc. I was being induced for complications. I was opting for the least intervention possible and planning an out of hospital birth. Which I did not get but I still went drug free. Good for you Mama!!!

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Old 07-13-2007, 02:40 PM
 
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I introduced myself on the last thread, but will do another short one. I'm 42 with a 17 month old dd who is still bf. We've been ttc since af returned at 11 months. Going so/so, my cycles are a bit weird. Had an anovulatory one and one that was 32 days, then last month, it was 23 days and only a 9 day lp. I started on b complex this time so that I'd hopefully lengthen my lp.

The funny thing that happened this cycle though was that my dh is a bit skeptical about the fertility monitor and timing bd, so he is just in the let's have more sex camp, which I am definitely willing to try. So anyway, we bd'ed on Thursday which was cycle day 10, and my monitor showed low fertility. Then this morning, I got up and had peak fertility. I was quite excited because I guess our bd yesterday was well timed after all. I told him we need to do it again tonight though. Will keep you posted.
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Old 07-13-2007, 04:36 PM
 
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Thank you all for the love and support. It was also good for me to spend time with my cousins (female) during this difficult time, too. We bonded and I was able to get some good girl talk in. I'm still hurting and one part of me wants him to call and say that he can't live without me, that he misses me and made a mistake, but the other part of me knows that he won't be able to give me enough right now to make it worth while.

I think AF is here - much heavier spotting today, with a.m. cramps. I'm disappointed, but realistically knew that my BD timing was off. I still have some swimmers in the freezer, and with any luck, will meet someone new this summer with whom I hit it off enough to want to get intimate again. I think one of the hardest things for me with this MC thing was that I was relatively happy before MC came back into my life, and now that I've been reminded of how nice a relationship is (when it's going well), I don't think I will be content without one. I feel like there's a big hole in my life now, and was reminded of how much I have to give to a special someone.

BTW, Piglet, MC is a relationship person, and he did "chase" me by contacting me after working on his marriage (and having it fail) for the past 2 years. (We worked together 2 years ago). His problem is that he's too fresh off of his own heart break, and probably needs a lot of time to heal and be ready to commit again.

However, I will continue to seek a good guy....and with any luck, will find one.

Keeping my chin up in New England....

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Old 07-14-2007, 12:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey MsGB...hope I didn't offend. That was just my own situation. Anyways, like I said, I wish I'd had as much self-respect as you do back when I was always chasing, chasing after the one who just really wasn't going to work out...

Okay, so AF is over and I'm on cd9. Some time in the next week I hope to see some EWCM.

Question: do any of you have doubts? I go back and forth some days between really really wanting another, and then thinking "what am I, crazy?". I already have two healthy wonderful kids...am I the only one who feels this way sometimes?

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Old 07-14-2007, 01:21 AM
 
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Hi Piglet,

No offense taken whatsoever. I was just suggesting that he IS a relationship guy, but unfortunately, the timing is too close to his separation / divorce, and he is not "ready" to fully move into a new relationship. The only thing difficult about choosing a guy who chases you is that, sometimes, when the chase is over, they lose interest. Hence the relationship part of the equation is also essential (as you stated). However, I need to also be attracted to, and interested in, the guy in order to be in it 100%. I've never been good at hanging with someone just b/c they want me. I need to want them, too.

As for the waivering, yes, there are definitely days when I wonder whether I would freak out having a child on my own. Life as I know it would be drastically different. On the other hand, if I never have a child (or give up trying while I can still ovulate) b/c of my fears, then I could only blame myself for being afraid of what a child would ultimately bring to my life. My life has been full of challenges over the past few decades, and I've become a lot stronger as a result. I loved being around my cousin's 6 and 8 year old girls this past week. They are such dolls! Watching my cousin mother them was amazing, and I would love to have the chance to do that for a child (or children) of my own. Fear is always a big part of any important decision in our lives. If we never acted due to our fears, then we would have so little personal growth, and we never give our dreams the opportunity to become our realities.

LegalShield Sales Representative.  (Affordable access to quality law firms throughout the US and Canada...low monthly fee!  Ask me about it!)  Mom to Justice :in doggie heaven (13 yr old Dalmatian), Single, age 47.  TTC'd for years.  Now lurking and rooting on my fellow women friends!

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Old 07-14-2007, 10:58 AM
 
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Welcome to all the new members!

Msgb - I'm so sorry about your relationship troubles. I think we have all been there and it's so hard. I felt so lonely after my divorce and during the time before I met my DH. I hope you conceive soon because I know you will make a great mom.

Well, it's been almost two weeks since my m/c and we just got back from a trip to the beach and I'm feeling pretty good. I'm so torn about what to do... It's hard to put into words. I feel so sad about closing the door on having another child, especially following a loss. I feel a void and it's hard not to TTC. I was just crying and crying last night at the thought of purposely preventing a pregnancy. My poor husband didn't know what to do or say and didn't really understand. He said I am just overwhelmed right now and I guess he's right. This will be the first time ever in my married life that I'm actively preventing pregnancy since I had major infertility issues for so long, etc. I would love another baby but I'm so afraid of another loss. Writing this out...I think I know that I need much more time to heal from this m/c so I can think more clearly. Sorry to go on about this on a TTC post. I needed to get this out and feel comfortable here.

Good luck to all of you. I'll be checking in often.

Homeschooling mom to 2 boys (4/01) and (1/05)
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Old 07-14-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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I'm out this month. AF come to visit yesterday. I told myself not to be sad, but I am. :

Anne, Mama to Conner 2/27/04 blahblah.gif  Gabrielle 2/6/06 W/LMC-TCS, Neurogenic Bladder, AFO & KAFO wearer, Neurogenic Bowel energy.gif & Delaney 5/12/08 mischievous.gif &  Beethoven cat.gif& Gizmo cat.gif

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