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40+ It's Autumn ~ Time for Change

29K views 933 replies 40 participants last post by  speedknitter 
#1 ·
Here we go ladies. We were hanging out in Summer when we need to move on to the next season in our lives. May this one be filled with the fullness of harvest.
 
#778 ·
Because of the blizzard and the fact that I've been sick, I decided to stay in town and skip the IUI this cycle. I can still try for March or April, before I have to switch to new insurance. However, I did call my local donor and got a specimen from him tonight on my way home from work. I may call him again tomorrow for a 2nd one. What the heck! I've got nothing to lose. That ripe follicle should be a big enough target for the sperm!
 
#779 ·
Spider, Terran is looking SO cute!!!
 
#780 ·
VM, I do hope things work out for the best for you.
MsG, the high cholesterol could be a sign of inflammation. Some people seem to be able to lower their cholesterol by cutting out nearly all fats (vegetable and animal), meat, refined grains and sugars and dairy, while others seem to be able to lower it by cutting out all sugar, processed foods, refined grains, and lowering their carbs (which if you cut out sugar and refined grains lowers most people's carbs anyway, LOL). Fried foods are an obvious no-no with both plans. It depends on the person, from what I've seen. Both diets allow only whole foods, they just differ radically in which whole foods.
 
#782 ·
Thanks Jen.

Spider, Terran is very sweet!

MsGBs, I'm hoping for some good swimmers for you and a nice healthy egg.


Hi Laurie!

The weather is actually beautiful here today. Well, beautiful for Ottawa in the winter anyway.
Still pretty tired. Probably because I haven't worked out in 2 weeks. My last run was along the beach in Florida two weeks ago tomorrow. I am letting the kids watch way more TV than they are usually allowed. DH is down in his workshop which is his stress relief.
I think I will just make lentil soup for dinner and throw some ingredients in the breadmaker.

Once you get over the sadness of it, it really is amazing how much blood and "stuff" our bodies make in such a short time. My AF is only 3 weeks "late" but there is certainly a lot more of everything than I was imagining.

I got a couple of nice PMs from Lynne. She is clearly thinking of us all even though she is not TTC-ing.

Has anyone heard from Susan? I hope she is not avoiding posting here becasue of me. It really does not make me sad that she is PG. On the contrary, it gives me hope.

Hugs
 
#783 ·
Hi everyone! Veganmama I will miss you over on the October board! But yes keep trying, ALL of you! I am really thrilled and a bit shocked that it finally happened. I went for my first visit to my OB this week, actually just saw one of the nurse practicioners and she did an u/s and we saw a heartbeat, pretty cool. I must have ovulated later last cycle because I was almost a week off on the date.
Oh well, doesn't really matter I guess, we have a due date now!

We have not told anyone that I'm PG yet, just my doc and also my acupuncturist, he was thrilled
I think that was definitely helpful to me, just hope I can continue to afford it while pregnant also. I had to cancel this week's appointment because I just did not have the money


DH has been in China all week, he's returning tomorrow morning so its been a busy week for me. We have a bunch of changes coming up in the next few months (long story) but in the end we will be in a better position financially than we have been, the last few years have been a real disaster for us.
I really want to get it all straightened out and back on solid ground before October!

Today Julie and I are headed off to "Stitches", which is the annual mecca for knitters here in the SF Bay Area. I'm going to meet up with a knitting buddy I have not seen in a year or so, really looking forward to it! yarn yarn yarn!


I am sending you all my good baby vibes and hoping for more good news soon...who's coming up next for a 2ww???
 
#784 ·
VM It's good to see you keeping your spirits up; I know I'm a bit before your time or ahead of your time, depending on your perspective, but I lurk more than I post and have been keeping up with your journey.

MsGB I'm thrilled that your follie has a chance to become a person in spite of everything. It's amazing to me how small any of our chances are. My eggs are definitely coming to the end of their shelf life, but it only took the one healthy egg to become one healthy child. The more I look at my chart, the mor convinced I am that I O'd two days after the insem, which is a long time for a Y sperm to remain viable, but that sturdy, patient sperm "grew up" to become a sturdy, patient little boy.

Laurie I'm so glad that it's not depressing to you for me to pop in and show off my little one. You've been such a good friend to me during my journey that I can't help wanting to share.

I love Terran's honey coloured skin and how beautiful he is; we haven't had any negative experiences about his being biracial at all.

afm, well--I think I'm going to be back. The donor contacted me to thank me for posting pictures and ooh and aah over my little miracle, compliment me on the way I raise my children, and let me know on no uncertain terms that he's willing to do it again despite the fact that a second TTC journey at over age 45 will be much more difficult, much less likely to resullt in a success story, and much more likely to have losses along the way even in a best case scenario.

I'm not ruling out that possibility, but I'm not weaning my son prematurely or compromising the way I raise him to "beat" some arbitrary age deadline either.

I hope no one minds if I lurk and learn so I can make the best decision for everyone about this matter.
 
#785 ·
VM have you been in Ottawa all your life? I spent my first 8 years there (near Bayshore) and then we moved into the country outside of Arnprior. (Now I live in central NY). I had the same thoughts as you have now; after some sadness and then a week of heavy bleeding I had enough already! It went on for another 5 days before it started to taper off. Then I was able to think about my loss again.

MsGB good back up plan!

Speedknitter ... yay for a due date! and heartbeat! and a healthy pregnancy.

Sara
 
#786 ·
I love that our forum is still pretty active. I appreciate everyone's input and POV on everything...ttc, life, dating, and other health issues. I still think that, if we were all close geographically, we'd make a great group of "live" friends. After all, we've shared so many intimate details of our lives and that's typically what bonds people together.

VM, you have such a good perspective on things, despite your loss and this difficult time. Susan, I'm so glad that you're on your way to having a sweet little one! Please drop by regularly to keep us posted. Spider, I can't believe you're thinking about another one already! That's great! However, I do hope that I"ll have graduated from this thread (at least with my #1) by the time you start trying again. Sara, where are you in your cycle? Laurie, thanks for cheering me on. Pookie / Stealthee, I truly can't believe my cholesterol is high, unless it's from nut butters and Metrx bars. I really don't eat much processed food, except for pretzels and the occasional rice cake (plus a bit of chocolate). I was eating low fat, but recently added whole dairy, since non-fat dairy is detrimental to fertility and full fat dairy is beneficial, but I still don't have that much of it. I may just reduce the nut butters and then get retested in a month or two, to see if that helps, or if this was a fluke. Stealthee, I hope you're right about the dominant follicle theory...that the others disappear once there is a big dominant one. Who knows? But as Spider said, all you need is one good egg!
 
#787 ·
I'm still in the 2ww, my test date according to ff is on Monday -- so far I can't tell either way, no symptoms of PMS or pg, but then I didn't really have any early pg signs with my last pregnancy, and it turned out fine.

MsG, I also hope you get a chance again soon. Spider, I am glad you have a willing donor, and also I totally understand about planning for the next one already. It's that baby greed. Susan, congrats on the continuing pg. Baby dust to all!
 
#788 ·
Pookie, your chart looks awesome!

Veganmama, in July I thought I was going to bleed FOREVER -- and we left two days after my miscarriage for our first trip to Europe. Finally it stopped and then I was so wet from CM (sorry TMI) I had to wear pantiliners to keep from soaking my underwear. That turned into the most amazing eggwhite CM and I think we BD'd five days before I ovulated and I got pregnant again that very cycle. Europe was a good distraction for me; I'm sorry that you have to keep working through it all.

AFM, we celebrated dd's 3rd and dh's 40th birthdays yesterday. Big party, lots of fun, but I am tired! Luckily I haven't O'd yet because there has been no opportunity to BD. I expect it soon, though I hope it will be a couple days yet.
 
#789 ·
Jen, that chart looks amazing! I have my fingers crossed for you.

Susan, thank you for the update. That's wonderful news!!! Yay!

Juneau, had your health care provide told you to wait until you had a normal AF to try again? I am really up in the air about this. I guess it sort of depends. If I too "bleed forever" like it feels right now (14 days and counting) and don't O for quite awhile then i'd be more inclined NOT to wait for another AF. How long after the m/c did it take you to O do you think?
I really appreciate your sharing this with me, I hope it doesn't make it harder for you.......

Sunrise, I was born in England, grew up in Vancouver and moved to Ottawa when I was 18. Thank you, I do worry that I am going to get depressed once the bleeding starts to taper off and I move out of "crisis mode". You put my fears into words exactly. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

MsGBs, we are all hoping that you graduate soon!

Spider, women are usually more fertile within 2 years of giving birth so that may help to "discount" your age, KWIM? How long does it usually take you to get PPAF? My first was 6 weeks (even though she was exclusively BF for 6 months) and I was still neursing her 7x a day at 12 months when I conceived DS. With DS (a much bigger eater), I got PPAF at 5 months, as soon as I introduced rice cereal. He is still nursing 2 times a day.

Oops, he just hurt himself so I will nurse him, back later.....

OK, he seems OK.

Laurie, how are you doing?

Hugs to anyone I missed.
 
#790 ·
I am hanging in there. Thanks for asking I am actually waiting for AF to show this week. Wondering if she will be early again. No chance of pregnancy we didn't dtd around O time at all. I was really sick so it just wasn't appealing to me. LOL.
 
#791 ·
I wrote a long reply to Veganmama last night and I swore I posted it; and it's nowhere to be found.


At any rate, I looked at my chart from July. I think I O'd on about CD20 (counting the first day of HEAVY bleeding as CD1). That's only about 3 days late for me. We DTD quite a few days before that but the CM was so good the swimmers survived. I don't know exactly when I O'd because I wasn't charting, but I temped about three days later and my temp was still down, so I had thought we missed the window. I was wrong!

My healthcare provider didn't say anything that time around about waiting for my first AF to appear. After surgery -- a D&C in 2006 and ectopic in August 2007 -- I was told to wait three months. I did the first time but I saw oceans of good CM go down the toilet and regretted it afterwards.

I don't mind sharing my experiences; actually it helps to talk about them to women who understand. First of all, that I'm not crazy for wanting a baby in my 40s, and second, that each loss really is devastating.

Jen, what's up with you?!! Dying to hear, here.
 
#792 ·
Thanks so much Juneau. I just back from my naturopath/acupunturist. She was pretty adamant that she wants me to wait at last a month before I TTC again. I still not really sure what the big deal is. It was very early. I was only PG for 5 weeks and my body figured out something was wrong well before that and started preparing to let go of the PG.
She also knows I will decide what to do myself and she will treat me regardless. I told her I would think about it.
She did agree that blighted ova are more common in "older" pg. And when I first started seeing her she said she generally wants her patients NOT to TTC the first 3 months she is seeing them. Of course, I poo-poo'd that because I had been going to acu for 2 months before I started with her.
Her general premise is that she wants you (and your eggs) as healthy as possible.
Oops, I didn't realize how late it is. Must rush home and make dinner, more later (and it won't all be about me I promise!)
 
#793 ·
Well, I did a POAS test this morning, and it was negative. And it was one of those "early" tests.
No AF yet, though. I could remotely still possibly be pg, but it's doubtful. Sigh. I actually started to tear up today, but it was while I was in DS's coop preschool and I stopped myself because I didn't want to freak any of the kids out. And yesterday, I went to a double baby shower for a couple of moms in a playgroup we've been in for two years. They are both pg with their third kid, too. I swear, when it rains, it pours. I kind of thought, I think, in the back of my mind that if I went to the baby shower and didn't complain, it would somehow bring me luck.
 
#794 ·
Veganmama, you should follow your heart. It may be that your heart tells you to wait when the time comes, and it may be that it tells you to try. Either way will be the right choice for you.

Jen, I'm sorry you got a
. Your chart still looks great and you know it's not over till AF shows. (I have never gotten an early
even when I really was pregnant.)

Well, I had no warning signs (- OPKs, no CM, etc.) but I had a sudden and almost disabling ovulation last night around 9 p.m. Unfortunately, we still hadn't had any chance to DTD and dh was working all night on a grant proposal. I ended up calling him anyhow when I woke up at 12:30 a.m. and told him he'd better come home if we wanted any chance of a baby. Bless him, he did, and we DTD around 1 a.m. But it was four hours after the egg erupted and I don't have too much hope that they'll find each other. Darn it, it was my good side, too.

I'm starting to think how I might pay to have my frozen embryos put back in in a few months. When we did IVF five (!) years ago I had insurance that would cover it. Not so today. But I do have embies! They live in San Diego, which wouldn't be a bad place to visit.
 
#795 ·
It looks like my last post from last night disappeared. WTH?????

Hang in there Jen. I hate seeing that BFN. I stopped testing the last few months because I couldn't stand seeing it. I was 15 DPO when I tested with this PG. My temp always starts going down on 14 DPO and dives on 15 DPO. So I knew I was PG by then.
Lots of women don't test + until later though.
Hugs.

Juneau, you are so wise. Rather than worrying about when I am going to TTc again, I should just wait and see how I feel.....Plus I need to make sure my beta isback down first anyway.

MsGBs, you are awfully quiet. Is everything Ok with you or are you just busy?
 
#796 ·
I am expecting to ovulate any day now.

I would have thought today, but I went in to the fertility clinic for a consult. They did an ultra sound and located my ovaries; found three follicles in the right ovary and one largish one in the left ovary. The large one measured 13 mm with the expectation that it would mature in a few days (Maturity reaching around 16mm and a growth of 1-2 mm a day, something like that). Or, she thought, maybe I had already ovulated. (They said my lining, ovaries and follicles all looked good, which was good news for me to hear.)

They drew blood to test hormone levels.

They offered all these tests, monitoring, and insemination options (all the ones that are talked about here) etc but mostly, for right now, I just want the sperm put in me so I at least have a 1% chance rather then no chance! Met the doctor and he understood and told me to use some OPKs and when I get a positive test call them and and come in for insemination.

MY health insurance doesnt cover this, so although the monitoring of ovulation would be cool, I'll have to rely on my charting and OPKs (which I have only used once and the line never did get darker then the test line
), but I'm fine with that for this month. I'm willing to pay for a couple inseminations, but don't want to rack up the bill with all the blood tests etc. I also want them to "show me" how I can do this at home, which they said I could, but didn't expand on HOW I handle the sperm.

I was getting a little disappointed as they really wanted to have the insurance cover stuff so they can go at it aggressively, (the nurse would talk to me then send in the nurse who knows all about insurance in to discuss the financial side, then another nurse came in to draw blood, then the first nurse would come back and ask if I had any questions....) I was feeling, no, I JUST want the sperm put in me ... so although I asked several times about doing this at home, which she found out that they can send it home with me, I didnt get an explanation on HOW to handle the sperm at home. And I also assumed that IUI was the only way to inseminate me at their clinic, but maybe there is a way to do it that doesn't cost as much so I can go in two days in a row, rather then just one time for an IUI with out monitoring. Anyone have advise on this?

Right now I am just waiting to hear the results of my blood to see if it tells me if I have already ovulated or if I am just about too.

Sara
 
#797 ·
Sara some women here have done insem at home. I know Spider did.
Juneau I didn't know you had frozen embryos. I think I would be really tempted to try for PG with those too.

Hello to all I know I haven't been very talkative lately. I am still not sure where we stand with TTC but today is the first day of a new cycle so I am hopeful once again.
 
#798 ·
Hi Ladies,

Sorry about being so "quiet". I'm out of town for work, but do have my laptop that I can use at night in the hotel room. I did 2 ICI's at home with DS from the local guy...Friday and Saturday nights. I am STILL seeing incredibly fertile CM...crazy! My temps nose dived yesterday, and are slightly up today, so maybe I'm around O time? (I didn't bring any OPK's w/ me). I wish I had sperm last night and today, but I don't, and although I went out for dinner w/a few new co-workers, there weren't any cute guys to persuade to do the romp with me back at the hotel (scary thought anyway, I know, but when you're fertile....).

Sara, just go to the pharmacy and ask for a few syringes. They'll probably want to give you the ones that are small, for administering medicine to a baby, and that's ok. Just use all the sperm, even if it means filling the syring 2 or 3 times. Remind me...is this your BF's sperm that you froze? Just fill the syringe and put it into your va jay jay (!), and empty it. They say you should orgasm to draw the sperm into your cervix / uterus, so if you can make that happen, even better. It's that easy. Yes, it's only intra-cervical, and not intra-uterus, but if you don't want to spend the $$, then it's the way to go. I did it that way a lot, and am not sure that it was the right thing, but at the time, I was broke and was spending $500-$700 / month for one sperm specimen, so another couple hundred $$'s seemed like a lot for the IUI at the dr's office. If you can't use the specimen right away, you'll need to find some dry ice to keep it cold for about 24 hours. You'll have to research places in your local area that have dry ice. I just got it and put it in a small cooler, then picked up the specimen and stuck it inside in a baggie or small container.

Anyway, good luck, and let me know if you have more Q's.

Ms GB
 
#799 ·
Sara, it sounds like you asked the right thread about at home insemination!

MsGBs, I am glad you are OK, I was a little worried. Yay for incredibly fertile CM. I know it makes it harder to know when you O'd but having it at our age is awesome! Mine is much better since I started the traditional chinese medicine.

Jen, how are you, I stalked your chart but it is not updated yet today.

Laurie, I hope AF is being gentle with you this month.

Hi Juneau, and anyone else I've missed.

I am just spotting now. It's CD 8 and I am curious when I am going to O. Usually it is CD 13 but last cycle it was CD 12. Interestingly CD 12 appears to be my lucky number. I have charted 13 cycles altogether now and I have only O'd on CD 12 twice. And both times I got PG, once with DD and once this last cycle. Isn't that strange?
I imagine it will be a little later this cycle. And I am bored, since I can't obsess about getting the DTD timing right. Usually we start on CD 8 and go every other day. DH is going away Sunday night for 3 nights (will be CD 12, 13 and 14) so if I O a few days later than usual he might be home in time.
My heart is still not telling me whether I should TTC this month or not.
 
#800 ·
Hi everyone! Wow, there's been a lot of activity here since I last posted.

Pookie/Jen: Sorry about the BFN. Your chart still looks good, so fingers crossed that it was just too early to test.
:

Veganmama: Glad that your bleeding has tapered down to just spotting. Really hoping that your cycle goes back to normal as soon as possible. I'm sure acupuncture and herbs will help with that.

Ms. GB: Here's hoping that your big ripe follicle released that one good egg we're all hoping for! I reckon if you ovulated on Monday, that the timing of insemination was good. I know I read somewhere that most pregnancies occur due to BD 2 days before ovulation. (How do "they" figure this stuff out?)

Juneau: How cool that you know exactly when you ovulate! Your DH is a real trooper. I hope that his swimmers were extra fast this month!

Sunrise: Good luck with the upcoming insemination. I love that the women on this thread are so knowledgeable about all things concerning TTC. Fantastic that all your reproductive organs are looking good on the ultrasound.

Laurie: Good luck with your new cycle. I'll probably be right behind you. Expecting AF tomorrow or Friday.

Spider: Thanks for inspiration!

Speedknitter: Wishing you a continued happy and healthy pregnancy. Hope you had fun at 'Stiches." I'm a beginning knitter. It helped me quite smoking.

Hope I didn't miss anyone! As for me, my temperature has been lowish for the last few days and I've been PMS-y, so I'm just waiting for AF. I think I'm starting to mellow out a little about TTC. I'm doing what I can, but so much of it is out of my hands, so I just have to accept that. I'm re-reading HH Dalai Lama's "The Art of Happiness." It helps.
 
#801 ·
Hi Girls,

I'm back in town today, and contacted my donor to see if he'd agree to another donation (which he did). So, with fertile looking CM, I "DTD" again tonight. I'm determined....but am wondering when the heck I'm going to O. I may do an OPK tomorrow to see what it shows, just for kicks.

I'll check in again soon.
Ms GB
 
#802 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stealthee View Post
Juneau: How cool that you know exactly when you ovulate! Your DH is a real trooper. I hope that his swimmers were extra fast this month!
Yeah, a little advance warning would be even better... Without CM I was relying on OPK's. Without OPK's I don't know what I'm gonna do...

Welcome back MsGB. Hope one of these swimmers finds it's mark!

Gotta run it's bedtime.
 
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