TTC #1 in Our 30's: January 2008 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 221 Old 01-09-2008, 02:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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*wiggles* Oooh, exciting Kat!!!

That's interesting about Cushings, mischievium - I hope they pin down something for certain!

Jencat - I'll definitely enjoy a LOVELY glass of wine - and no, I don't use a fertility monitor - I used to use OPK's, but I hit a REALLY bad month, and stopped peeing on stuff in general.... It's - more restful for me.

Glad to hear you got a earlier appt, Rivka...

Speaking of appointments, what should I ask for when I go in? I know I want a full hormonal panel, I want my thyroid tested - what else should I ask for?

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#62 of 221 Old 01-09-2008, 11:47 PM
 
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Ok, doc today,was only about a 4.5 of the goober scale.

Got my test numbers

TSH 7
LH 32!
FH 9
beta of course neg.

They are sending me for another TSH test tomorrow this one fasting and they said (a few more to look for PCOS, he refused to elaborate) in general the doc seem to take offense to me knowing what i was talking about

he also wanted another U/S, this being less than 24 hours after my other doctor canceled the one i waited a month for????? So i got a appointment for another one in two weeks. i still have the CT on friday

he also wanted to put me in BCP for a month or so i asked not to be (have had icky reactions to BC in the past, and he then gave me 10 day Provera for the Withdrawal thingy.

But the question that pops into my mind now that i come home and look at my numbers is OMG am I O'ing with a LH surge!!!!!?????? crap i wish i was temping, yes i will start tomorrow, yes i know i suck. Just took a opk (possible just expired answer brand) and i would say both lines are the same darkness, this is now 48 hrs after that blood test was done. they are the darkest i have ever seen from me.
Is this high LH is a problem rather than a surge, then it is a new thing, because i have not had any false positive opk tests ever and have taken many of them in oct and nov.


the next question is that we have been dtd a lot recently(on the 3rd, 4th, 6th) could i be fertile? even though have no cm to speak of, but rarely ever do. So wtf? and do i risk this CT scan on friday or risk taking the Provera if there is any chance in hell i could be really early in a TWW?

i assume and was wondering if i should ask for a retest tomorrow of the LH too since if it was lower than monday that would support a surge theory and if it was similar it would suport ther being a problem to look for. your thoughts?

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#63 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 02:20 AM
 
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Hi Ladies. Whelp, almost midnight and can't sleep so I figured I would pop on here briefly and type softly so as not to wake up DH! First I want to welcome the newcomers! May your stay be short and sweet and welcome back the new oldcomers Frog and Mischevium. Good to have you back and I again, hope your stay is short and sweet. Mischevium, thank you so much for the thoughtful message and prayers. It really means a lot to get support wherever I can. Being in the grief stage is very hard but still not knowing anything adds all the more to the brain jumble. I actually contacted a counselor yesterday and am going to start seeing him. I think it will help me deal with the loss as well as what is to come.

OH.. I probably forgot to tell you all this in the midst of my crappy holiday. You know how DH had a ticket to surprise his grandpa in Seattle Christmas Eve (he had brain cancer). Well, after we found out about my sister the 20th he decided to stay with me even though I encouraged him to go. He cancelled his ticket and the morning of the 21st when we were in the funeral home discussing my sister's service arrangements he got a call from his mother in Seattle that his grandfather had just passed. He was very bummed he didn't get to see him but I told him how proud he was that he stayed to support me and that they were playing Tripoly in Heaven together! Please say an extra prayer for him too. He has been a trooper and super supportive through this whole thing. I think him losing his first family member, his first grandparent (yep he had all 4 until then) was a little lost in the shadow of my sister.

Rivka, you have been busy. I hope all the testing turns out good for you! Have you ever had an HSG (if you mentioned it previously, please forgive my lax brain)

EarthyMama, ask for "the works"... Prolactin, LH, TSH, Tyroid, Clotting... I can't remember what all mine were but at the end it was the HSG which determined what I am assuming is the problem. GOOD LUCK!

SunnyKat, GOOD LUCK with a triphasic chart! I hope you don't have to wait tooooo long. My + didn't show up until I was about 2-3 weeks late.

Mischevium, DH's Mom's side of the family lives in Seattle. I love it there.. people think I am crazy because of the dreary weather but hey.. that over humidity and heat any day! When will you have a + diagnosis (which I do realize may or may not be what they are testing for). I do hope it is something treatable. Did you ever have an HSG? Am I on an HSG kick? Who knows.. my brain is Fried. I kept thinking today is Tuesday. Good Luck and please keep us posted... positive thoughts for an easy "fix"

Poet, HUGS for the cycling Clomid effects! I think your reaction, Clomid or no Clomid, is what all of us who experience fetility problems feel. People have no right to talk about your personal problems and use it as an excuse to "get on the ball". I think we all love babies... we just don't always love the people who create them (whoops did I say/type that.... YEP I DID!)

Jencat, I have my fingers crossed for you dear! We would be honored to have you as our first Jan. 08 graduate! Keep positive vibes coming your way!

Whelp, still debating about when to do the surgery.... I ended up using almost all my vacation with everything going on and I need to be off a week so who knows. Body still not in any condition to heal or carry..... TMI sorry - 1 solid poo in 17 days (NOT GOOD!) and still not eating well.. 1 small meal (if you can call it that) about every 2 or 3 days and still smoking like a chimney (I am so disappointed in myself... I quit when we first started TTC in April 2006). I WILL quit again! Haven't been to the gym since all this either. With time I keep telling myself. Please keep your prayers coming, they help keep me strong! I am going to lay down and stare at the ceiling now... g'nite!

GOOD LUCK LADIES... I think of you ALL, all the time!!!

LAURA mama to Emory (10/12/09) wife to DH missing & older sis 10/13/69-12/19/07 w/1 : & 3 :
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#64 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 10:18 AM
 
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One insem down, one to go!
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#65 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 01:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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*hug* Laura - I've been meditating on justice lately, and I've been including your sister in my thoughts.....

*YAY* frog!!! Here's hoping you catch!!

Rivka - you could be!!! Babydance away, girly!!

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#66 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 03:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Wanting2BaMom View Post
Well, after we found out about my sister the 20th he decided to stay with me even though I encouraged him to go. He cancelled his ticket and the morning of the 21st when we were in the funeral home discussing my sister's service arrangements he got a call from his mother in Seattle that his grandfather had just passed.
oh dear, when it rains it pours, so glad you at least have each other to get though this time.
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Rivka, you have been busy. I hope all the testing turns out good for you! Have you ever had an HSG (if you mentioned it previously, please forgive my lax brain)
No i have not, up until this one very veyr messed up cycle i have been like clockwork, nad have had a few conceptions in my far past at wrong times. So i know at least back then my plumbing was open.

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Rivka - you could be!!! Babydance away, girly!!
TMI- but after i took that opk, DH threw me down on the floor of the home office!:
I am going to opk test again for a few day to look at if it changes and I'm also getting my blood test to day (fasting TSH and "others") and will ask them to include another LH to see the comparison, i think that will say a lot. if it was a surge, i would have caught it great, and the last two times we used pre-seed witch is a really good thing in my case.

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#67 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 04:59 PM
 
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Hi ladies!

Just wanted to let you know I'm still lurking here, and reading, and thinking of you.

And sending a big hug to everyone.

My news is, that the specialist Dr. last night said I'm graduated to a regular Dr.! The baby is great!

We saw the FiberBaby jumping and wiggling, little arms and legs, and feet. A strong heartbeat and a pulsing cord.

It was the coolest thing ever, and I'm thinking for the first time that I might actually get a take-home baby!

Hugs to all.

Babybel 8/5/08. Growing her sister: ***4***8***12***16***20***24***28***32***36**40*
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#68 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 05:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by FiberLover View Post
We saw the FiberBaby jumping and wiggling, little arms and legs, and feet. A strong heartbeat and a pulsing cord.

It was the coolest thing ever, and I'm thinking for the first time that I might actually get a take-home baby!

oh that is so great to hear! I thinkthis list needs some suscesful prego to come say hi every now and then, I for one get my heart lifeted by it!



oh gals, here is my two opk test from last night and this morning, wow i have never gotten then this strong, this morning jumped off the chart the second the pee went across it! I do not think i should take that ct scan tomorrow, do you? or am i just making myself crazy?
http://gallery.mac.com/dorkazoid

ETA:
ok here is my plan, opk for a few more days, see if it changes and this possible surge goes away, if it does i am just maybe in a TWW or at least my body seems to be resetting myself to have more normal cycles soon. So i would put off my CT indefinitely (would think about it again if a tww went over 3 weeks with no preggo signs, and then only after a beta test to make sure)
on the other hand and my opk stay strong pos for the next week or so i will go ahead with the treatments and test that we were going to to. (ct, provera, u/s)

does this sound good to you ladies?

ok i am going to shut up now and be happy regardless!!!!

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#69 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 09:14 PM
 
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Michele, YEAHHHH! I feel like I want to give you a few more veggies for the Fiberbaby!

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#70 of 221 Old 01-10-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Whoops I hit send instead of the veggies. Tired!
Here goes: For the Fiberbaby! ::
And a few more of these for good measure...

Frog~Swim team swim! Fingers crossed for a lucky fertilization! Cheers to ya.

Rivka~Well, ??? First, it's great it looks like you're possibly Oing after all this time. Maybe your body didn't want to O w/out Dh around? I don't know what to say about the CT? I think your plan right now sounds logical. It is so hard when things aren't quite the optimal way of working out and you have to come up with these strange Plan Bs, isn't it? Here you waited so long for this and now, the big ? GL with whatever you decide. We're rooting for this cycle to get along and barrel forward!

Mischievium~How I've longed for your deliciously long posts . Wishing you love and support and a fabulous new home and easy answers and a non-Cushings dx and hugs. I wonder though...I don't recall you having issues w/ amenorrhea/anov. cycles. Is that accurate?

Kat~This sounds really good! I hope you are stickily pregnant! Best wishes.

Jencat~Hi bud! How are you doing? Thinking of you! Keeping busy? I may take up jigsaw puzzles or brush up on my algebra or something...

Laura~It's good to hear from you. I think of you so much these days. I can't imagine how hard it must be to return to the business of life. How inconsequential it must seem...Prayers for your sister continue. Thank you for adding her picture in your sig. She's lovely. I'm so sorry there still is no progress on who could possibly have done such a thing. I truly hope your family gets the resolution and justice of an answer. And, my stars, prayers to your DH too. What a tough tough time for you two. Keep each other close and however you need to grieve and manage your life right now is fine. No judgments. Just remember to take good care of each other and go day by day. I hope eventually from this tragic year's end springs a healthy surgery and new life into your life.
:

My temps are high, probably largely from the Clomid and progesterone! I do feel better now that my progesterone is up in the 2ww. I think it's really dramatically hard when the est. goes down and the prog. is not up yet. Charting sure makes you look at your moods like clockwork and when they're as inflated as they've been on these meds, it's a pretty clear pattern. I'm not very hopeful. Just taking it day by day, I'm a bit worn from gearing up for disappointment. I think somewhere in the last few days, I've surrendered to the possibility that this has a timetable independent of mine and somehow, my life needs to proceed. I even had a cup of coffee a few times this week which I had quit before TTC. (I know, big scandalous shocker!). I had been just crying and crying in my meditations and just letting that happen and yesterday, I got the very strong intuition that that was enough of that and I needed to send love back into my body. What a gift.
Please send good thoughts toward my sister in Boston. She's 37, also dealing w/ infertility and just finished a difficlut round of injectables followed by 2 IUIs. She's also had a hard road and I'd love to see her preg.

Now who's got a long post!

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#71 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 01:59 AM
 
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well, after getting a high 32 on a LH blood test done monday afternoon, i got a barley positive opk on wed early evening, a huge BFP OPK thurs morning and now a neg on thurs night. I also got them to retake the blood lh test this afternoon so that should confirm that i had a very strong surge that lasted a few days. It is really amazing and just a luck of appointment timing that we even caught it to know it very happened. the fact that i have had nothing but negative or borderline opk in the past months ( i fact i do not think the docs knew) and that it has gone neg again, seems to me to rule out a chronic high LH that would be indicative of a problem.
I also noticed yesterday that my cervix shot higher than i have felt it in months, I'm surprised it is not triggering my gag reflex! CM is still not here, it never really is. In the end that may be my only hang up. I do have PreSeed and have been using it this whole week.
I have rescheduled my CT for 3 weeks out and hope to never need it.
I got a barrage of fasting blood tests today, along with my retest of the FSH/LH i got TSH, T4, testosterone, progesterone, insulin resistance something, and a few more that i could not figure out from the jumble of letters and will know more tomorrow or next week. this is the first time in my life i am agreeable to such test happy doctors!
Yes I am now temping, vaginally since it seems to work better for me, better late than never and who knows if it will tell anything this cycle, but i am doing it now at least.

Today is also the first day DH ever said unprompted, "i hope you get pregnant in the next few months" that was really big for me, i have worried that he has only agreed to make me happy, so for him to say it with a hear t to heart talk we were having meant the world to me.

now for the lemons...


the heart to heart talk we were having was us dealing with the news he just got from his new Army unit, he is deploying in May.

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#72 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 03:47 AM
 
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frog - it's nice to meet you.

mischievium - it's nice to meet you. it is very encouraging to hear that cushings syndrome is very treatable, and i wish you luck with that.

laura - i'm so sorry. . my heart goes out to you. it feels awkward couching this sentiment between other greetings and comments, but i want to send you love and send you healing.

Happy mama to a toddler & baby, dd happytears.gif born 10/18/08, and ds  baby.gifborn 10/3/10.
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#73 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 10:08 AM
 
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Gooooooooooooo, FiberBaby!

Our IUI is complete! Please move me to waiting to know.

The upside: I believe we totally nailed the timing.

The downside: vasovagal response, which sucked beyond belief.

The funny side: This morning's first song on my iPod: REM's Night Swimming.
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#74 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 11:41 AM
 
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I hope you'll all forgive me for not doing individuals and just sending a *hug* to everyone.

I'm still very down at the moment. When I first started this stage of TTC 3 months ago I felt very positive that I was doing something more than just allowing nature to take it's course. The first cycle felt very good to me DH was totally on board. Cycle 2 our timing sucked....our bd life has never been that active in fact there have been months since TTC when there has been no chance of me getting pregnant due to no BDing having taken place. My DH just has a low sex drive and I am not that confident instigating things as he rejected me so many times early on in our relationship, I have been working on myself in that regard but it's hard for me.

My main purpose for starting to use a fertility monitor and starting to temp was so that I could give my doc some info on what goes on with my body as I really think that I need to go see him armed with as much info as possible, of course I am also harbouring the hope that within these months we will get a bfp and I wont need to go see him except to confirm that I am pregnant. Now as my 32nd birthday approaches I'm wondering if I'm doing the right thing, we're 3 months off of 2 years TTC. Thats the deadline I'd set myself before I would get professional advice my qustion ladies is am I fooling myself? Should I go see the doc now and get things started? or should I wait for my personal deadline and go armed with 6 months worth of data?

Sorry this is so long any advice or thoughts would be very welcome....
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#75 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Personally, Jem, I would go now - esp. if DH hasn't done an S/A yet. I'm going to the doc on Monday, and I'm going to be fibbing about exactly how long we've been trying (it's only 2 months off of a full year) because I want to get the blood tests and the referrals (if needed) rolling. You can always go BACK with the six months worth of data - but if something comes up on the tests that you can address now - tis better to know now, than 3 months from now, ya know?

: Michelle!!! I'm so happy you've got a sticky babe!!!!

Frog - we don't have a waiting to know section - should we start one? You've been hanging out in the One Thread!! : for the insem to stick!

Oh, I'm so sorry rivka! Another friend of mine is TTC'ing, and her hubby is supposed to deploy in May too... *sigh* But YAY! for the amazingly serendipitous testing day - here's hoping you caught that egg!

Only on day 3 of my cycle - but this cycle again, I'm noticing something - different. No cramps. Utterly, none. I get a VERY mild low backache sometimes if I'm drinking a particularily strong cup of RRL - but otherwise, nothing. And I'm passing some HONKERS of clots (TMI, I know) so it's kind of suprising and unsettling, all at once. I used to get monster cramps the day before and the first day of my period - now, I spot for a day or two instead. I haven't really changed anything - esp. not last period.... except the RRL, actually - I started that two (three?) months ago - could it really make that much of a difference?

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#76 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 03:54 PM
 
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Hi jem1976,

I don't know about other monitors, but this pink, although very festive, is pretty hard on the eyes and I find myself only skimming posts that are written using it. Thought you might want the feed back.

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#77 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 03:57 PM
 
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Frog - we don't have a waiting to know section - should we start one? You've been hanging out in the One Thread!! : for the insem to stick!

Oh, duh! No, we don't need to start one. I'm in the One Thread and the Queer TTC thread and just pasted the update in. My bad!

Thanks for the good wishes, everyone.
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#78 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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sunnykat - so... what's going on? how do you feel?

Laura - thanks for checking in with us. I know we are all praying for you. I'm so sorry this is such a tough time for you. I hope your appetite returns soon. I'm making you some virtual chicken noodle soup, sweetie, and sending you a big hug.

Michelle! I'm so happy for you and fiberbaby!! I agree with rivka that your visit lifted my heart! When and if you are so inclined, we love to hear updates!! Are you showing? Are you buying maternity clothes???

Poet - hey clomid buddy! I'm glad to hear that you sent some love into your body in your meditations. We all need to send ourselves more love, don't we!? So is that baby shower this weekend? Be strong, girl! But give yourself a break too. Manage the situation for success... I know you'll do fine. Are you still feeling emotional or has it worn off a little? (Don't worry about the coffee! I had a martini last weekend...)

rivka - so sorry to hear DH will be deployed in May. Woman, I don't know what to say about your tests and what in the world your body is doing... I have to say I feel terrible for what you're going through. It must be very frustrating!! Hopefully, the dr's will be able to help you. Have you had a full physical lately?

frog - Go swimmers! Glad to hear your timing was on. Sad to hear about your response. I had a vasovagal response once after getting an allergy shot. It was freaky!

jem - I'm sorry you're still feeling down, honey. I believe you said you've been talking to a therapist about things. Maybe you need medication? I'm obviously not trying to imply anything b/c I don't know the whole situation... but I feel for you and want something to bring you back to happiness... With regards to ttc, I think it would be fine for you to go to the dr now - maybe it would put your mind at ease not having to wait another 3 months. There could be a very simple, treatable problem that has been in the way of you getting PG. It will take a while to get all the tests, etc. so might as well get started now. Hang in there, honey. I'm sending some sunny vibes your way.

Kiya - good luck on Monday!! My recommendation is to make a list and make sure you get to ask all your questions. Don't let the dr hurry you out like they can. My first visit with a ob/gyn about ttc was disappointing and I wish I had been more insistent that he spend more time with us.

Holy cow - I'm going on and on. I have the day off so I'm just lounging around... Worked out this morning and then I'll do some good old fashioned mall shopping this afternoon. I have been wanting some clothes. And I need to find a bday present for my mom.

I'm feeling fine. 11 DPO. Doing the usual oscillating between hoping I'm PG and trying to make myself assume I'm not PG so I don't get disappointed. I figure AF should come Tuesday. Maybe Wednesday. If nothing by Thursday I'll probably start to get excited - for better or worse. No symptoms of any kind - I feel the same as I ALWAYS do... so I guess that's not a great sign. Gonna try not to think about it this weekend. DH and I will keep busy cleaning the house. Then tomorrow we're taking our friends kids (3,8,10) to see Water Horse (it's their xmas present). That will be fun!!! And we'll watch the Charger's game Sunday. And probably have dinner with some friends. And I have a few books. Hopefully, these things will keep me busy and keep my mind off my uterus!!

Well, if you got this far... have a great weekend! :
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#79 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 08:50 PM
 
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Rivka - sorry posting in pink is a habit I've gotten into it's kinda my trademark, does anyone else feel the same about it? If so I'll stop....

Earthmama - thanks for the feedback, sorry that AF is not treating you well, I've noticed that since I started to take more notice the slightest change in my cycle sends me into a spin. I think all of us here tend to pay more attention to whats going in our bodies but if you are concerned go and see someone just to put your mind at rest.

Frog - got my fingers crossed for ya hun.

Jencat - thanks for the sunny wishes hun. my problem with medication is that I had a severe allergic reaction to the anti-depressants that the doc gave me and even though he gave me a script for different ones I never went and got them cos I was too scared, maybe I need to just bite the bullet and do it but I kinda like getting through it on my own it gives me a sense of achievement ya know?
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#80 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 11:01 PM
 
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Rivka - sorry posting in pink is a habit I've gotten into it's kinda my trademark, does anyone else feel the same about it? If so I'll stop....
As i concept and style i love it, maybe just one of these slightly darker colors for eye ease

either way, do what makes you feel good, that is what the forum is for.

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#81 of 221 Old 01-11-2008, 11:19 PM
 
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had a tough night last night. a friend of mine recently started inviting her mom's group, and some of her non-mom's group friends like me, over two fridays a month for a craft night. i went twice because i love having an excuse to work on my craft projects, but all the talk of my kids this, my baby that, becomes tedious after awhile, not only because i'm having a hard time having a kid, but because it actually makes me not want to be a mom! i mean, they get together so they can be away from their parenting duties, right? talk about something else! (i'm sure i'll do the same thing, but you know...)

the other times i went it was more bearable because i was with another childless friend & we'd light-heartedly joke about the latest thing we heard about child rearing: crate training! it's all the rage. (most people thought it was funny... at first). last time, little over a month ago, on the way home we were talking about parenting and i said oh, mr alx and i will have a kid sometime, maybe a half a year down the road. and she (newly married) said, yeah, we're not going to start trying for at least nine months or so.

she called yesterday to ask if i'd like to go to craft night, and though i wasn't looking forward to the moms, i said sure, 'cause i hadn't seen her for a while. and then the next sentence she drops the bomb: she's two months pregnant.

i think my response wasn't what she expected, and i felt bad not being more excited about it. i mean, it just took me a little while to process, and i ran out of things to say. i said congrats and everything, but i think my lack of enthusiasm showed. i feel a little bad about it, and i'm toying with the idea of telling her that we're trying, but so far, i've told only a few of our closer circle. i don't want everyone to know.

which makes me wonder:

1. how many of your friends/family knows that you're trying? (i haven't told my family, except my sister. i try to deflect their questions. my younger brother just got married, and my dad chidingly said, "he's going to beat you to having kids!" because they're trying right away. and i keep saying that we're not quite ready yet, which i guess on a metaphysical level is true.)

2. how do you deal with your friends getting pregnant? i read about one of you (sorry, i forget who) going to a shower and having a hard time about it. gosh, i just think that would be so hard.

anyway, i'm trying to think of what i can say to get out of craft night. i just don't think i can be there for the big announcement to the moms. i can't talk about pregnancy now in a roomful of fertile women.

***

other comments:

earthymama, what's rrl?

frog, i hadn't heard of a vasovagal response so i looked it up? it indicated a type of fainting. is that what happened to you?

i love that you all call bad/insensitive doctors goobers.

Happy mama to a toddler & baby, dd happytears.gif born 10/18/08, and ds  baby.gifborn 10/3/10.
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#82 of 221 Old 01-12-2008, 12:14 AM
 
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i really understand your point of view and think it is pretty normal. with in my two best girlfriends i have two similar issues a different one for each. one is single a bit older than me and worried sick that she will never find the family and child that she dreams about, i have to check myself all the time and not over load here with baby making plans (i personally am pretty open about that we are going for it) I know she wants to share my life and support my dreams, but too much of it must be hard so i restrain myself.
My other bff is already a mother or a 2yr ds and we are hoping to get preggo together. I am in complete fear that one will get pregnant way before the other and it will suck, specially if she goes first, i think she would deal way better if i went first since she knows it is just a matter of time fore her (took 2 cycles the first time) she is much more patience and into hearing my excitement over every little step, but is also swamped with a high energy child so her excitement is tempered.

so the lesson i pull out of this for you?

Find and cherish what you do have in common with your friends, even if it is not everything.
You might share with your recently preggo friend not that you are trying (if you still want that to be private) but maybe just that you are both happy and internally conflicted about her news. i think it is ok to share that you had felt kinda on the same team with her and now kinda feel alone. this does not give your secret up and lets her know that you support her and explains your hesitation that I'm sure she heard in your voice.

good luck and hugs to you

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#83 of 221 Old 01-12-2008, 11:43 AM
 
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frog, i hadn't heard of a vasovagal response so i looked it up? it indicated a type of fainting. is that what happened to you?
I did pretty much everything BUT faint: BP dropped, I got very cold, had tremors, had bad stomach cramps, had diarrhea and puked. It was lovely, but blessedly brief (an hour or two).
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#84 of 221 Old 01-12-2008, 11:36 PM
 
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Frog, what about the insem causes you to have that reaction?

Ms Sig, rrl usually stands for Red Raspberry Leaf usually a Tea, Tincture or capsule. Ladies take it to tone the uterus and in very strongly brewed teas can help strengthen uterine contractions during labor.

Well, hmm the end of the week has me pondering a lot. My wed. LH blood test was 26 down from 32 on monday, everything was lower and the TSH was back in more normal level. this second test was a fasting one so is more trustworthy. I'll find out more details in my next Dr. call

i have has a string of + home opks with some negative ones in between, like my body is surging over and over maybe? working hard to get something done?
My cervix is super high and i finally felt what soft really means, not sure if i ever noticed it like that (i would not have unless i was really determined, since it is sooo high) Still of course no CM to speak of. But as i have mentioned before i have had years of struggle with that. I have had ewcm in the past, so i do know i can have it. So i really don't know what is going on, but somehow feel better and like my body is doing the best she can and that is all i can ask of her.

Question for you all, does your cervix drop down low right after you O? Does it ever go up any other time when you are not O'ing?

I am temping again now and feel like doing it vaginally like i am now will get me a smoother chart. We'll see after a few weeks. I also decided to use some Guaifenesin (aka Robitussin). I am making my Dh laugh his head off, since i can't seem to ever pronounce or remember the name of the drug, so i keep calling it my goopy pills. And if i ever get back in to what is for sure a first half of a cycle i will start back up with EPO but for now have switched over to FSO+fish oils for my daily does of omega yumminess rather than risk anything.

I guess in the end i just finish the week out calm, at least about reproduction. My head is till swimming and floundering for a life raft within the storm of deployment news.

Best this that happened to me this week? DH saying how he would really like to deploy knowing he had started a child with me first. I know it might sound weird, but it was music to my ears and heart.

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#85 of 221 Old 01-13-2008, 01:00 AM
 
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Hi All, I've been busy but I have a lot to say to some of the ques. asked lately, so let's see if I can get a long post in!

First of all, I was stalking some charts and I noticed that one of our members Starlightsound is in a June DDC, so I gues we can graduate her. This is great news. She had a heartbreaking story of giving birth and losing her first baby days after. So a belated YAHOO! to Starlightsound.

Rivka~I am very sorry about the lemons. Lemons by themselves are just sour and your news is too. It is lovely that you are surging so much right now after all that waiting. Just keep BDing! I had asked the cervix questions months ago on a thread and was told it drops quite quickly after O, so if it is still high, I'd say you haven't O'd quite yet. In terms of the lemons, well we'll have to make them into lemonade. You have the Spring to TTC and you seem to be normalizing after the cyst experience, would be so much worse to be having that issue right now w/ DH home. In the event that it doesn't haappen before he deports, I do know women who've frozen their DH's swimmers and have still insem. while their partners were away, and many did get preg. So DAY BY DAY, of course, but if that situation presents itself, you could decide at that point to continue trying after May. A back of the mind thing. Overall though, I'm just real sorry to hear this news.

Frog~ I read your post and wondered what a vasovagal response was--it didn't sound good. Now that I know I have even more compassion for you! That sounds very painful. I do hope you are feeling better now. GL Froggie Swimmers!

Ms Sig~Hugs. First and foremost, Hugs. This is a hard situation and I can say I've really been there and it's a toughie. TTC when lots of women are preg. IRL is hard. It doesn't matter how balanced and compassionate a person you are, it is hard. On the 12+months thread, we are talking about this right now and everyone agrees. I have told a lot of people we are trying. Part of that was total naivete--I literally thought infertility was something that you knew you had from OB exams. I always heard of women who knew from the time they started menstruating that they couldn't have kids. I had NO idea it would not just happen. So, when you are struggling to conceive or it's just taking a while, it requires your whole idea of having kids to shift bigtime--I haven't had the rug pulled out from under me quite so much since say, Santa Claus. It's tough. Because everyone in my life knows we've been trying, I've had to set limits with people and be very assertive. When people try to give me stupid advice about how to get preg, I say things like "Thank you for your concerns, but I have an excellent doctor and am very educated about my own situation." When people ask me when we're going to have kids, I say, "When we get pregnant, we will have kids." When people say BS things like "Everything happens for a reason," I say, "Thank you. I know some people take comfort in that philosophy, but I do not feel that way. I've leanred a lot from my struggles with fertility, but I certainly don't think this has happened specifically to me for a speacial reason." When people say insensitive uninformed things about IF, I have said, "I don't expect you to know the right thing to say. It's a hard issue and I know now that I wouldn't have know what to say previous to being in this situation. What is most supportive to me is a quiet support." I can't say I regret telling so many people. I think this far into the game, I would feel silently resentful if I was keeping all this in, but that's me. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If you are going to see this friend a lot, you may want to find the right gentle but assertive statement to say because otherwise she will (like your crafting mama friends) talk a lot about her preg. and that could put a lot of quiet distance between you and she. I hope some of this is helpful. When TTC takes a while (esp your 1st after waiting into your 30's!), it's not un-generous to feel the need to protect yourself a little. HTH

Jem~FYI-The pink doesn't bother me at all. I am sorry for your struggles here. I agree with PPers that seeing a doc sooner is better. TTC takes a lot out of you and if you are (as I am too) predisposed to emotional issues, it's all the more sensitive a place to be. Being proactive and finding answers was very helpful to me psychologically. Everyone's intimate relationships are so personal and different, but DH and I have had problems here too. It's not for everyone, but it helped when I told him when I was ovulating and when we should BD. We'd plan it out about 8 dpo, then he could instigate too, or at least when I did, he knew. It's not spontaneous but planning it out made us look forawrd to it and I didn't get anxious wondering if it would be able to happen when it needed to happen. I feel now like our sexual rel. has become more strong in the last few months. FYI, years ago I was put on Serzone and it was like pure evil. I almost gave up on anti-dep--I had resisted them so much--but I finally gave Lexapro a try. I still take 1/4 of a pill a day. It's probably a placebo by now, but it went so far beyond what I could do w/ analysis.

ME, well, I'm not expereincing the CLO-WOE anymore, but it's now more of a CLO-BLO as in Bloated. I am all puffed up and super gassy (sexy!), but that's better than the woe. 7dpo. Went for a prog. test today to see how the Clomid is working in my system. Will let you know tomorrow. I am tech. to supposed to be at that dreadful shower right now, but my throat is really sore so DH agreed to go late w/ me. Sure love my DH these days. And you gals too. Hugs All! Congrats if you got this far!

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#86 of 221 Old 01-13-2008, 09:55 AM
 
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Frog, what about the insem causes you to have that reaction?
First, I love what your husband said, Rivka. Totally cool.

The midwife had a hard time finding my cervix and it's her theory that she tripped the nerve in the process. It's also possible that the reaction had to do with PTSD (I have a complex PTSD diagnosis due to childhood abuse).

In other news, I got my crosshairs this morning.
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#87 of 221 Old 01-13-2008, 01:38 PM
 
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Rivka - I'm not sure on the cervical position... I do think it goes up before AF starts tho.

Frog - yay for crosshairs!!

Poet - how did the shower go?

I have one small reason to think AF will come soon. A zit on my neck...
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#88 of 221 Old 01-13-2008, 02:15 PM
 
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I don't think I'm pregnant. I'm taking both clomid and progesterone and my 7 dpo level was only 9.5. Acceptable but not exactly pregnant from what I hear. Who knows? With all that I thought it would higher than my usual 6.5.

The shower was bearable. I got through it. Another woman announced her pregnancy (first try...). I did the best I could, didn't cry, kept converstations focused on other people so they didn't start asking about me.
I'm kind of sick today, really bad sore throat.

Jencat, hmmm, a zit? My preg. friend is covered in zits. So, you never know. Fingers crossed for you.

Proud Mama to Liam Greenleaf 5/31/10
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#89 of 221 Old 01-14-2008, 01:53 AM
 
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Ahh, if only I was PG and zit-covered...

Poet - glad the shower was ok... kinda. I hope you get to feeling better too and your 6.5 doesn't mean anything...

I have my CD1 cramps - no blood yet but I bet it'll be here before morning. Got my panty-liner on. sigh.
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#90 of 221 Old 01-14-2008, 12:32 PM
 
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She's officially here... made me suffer too... couldn't sleep for a while b/c of my cramps. Had some gastrointestinal distress to go along with them. Good times...

This process is getting old.

Sometimes I can't help but think that my mega-doses of folic acid are causing me to not support implantation. Anyone know about this? My dr has me on the folic acid b/c my sister has spina bifida... I want to take precautions to make sure I have a healthy baby... but wonder if it's interfering?

Well, on to suffer through the day. I'm going to wallow in self-pity. Because of AF, my tummy troubles, and b/c of a lot of bad crap going down at work... might as well get the most out of my suffering...
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