TTC #1 in Our 30's: January 2008 - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! - Page 8 - Mothering Forums
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#211 of 221 Old 01-30-2008, 03:33 PM
 
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Hi everyone.
I have sortof joined this thread before but maybe not officially? Can I join officially? I wasn't sure which thread to mostly stay on but I am 34 and TTC #1 so this is my spot.

My situation- I may have already said it before but I want to be orderly and connect with others in the same situation.

I am on day 16 of a usually 34-35 day cycle.
I am on cycle #5 of TTC #1.
I still do not know when I ovulate.
I am reluctant to temp for a # of reasons.
This month I am using OPK's every day since AF ended and I also obsessively check my CM and Cervix position.

I still do not know when I O!
I do not have a ton of EWCM usually .
I currently have some moisture and no equally dark line on the opk yet.
We are sortof BDing every day now.
But in other cycles we BDed every day and nothing happened yet.
I have some past trauma I am healing from.
One Asian Doctor I see says it will be difficult for me to vconceive until spring and only then if I take super charge of my healt.
I saw him this week and I felt so down after that- like- do I just know it won';t happen yet?
I tried to say to me- ok, so use the next 3 months to totally get super healthy to prep for the babe, etc.
But in reality I have been waiting for YEARS to concieve- only been TTC for this is our 5th month.
But I am 34- almost 35.
So another friend I talked with this morning said she thinks a lot of it is energy and beliefs and holdings.
Like for me, I got some serious dental trauma and bad bad surgeries done to me in the past 2 yrs.
So now I am healthy but have some general problems that may never be perfect.
So I guess I was feeling like- well I am broken, how can I conceive and care for a child?
But then I tell myself- everyone, or most people, has something to contend with.
But we deserve to bring life and love forward.
I am feeling more in optimism as I approach Ovulation.
I will not go into this thinking- it probably won't happen again.
Instead I want to think- it is up to me to open and allow this to happen.
I am doing most of what I can.
I still am not perfect with some of my habits which I may wait until I am preg to stop.
But we'll see.

Babies everywhere I look though.
I even see all these friggin celebrities having babies all over the place.

can I just say to those of you who can relate:


Please, I want my baby!!!!!!!!!!!! I am ready. My dear man is ready.
It is a bit freaky to be TTC #1 at 34 almost 35 and have trouble.
I am ready to conceive!!
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#212 of 221 Old 01-30-2008, 06:02 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
Hi everyone.
I have sortof joined this thread before but maybe not officially? Can I join officially? I wasn't sure which thread to mostly stay on but I am 34 and TTC #1 so this is my spot.

My situation- I may have already said it before but I want to be orderly and connect with others in the same situation.

I am on day 16 of a usually 34-35 day cycle.
I am on cycle #5 of TTC #1.
I still do not know when I ovulate.
I am reluctant to temp for a # of reasons.
This month I am using OPK's every day since AF ended and I also obsessively check my CM and Cervix position.

I still do not know when I O!
I do not have a ton of EWCM usually .
I currently have some moisture and no equally dark line on the opk yet.
Hi Katie, it's hard to say for sure without temping, but if you normally have 34-35 day cycles and if your LP is average (about 14 days, but keep in mind that this is a big assumption), then that would mean that you are probably ovulating around CD20-21. Anyway, if I were you, I'd keep checking the OPKs everyday (and if you really want to go whole hog, you could check it 2X a day when your CM and CP are indicating that you are fertile). If you haven't already, PeeOnAStick.com has a lot of good info/ advice about OPKs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
We are sort of BDing every day now.
But in other cycles we BDed every day and nothing happened yet.
I have some past trauma I am healing from.
One Asian Doctor I see says it will be difficult for me to vconceive until spring and only then if I take super charge of my healt.
I saw him this week and I felt so down after that- like- do I just know it won';t happen yet?
I tried to say to me- ok, so use the next 3 months to totally get super healthy to prep for the babe, etc.
Just keep in mind that that's one doctor's opinion. It's always a good idea to work on improving your health, but I wouldn't take his word as the word of god... you might get pregnant before then, or it might be awhile after that (hopefully not). I'd work on my health, but keep trying in the meantime.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
But in reality I have been waiting for YEARS to concieve- only been TTC for this is our 5th month.
I *totally* hear you on this... my DH and I were together for 5+ year before we got married and he was ready to start TTC. That's a big factor in my impatience with TTC because while I've only been TTC for a year, I've been waiting for a baby for a lot longer than that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katie34 View Post
But I am 34- almost 35.
So another friend I talked with this morning said she thinks a lot of it is energy and beliefs and holdings.
Like for me, I got some serious dental trauma and bad bad surgeries done to me in the past 2 yrs.
So now I am healthy but have some general problems that may never be perfect.
So I guess I was feeling like- well I am broken, how can I conceive and care for a child?
But then I tell myself- everyone, or most people, has something to contend with.
But we deserve to bring life and love forward.
I am feeling more in optimism as I approach Ovulation.
I will not go into this thinking- it probably won't happen again.
Instead I want to think- it is up to me to open and allow this to happen.
I am doing most of what I can.
I still am not perfect with some of my habits which I may wait until I am preg to stop.
But we'll see.
Everyone has different thoughts/ feelings on this. As for me, I'm not particularly of the belief that thinking negatively (or having negative thoughts about one's body and fertility) is the reason why people who struggle with TTC don't conceive. Yes, extreme stress can cause your body not to ovulate (Toni Weschler talks about this a bit in TCOYF) and what amounts to extreme stress varies by person. To me, the value of "optimism" and finding ways to cope with emotional impact of past trauma is not because it is physically directly interfering with TTC, but because dealing with your negative feelings and working through your trauma make you more emotionally healthy and therefore more able to take care of yourself and prepare yourself to take care of someone else.

A concrete example would be, say it's a few days prior to O but I'm really tired and DH is really tired-- if I was feeling really down about TTC and feeling like it will never happen, I might think to myself, "Well, it's not going to happen anyway, so I might as well just get a little more sleep." Whereas, if I were feeling more positive, I might think,"Well, I'm really tired, but this could be our month, so I guess it's worth losing a little bit of sleep." But, as a lot of us have experienced, it's hard to just make yourself feel positive if that's not how you're feeling-- and that's where the acknowledging and coping with negative feelings/ trauma comes in.

And you're absolutely right, everyone has their issues to cope with and that doesn't mean that they are any more/ less able to conceive-- I used to work as an RN in neonatal intensive care and, let me tell you, having your life completely in order is NOT a prerequisite for getting pregnant .

Katie, it sounds like you have had a rough couple of years that have really shaken your confidence in yourself and your body. But, to look at things a different light, maybe everything you have been through leaves you more prepared to be a parent, not less? Maybe it gives you more life experience and strength to draw on that will help you be a better parent? Which is NOT to dismiss all the trauma you've been through as having "happened for a reason," but rather to say that you can't always control what happens to you, but along with the bad stuff and trauma, can come growth and strength. In finding the tools to deal with your hardships and pain, you learn tools that you can pass down to your children to help them deal with their own hardships and pain.

But, once again, it is not a prerequisite to getting pregnant. You can only do what you can do each day to take a small step forward towards TTC and towards taking care of yourself. For all that's happened to you, Katie, you are not broken .

That's what I think, anyway. Did that make any sense ?
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#213 of 221 Old 01-30-2008, 06:04 PM
 
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Apologies for the cross post, for those of you in all of these threads with me...

News from here: Our midwife has the audacity to be taking a weekend away when I'm going to ovulate. The NERVE! :

I think we're going to do two insems on our own, just like old times. Here's hoping we get knocked up, NOT just like old times!
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#214 of 221 Old 01-30-2008, 08:57 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frog View Post
Apologies for the cross post, for those of you in all of these threads with me...

News from here: Our midwife has the audacity to be taking a weekend away when I'm going to ovulate. The NERVE! :

I think we're going to do two insems on our own, just like old times. Here's hoping we get knocked up, NOT just like old times!
Wow, that midwife has some cheek, huh? Good luck with everything - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
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#215 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 03:03 AM
 
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Originally Posted by frog View Post
Apologies for the cross post, for those of you in all of these threads with me...

News from here: Our midwife has the audacity to be taking a weekend away when I'm going to ovulate. The NERVE! :

I think we're going to do two insems on our own, just like old times. Here's hoping we get knocked up, NOT just like old times!
Dude, is she aware that you are not just a frog, you are THE frog? Let me know if you need me to go set her straight on that.

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#216 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 10:32 AM
 
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Dude, is she aware that you are not just a frog, you are THE frog? Let me know if you need me to go set her straight on that.

Oh, she's around here. She knows.
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#217 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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Mischievium-

Thanks so much for reading and responding to my story!
Your words are really thoughtful and give me lovely feelings!

How long have you been TTC and how old are you?

I will look back over this thread to see if I can see some of your story.



QUESTION---
Do you think if the sperm are up there and we do it like maybe 2X a day for the next few days that it is possible the new sperm can knock out the unioned egg-sperm or dammage it?

This is the best EWCM I have had since we started TTC.
Love,
Katie
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#218 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 01:56 PM
 
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Hi everyone hope you're all well.

Katie- WOOT for ewcm, hope this is your month hun.

AF is just leaving me and I am now officially totally confused about my cycle but there ya go ....

I have an appointment next week with my GP and hopefully he should be able to get some things moving for me until then I'm gonna continue to temp and use my monitor but I'm going to TRY not to obsess....
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#219 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 02:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Katie!!

No, there is no chance of having sex 'knocking' the sperm and egg loose - have fun BD'ing, and hopefully you will catch that egg.

Has Evan had his sperm tested? I'm big for pushing people to do that ASAP - knock the potential issues out as soon as you can, esp. if you feel the pressure of time on you.

May I ask why you don't temp? As far as I understand, temping is one of the most reliable (besides ultrasound of the ovaries!) to actually CONFIRM ovulation - OPK's only tell you that it 'should' be happening, but not if it actually is.

Ahhh, it's the end of the month! It's been grand being threadkeeper - I've added so many new ladies, and even graduated a few!!! Rivka is going to be the threadkeeper for next month, and I know she'll do WONDERFULLY!!

So, I don't know. I spotted for 12 days, stopped for 3, spotted for 2 days, started flow again on *thinks* Monday, I think it was? FF is marking me as having a 19 day cycle (*laughcry*), I assume because I actually did stop bleeding. *sigh* So, here's - well, here's to another cycle! *laughcry*

DH is going to get his S/A done on Friday - : so, that'll be the last thing until we go back to talk to my doc in March.

Hah! I was just saying a few days ago to some other ladies that I really felt that 'last' cycle was a bust - Maybe that's why?

The mystery of life isn't a problem to solve, but a reality to experience.
| @jovialady is Kiya ~ TTC 3 years & counting for a ~ Connsumte BookDragon|
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#220 of 221 Old 01-31-2008, 11:18 PM
 
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Hi all,

I just saw something so beautiful that it made me cry! Please watch this beautiful woman singing during her labor. She's using hypnobabies and she has a gorgeous voice and I'm just so touched by this. I've watched this video several times already.

As for me, things are going well. DH and I have decided to wait until summer to go for it again and ttc. I'm just simply having a good time losing weight (lost 10.6 pounds so far!!! only 27lbs to go!) and I've been working in an office though my temp contract ended with them this week. The weather here has been better than it has been and we aren't freezing as much as we did before. : I hope that everybody is doing well and I want to congratulate all of this past month's BFPs and also welcome the newbies to the fold. I know that I'm not really around much anymore, but I have been lurking and keeping my eye on everybody here.

xoxo,

Kemi

Kemi wifedreads.gif to Jeffdh_malesling.GIF mommy to Rohan h20homebirth.gifROTFLMAO.gif 1/3/09 and Narenhomebirth.jpg(transfer to hospital) blahblah.gif  10/22/10. Pregnant with stork-girl.gif

****5****10****15****20****25****30****353rdtri.gif***40 (Hospital BC w/CNMs due to GD)

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#221 of 221 Old 02-01-2008, 02:09 PM
 
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New thread is up here The #1 in Our 30's February Thread, Spread The Love

come on over and spread the love!

partners.gif 2twins.gif  So what if I don't fit cleanly into a defined parenting style, my kids don't fit into a personality archetype either!

 
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