Zen's Den: House of Spelunk (v.II) - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 05:38 PM
 
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valeria - that chart is looking mighty fine.

the thing is that i stopped nursing just recently and my cycles are a mess (they've been like 2-4 months long). the last one, though, was 31 days. I "designated" my O date based on cm and ... ummm .... my desires to spelunk all day and night long. so I hope my "designation" is correct. but who knows, really. I'm afraid that it is all incorrect and I am loosing my mind for nothing.

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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#182 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 05:50 PM
 
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carrot_flowers, how is it where you are? we're just north of you (Chicago 'burb), so I'm wondering if it's pouring where you are as well.
it is sucky and rainy. wah wah wah. it's been like this since thursday! i really wanted to go bike riding this weekend, too! ah, well. it'll be nicer next week. i can't wait until fall gets here.

Christie, mama to Maggie Lee 2/25/10
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#183 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 05:56 PM
 
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Just dropping in for a hello while Ruby is napping. Thanks to all who read the story...sometimes it makes me feel better, like I'm not hiding anything, when I tell it. And plus, I think everyone should be more aware of her condition...Not many people have heard of it.

I am STILL SPOTTING today, but have EWCM. I have that awful "who cares???" attitude to go along with it. I quit it with the OPKs today and have just resigned to the fact that September is definitely not my month. We are going through some serious sleep/bf issues with Ruby, and I think it might be better for me to focus on that instead of TTC.

valeria, Like you've already decided...I wouldn't fret about the temps. They are so close. And they're just a ballpark figure. I temp everyday even though I rarely sleep for more than 1 hour at a time (look at my chart this month - rocky mountains galore!). Sometimes the temp is telling, most times it just confuses me. Well, so does this d*mn spotting...

Hope you all are having a great Saturday. Again, like always, this thread is keeping me sane while I am home all day by myself with no DH (yes, even on a Saturday...barf). Thanks for the love ladies!

Lauren, wife to Brian, mom to Ruby (05.10.07) and Sylvie (09.30.09) and baby #3 to arrive in March 2014!

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#184 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 06:03 PM
 
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zen - First of all, you're only as cuckoo as the rest of us. I took my temp like 3 times yesterday before it became clear that AF was on her way, and got all excited that it was above 99F, which is... yeah, cuckoo. But seriously for all that we go nutso and freakazoid over temping and maybe we're pregnant and IS THAT A LINE? CAN YOU SEE THE LINE? and stuff, just think how much our babies will be loved. If they, you know, ever bother to show up and wear these cute shoes I have knitted for them. Just sayin'.

Also, post-coital (yeah, not sexy, hehe) bleeding could be implantation bleeding. It could also be... um, just post-coital bleeding. Sometimes all the spelunking can irritate the cervix and make it bleed a wee bit, from my understanding it's harmless.

all - I like the idea of exchanging glances with Z when the kiddos ask about their provenance. When we first decided to get married we used to joke that we would have to say things like "No, Daddy's real name is not 'OHGODZACK'" and whatnot. ahahaha

got some spelunking in at like 2am before AF really set in. I love sleepy spelunking probably the most of any kind. Loooove. And now I must wait a few days just because I'm not that into it during AF, plus it induces cramps.

Bip bip! Back to working on my Etsy stuff, I am just so excited about it. :
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#185 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 06:06 PM
 
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pbcup - I meant to say, thanks for sharing the story about Ruby. I'd never heard of amniotic band syndrome, either, but it sounds like she's totally rockin' it anyway.

Focusing on something besides TTC can be good, if only because it's a distraction. It sounds like you're having a rough day. I hope things get better for you.
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#186 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 06:11 PM
 
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pbcup - I meant to say, thanks for sharing the story about Ruby. I'd never heard of amniotic band syndrome, either, but it sounds like she's totally rockin' it anyway.

Focusing on something besides TTC can be good, if only because it's a distraction. It sounds like you're having a rough day. I hope things get better for you.
Thanks binkin . I was trying to sound not-so-grouchy, but I guess I messed that one up. I am seriously lacking sleep, and it is making me a miserable person. I fear that cosleeping is not working for us anymore, even though we all love it. Ruby is just not getting any rest being that close to my boobs for 8 hours...And man, my boobs are taking a beating.

Lauren, wife to Brian, mom to Ruby (05.10.07) and Sylvie (09.30.09) and baby #3 to arrive in March 2014!

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#187 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 06:45 PM
 
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pbcup - oh, it's rough! Ester didn't start sleeping through the night until pretty much 3 years old. she was always waking up every 1-2 hours. for pretty much 3 years. I was loosing it completely. sleep deprivation is very very tough. and not having your dh to help is even tougher. I'm so sorry. the thing is, though, even if you sleep separately, it is not guaranteed that she will stop waking up at night. but if you think it might work, then it's probably worth a shot. you can always change it back and start co-sleeping again.
just sending you lots of hugs.

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#188 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 08:29 PM
 
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it is sucky and rainy. wah wah wah. it's been like this since thursday! i really wanted to go bike riding this weekend, too! ah, well. it'll be nicer next week. i can't wait until fall gets here.
It's sucky and rainy here, too. This should be like the perfect day: Indian food, books, tea, catching up on TV, spelunking, playing mindless Internet word games. And yet, I just want to whine about the weather. Perhaps I need a nap, or a time-out, or something.
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#189 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 09:36 PM
 
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hi all,

not much going on here..

dh and i went discount shopping today at this semi-ritzy secondhand store and spent like $200 on ds so that he will have clothes to wear this winter. what can i say? i'm a sucker for little striped sweaters from gap kids.

almost cried when we walked past the baby girl aisles.

still spelunking. still no cookie. thanks for the story about the awesome orgasm=dd. i'm too scared to have one. if i make another son, of course i will be happy too, but hell, i'm already outnumbered here. it wouldn't be so bad if i wasn't such a girly girl.

i'm starting a new painting tonight. sometimes i paint in dh's studio with him to keep him company.

off to paint.... and screw.
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#190 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 09:40 PM
 
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It's sucky and rainy here, too. This should be like the perfect day: Indian food, books, tea, catching up on TV, spelunking, playing mindless Internet word games. And yet, I just want to whine about the weather. Perhaps I need a nap, or a time-out, or something.
Yeah, I've got that whole ennui thing going on today too. We were going to go shopping a bit, but decided to do it tomorrow, and I'm feeling bleh about everything at this point. It's like it's a Sunday afternoon, and I've already taken all the baths I can usefully take... ooh. bath. Now there's an idea.

Une TOPIQUE pour DISCUSSION
(believe it or not I was at one point fluent in French. Sad to have forgotten it.)
Have you thought about birth plans yet? Z and I have agreed on a homebirth with a midwife and a rental tub. We live literally five minutes' walk from the hospital, should it be needed. But I was shocked when I brought the idea up, expecting some resistance, and he said "women have been having babies for thousands of years without hospitals, it's not like it's a disease or something."

I've already contacted a few midwives in the area, although obviously we haven't picked one yet or anything, but there are at least several who are willing to come to our house. Then again, if my due date ends up being in the summer... I might go for a birthing center instead since they'll have AC and I don't
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#191 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 09:43 PM
 
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MMM You're getting me all excited. My BF said last night, "don't get your hopes up." Yeah, buddy. Easier said than done. Although he is mr. pessimist just so he never has to be disappointed.

Binkin I don't feel weird about it at all. All of my spelunking sessions are pretty much down and dirty - pretty conservative about it, but I mean, we don't have lovey dovey emotional sex all that much. So I figure our kid will be born of pure pleasure.

RABITGRL The beach sounds nice. Your chart doesn't look bad, BTW. I figure my actual O date could be the day before or after FF says, so if it was the day before, you would have had sex 2 days before, and if it was the actual day or the day after, you had sex on CD20, too. Lots of people I talked to recently said they conceived the month they had sex ON their O day.

Carrot CONGRATS on the new position

Valeria I wouldn't worry about the temp, either. It's one degree, and it's so soon after O, your chart looks good.

Zen spotting does not equal AF. Either way, have fun kayaking!

So. AFM I had a nice day walking downtown and at the farmer's market with my BF and his mama. she's awesome. I tried out my concoction I've been thinking of to scent my homemade sugar scrubs - patchouli and vanilla. Smells delicious and BF likes it (although if I told him patchouli was in it I'm sure he would say he didn't...). And I had to come up with an excuse to go to the "natural" children's store where they have birthing classes and the like. Felt weird looking around in front of MIL - she doesn't know we're TTC. I was also grilling her at lunch because she had a baby with trisomy 18, and then I realized I shouldn't ask so many questions if I don't want her to know that we're trying!!

It was nice, anyway. And a good way to avoid peeing on more OPK's. I am so not going to make it till Wednesday to test. I am SO ANTSY! Argh.

gbutterflykissesm
I had a sister born with Trisomy 18 aka Edwards syndrome
Why were you grilling her?are you worried?Or just interested.?As far as I know(and I had genetic counseling) there is nothing to worry about.It is a fluke,one in XXamount of a chance of it happening.Although they told my mum that once she had my sister,there was a one in three chance of it happening again so they stopped having kids after my next sister and brother.She wishes that she had gone on and had more now though odds don't always happen!
Any questions,just ask
Info is always good.
Talking of which,Thank you PBC for sharing Ruby's story.I found it very interesting.What a precious girl you have there.Her smile is so endearing
Don't let it worry you

BTW I agree with you,get excited.I would be,h@ll I am for everyone.
yay,let's all PEE together now!!!

Alrighty,I am off to eat ice cream,although I am hoping for night time nausea again (yeah crazy,I know but it is a symptom that HAS to be PG right??? )It can't just be a 2am tummy bug????

Everyone else:

Happy spleunking Sunday

Natasha,Mum to many.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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#192 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 10:52 PM
 
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aaaaaah. i am so jealous of everyone and their saturday night spelunking exercises. DH is at work in memphis - he was supposed to be home today, but there were a ton of leaks (testing in chemical plants) - over 300, which is totally unheard of - so he and his coworker have to stay until probably wednesday to re-test all of the spots to make sure the company got rid of the leaks. <sigh>

so i am home all alone. i made chocolate chip cookies and ate a sh*t ton of dough. i feel like puking and, unfortunately, AF is here, so i can't even pretend it might be a pregnancy symptom, lol.

hope you ladies are having nice weekends. <3

Christie, mama to Maggie Lee 2/25/10
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#193 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 11:03 PM
 
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aaaaaah. i am so jealous of everyone and their saturday night spelunking exercises. DH is at work in memphis - he was supposed to be home today, but there were a ton of leaks (testing in chemical plants) - over 300, which is totally unheard of - so he and his coworker have to stay until probably wednesday to re-test all of the spots to make sure the company got rid of the leaks. <sigh>

so i am home all alone. i made chocolate chip cookies and ate a sh*t ton of dough. i feel like puking and, unfortunately, AF is here, so i can't even pretend it might be a pregnancy symptom, lol.

hope you ladies are having nice weekends. <3
Nah, I'm with you. No Saturday night fever for me, either... AF is usually quite heavy the first day or 2 and it's just not worth it, to me.

I feel like puking but I think it's because I scarfed an entire piece of chocolate silk pie in about ten seconds. In spite of the nausea I think I would still be willing to go face-down in the chocolate river at the Wonka factory. PS I would like chocolate, can someone get some to me, kthxbai.

Well, I guess at least I'm excited about my Etsy shop.

Oh yes. re: Tarot. I am wondering how you can read your own cards without... biasing what you see, you know?
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#194 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 11:23 PM
 
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Nah, I'm with you. No Saturday night fever for me, either... AF is usually quite heavy the first day or 2 and it's just not worth it, to me.

I feel like puking but I think it's because I scarfed an entire piece of chocolate silk pie in about ten seconds. In spite of the nausea I think I would still be willing to go face-down in the chocolate river at the Wonka factory. PS I would like chocolate, can someone get some to me, kthxbai.

Well, I guess at least I'm excited about my Etsy shop.

Oh yes. re: Tarot. I am wondering how you can read your own cards without... biasing what you see, you know?
duder. i'm on day 2, too. well, sort of. day 2 1/2. anyway, all i want to do is eat. chocolate. cookies. just anything sweet and rich, really. it's unfortunate because i am slowly growing out of my clothes and this was supposed to be the weekend that i got my azz back in gear so i don't have to buy new clothes. i'm pretty sure the 84670538627 cookies worth of dough that i just consumed is not helping. blah.
anywho.
is yr etsy shop up and running? i wanna looksey!

on that note, minimunklemama , where can i find YOUR etsy shop?

Christie, mama to Maggie Lee 2/25/10
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#195 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 11:31 PM
 
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Yeah, well, I'm sorta tracking calories and exercise n'at on SparkPeople, but! I get one day off every so often where I don't even enter what I eat (did this with weightwatchers too), and I don't feel guilty over it because I know tomorrow I'll be right back on top of things. If AF when you're TTC isn't an excuse to eat something comforting I'm not sure what is.

Etsy shop isn't stocked yet, although I'm going to put up a custom listing momentarily.... the username should be obvious. If not send me a PM
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#196 of 2251 Old 09-13-2008, 11:40 PM
 
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aaaaaah. i am so jealous of everyone and their saturday night spelunking exercises. DH is at work in memphis - he was supposed to be home today, but there were a ton of leaks (testing in chemical plants) - over 300, which is totally unheard of - so he and his coworker have to stay until probably wednesday to re-test all of the spots to make sure the company got rid of the leaks. <sigh>

so i am home all alone. i made chocolate chip cookies and ate a sh*t ton of dough. i feel like puking and, unfortunately, AF is here, so i can't even pretend it might be a pregnancy symptom, lol.

hope you ladies are having nice weekends. <3
Oh carrot! We are alone together! My Saturdays are always so depressing...DH has off on Mon and Tues...now what kind of weekend is that?? I almost wish I could just pop on over so we could watch a movie together in our lonely states. Hope you're ok!
On a side note, there is a concert in my neighborhood tonight! How weird is that? Took DD and doggie out for a stroll, heard music, followed, and ended up at a full blown 5ish band show down the street, in someone's back yard! I love how weird my town is!

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Nah, I'm with you. No Saturday night fever for me, either... AF is usually quite heavy the first day or 2 and it's just not worth it, to me.

I feel like puking but I think it's because I scarfed an entire piece of chocolate silk pie in about ten seconds. In spite of the nausea I think I would still be willing to go face-down in the chocolate river at the Wonka factory. PS I would like chocolate, can someone get some to me, kthxbai.

Well, I guess at least I'm excited about my Etsy shop.

Oh yes. re: Tarot. I am wondering how you can read your own cards without... biasing what you see, you know?
Ooh ooh me me!! I am with you on the "how do you read your own??" I practice tons of kiniesiology but can never ask about myself or DD. I feel like I will bias it somehow...Actually, I KNOW I will. I convinced myself I'd be pg by Aug 7...WRONG!!!!! That was actually very close to my first PP O...but def not pg!

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gbutterflykissesm
I had a sister born with Trisomy 18 aka Edwards syndrome
Why were you grilling her?are you worried?Or just interested.?As far as I know(and I had genetic counseling) there is nothing to worry about.It is a fluke,one in XXamount of a chance of it happening.Although they told my mum that once she had my sister,there was a one in three chance of it happening again so they stopped having kids after my next sister and brother.She wishes that she had gone on and had more now though odds don't always happen!
Any questions,just ask
Info is always good.
Talking of which,Thank you PBC for sharing Ruby's story.I found it very interesting.What a precious girl you have there.Her smile is so endearing
Don't let it worry you

BTW I agree with you,get excited.I would be,h@ll I am for everyone.
yay,let's all PEE together now!!!

Alrighty,I am off to eat ice cream,although I am hoping for night time nausea again (yeah crazy,I know but it is a symptom that HAS to be PG right??? )It can't just be a 2am tummy bug????

Everyone else:

Happy spleunking Sunday
Oh so interesting! Can I pick your brain about trisomy 18?? What was your sister like? What does trisomy 18 mean? And what is trisomy 13? I find all of this so interesting, but don't know much about it.
Thanks for the comment on Ruby. She is certainly precious but crazy girl!!! Mini maybe you can give me advice on our current situation??? It hsa to do with sleeping and bfing...and a high maintenance kid...Let me know. Maybe I'll PM you and gte your expert advice, since you have three beauties already and must know wayyyy more than me!!!!!

We might be considering holding off TTC...or at least not trying. Everything feels so confusing because I am so tired. Maybe tomorrow I will have energy to think about it all.

Lauren, wife to Brian, mom to Ruby (05.10.07) and Sylvie (09.30.09) and baby #3 to arrive in March 2014!

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#197 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 12:03 AM
 
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gbutt-
ug. if i have a daughter it will be worth this week of sexual frustration. at least i'm telling myself that.[/COLOR]

I have two girls and I didn't go without
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#198 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 12:37 AM
 
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OH.MY. I just ate a serious amount of food. This cycle is just nuts... I have been so hungry but I can't tell you why. I'm not PMSing, I'm not Oing...I'm doing nothing but spotting. For almost 7 days now...just in case you haven't seen my other pitiful posts today. Sorry such a downer. I think I need a pity party .
Can I be made president of the pitiful? I am definitely the best fit for it. Oh tomorrow will be a better day...
I am so full!

Lauren, wife to Brian, mom to Ruby (05.10.07) and Sylvie (09.30.09) and baby #3 to arrive in March 2014!

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#199 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 12:49 AM
 
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OH.MY. I just ate a serious amount of food. This cycle is just nuts... I have been so hungry but I can't tell you why. I'm not PMSing, I'm not Oing...I'm doing nothing but spotting. For almost 7 days now...just in case you haven't seen my other pitiful posts today. Sorry such a downer. I think I need a pity party .
Can I be made president of the pitiful? I am definitely the best fit for it. Oh tomorrow will be a better day...
I am so full!

You can haz pity party!


Much loff, and may ricking good times come your way tomorrow.
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#200 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 12:55 AM
 
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Oh carrot! We are alone together! My Saturdays are always so depressing...DH has off on Mon and Tues...now what kind of weekend is that?? I almost wish I could just pop on over so we could watch a movie together in our lonely states. Hope you're ok!
On a side note, there is a concert in my neighborhood tonight! How weird is that? Took DD and doggie out for a stroll, heard music, followed, and ended up at a full blown 5ish band show down the street, in someone's back yard! I love how weird my town is!
yeah, that would totally rick if you came over to watch a movie and eat some of my cooooookies! i want to watch something chick-flick-like, because DH always picks the movies we see because i will watch anything, and OMG i never thought i'd watch so much scifi!

hope you're having a nice night alone... sometimes they aren't so bad, but this is night 6 of being alone and at least 3 to go!

even worse, next month he has a three-week trip to kentucky! at least i have columbus day off so i get to go visit unfortunately, though, he'll be gone during our fertile window!!!

Christie, mama to Maggie Lee 2/25/10
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#201 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 01:25 AM
 
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Okay all, time for me to start obsessing.
I promised myself I wouldn't do it this month.......

My BBs hurt. J is nursing same as ever so I don't think it's nursing related.
(okay - I really hope it's not nursing related)
I keep getting crampy feelings.
(maybe in my head?)
I think we surely spelunked in time to catch that egg...

I'm testing tomorrow with FMU. (7 or 8 dpo) I know it's early but getting a + with J at 8dpo keeps me testing too soon....

Lord help me....I don't have to worry about two little ones taking the last of my sanity, I'm sure that will be long gone by the time I end up pregnant.

<3 Dena

Wife to M 4.04 and Mama to hopmad.gifJ the activist 5.06, superhero.gifSammy Tsunami 12.09, and stork-girl.gif  coming soon!

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#202 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 03:39 AM
 
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Dunno if anyone here cares, but I wrote a story of how I got pregnant with dd. It's really long, so consider this your warning,
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...&postcount=215

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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#203 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 04:19 AM
 
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Have you thought about birth plans yet?
We had a hb turned surprise unassisted last time. this time it will be a hb for sure. uc or not, don't know yet, but I am leaning towards at least an attended unassisted if that makes sense.

pbcup, carrot flowers sorry you ladies are feeling lonely.
you can pass me all that chocolate and whatever else you're having. that way you won't be so lonely (you'd have to meet with me to give me all that yummy stuff). *lol*

Valeria
dd 05.17.2005
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#204 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 04:37 AM
 
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Oh, neat. Thanks for sharing your story, Valeria

I think I know what you mean about attended unassisted... it sounds kind of like what I envision. I was actually on a UC mailing list for YEARS from the time I was 18 and read lots of birth stories and things. But I know myself, and I know how stressed out I can get, so I want to have someone there who knows what's going on -- since I've never had a baby before, right? So hopefully the midwife can just sorta help as needed and allay anxiety, basically. I wanted my mom to do this but alas, that's not to be.
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#205 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 08:28 AM
 
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Dunno if anyone here cares, but I wrote a story of how I got pregnant with dd. It's really long, so consider this your warning,
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...&postcount=215
awesome story

Natasha,Mum to many.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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#206 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 08:34 AM
 
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duder. i'm on day 2, too. well, sort of. day 2 1/2. anyway, all i want to do is eat. chocolate. cookies. just anything sweet and rich, really. it's unfortunate because i am slowly growing out of my clothes and this was supposed to be the weekend that i got my azz back in gear so i don't have to buy new clothes. i'm pretty sure the 84670538627 cookies worth of dough that i just consumed is not helping. blah.
anywho.
is yr etsy shop up and running? i wanna looksey!

on that note, minimunklemama , where can i find YOUR etsy shop?
Carrot flowers
I am sorry that the witch stopped by
eat ll the chocolate and dough you want hun,you'll be pg before you know it and growing out of your clothes faster than you can make the cookie

to find my store,go to etsy,scroll down the search tab on the upper left,to username and put in ponderingponteuf (one word)
I would link to it but I seem to be getting into enough trouble around here!!LOL

or you could just click on the link to my blog on the first page of this thread and there is a link to my store on the left hand side
I am working on new stuff this week so an update should be soon.
LMK what you think,
cheerio

Natasha,Mum to many.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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#207 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 09:14 AM
 
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Oh carrot! We are alone together! My Saturdays are always so depressing...DH has off on Mon and Tues...now what kind of weekend is that?? I almost wish I could just pop on over so we could watch a movie together in our lonely states. Hope you're ok!
On a side note, there is a concert in my neighborhood tonight! How weird is that? Took DD and doggie out for a stroll, heard music, followed, and ended up at a full blown 5ish band show down the street, in someone's back yard! I love how weird my town is!



Ooh ooh me me!! I am with you on the "how do you read your own??" I practice tons of kiniesiology but can never ask about myself or DD. I feel like I will bias it somehow...Actually, I KNOW I will. I convinced myself I'd be pg by Aug 7...WRONG!!!!! That was actually very close to my first PP O...but def not pg!



Oh so interesting! Can I pick your brain about trisomy 18?? What was your sister like? What does trisomy 18 mean? And what is trisomy 13? I find all of this so interesting, but don't know much about it.
Thanks for the comment on Ruby. She is certainly precious but crazy girl!!! Mini maybe you can give me advice on our current situation??? It hsa to do with sleeping and bfing...and a high maintenance kid...Let me know. Maybe I'll PM you and gte your expert advice, since you have three beauties already and must know wayyyy more than me!!!!!

We might be considering holding off TTC...or at least not trying. Everything feels so confusing because I am so tired. Maybe tomorrow I will have energy to think about it all.
PBC
I don't mind at all.
Trisomy 18 is the second most common trisomy after trisomy 21 (downs syndrome) trisomy 13 is the third most common. Apparently these three are the only FULL trisomys to lead to a live birth.Most don't make it outside the womb,those that do only live for a few hours but my sister was one of the few that ignore the statistics and lived for two months.She died the day before we were to bring her home
I willn ever forgive the nurse who took me away from the room while she passed in my mum's arms.When I got back,she was gone.Both from this earth and her room.I neverhad the chance to kiss her little head once more
She was a little peanut,weighing 3lbs 13 and 1/2 oz.I remeber her head being a little oddly shaped,that is par for the course with a lot of trisomy 18 babies,she was so peaceful and she had lots of strawberry blond hair.
All of her major organs were compromised.
It will be the 23rd anniversary of her death in October.I was ten at the time and I think the reason that added to the pain was because I had begged my Mum for four years (as soon as she married my wonderful step-father )for a sibling,unbeknownst to me she had suffered four or five m/c in that time also.
I rest knowing that while life for Samantha would have been full of love,it would have been painful amongst other things.That is why she was taken,to a place that I believe, she is running around as free as a bird and enjoying every.single.minute of it and watching down on us all along with her lost siblings and my two angels,keeping an eye on everything.

As for your current situation,feel free to pm me any q's you might have.It is a frustrating time and I remember going back and fourth on the whole having another baby scenario.When you are so tired everything seems so much worse.
The best piece of advice I was given is remember,the new baby is at least ten months away things will get better by then.
My first was a seriously high maintenence (sp?too early to spellcheck,sorry!!)Colic from 6-12pm EVERY friggin night for three LONG months,couple that with severe PPD on my part,let's just say,I am shocked that I went on to get pg four more times!!LOL
But...Things get better,I got help,the colic subsided.She is still high energy at six years old but I try to embrace it and nurture her to be who she is meant to be.I love her dearly and can't imagine life without her.But being honest here,there were many a day that I wanted to hand her off to the nearest person and RUN,RUNlike the wind.
I only BF her for ten weeks but the night nursing with the boys drained me.completely. At some point in the nursing relationship I just woke up and had that enough is enough look on my face,dug out the dr JAY Gorden night weaning (no flames anyone please,)advice and a week later we were sleeping better.
Now Ollie has been night weaned for a few months BUT he still wakes to come in to bed with us agin.Only this time,he sticks his finger in my belly button. It is his alternative to his NAY-NAY to make him feel safe and secure in the dark night. I'll be honest (again!!LOL) it is driving me nuts at the moment though because if I forget to trim his nails,it feels like he is sticking razor blades in there: I may just have to nip this in the bud soon.

Like I said,just PM me with any q's I would love to help.Just remember,it does get easier with a high maintenence child

Alrighty,
AFM OF COURSE I POAS again this morning,I thought that I saw the ghost of a line but my lack of sleep and coffee may well have had something to do with it so I am calling it a BFN unless I go back in a mo and see a distinct line.Good news is,I am out of tests and $$ so I have to go cold turkey until my original pee date of thursday!!

EVERYONE ELSE I hope you are all well,sorry I haven't had a chance to catch up on the posts,I will soon,as soon as I have refilled my cold and empty coffee cup,

Natasha,Mum to many.
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
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#208 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 10:13 AM
 
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i'm starting a new painting tonight. sometimes i paint in dh's studio with him to keep him company.
off to paint.... and screw.
Do you paint with oils or acrylics? I have a bunch of paintings to do (in oils) and am obviously convinced I'm pregnant so I'm wondering if I can paint while pregs, since there are a lot of solvents. I don't want to have my peeps wait 9 months! I was thinking of painting outside or something...

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Une TOPIQUE pour DISCUSSION
(believe it or not I was at one point fluent in French. Sad to have forgotten it.)
Have you thought about birth plans yet?
Moi aussi - about the french. I lived in Germany, too, and was conversationally fluent while there, and now I remember rien. Oh sh*t - that's french. haha. see?

Birth plan - yes. Hospital. I'm too chicken to do it at home and it's illegal in NC (unless it's an "accident") but I want it as natural as possible. Apparently at our hospital they have tubs, birthing balls, squat bars... but you're not allowed to GIVE BIRTH in the tub, just labor in it...: But I want a midwife - my practice has some - and a chill environment. My BF has already admitted that he might not be able to take it (He said HE would take the epidural since I won't) so I might ask my sister to join me so I don't give birh alone!

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I'm not PMSing, I'm not Oing...I'm doing nothing but spotting. For almost 7 days now...just in case you haven't seen my other pitiful posts today.
You're still BFing? Maybe your body is still regulating itself hormone wise. I went off the pill in May and had one regular cycle in July, then a crapload of bleeding for about a month, but now everything seems kosher. I think it could just be your body's way of getting it all together... hang in there!

MMM Yeah, I was asking my MIL questions about trisomy 18 because I wasn't actually sure what her daughter had had. My BF always just made it sound like a heart condition. So I wasn't sure if it was inherited. Which brought up a whole slew of issues. It's not inherited, but if you have a translocation, (an extra chromosome that is balanced by another extra chromosome somewhere else - so you are healthy and it doesn't affect you) you could pass that onto a child and then they could have a trisomy. So I was thinking, could my BF have a translocation? Could I? Should we get genetic testing done? But if we did get genetic testing done and one of us did have a translocation, would that mean we should stop trying and adopt instead? We both agreed we probably wouldn't but that brought us to the question of what if I got a screening when I was pregs and it came back at risk... would I want an amnio? I don't know if his mom got an amnio or not, but he said she knew her daughter had trisomy 18 before she was born. So they knew what she was facing. She never made it home from the hospital either... I think it was just a few days..

Anyway, then I told myself since I am obviously so pregnant I better stop worrying about such negative things

And then this morning I POAS - negative. At 7dpo, what a surprise! I might waste an FRER tomorrow. But my luteal phases so far have been only 7-9 days MAX and I'm already at 7 now, so that is a good sign. And NO sign of spotting anywhere. My nips are not as sore as before, but my bbs are more sore. My OPK is lighter than that one time 3 days ago. But listen to this... my OPKs before O are darker at night than with FMU. After O, they have been darker with FMU than at night... maybe it's because I have HCG in my system???....

OK, well girls, now that I've written a novel all about myself, I will go. I am trying to get some sewing done today. I made a really cute tent dress a few weeks ago that would also be a great tunic when pregs, so I want to make more.

Love yous!! See you later.

Oh yes, and Zen me thinky you pregy.

Mom of 2 feisty boys and 1 busy business --Tmuffin--where we help moms connect through birth, babywearing, play, and parenthood.

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#209 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 11:24 AM
 
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So. [B
AFM[/B] I had a nice day walking downtown and at the farmer's market with my BF and his mama. she's awesome. I tried out my concoction I've been thinking of to scent my homemade sugar scrubs - patchouli and vanilla. Smells delicious and BF likes it (although if I told him patchouli was in it I'm sure he would say he didn't...). And I had to come up with an excuse to go to the "natural" children's store where they have birthing classes and the like. Felt weird looking around in front of MIL - she doesn't know we're TTC. I was also grilling her at lunch because she had a baby with trisomy 18, and then I realized I shouldn't ask so many questions if I don't want her to know that we're trying!!
You're MIL probably skipped all the way home with a big grin on her face thinking there is a baby coming in the near future. Hope you make her a gramma soon
My oldest daughter is 10 and already I can't wait to spoil grandkids!
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#210 of 2251 Old 09-14-2008, 11:49 AM
 
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Oh, neat. Thanks for sharing your story, Valeria

I think I know what you mean about attended unassisted... it sounds kind of like what I envision. I was actually on a UC mailing list for YEARS from the time I was 18 and read lots of birth stories and things. But I know myself, and I know how stressed out I can get, so I want to have someone there who knows what's going on -- since I've never had a baby before, right? So hopefully the midwife can just sorta help as needed and allay anxiety, basically. I wanted my mom to do this but alas, that's not to be.
I don't want to turn this into a debate on assisted vs. unassisted. I have had a hospital birth (horrid) and a home birth with my 2nd (wonderful). I was pregnant with #3 and had planned for a home birth but then lost the baby. Now...if we get pregnant again I do not know what we will do. Losing our baby has made me so much more aware of pregnancy and birth loss. I think of the "what ifs". What if my midwife can't get a heartbeat or it is erratic and we can't transfer in time...etc. etc. But then I just tell myself to just get pregnant first and take it from there. The thought of going to the hospital for a birth scares the cr*p out of me but if that ever were the case then I know my midwife would be the primary caregiver.

Having said all that...I personally would never have an unassisted birth. There is too much potential for loss...of both the baby and the mother. I'm an emergency dispatcher and there are too many horror stories filed away in my brain.
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