Secondary Infertility? Anyone in my boat? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-16-2009, 02:30 PM
 
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HI crystal mommy! I can relate to the seeing incompetent parents factor!! I'm a social worker in child protection! Yikes! It is very frusterating to see ppl getting pg without even trying or wanting the child, when good ppl have no control over there fertility.

I read a quote in this book I am reading and it really hit home

"When we look into our babies' faces, they will never have to wonder if they were really wanted. Ours are the children who, no matter how they came to us, will look at their parents and know, from the deepest place in their heart, how much we cherish them, and how we labored to give them life".

Randine Lewis, The infertility Cure

I don't know, but it brought tears to my eyes and is now one of my favorite quotes!!

Good luckt oy ou on your journey, whatever is meant to happen will happen!
Oh man, : . Thanks for sharing that!

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Old 01-16-2009, 04:54 PM
 
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eviesmum your quote made me cry!! but it is soooo true!! my next child will KNOW how much it was wanted and how much I have gone thru for it to be part of our family. My daughter has her own special place b/c she was my very much wanted surprise!! Ppl who get preg w/o trying don't know how lucky they are... and I am not saying they don't love their children, but I know I didn't "enjoy" my DD's early months as much as I should have. I am positive I will never complain about late night feedings, sore bb's, etc when my next baby is born.



AFM u/s today showed 1 follicle @ 25mm, 1 @ 18mm and 1 @ 19mm. My lining is only 5.2, so not great but Dr says it has time to thicken by monday when I should ovulate. If i haven't o'd by monday, got to go back for another u/s... yay me!! I just love vag u/s!! NOT!
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Old 01-18-2009, 02:14 AM
 
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I also have secondary infertility.
Room for one more?
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Old 01-18-2009, 01:35 PM
 
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Hi there, everyone,

I just wondered if there was an ongoing thread for any mamas who are dealing with secondary infertility. If so, I'd like to join or I'd be happy to start one! I tried the TTC after Loss forum for a while, since I had a loss in Sept. of last year, but most everyone there seems to get pg at the drop of a hat, and I'm frankly finding it hard to read BFP after BFP on an almost daily basis when what I'm dealing with seems so different. Unfortunately, I've had one health issue after another crop up since the birth of my last child, so my road to fertility is no longer certain, nor quick or easy. So I'm looking for mamas who are also finding it difficult to conceive again, for whatever reason.

Anyone understand where I'm coming from or could point me in the right direction? I don't feel comfortable just posting on the regular infertility threads here when I've already had the luck to have children. I don't want to inadvertently cause anyone pain -- I know how hard it's been for me these past 5 months reading post after post on a TTC thread from women who are already pg again but still continue to post daily. It's painful, pure and simple, and I don't wish to be the source of anyone else's pain. But I would love to chat and sympathize about what I'm going through.

Guin
Guin - I have had 4 losses and I have MTHFR and also a progesterone deficiency. After my 3rd loss, I went to an RE who did testing and showed that my eggs looked good, my uterus was normal and that for all intensive purposes, I should get PG again. Then I had another early loss and was frustrated. I did not get PG again until Dec of this year. It took a year and 2 more early losses to get here so I totally understand where you are coming from. It is hare to be on the TTC boards because many of the mamas get pg again right away. I was sad watching too but I prayed and hoped my time would come.

Lots of hugs and prayers to you. I know that you will be bringing your Rainbow baby into your family this Fall!

Take care!
Jen

Jen, mama to  (M-13, N- 10, C- 8 rainbow1284.gif J- 3.5, and rainbow1284.gifJ -2, angel3.gifA (10/4/07) and 3 early losses)
We are expecting baby #7 in November 2013

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Old 01-20-2009, 12:18 PM
 
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Hello.

Can I join you ladies in the Secondary Infertililty discussion? We are officially at 6 plus months of ttc, after a really complicated road to getting our twin boys (who were conceived after almost 2 years ttc, a miscarriage, and 2 rounds of ivf.) Although we were pretty careless prior to officially trying to get pregnant one more time, and no oopses resulted from all of those cycles either. Oh, and did I mention that I'll be turning 36 next month?

It stinks. Everyone one around me is once again pregnant and almost all of them surprise pregnancies. I know half a dozen couples who are now on baby number 3 even though they started their families after my husband and I started ttc for the first time. I feel like this is dredging up so many of the bad emotions and memories from the first time I went through all of this infertility stuff, and it's harder than I ever thought it would be.

Neither of us have ever received an official diagnosis to explain why we seem to be such reproductive nonstarters, but the stats pretty much speak for themselves. We still have 6 frozen embryos from my first ivf, and me may give them a go this spring if things don't happen on their own (which is looking pretty much like it's not going to happen.)

Mom to twin boys (7/15/05), another boy 5/9/10, and our latest addition born 9/13/11!

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Old 01-20-2009, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey there, everyone,

What's up with everyone today? How are you doing?

I got some lab results back in the past few days I thought I might share. I have had many, many symptoms of low thyroid for a while now, so I asked to have it checked again. My TSH level was 1.18, which is apparently right smack-dab in the middle of normal. While I'm glad, it's also frustrating, b/c then why do I have all these symptoms? Sometimes searching for the whys behind what we're feeling physically feels well-neigh impossible.

I also have tested with low progesterone since my m/c, so I went on supplements this cycle for the first time (Prometrium). Is that what finally allowed me to conceive this month? Or was it the acupuncture I started 7 wks. ago? Or perhaps the various supplements I've started taking since the m/c? Boy, do I wish I could tell you! And I wish I felt like my body was back in balance and that's why I conceived. But I really don't, which makes me very nervous for the outcome of this pg. I'm basically just holding my breath over here right now.

Jen, I don't have MTHFR, but I do have Factor V Leiden (another blood clotting disorder) and therefore take baby aspirin both prenatally and throughout all my pg's. And I have kidney stones. And I developed chronic hypertension a year ago, so I'm on meds for that, too. But hey, at least I no longer have a gallbladder to give me issues anymore! :P (looking at the bright side here) When I sit down and list all the medical strikes against me, it makes me feel like a freak. The irony is that until 2 years ago, I was considered in very good health. What happened?

If you guys would like me to stop posting, I will completely understand. But I started this thread with support and encouragement in mind, not having the slightest inkling or hope I would actually conceive soon, and that support and my commitment to it hasn't changed one bit. So I'd like to continue to cheer for us all, if you don't mind...

Guin

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Old 01-21-2009, 12:49 AM
 
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Hi there, ladies! I am the lucky mother of a very sweet little two year-old who was conceived naturally after exactly one year of ttc. As a matter of fact, the day before I got a positive test, I had the conversation with my husband about what we should do...adoption, infertility treatment, how far do we go down the infertility road, what our insurance covers (nothing!) and so on and so forth. I would have likely been more patient about the whole thing but because I have NEVER had regular cycles and have had hormone testing suggesting that things were likely to be difficult. It turns out, after seeing a RE that I was really just lucky that month. So, now, even though we are not yet actively trying, I have yet to have a period since my little one was conceived and all of the hormones that i have tries at this point has yet to produce one. I was told that I was not menopausal but my ND mentioned that the testing that they do to determine that may not be very accurate and that I might, in fact be dealing with some POF. So...I am not sure what to do. I had two hip surgeries and pelvic and back injuries that I have been dealing with since DS's birth. So, in addition to breastfeeding for 19 mos and the medications and anesthesia that I have been exposed to ...not to mention that I still have to take pain medications to get through my day...although things are looking up in that department and I may be able to wean completely off soon (YAY!). I know that that will all affect my hormone levels. I have started on thyroid medication and herbal supplements to see if I can get things going in the right direction.

I apologize for the lengthy post but I am in the venting stage of my process...which isn't terribly great but what's a girl to do. All I know is that I have always wanted children...if I had my way, I would have a big family. And I work with infants and toddlers as well...which isn't great for my emotional or physical health. As I have seen others post, I am sure that if I was told that this was all I was going to get in terms of biological children, I would come to terms with it and likely adopt but I LOVED being pregnant and I would grieve terribly if I wasn't able to do it again. I found out that I had a cartilage tear in my hip while i was pregnant so despite the fact that I had a relatively easy pregnancy, I feel gypped that I was not able to enjoy it as much as I would have since I was in so much pain...especially since it turned out that he was just shy of ten pounds and I had gained 70 pounds (50 of which was lost within a month due to weight of child and insane amount of water gain).

Blah, blah, blah...thanks for those of you who took the time to listen to me ramble on and on and on and on...
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:25 PM
 
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I apologize for the lengthy post but I am in the venting stage of my process...which isn't terribly great but what's a girl to do. All I know is that I have always wanted children...if I had my way, I would have a big family. And I work with infants and toddlers as well...which isn't great for my emotional or physical health. As I have seen others post, I am sure that if I was told that this was all I was going to get in terms of biological children, I would come to terms with it and likely adopt but I LOVED being pregnant and I would grieve terribly if I wasn't able to do it again. I found out that I had a cartilage tear in my hip while i was pregnant so despite the fact that I had a relatively easy pregnancy, I feel gypped that I was not able to enjoy it as much as I would have since I was in so much pain...especially since it turned out that he was just shy of ten pounds and I had gained 70 pounds (50 of which was lost within a month due to weight of child and insane amount of water gain).

Blah, blah, blah...thanks for those of you who took the time to listen to me ramble on and on and on and on...
Go ahead, vent away!

I've been feeling similarly for a while, I also really enjoyed much of the pregnancy experience and I really want to experience that again (I also really want to know what it's like to carry just one baby, is that crazy?) If infertility hadn't presented itself as a roadblock we would already have 3 kids at this point in our marriage, and I really want the chance to realize that dream. My cycles have also always been wacky, and it's gotten worse the last year or so. I'm starting to worry that my age may be playing a part in my reproductive challenges, which on top of everything else I already had in play is not a good thing.

Sorry you're having such a hard time, Portlandmama, and everyone else. This can get so hard, can't it?

Mom to twin boys (7/15/05), another boy 5/9/10, and our latest addition born 9/13/11!

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Old 01-21-2009, 01:58 PM
 
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Welcome newbies! I'm a newbie too, and glad to see more faces!!

I am very glad to hear you had good results and are pg Guin! Especially the part about accupuncture and herbs! Hehe as that is the route I am going on!

Really, after reading that book, I am optimistic for everyone here that there is a cure for your unique situation in that book! LoL! I hope it works for me. I haven't started any of the advice yet.

It has allowed me to clearly see that I have Luteal Phase Defect and no progestone. I ovulate, or at least the OPK said I did but I have no temp spike afterwards. Which is where I am at right now... frusterating because if I did ovulate and perhaps even was succesful with sperm meet egg, nothing to sustain it!! So I am on the hunt for natural ways to increase progesterone...

I wish everyone lots of good luck!
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Old 01-21-2009, 02:08 PM
 
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Hopping over from "new posts"...

I have dealt with both primary and secondary infertility - I found secondary to be FAR more emotionally difficult.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough : http://www.amazon.com/Wanting-Anothe...2553943&sr=8-1
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Old 01-21-2009, 02:15 PM
 
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This thread feels like a great place for me, too!

I got pregnant in 2001 with my oldest daughter with no problems. My 2nd daughter took about 6 months, but nothing in the grand scheme of things. We have been TTC for 21 months now for #3. I did get pregnant in August but m/c in Oct. I also find it hard to read the TTC after loss board as well, so I have just quit posting, really. I think I have some hormonal things going on low progesterone/PCOS/or something else. It is time for me to call the RE today and I am SO scared to do so.

Part of me feels like I have 2 healthy, wonderful children- am I tempting fate by seeking treatment for another? I know so many of the women that will be in the RE's office will be trying for their first. It makes me feel almost guilty in a way. But on the other hand we would really love another child and I just feel like 3 children was what I was meant to have. I'm having a really hard time with all of it this week But at the very least I would like to know what hormones are funky and if there is an easy fix, that would be great. I am already on metformin- which was prescribed by my midwife in July, but it doesn't seem to be doing much since the m/c.

Anyway- ((((hugs)))) to everyone here. I know first hand that it is not a fun place to be

C- mama to K (8) and A (5.5) (8w5d) 10/08, new baby O-2.11.10
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Old 01-21-2009, 04:20 PM
 
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Hopping over from "new posts"...

I have dealt with both primary and secondary infertility - I found secondary to be FAR more emotionally difficult.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough : http://www.amazon.com/Wanting-Anothe...2553943&sr=8-1

Thanks for the book recomedation it looks like a great book

Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(11),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
Harlan (11/4/2011)http://www.desertreadingloft.com--Independent Usborne Books Consultant
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Old 01-21-2009, 07:45 PM
 
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guinevere congrats!! I think that just b/c you get a + test doesn't mean you have the plague!! plus, its nice to see that all this TTC actually works sometimes!

portlandmama & mamasgirl welcome, hope your stay is short!!


afm 1dpo, still having quite a bit of pain. My follicles were huge, and I think my ovary was trying to self-destruct!! Hopefully things will be different this month!!
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Old 01-21-2009, 08:10 PM
 
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Wow, I teared up reading all of these (okay, not all.. but some) posts.

I have three wonderful and beautiful children, and am aching for another. Sometimes, often really, it's a physical ache.. as I can literally FEEL it inside of me. ACHING.

I often get comments like, "Be thankful you have children. Some people cannot conceive at all."

It's kind of hurtful because I AM VERY VERY VERY thankful for my three lovely children. I can't express HOW thankful I am, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't want more.

Why is it some people believe you are selfish if you don't have any and the rest seem to believe you're selfish if you want more than the average?

Two of my friends just gave birth, and in the last three days, two of my friends just told me they are pregnant (both about 8 weeks along). One friend of mine wasn't even trying, didn't even want to get pregnant. The other had been trying for some time, had a miscarriage, and was pregnant again the following cycle (and I rejoice with her, and am thankful she told me in a loving, gentle way... because she understands how it feels for everyone around you to be "knocked up"!)

Christian Texan Mama to Merika (5/2005), Nolyn (1/2007), Keagan (UC baby 9/2007), Four miscarried lovelies, and sweet Evangeline Rose who arrived 9/7/2010 (home/water birth).  Expecting our fifth blessing March 2012! Viva la Vegan Pregnancy, my friends! 
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Old 01-21-2009, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, my first set of beta hcGs doubled, but the second set only went up by around 75% instead of 100%. This was high enough for the OB to feel comfortable, but not for me. So I requested another set for Friday. And just after I got off the phone with the nurse, I started bleeding brown blood and now have heavy cramping.

I wish I had never found out I was pg. Then I would just think I was starting AF a day late. What was the point in any of this? There is no point.

I feel beyond horrible right now.

Guin

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Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
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Old 01-21-2009, 09:52 PM
 
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Guin,
Positive thoughts.
I don't know how many times women bleed brown blood while preggers. If it is brown than it is old.
You can get cramps from anything!
Right now I have cramps from gas b/c of something I ate.
A 75% increase is normal. Here is a link to a beta chart!
http://www.betabase.info/showBasicChart.php?type=Single
There is also a way to track your own beta!

Hang in there.


About me:
I am a 29 y/o mother of one who never had any IF problems. We had our son and I have not been able to conceive since. I am currently undergoing my first IF treatment. I chose to be aggressive and am using injectables with IUI.
I have my fourth u/s friday and had to increase my dose b/c they are not growing!!!
I am glad to find a thread full of supportive women that I can talk about my children and IF with !!!
Thanks and hello to all.
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Old 01-22-2009, 02:56 AM
 
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Well, my first set of beta hcGs doubled, but the second set only went up by around 75% instead of 100%. This was high enough for the OB to feel comfortable, but not for me. So I requested another set for Friday. And just after I got off the phone with the nurse, I started bleeding brown blood and now have heavy cramping.

I wish I had never found out I was pg. Then I would just think I was starting AF a day late. What was the point in any of this? There is no point.

I feel beyond horrible right now.

Guin
keep positive, I hope everything turns out ok for you!!:
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Old 01-22-2009, 09:38 AM
 
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If infertility hadn't presented itself as a roadblock we would already have 3 kids at this point in our marriage, and I really want the chance to realize that dream.
I understand this so well. I alway thought I would at least be pregnant with our third by now.

I did something heroic (hah.. to me) today: I went through my box of maternity clothes and the smallest baby outfits left from dd. I kept only two pairs of pants and a couple of pieces of baby clothes. It was strange to see those things. Four years ago seems like such a long time! It was actually surprisingly easy, as I guess I had already come to terms with the fact that there is no need to keep old things.

I am having an ok time, as I am waiting to ovulate. I finally found a source of Vitex and started taking that less than two weeks ago. This time of the cycle is always ok for me. It is the time before my period is due, when I feel cramply, knowing that AF is about to come, that is hard for me. It is a certain type of tortute to get all the signs of AF arriving and yet have to wait for a week or more for it to actually arrive.

Hope you are all doing well this week. It is very comforting to not be alone in this. It has also helped me that many of my pregnant friends now have newborns, so they are no longer pregnant. Somehow seeing the babies (with their individual personalities) is easier for me that seeing the pregnant women.

Congratulations, Guinevere!

I just figure out something interesting: I am not one bit bothered by the pregnancies of those, who have struggles. The difficult ones are those to whom "it just happened" and they act very lightly about it. (Like commenting to me how I should be the next in line and such.) THOSE bug me, as well as the many parents who are not nice to the ones they have and yet keep having more kids.

Mama to a little lady and always praying for more.
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Old 01-22-2009, 10:39 AM
 
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Good morning, Ladies!

May I join? I typically post in the Green Living/Food and Nutrition forums, but I feel pulled in this direction as I TTC #3. I am so, so, so fortunate to have 2 beautiful kids (almost 4 and 2 1/2), but in my heart I want another. As I TTC #1, I didnt get AF for 6 mos straight. Even after 2 rounds of prometrium and 1 round of provera AF could not be induced to come. We were setting up everything to try clomid and then I got PG. Before that time, teh Zone Diet was all the rage (anyone remember?). DH and I were eating lean protein, lots of veggies, beans, and fruit, and dairy. I did pilates (at home of course) every night and I was lean and healthy. I am kinda small anyway. Now, after 2 babies and a lot of soul searching, I am not on the zone diet, but I see the the benefits of a truly healthy and organic diet. I also dont eat any meat anymore now that I have learned a bit more about how the farming of animals industry works (though, I do eat dairy and eggs because I am not sure about how to get the vits I need though a strictly veg diet). I dont restrict my food consumption at all like i once did but I do eat a similar diet as I did before when I could not get pg.

Sorry that was so long. But, I see this pattern repeating and I am wondering if what so many have stated about their accupuncturists (regarding eating meat) is true. When I did have periods, they were heave - heavy. But, also clotty like you would not imagine (sorry TMI). I am wondering if I should go back to eating meat just until I get pg.

years ago, when on the zone diet, I at e a ton of soy products. At the time, my doc said that the soy was imitating my natural estrogen so my body did need to produce it on its own, making it hard for me to get pg. That is not the case now, I didnt eat soy of any kind from then on, so I wonder if he was just grasping. Though, I did read many articles discussing the same thing.

Okay, sorry for so much info and rambling. I am just beginning to get pretty worried again. I hope you have room for one more. ~Jen
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Old 01-22-2009, 10:41 AM
 
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I just wanted to say hi to all of the new people, and I'll be thinking of you Guin .

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Old 01-22-2009, 01:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone, welcome to any new posters. I'm sorry we're all dealing with this, but I'm encouraged to have others with which to share the journey. It makes such a difference, doesn't it?

Tiny update on me. I still don't really know where I stand. The brown spotting stopped as soon as it started, but the lower back pain has continued and is extremely bad, much worse than anything I've had with any previous pg. But it's all in my back and only on the right side, which is strange, b/c usually I feel uterine cramping across my back AND abdomen. At this point, I honestly can't tell if it's uterine or maybe pain from my kidney (I am prone to kidney stones) or could it possibly be an ectopic? I just know how much it hurts.

So here I wait. I'm thinking of going out and getting some herbs to make Susun Weed's Threatened Miscarriage Brew today, provided I don't start gushing blood any minute (which a large part of me is expecting.) And then tomorrow I have another blood draw which should help me to know better what's going on.

My last loss was a D&C b/c my body wouldn't let go of the pg, so I've never experienced a natural m/c. I assume, though, that the pain would continue, cramping would begin, and I will start bleeding?

Thank you for your good thoughts; they mean a lot to me. I'm very scared and in pain and afraid to have any hope; it just doesn't seem reasonable.

Guin

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Old 01-22-2009, 02:03 PM
 
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Let's hope it's just a kidney thing (not that THAT's any better). Hope you get good results tomorrow!!


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Old 01-23-2009, 01:46 AM
 
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Guin, I will be thinking of you. Sending luck your way for tomorrow...::
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:49 AM
 
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EGADS, Guinevere! I can only imagine how stressful and scary this is for you. I am sending the best of thoughts your way!
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Old 01-23-2009, 02:49 PM
 
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OK, I *NEED* to vent, and this is the only place I can.


I got the results from my cosyntropin stimulation test, all normal, my adrenals are fine. So my doctor thinks I might have PCOS, but would like me to see an OB/GYN for further care since she's just a Family Practitioner. *Sigh*, and there are no OB/GYN's at that office regularly. She's supposed to call me about the tests, and I'm going to see if I can get a referral to see a visiting OB there.

I called to the only other OB available in the area, and I can't get in until APRIL 2ND : !!! OMG, I can't imagine waiting THAT long!! It feel like an ETERNITY!!!!!

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Old 01-23-2009, 03:54 PM
 
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wildblossom i would ask the NP if she can @ least prescribe Glucophage, that is the first thing the OB is going to do, and it can take 3 months to start working. It isn't a super duper high class drug, anyone should be able to order it. Good luck!!
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crystal-mommy View Post
wildblossom i would ask the NP if she can @ least prescribe Glucophage, that is the first thing the OB is going to do, and it can take 3 months to start working. It isn't a super duper high class drug, anyone should be able to order it. Good luck!!
Thanks, she still hasn't called, and I'll ask her about that as well.

Another problem could be Asherman's Syndrome - http://www.ashermans.org/ . I did have a D&C when my youngest was 10 days old due to retained membranes. Man, I'll be pissed if that's the case!

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Old 01-24-2009, 02:26 PM
 
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Guinevere ~ hopefully it's not a m/c.

wildblossom ~ that is crazy that OB can't see you til April 2nd that is a way away.




Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(11),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
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Old 01-25-2009, 03:46 PM
 
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Any news on Guin??
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Old 01-26-2009, 01:59 PM
 
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Any news on Guin??
I was wondering about Guinivere too, please come back to update!

Mom to twin boys (7/15/05), another boy 5/9/10, and our latest addition born 9/13/11!

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