Secondary Infertility? Anyone in my boat? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 141 Old 01-07-2009, 10:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
Guinevere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi there, everyone,

I just wondered if there was an ongoing thread for any mamas who are dealing with secondary infertility. If so, I'd like to join or I'd be happy to start one! I tried the TTC after Loss forum for a while, since I had a loss in Sept. of last year, but most everyone there seems to get pg at the drop of a hat, and I'm frankly finding it hard to read BFP after BFP on an almost daily basis when what I'm dealing with seems so different. Unfortunately, I've had one health issue after another crop up since the birth of my last child, so my road to fertility is no longer certain, nor quick or easy. So I'm looking for mamas who are also finding it difficult to conceive again, for whatever reason.

Anyone understand where I'm coming from or could point me in the right direction? I don't feel comfortable just posting on the regular infertility threads here when I've already had the luck to have children. I don't want to inadvertently cause anyone pain -- I know how hard it's been for me these past 5 months reading post after post on a TTC thread from women who are already pg again but still continue to post daily. It's painful, pure and simple, and I don't wish to be the source of anyone else's pain. But I would love to chat and sympathize about what I'm going through.

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
Guinevere is offline  
#2 of 141 Old 01-07-2009, 11:29 PM
 
crazyrunningmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welcome and like we always say, hope your stay here is short.

Thank you so much for your sensitivity. There have been secondary infertility threads on this board in the past and I think people have found it to be helpful and no one has been offended. For some of us (such as myself), we have managed to have one or more children with the help of ART (assisted reproductive technology) and are now ttc again, most with the help of ART again. My issues are almost exclusively MF, we used IVF with ICSI to conceive my dd and we are now ttc #2 the same way. There are others here who have had one or more children without ART and are struggling to concieve more.

For me, I think in some ways it is easier, because I don't expect to get pg unless we are doing an IVF or FET cycle. We always dtd and hope for a miracle, but it is not as disappointing for me I guess. But getting a BFN after my recent FET cycle was very hard. I have also experienced 2 early m/c's on this journey (one before my dd and one last Aug).

I hope that you are able to get the support you need here, you are certainly welcome.

mama to two DD's, 7 and 3 (3 rounds of IVF and more FET's than I can remember)
crazyrunningmama is offline  
#3 of 141 Old 01-07-2009, 11:32 PM
 
suziek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 763
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here.

I consider myself a very lucky person and do feel a bit like a drama queen or worse coming here.

However, I am really in need of information and guidance so here I am. I've been ttc for 12 months plus now and have just finished a cycle of chlomid.

So it's nice to meet you.

Happy mom to DS2000, DS2002, DD2004, DS2006 and DS 10/2009:
suziek is offline  
#4 of 141 Old 01-07-2009, 11:44 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Healing my heart
Posts: 6,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll join here too, and hope my stay is brief. I really don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, having several children already.

I'm not even sure what I'm dealing with yet, still waiting on test results. Could be thyroid, adreanl insufficiency, or something else. The wanting hurts so bad, and seeing others with what I want is like a stab in the heart.

I am so sorry that any of us are here .

Mama~Love is offline  
#5 of 141 Old 01-07-2009, 11:52 PM
 
chix99's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 36
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You can add me to the list as well!

For me, 3rd pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, and it has been downhill from there. For one medical reason or another (some of them pretty serious) I had to wait to TTC for a full year after my miscarriage. And since then, it has been another year of TTC - the first few months of BFN, I was able to bounce back quickly. And as each month progressed, it got harder and harder.

And it's hard, because on one hand, you feel guilty feeling bad because you already have wonderful, healthy children. On the other hand, darn it - you need ANOTHER kid for your family to feel complete, and it's not happening...!

It's hard to live your live in monthly blocks - 2 weeks to ovulate, then 2 WW -etc...

We are in 2WW of first IUI cycle now - I'm trying SO HARD not to get my hopes up!

We are part of that fortunate/unfortunate group with the "unexplained infertility"
chix99 is offline  
#6 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 12:52 AM
 
SoCaliMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


Add me to the list also

#1 only took 3months ttc

#2 took 1 month shy of 1yr ttc and 2 back to back m/c's

#3 is inching closer to the 2yr mark and only 2 chemical pregnancies one of which i wouldn't have know if i didn't test early since af ended up showing up on time and being short.

We are changing insurance in Feb though dh's work so we are waiting til then to make the move to me seeing a RE and having dh get a SA done.


Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(10),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
Harlan (11/4/2011)http://www.desertreadingloft.com--Independent Usborne Books Consultant
SoCaliMommy is online now  
#7 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 12:56 AM
 
attached2mason's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 647
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here. I have one son who was "easy" to concieve - happened the first month and I figured that would be just the way it was for me every time. I guess I was wrong. We've been ttc #2 for almost 2 years and it is SO. VERY. HARD. I had no idea it could be this hard. As I watch my DS grow older I feel so sad that he doesn't have a sibling closer to his age . . .and that he may never have a sibling at all. People around me (mostly family) think i should just be happy with 1. Well, i am happy that I have one, but they haven't seen the look on Mason's face when he asks, trying not to cry, "Who is my brother? why don't I get to have a brother". breaks my heart.

whew. sorry for the rant .

Loved this quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by chix99 View Post
It's hard to live your live in monthly blocks - 2 weeks to ovulate, then 2 WW -etc...
That really hit home.

Amy
mama to big brother Mason (Jan '05) and the littles, Adam and Holden (May '10)
attached2mason is offline  
#8 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:27 AM
 
crazyrunningmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,459
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd has taken to telling people that she is going to be a big sister. They look at me and I have to quickly say "maybe some day.... we hope so... etc" before they get all excited and ask me when I'm due. She also said yesterday "I wish I had a brother". I cried.

mama to two DD's, 7 and 3 (3 rounds of IVF and more FET's than I can remember)
crazyrunningmama is offline  
#9 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:43 AM - Thread Starter
 
Guinevere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi there, everyone,

I'm happy to have someone who understands what I'm going through right now. But I'm sad any of us are in this boat -- fertility issues are very painful.

If no one minds, I'd be happy to keep this thread alive for a while and see what comes of it. Perhaps we could post how long we've been TTC and what difficulties we are facing; I'm sure, with the amazing collective knowledge of MDC, it's likely we can help out with knowledge as well as support.

I'll start. I'm 37 and have been TTC since April of 2008. I had one brief success in July, but it was a blighted ovum (possibly caused by low progesterone) and I haven't been successful since. My cycles in the past year or so have gotten shorter and shorter, with AF lasting longer and heavier. Lovely, right?

I've finally had some testing done and am dealing with low progesterone, underactive thyroid, and possible insulin resistance. I also have chronic hypertension now (since the birth of my last baby) and had my gallbladder removed in June. Oh, and I have kidney stones. So medically, I'm kind of a mess these days, lol.

I don't know if it's better or worse that conceiving hasn't previously been a problem for me; perhaps if it had, if I knew I needed major outside help to conceive at all, I would be more mentally prepared for month after month of disappointment. But probably not. I've been in quite the funk for the last several months, in particular, which of course doesn't help matters at all.

What is everyone currently doing/trying to overcome things?

I started seeing an acupuncturist last month, and am trying Prometrium this month for the first time. I'm also about to start a number of other supplements my acupuncturist recommended, for my thyroid, kidneys, low blood sugar. And I started taking Vitex as of last month.

Where are you right now in your cycle?

I'm 1 DPO. As I understand it, I'll need to stop the Prometrium when I want to have AF, b/c otherwise it won't show up on its own. Weird concept, but I understand why. And I'll have to test this month before I would be "late" b/c if by some miracle it was +, I won't be able to stop the progesterone w/o risking m/c.

Alright, enough babbling by me tonight. Next?

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
Guinevere is offline  
#10 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
Guinevere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Okay, so I lied . I just wanted to add that the comments by my other children are probably one of my greatest sources of pain, as well. ALL of them love babies. My BFF just gave birth a couple of weeks ago and my kids can't get enough of her new little one. They are SO excited to have another sibling and they ask me about it all.the.time. That's been one of the hardest things to deal with.

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
Guinevere is offline  
#11 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 02:26 AM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Healing my heart
Posts: 6,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've been seeing different doctors for almost a year now. I've kind of diagnosed myself as having some sort of thyroid or adrenal insufficiency and maybe PCOS. Nothing's official yet, as I'm still waiting for test results.

My last cycle was when I conceived my 2 yr old DD, which was almost 3 years ago. I recently had a Provera-induced period that ended almost 2 weeks ago. It's highly unlikely that I will have another on my own, so my doctor has given me a year's worth of Provera to take every few months to clean me out.

I don't know what will happen next.

Mama~Love is offline  
#12 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 05:14 AM
Dea
 
Dea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HI Mamas!
I'm here too. I am TTC #2 and I have been avoiding the general infertility board for the same reasons as Guinevere, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but 2ndary is hard too!

Guinevere, it sounds like we have kinda similar stories.
I had my daughter Feb, via emergency c-section. (I so wanted a home birth...) then I had a surgery to remove a blockage from my left fallopian tube, then 2 surgeries to remove a bunch of polyps and scar tissue from my uterus (likey from the c-section) and then I had my gall bladder removed a month ago. That makes 5 surgeries in '08!
AND my fertility issues aren't my messy uterus they are my crazy ovaries! So now I am on metformin and it's kicking my ass again (I forgot how much I hated it!) on provera to start another cycle and then I will start menopur with an IUI when a cycle starts. So that's my story.

It all sucks... sucks sucks sucks.

I feel bad for the ladies at my fertility clinic with DH and I show up there, with Trixie, we don't have anyone to leave her with, so she has to come, and I know that some people are upset to see her. The doctors and nurses tell me it's okay though, she's proof that everything works, but still, I feel bad. It's a good thing that she's so cute though!

Does anyone remember why high fat dairy is good when you are TTC? I'll ask the main board too.

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
Dea is offline  
#13 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 11:03 AM
 
nummies's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: in a state of love
Posts: 3,257
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi ladies. I'm here as well, although my story is a tad different because we have infertility period. No secondary about it. We did IVF with ICSI to have our first son (almost 20 months). We are currently doing some IUIs to have number 2. Our problem is severe poor sperm morphology. Nice to meet you all!

Oh and Dea, I know what you mean, when I was TTC #1, I used to get so upset when people brought their children into our fertility office, especially if they were under 2. But now that I have a child, I understand that it is hard to find childcare! I still don't bring him in there (even though he is proof that their office is awesome!) but it is hard to arrange childcare sometimes.

Three boys.  jumpers.gif
nummies is offline  
#14 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 12:01 PM
 
Kristin0105's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 942
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for starting (or reviving) this thread. I just turned (gulp) 43 Monday and we have been trying for #2 for over a year. I have a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, greatest child ever 3 year old daughter who I love more than anything else in the world. I really, really, really want to have another baby. She really, really, really wants us to have a baby. But it just does not look possible at this point. I had some blood tests done in May and my FSH was 12.? so a little high and the fertility specialist was all doom and gloom. I immediately set up an appointment with an acupuncturist/TCM doctor and began treatment and a bunch of supplements. By October my FSH was down to 7.1 but alas here it is January and I am still not pregnant. With my dd I got pregnant as soon as I said lets have a baby. And I think that makes it soooo much harder. Because I went into the lets get pregnant thinking this could take months, I'm 38 years old maybe I can't get pregnant. 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. So this time it's been a real shock that it's just not happening and might not ever happen. I would consider IVF in a heart beat and would even do donor eggs if need be. Yesterday, I even looked up IVFvacations.com But my husband is against interventions. He is unwilling to spend the money. I feel like every month that goes by my chances of having one more little lovey gets a lot less likely. It's so hard. I wish I hadn't waited so long to have my little sweetie. I'm mad that he would put a price tag on something so priceless. And I'm so sad for my dd who asks me every week when are we going to have a baby. I'd consider adoption but dh was just laid off so I think (I am just guessing here) that we will have to wait a year from the time he gets back to work before they would consider us. Sorry to be such a downer. I've been feeling a little blue the last 2 days it's totally unlike me. But I think it's a sign AF is on her way soon that and all the other stressors. Okay, pity party over lets get back to work..

I hope everyone's stay here is short and 2009 brings peace to all of us.

chicken3.gifdog2.gifcat.gifenergy.gif
Kristin0105 is offline  
#15 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 12:44 PM
 
Julia'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'll join in. I have PCOS and don't ovulate at all. DD took 18 months of trying and one miracle month of clomid. No period since her birth. I didn't respond to clomid when trying for #2, so we had to do ivf. IVF#1 resulted in twins, lost at 12 weeks. IVF #2 should be this february.

I've found everyone here to be so supportive of me. I try not to mention my dd much when posting in this section, because I know how hard it was when we were trying to conceive her.

I concur with not posting in ttc after a loss. It is so different with infertility and it takes much more time.

I also don't post much in ttc. I think I'm kinda boring since I don't measure time in 2 weeks. Without ovulation, my time is "wait for RE appt, wait for approval, wait for drugs, go thru procedures, wait for result". It generally takes much longer that a month and I really don't have much influence over it.

My dd asked for a "little baby" for Christmas...she then always adds that she wants a "BBBIIIGGG baby for Mommy" as well. It's so sweet, but now it makes me almost want to cry and she hasn't stopped saying it, even though Christmas is over. If only Santa would have listened to her...

Oh, and I too am stuck with bringing dd to my appointments. I try and keep her as quiet as possible and stand in the back corner when other ladies are there. I also make sure I don't scold her because I don't want to upset the other ladies anymore than I already do.

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
Julia'sMom is offline  
#16 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 12:59 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Healing my heart
Posts: 6,151
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry that the rest of you are here as well, and hope that we're not here long!

My doctor has mentioned the possibility of PCOS, but not much after that. I've read a little bit about it, and I have some of the symptoms.

's to everyone!!

Mama~Love is offline  
#17 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
Guinevere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Morning, everyone -- how are you doing today? Anyone have any appts., etc? I have acupuncture later on this morning, and just began adding all those new supplements into my routine today -- I feel like a walking medicine chest now, ugh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by wild~blossom View Post
I've been seeing different doctors for almost a year now. I've kind of diagnosed myself as having some sort of thyroid or adrenal insufficiency and maybe PCOS. Nothing's official yet, as I'm still waiting for test results.

My last cycle was when I conceived my 2 yr old DD, which was almost 3 years ago. I recently had a Provera-induced period that ended almost 2 weeks ago. It's highly unlikely that I will have another on my own, so my doctor has given me a year's worth of Provera to take every few months to clean me out.

I don't know what will happen next.
Hugs to you, mama. I hope you get some answers soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm just randomly shooting in the dark, with all the things I'm trying. I don't really know if any of it will work, but it feels better than doing nothing, yk? I'm too much of a control freak to just sit back and hope things will improve on their own.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dea View Post
HI Mamas!
I'm here too. I am TTC #2 and I have been avoiding the general infertility board for the same reasons as Guinevere, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but 2ndary is hard too!

Guinevere, it sounds like we have kinda similar stories.
I had my daughter Feb, via emergency c-section. (I so wanted a home birth...) then I had a surgery to remove a blockage from my left fallopian tube, then 2 surgeries to remove a bunch of polyps and scar tissue from my uterus (likey from the c-section) and then I had my gall bladder removed a month ago. That makes 5 surgeries in '08!
AND my fertility issues aren't my messy uterus they are my crazy ovaries! So now I am on metformin and it's kicking my ass again (I forgot how much I hated it!) on provera to start another cycle and then I will start menopur with an IUI when a cycle starts. So that's my story.

Does anyone remember why high fat dairy is good when you are TTC? I'll ask the main board too.
Hey there, Dea -- yep, you officially beat me in surgery count for 08 , although if I'd had Sophie this past year, that would have brought me up to 3. Which would be 3 more surgeries than I'd ever had before in my whole life.
Do you feel that the c-section changed things in your body? B/c I'm increasingly feeling that way. For example, I never used to get pain during O, but since the c/s, I do. And basically all my health issues arose after Sophie's birth, although that may have more to do with my body simply having had "enough" after 5 difficult pg's. It's so hard to know what caused what, yk?

I am sadly uninformed about high-fat dairy, although, like you, I dimly recall hearing the same thing somewhere. Hopefully someone else has the scoop on that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nummies View Post
Hi ladies. I'm here as well, although my story is a tad different because we have infertility period. No secondary about it. Nice to meet you all!

Oh and Dea, I know what you mean, when I was TTC #1, I used to get so upset when people brought their children into our fertility office, especially if they were under 2. But now that I have a child, I understand that it is hard to find childcare! I still don't bring him in there (even though he is proof that their office is awesome!) but it is hard to arrange childcare sometimes.
I think the whole issue of other children/babies around women experiencing infertility is simply a delicate line to walk. And for me at least, it depends so much, too, on where I am emotionally on any given day.

I've had many, many relatives and close friends have babies over the past year while I've been struggling to conceive and sustain another pg. And while I'm still able to be happy for them, it's also a tangible and painful reminder of what I don't have. I don't avoid them, but, for example, I couldn't manage to attend my BFF's baby shower for her latest addition -- it was just too much. Instead we celebrated on our own, in a smaller, less baby-baby-baby-focused setting, which I *could* handle.

I confess that when I hear about someone getting pg, right now it doesn't serve to give me hope, it just feels like, "oh, another one who isn't me." These are not pretty emotions and I'm not proud to feel them, but there it is, the unvarnished truth. And I also know it says far more about me and where I am right now than about them. I need to cope better. I'm working on it, truly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristin0105 View Post
Thanks for starting (or reviving) this thread. I just turned (gulp) 43 Monday and we have been trying for #2 for over a year. I have a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, greatest child ever 3 year old daughter who I love more than anything else in the world. I really, really, really want to have another baby. She really, really, really wants us to have a baby. But it just does not look possible at this point. I would consider IVF in a heart beat and would even do donor eggs if need be. Yesterday, I even looked up IVFvacations.com But my husband is against interventions. He is unwilling to spend the money. I feel like every month that goes by my chances of having one more little lovey gets a lot less likely. It's so hard. I wish I hadn't waited so long to have my little sweetie. I'm mad that he would put a price tag on something so priceless. And I'm so sad for my dd who asks me every week when are we going to have a baby. I'd consider adoption but dh was just laid off so I think (I am just guessing here) that we will have to wait a year from the time he gets back to work before they would consider us. Sorry to be such a downer. I've been feeling a little blue the last 2 days it's totally unlike me. But I think it's a sign AF is on her way soon that and all the other stressors. Okay, pity party over lets get back to work..

I hope everyone's stay here is short and 2009 brings peace to all of us.
Welcome, Kristin! (that's my real name, too ) I'm sorry that you and your DH aren't on the same page with regards to interventions. That is really hard. There's a small part of me that is resentful of my DH b/c it took me until my youngest was 2 to persuade him that having another child would be a good idea for our family. But by that time, I had developed all these health issues which have made that goal very difficult. So even though it's not fair and possibly not even true, part of me feels that if I had tried to get pg earlier, I wouldn't have run into all these problems. Sigh. There just seems to be so much guilt and self-doubt that comes along with infertility. I hate it! :

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
Guinevere is offline  
#18 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:31 PM
 
kbhlmh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: SW Florida
Posts: 465
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just jumping in on this thread!! Will go back and read everything later when I have time. SI sucks!

Karen 48 DH 53, DD 22, DS1 20, DS2 4, DSS 24, DSD 21
kbhlmh is offline  
#19 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
Guinevere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: New Mexico
Posts: 1,092
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I'll join in. I have PCOS and don't ovulate at all. DD took 18 months of trying and one miracle month of clomid. No period since her birth. I didn't respond to clomid when trying for #2, so we had to do ivf. IVF#1 resulted in twins, lost at 12 weeks. IVF #2 should be this february.

I've found everyone here to be so supportive of me. I try not to mention my dd much when posting in this section, because I know how hard it was when we were trying to conceive her.

I concur with not posting in ttc after a loss. It is so different with infertility and it takes much more time.

I also don't post much in ttc. I think I'm kinda boring since I don't measure time in 2 weeks. Without ovulation, my time is "wait for RE appt, wait for approval, wait for drugs, go thru procedures, wait for result". It generally takes much longer that a month and I really don't have much influence over it.

My dd asked for a "little baby" for Christmas...she then always adds that she wants a "BBBIIIGGG baby for Mommy" as well. It's so sweet, but now it makes me almost want to cry and she hasn't stopped saying it, even though Christmas is over. If only Santa would have listened to her...

Oh, and I too am stuck with bringing dd to my appointments. I try and keep her as quiet as possible and stand in the back corner when other ladies are there. I also make sure I don't scold her because I don't want to upset the other ladies anymore than I already do.
Hi there -- our posts crossed, so I wanted to make sure to say hello to you. I'm really glad everyone in Infertility has been so supportive. Regardless, short of hiding my signature permanently in this forum, I can't in good conscience post on the regular threads here; I know I wouldn't want someone like me chiming in, it would be hard to read.

Hearing our children ask for our dearest-held desires is really hard, isn't it? It's all the more poignant and all the more heart-breaking.

I'll be rooting for your next IVF; please be sure to let us know when it's approaching!

Guin

caffix.giftoddler.gifnocirc.gifBusy, grateful mama to: Kieran (12); Hanna (10); Cameron (8);
Charlotte (6);Sophie (5) Down Syndrome & so beautiful! brokenheart.gif(9/08), & rainbow1284.gifDuncan 8/26/09
Guinevere is offline  
#20 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 01:50 PM
 
Perdita_in_Ontario's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada's National Capital Region
Posts: 1,931
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here too... see some familiar names of course. DD is now 3.5 and was conceived through IVF with ICSI - we have no chance of a natural conception due to massive MF problems. We did 2 unsuccessful IVF cycles last year and will be trying one last time in the spring.

I weaned DD earlier this week (we did the two cycles while she was nursing) in preparation for this last cycle, just in case it was the reason that embies didn't implant last cycle (our embies all arrested before transfer on the first cycle last year).

If this cycle does not work we will likely move to domestic adoption - we were very 50/50 about whether to do this cycle but we did want to give it one more chance - while there is still space on our line of credit...

Secondard infertility is no easier than primary - different but not easier. I'm sorry we're all here.

Perdita - newly SAHM to DD July/05 & DS Feb/10 joy.gif
Perdita_in_Ontario is offline  
#21 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 03:54 PM
Dea
 
Dea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristin0105 View Post
Thanks for starting (or reviving) this thread. I just turned (gulp) 43 Monday and we have been trying for #2 for over a year. I have a beautiful, brilliant, wonderful, greatest child ever 3 year old daughter who I love more than anything else in the world. I really, really, really want to have another baby. She really, really, really wants us to have a baby. But it just does not look possible at this point. I had some blood tests done in May and my FSH was 12.? so a little high and the fertility specialist was all doom and gloom. I immediately set up an appointment with an acupuncturist/TCM doctor and began treatment and a bunch of supplements. By October my FSH was down to 7.1 but alas here it is January and I am still not pregnant. With my dd I got pregnant as soon as I said lets have a baby. And I think that makes it soooo much harder. Because I went into the lets get pregnant thinking this could take months, I'm 38 years old maybe I can't get pregnant. 6 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. So this time it's been a real shock that it's just not happening and might not ever happen. I would consider IVF in a heart beat and would even do donor eggs if need be. Yesterday, I even looked up IVFvacations.com But my husband is against interventions. He is unwilling to spend the money. I feel like every month that goes by my chances of having one more little lovey gets a lot less likely. It's so hard. I wish I hadn't waited so long to have my little sweetie. I'm mad that he would put a price tag on something so priceless. And I'm so sad for my dd who asks me every week when are we going to have a baby. I'd consider adoption but dh was just laid off so I think (I am just guessing here) that we will have to wait a year from the time he gets back to work before they would consider us. Sorry to be such a downer. I've been feeling a little blue the last 2 days it's totally unlike me. But I think it's a sign AF is on her way soon that and all the other stressors. Okay, pity party over lets get back to work..

I hope everyone's stay here is short and 2009 brings peace to all of us.

I agree! It's not fair to put a pricetag on something so wonderful, but on the other hand... it's even more not fair that I have to pay so much money to have a child... but that's another rant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
I'll join in. I have PCOS and don't ovulate at all. DD took 18 months of trying and one miracle month of clomid. No period since her birth. I didn't respond to clomid when trying for #2, so we had to do ivf. IVF#1 resulted in twins, lost at 12 weeks. IVF #2 should be this february.

I've found everyone here to be so supportive of me. I try not to mention my dd much when posting in this section, because I know how hard it was when we were trying to conceive her.

I concur with not posting in ttc after a loss. It is so different with infertility and it takes much more time.

I also don't post much in ttc. I think I'm kinda boring since I don't measure time in 2 weeks. Without ovulation, my time is "wait for RE appt, wait for approval, wait for drugs, go thru procedures, wait for result". It generally takes much longer that a month and I really don't have much influence over it.

My dd asked for a "little baby" for Christmas...she then always adds that she wants a "BBBIIIGGG baby for Mommy" as well. It's so sweet, but now it makes me almost want to cry and she hasn't stopped saying it, even though Christmas is over. If only Santa would have listened to her...

Oh, and I too am stuck with bringing dd to my appointments. I try and keep her as quiet as possible and stand in the back corner when other ladies are there. I also make sure I don't scold her because I don't want to upset the other ladies anymore than I already do.
We sit in the far away part of the office with her and keep her busy so that she's quiet... but I still feel bad, but we have no where else to take her, I have a lot of appointments and I can't rely on my friends for all of them. I do the same as you instead of the 2WW... with Trixie it took 21 days of injections, so the 2 week pre O and the 2WW are totally lost on me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinevere View Post
Morning, everyone -- how are you doing today? Anyone have any appts., etc? I have acupuncture later on this morning, and just began adding all those new supplements into my routine today -- I feel like a walking medicine chest now, ugh!



Hugs to you, mama. I hope you get some answers soon. Sometimes I feel like I'm just randomly shooting in the dark, with all the things I'm trying. I don't really know if any of it will work, but it feels better than doing nothing, yk? I'm too much of a control freak to just sit back and hope things will improve on their own.



Hey there, Dea -- yep, you officially beat me in surgery count for 08 , although if I'd had Sophie this past year, that would have brought me up to 3. Which would be 3 more surgeries than I'd ever had before in my whole life.
Do you feel that the c-section changed things in your body? B/c I'm increasingly feeling that way. For example, I never used to get pain during O, but since the c/s, I do. And basically all my health issues arose after Sophie's birth, although that may have more to do with my body simply having had "enough" after 5 difficult pg's. It's so hard to know what caused what, yk?

I am sadly uninformed about high-fat dairy, although, like you, I dimly recall hearing the same thing somewhere. Hopefully someone else has the scoop on that.



I think the whole issue of other children/babies around women experiencing infertility is simply a delicate line to walk. And for me at least, it depends so much, too, on where I am emotionally on any given day.

I've had many, many relatives and close friends have babies over the past year while I've been struggling to conceive and sustain another pg. And while I'm still able to be happy for them, it's also a tangible and painful reminder of what I don't have. I don't avoid them, but, for example, I couldn't manage to attend my BFF's baby shower for her latest addition -- it was just too much. Instead we celebrated on our own, in a smaller, less baby-baby-baby-focused setting, which I *could* handle.

I confess that when I hear about someone getting pg, right now it doesn't serve to give me hope, it just feels like, "oh, another one who isn't me." These are not pretty emotions and I'm not proud to feel them, but there it is, the unvarnished truth. And I also know it says far more about me and where I am right now than about them. I need to cope better. I'm working on it, truly.



Welcome, Kristin! (that's my real name, too ) I'm sorry that you and your DH aren't on the same page with regards to interventions. That is really hard. There's a small part of me that is resentful of my DH b/c it took me until my youngest was 2 to persuade him that having another child would be a good idea for our family. But by that time, I had developed all these health issues which have made that goal very difficult. So even though it's not fair and possibly not even true, part of me feels that if I had tried to get pg earlier, I wouldn't have run into all these problems. Sigh. There just seems to be so much guilt and self-doubt that comes along with infertility. I hate it! :

Guin
I have no appointments until the provera kicks in and I have a period, I have been reading about acupuncture and how it can help with post conception too, it's been recommended for the first 3 months... now I just can't remember where I read that.
Have fun!

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
Dea is offline  
#22 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 04:48 PM
 
joyakshi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is it considered secondary infertility if you had a spontaneous pregnancy but lost it early - 6 weeks, and now you can't get pg at all?
It's a kind of an unusual situation because I've had a pregnancy & loss but no baby.
Is it considered secondary IF only if you've actually given birth, or even if you've just had a pregnancy?
joyakshi is offline  
#23 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 04:55 PM
 
SoCaliMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


joyakshi~
Quote:
Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. source--Resolve.org
so no it's not secondary infertility, if you've been ttc for over 1 yr though it's more primary infertility.


Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(10),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
Harlan (11/4/2011)http://www.desertreadingloft.com--Independent Usborne Books Consultant
SoCaliMommy is online now  
#24 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 05:42 PM
 
Julia'sMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by joyakshi View Post
Is it considered secondary infertility if you had a spontaneous pregnancy but lost it early - 6 weeks, and now you can't get pg at all?
It's a kind of an unusual situation because I've had a pregnancy & loss but no baby.
Is it considered secondary IF only if you've actually given birth, or even if you've just had a pregnancy?
Even if it's not technically "secondary", it's still painful. I still think of my 12-wk miscarriage babies as babies. However, this issues of infertility with a living child are different that infertility with miscarriage. Hhmmm...I wonder if that should be a separate thread. If you do make one, I bet we'd be surprised at how many women are like that.

J A with DD1 7/06, lost twins 9/08
DD2 12/09 & DS1 12/09
Julia'sMom is offline  
#25 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 06:45 PM
 
by-the-lake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Northern Wisconsin
Posts: 1,135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey, may I join? I am TTC#3, the first two were without intervention, DS is 11 and DD is 5. Since DD my DH had a life saving operation which cost him his fertility. We are now doing IUI with DI, and the meds have messed up my regular ovulatory cycle. Now I'm on injectibles for our DI. We have not used DI yet, and this month I hyperstimmed!!! So, I wait for AF, and see if any of these nasty follies is going to leave me with a cyst! I am doing accupuncture next Wed (7 DPO) hopefully to ward off any cysts.) Sorry to see you here everyone. I sometimes get the "You already have 2 kids" attitude. Its easy for these people who have some control of thier fertility to pass judgment on me. Fortunatley, most people are not this crass, but still....

Wife to DHluxlove.gif DS 98thumb.gif DD 03flower.gif DS 09 babyf.gifwinner.jpgcd.gifnovaxnocirc.gif

She is here!!! Oct 5th!!!joy.gif

 

by-the-lake is offline  
#26 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 07:35 PM
 
MOMTOALEXIS's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: new york
Posts: 300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey just thought I'd join in with a question. DD is now 10y/o but from my first marriage, I got preg at 21 y/o at literally a half a slip and also had a miscarriage just prior to DD. Both times I got preg on accident. Now I am remarried to the most amazing man in the world and he has no children. Is it still considered secondary infertility for me even though it's a different spouse??????? DD has been asking for a sibling for at least 5 years. But i was in school and trying to make things perfect being I did everything backward the first time. She actually gets mad at me and thinks I just don't want to give her a sibling. I do not want her to know what we are going through. 15months of TTC with 4 failed Clomid cycles, 3 with IUI. We have now started the IVF cycle and I hope so much I could give DH a child and a sibling for DD.
All our tests have come back perfectly fine, SA with slightly low motility but always great for the IUI. They say I have very mild PCOS but no symptoms at all, o every 14 days on my own and AF every 28 days to the tee. It's just so frustrating.

Loving life with DH, DD-8/98lady.gif, & our miracle twins 12/4/10babyboy.gifbabygirl.gif after 3 IVF's and 3 yrs TTC

MOMTOALEXIS is offline  
#27 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 11:15 PM
 
SoCaliMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Southern California
Posts: 4,005
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)


MOMTOALEXIS ~ Yes it's Secondary IF since you've been ttc for over 1 yr without getting pregnant and you already have a child.


Kami(31)DH(35)Alex(10),(4/05) (7/05),Ryker(8)(11/10) 
Harlan (11/4/2011)http://www.desertreadingloft.com--Independent Usborne Books Consultant
SoCaliMommy is online now  
#28 of 141 Old 01-08-2009, 11:56 PM
Dea
 
Dea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by natrualmom View Post
Hey, may I join? I am TTC#3, the first two were without intervention, DS is 11 and DD is 5. Since DD my DH had a life saving operation which cost him his fertility. We are now doing IUI with DI, and the meds have messed up my regular ovulatory cycle. Now I'm on injectibles for our DI. We have not used DI yet, and this month I hyperstimmed!!! So, I wait for AF, and see if any of these nasty follies is going to leave me with a cyst! I am doing accupuncture next Wed (7 DPO) hopefully to ward off any cysts.) Sorry to see you here everyone. I sometimes get the "You already have 2 kids" attitude. Its easy for these people who have some control of thier fertility to pass judgment on me. Fortunatley, most people are not this crass, but still....
I'm interested to learn more about how acupuncture can prevent cysts. Do you have any info about it???

Deadra, Wife to Adam , Mama to Beatrix (02/08), Hudson (01/10), and Mazarine (12/13)
Dea is offline  
#29 of 141 Old 01-09-2009, 01:25 AM
 
joyakshi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Fort Collins
Posts: 566
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Great idea Julia's Mom!
I will do that. It would be nice to not feel so "unusual". It is really painful sometimes to have had a pregnancy and then a loss and no babies and then be dealing with infertility too. Others must be in the same boat, unfortunately.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia'sMom View Post
Even if it's not technically "secondary", it's still painful. I still think of my 12-wk miscarriage babies as babies. However, this issues of infertility with a living child are different that infertility with miscarriage. Hhmmm...I wonder if that should be a separate thread. If you do make one, I bet we'd be surprised at how many women are like that.
joyakshi is offline  
#30 of 141 Old 01-09-2009, 04:57 AM
 
joanq's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 231
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm here too! I'm 32 and as far as we can tell healthy. My cycles are regular, my LP is 14-15 days. I'm a bit overweight, but have good blood sugars, good thyroid, good everything else basic.

We've been trying since March 06 to have child #2. Child #1 was conceived in our 4th month trying. Normal healthy pregnancy, cesarean delivery after much labor because of malpositioning and possible amniotic fluid infection (water was broken for 14 hours).

For the first 6 months or so my cycles were very irregular because of breastfeeding, so we aren't actually "counting" the first year of trying. The second 6 months I appeared to have regular cycles and ovulating, but with 11-12 day LP I am guessing I had Luteal defect.

After my son stopped nursing in July 07 I became pregnant the following month. I lost that baby at 9 1/2 weeks (no known reason). Everything seemed normal after that and I got pregnant again in March 08, but found out a week later that it was (probable) ectopic and was treated with methotrexate.

So now we are on our 7th cycle (and I think AF is arriving in the morning ). We just saw an RE for the initial visit. He is focusing on the miscarriages, while I am like "why the heck am I not pregnant yet!". He wanted to start with repeat mc testing, so far all has come back normal and we are awaiting the genetic tests.

This cycle he wants to do a clomid challenge, to ensure that my "eggs aren't older than I am" and I'm a little nervous about the clomid! I tend to be sensitive to medications and this will be my first step down this path. My OBGYN wouldn't even entertain the thought that maybe there was something going on besides "bad luck".

And I had an HSG after the ectopic, which was good. So the RE said:
1) We know you CAN have a baby.
2) We know your anatomy is good.
3) We know your cycles are normal/you are ovulating regularly.
My OBGYN said my ovaries look very fertile according to midcycle US after the mcs. So I don't know what our problem is. Obviously hoping it is just "bad luck" but we've had a run of it and I don't really want to wait around and see if it changes! I'm not getting any younger and my son is getting older every day too!

WHEW! Thanks! I belong to other boards but always hold back some because I don't want to offend people dealing with primary IF. But I maintain that just because we have kids doesn't mean it is any easier to go through this, just different!
joanq is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off