...but this break was supposed to be my chance to "get healthy!" I don't know quite where to put this.
I am struggling so bad with my body. I am so so angry at it! I am trying to work through that, but in the mean time I'm doing all kinds of self-destructive behaviour - most of all I can't stop compulsively over-eating. We aren't trying again until the end of Sept, or maybe Oct. for logistical reasons, but my acupuncturist is excited to have a chance to "rebalance" my body and overall health. All I'm doing is screwing it up, it feels like, which then ends up making me feel worse and eat more.
I hear about people eating vegan or going sugar-free or cutting out gluten and feeling so much better and healthier. I want to do that, do something loving and supportive of my body, but I can't do it for more than a day and then I fall HARD.
I've tried finding an eating support group, I've tried talking about it in individual therapy, I've tried talking to friends about it. I just don't know what to do, and today I am feeling particularly down.
We are still pretty far down on the intervertion ladder: just Clomid and IUIs for now, though we may add a trigger shot next cycle. I just want to feel some sort of love, aceptance, faith in my body. After two chemical pregnancies and well over a year of trying, all I feel [right now] is angry and crappy.
Anyone else been here? And found a way out? Help.
Me + DP + 2 rescue lap dogs = True Love Always