I've been awesome for the last month, which is a total shock, but today the un-awesome is getting to me. The money's running out, the choices are dwindling, and I feel like I've gotten nothing but discouraging news lately.
Leslie, mama to Paige 8, Zara 3 and Audrey, Sophia & Nina June 7/11 @32.6
Oct/01 July/10 Sept/10
We are all hopped up on so many hormonal meds that we get tons of pregnancy symptoms whether we're pregnant or not! It makes the two week wait MADDENING and very frustrating!!!!! I'm going crazy here between the HCG trigger, the mild OHSS, and the Prometrium. Oh, yeah, all the same symptoms could be PMS too, so who the hell knows what's going on. We can't even take pregnancy tests until at least 10 days out, and even then, I can't let myself completely trust a positive until I'm 14dpo.
I'm 6dpo, 8 days past trigger now. I started my Prometrium 4 days ago, and now my nipples are mildly tender and my breasts are a little sore. I wish wish wish it was a pregnancy symptom, but I know it's just yet another side effect from yet another drug I'm taking.
I need a diaper change, I have SERIOUS POOPY PANTS this week. I'm not even trying this cycle!!!!
I'm currently on an endometriosis diet that probably does nothing but involves cutting out most of the foods I think are really delicious and some people eat crack (or whatever they do with crack) and get pregnant.
Also I have to have surgery in a few weeks and I effing hate surgery. But I'm an ass if I don't do it because it might help and it's the only thing our insurance will at least partially pay for.
To top it off, I work with pregnant and postpartum women for my job so I get to be around new moms and babies all day long. Usually I'm fine with it, but sometimes I just kind of want to curl up and cry.
, I hope that your surgery goes really smoothly. And, I don't know how I'd manage in your job without punching a lot of people in the face or crying nonstop.
I'm lucky enough to have insurance paying for my treatments now, but that wasn't the case with my daughter. We put ourselves into serious debt to have her. I've also dealt with some really insensitive, downright stupid comments from "friends". Before I was pregnant with my daughter, a friend who knew what I was going through called me up gushing about her new pregnancy, and then insisted that I do all of her pregnancy footwork for her because "reading bad stuff on the internet makes me scared". So not only was she pregnant, but she wanted me to research pregnancy and babies for her because she was too lazy/dumb/insensitive/whatever to deal with it herself.
Good luck with your surgery!! It's never any fun, but if it can help that's a good thing.
One of my dearest friends just told me she's 13wks; and she expected to have lots of trouble conceiving due to a history of very weird irregular periods and PCOS, along with being 34, but no, it happened very fast. So I felt like an awesome friend bawling at this news. It's not her, it's just me.
It seems so unfair, and makes me feel really alone and broken. Like, I'm healthy, eat a good diet, am a normal weight, don't use any substances, not even coffee, and ...... nada. I'm not a big ovulator, I guess. Wah.
It's good to feel less alone. Thanks for that.
add to that a vaguely reeking of pay-cut notice from work and a huge helping of homesickness in the wake of talking with my sister this afternoon, and the fact that we spent yesterday afternoon at the far away after-hours dental clinic because poor dd knocked loose a tooth during her first event at the track and field day she had been looking forward to for weeks, and I am wiped out and knocked down.
okay, that helped. I expect I sound horribly meladramatic, but I am feeling thoroughly beaten and appreciate the chance to let it out - even better to do so to people who might understand a little. a rare gift, that.
I'm throwing my own pity party and you are all invited. Stupid stupid stupid infertility and bfn's and cramps and thyroid problems and AAAGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to go stuff my face with chocolate and wine.
@hereweare I went back checked all the ladies who previously posted to this thread. All but two managed to get pregnant and have given birth since starting this thread. Although wallabi hasn't been online in almost 2 years, so no idea if it ever worked out for her. I still want to join the pity party anyways. Thyroid issues and not ovulating issues aside, it's just so incredibly frustrating.
Me (34) (PCOS), DH (36) and DD1 (4) and DD2(1). We are going to go for a third. Now, will we succeed?
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