~~~~~~~~~~*JUNE* 2011 INFERTILITY ONE THREAD~~~~~~~~~~ - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 07:46 AM
 
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HSG is scheduled for Friday. I have suddenly gotten quite nervous. Does the tech show you results, or do you have to wait for a doc to look at them? Did it hurt? They told me to take 800mg IBU before the test. I haven't yet seen the order, but they also said I need a strong antibiotic to rule out infection. Did any of you who've been through the HSG do both the IBU and antibiotics?


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#122 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 12:39 PM
 
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Hey Rosie, I'm scheduled to do a telephone consult with Dr. Widra. I think he's in the DC office. My friend from NY who received IVF there said that she never even met Dr. Widra but she liked his plan of action (of course, she got pregnant on the first try!)

:o)

 

I am really down a lot of the time and I also get annoyed sometimes when I see people who are pregnant. Even though I'm so happy my friend just received the news that she's pregnant, i was depressed for myself and my DH too. It's a major roller coaster ride! I also feel like I'm much more moody now. It's 10dpo so who knows...perhaps AF is coming early. At the least, I just want it to hold off until 12dpo, since that's an acceptable LP length. I will test tomorrow because on the small chance I'm pregnant (and test positive) then I can cancel the telephone consult I have on Friday. I'm still not optimistic but whatever. I will have to say that I have a lot of friends and coworkers who are pregnant or who have recently given birth. I oooh and ah over the photos and say all the right things while my heart breaks a little each time. I guess what gets me through it is that I I think about how much I like the people and what good parents they are. It doesn't make me less depressed overall but it helps me get over the initial sadness.

 

Rosie, have you ever had an endometrial biopsy done? I felt like the hsg was on par with that. Meaning, it was darn uncomfortable and it felt like bad cramps but it really stops hurting pretty soon after the procedure is done. I took naproxen (aleve) and I'm a big baby about pain (and they didn't let my DH come in with me) but it really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It's not fun...believe me, I'd rather have done something else! But it's manageable. The doctor told me right after the procedure what the results were. "Unofficially" of course. But I was happy to find out so quickly.


Attempted induction at 38 weeks; ended up with a c-section.

In love with my baby boy Colin and baby girl Sienna!

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#123 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 02:41 PM
 
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Haven't had an endo biopsy yet. I've lied to my practitioners about how long we've been trying. Except for possibly short LPs, I don't currently have a reason to believe I'm subfertile, because it's only been 6 months and DH is subfertile. So, I'm pushing to get all the initial tests done so we know what we're dealing with. I'm mostly nervous that they'll find nothing wrong with me. If we can't get pregnant because of his sperm, it's pretty much straight to IVF+ICSI, but insurance doesn't cover it. Earliest I could get new insurance is January and legally in MD they have to cover IVF after 2 years of infertility. According to my charts that's March 2012. 

 

Furthermore, I've been reading studies on sperm morphology. Apparently large heads (DH's specific dominant abnormal form) are indicative of chromosomal problems in the sperm, even in the normal forms. This leads to really bad live-birth statistics for abnormal sperm even with IVF+ICSI due to miscarriages. 

 

Yep, I'm nervous. I'm working myself up though. Could be that DH gets sent to a urologist for a varicocelotomy, could be what we just spontaneously get pregnant, could be that something's up with my tubes and the HSG clears it out, who knows. I hate not knowing. 


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#124 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 03:51 PM
 
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I have only told a couple of the family members, I'm not sure I want all of them to know.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#125 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 03:53 PM
 
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The other reason I don't want to talk about our struggles with everyone is that I am afraid it will put a damper on their happiness. I'll think about it though.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#126 of 149 Old 06-29-2011, 04:44 PM
 
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Okay, after talking with my mom (who is also a social worker), I have decided that you are all right. I will be up-front about everything. I may have even had my consultation by then. We are getting together July 31-August 7. I am almost positive we will be going to Conceptions.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#127 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 05:29 AM
 
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Rosie-I had an hsg, but I was under general anesthesia (Not just for that) I've heard that it can be anywhere from feeling no pain/discomfort whatsoever, to really horrible. My experience here wouldn't help you a bit, so I'll save you that. Do your best to relax (I know, I know) but the more relaxed you are, the less your body will tense, and the less pain there should be. Ask your doctor if there is something they might could give you before hand. Especially if you're very nervous.

Praying for you!
 


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Praying for God to bless us again!

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#128 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 07:37 AM
 
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Good luck Deborah. It also helps to come on the board to vent. We're here for you. Speaking of which...

 

I think I'm out this month. My temp crashed this morning. I'm now waiting for my AF to come. It's so depressing, especially now that I have the LP defect to be concerned with (today is only 11dpo). Sigh. It's been a bad morning. Oh well. At least it's a holiday weekend. Of course, we're supposed to be going out with friends and their babies. I'm seriously considering not going. I'm also dealing with insomnia so I know that my depression is compounded with exhaustion. But it's still hard to get out of the funk. I'll just be here breathing and trying to think of all the good things in life.

 

In case I don't sign on again, Happy 4th of July! I hope you ladies enjoy!!!

 


Attempted induction at 38 weeks; ended up with a c-section.

In love with my baby boy Colin and baby girl Sienna!

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#129 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 08:31 AM
 
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Good luck deborah. Here's hoping your family will be as gracious and loving as they can be. In regards to putting a damper on happiness, I think family and close friends are there partially to support you. It's possible to be happy for someone (or yourself) while simultaneously being supportive of someone else going through something hard. In polite gatherings maybe we should withhold our raw and trying emotions, but I think with family and close friends it's good to let it out. With good relationships, it binds you closer and provides support and extra love. At least that's what's supposed to happen. 

 

zanelee - Thanks for the suggestion. They told me to take 800mg of ibuprophen before hand. Of course, I'm really against taking any NSAIDs around ovulation because it can cause unruptured follicle syndrome (where LH, cm and temps LOOK like your'e ovulating, but you don't). Of course, there aren't many studies on humans, just a couple in addition to lots of animals, so most docs don't think about this. Much less the radiologist. Sigh. I'm sure many women have gotten pregnant right after lots of ibuprophen and an HSG. I have percocet left over from my post-LASIK complications...maybe I should use that instead. 

 

renavoo - I hope the funk doesn't last. The 4th is my favorite family holiday! Good luck if you decide to go out with friends and their babies. I'll be hanging out with my three year old cousin's son, her 5-month old fetus, and another cousin who's 1.5 years into trying. It'll be an interesting mix this year. 

 

I want to say THANKS to you guys. I've been on a rollercoaster and though new and not trying for as long as I could be, you guys welcomed me here and help ally my fears and let me talk it out. I appreciate each of you very much.

 

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Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#130 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 08:54 AM
 
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Oh Renavoo, I so had my fingers crossed for you this month.  hug2.gif  I don't chart (I know, I know...) how long after your temp drops does AF typically come?  Hopefully, if she does come, she holds off a few days so you don't have to worry about having a short LP.  Good luck with your breathing and thinking about all of the good things in life!  What a great attitude to have in the face of disappointment!

 

Deborah - I just wanted to chime in and say I agree with the others' advice.  Of course all family's are different, but I have found that being open and transparent about what I'm going through and how I'm feeling helps me avoid misinterpreting other people's comments and gives others the chance to consider and react to how I might be feeling.  You don't always get the response you want, but at least it helps other people understand why your reaction may not be the reaction they were expecting.  Because that's just what it is - their expectations.  That doesn't mean that's how you're supposed to react or how you're supposed to feel.  You have a right to feel the way you do and maybe they'll be able to empathize and support you by being aware of your situation.  I hope you have a great 4th and are able to relax and enjoy your time with your family.

 

I am soooo ready for this long weekend!  DH and I are heading up the family cabin alone (for the first time EVER!)  Typcally weekends at the cabin are a little stressful, as I usually spend them cooking and caring for my Nana who has Alzheimer's.  I'm so excited to do some hiking with DH and the dogs and do some touristy stuff, maybe drive up to Canada for the day, go fishing, etc.  It's supposed to be hot hot hot here in the Twin Cities, but nice and cool up on the north shore of Lake Superior.  Can't wait!

 

I'm (I think) 11 dpo and feeling a little crampy/icky...was so tired I went to bed at 8:30 last night!  I still have my hopes, but won't be too surprised if AF shows up.  Just called and paid a $400+ Dr. bill and I'm only on round 2 of Clomid!!! I can't imaging what our next phase of treatment is going to cost.  Ugh.  Insurance companies suck. 


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#131 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 09:21 AM
 
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Thanks everyone for all your advice and support. I'm feeling a bit better since we are officially scheduled for our consult with Dr. Tiffany Von Wald at Conceptions on July 28. That is perfect timing as we will have an action plan right before we go up to the cabins. I'm hoping that will give me some excitement to go on, rather than sadness watching others. Renavoo, do you have a favorite activity or treat that might perk you up a bit? Not that anything can truly cut the depressed feeling. However, you might get some temporary relief. I usually go to my favorite coffee shop and get my vegan hypoallergenic cupcake with either a chai latte or a regular latte made with almond milk. Our weekend will be very busy as I am performing with the Longmont Chorale on Monday and have rehearsal Sunday. I am also trying to catch up on my writing and volunteer work as well as getting an application in to a potential job.Happy 4th everyone!


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#132 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 10:59 AM
 
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You know what? Every time I've felt really down, you know, in that dark place, I remember what you guys wrote to me - grace. It reminds me of where I can go, when I'm ready to climb out. If that makes any sense! Thank you so much for those words. They are are really staying with me. Tomorrow I find out if the mtx worked - if not, I'll have a second dose.

 

Rosie, I'm not sure about the antibiotics, but in planning for the HSG (which I didn't end up having last cycle, but was going to) the office told me to take a mega dose of ibuprofen. I really didn't want to do that because I rarely take ibuprofen and the two occasions on which I took a double dose, I had terrible stomach pains for days - burning in one spot, kind of like what I'd imagine an ulcer feels like. I have a pretty high pain tolerance so I was considering taking only the regular dose. Please let us know how it goes! I know what you mean about wanting something else to fix. I wonder if IVF+ICSI+PGD might help the outcomes if what you're finding about sperm heads ends up being the case? I know it's not exactly comforting to add yet another pricey procedure to all this, but it is something I've considered (PGD) during my frequent "what if" panic moments, for myself and DH.

 

Deborah, I agree with what the others advised and I'm glad you're feeling better having talked to your mom. I'm at the point where I feel ready to tell people we are having some problems if they ask, because somehow it hurts me more to think that maybe they think we don't want more children. I'm not usually one to care much what others think but for some reason that idea really kills me, that somehow someone would imagine that the thing I want more than anything in the world isn't even important to me. Wishing you lots of strength this weekend - may it be restorative.

 

Renavoo, sending you tons of hugs and good thoughts. Isn't it awful what sleep deprivation does, when we're already susceptible to stress? I'm a fellow insomniac. I have the opposite problem, I can't fall asleep. The night before my final diagnosis with ectopic I didn't sleep all night. That hasn't happened to me in years. I hope that you'll get a good night's sleep soon to help you through this difficult moment. I think it's okay, important actually, to allow yourself to feel the sorrow and anger and whatever else you feel. I find that I have to go "through" it rather than "around" it to get back to a place of hope. You are such a positive person, be sure to also allow yourself to grieve too and not have to be positive, too. I think it will be so good to speak to your new doctor and have a plan. In the meantime, take good care of yourself, okay?

 

LuluRoo, yeah, they totally suck! What a loving person you are to take such good care of your nana. I hope you enjoy every minute of your weekend with DH. We love hiking too! We don't do nearly enough of it, unfortunately. Fingers crossed AF stays far away.

 

Just to follow up on the folic acid issue, I have been reading some interesting stuff (most of it behind university access codes). Folic acid and folate are not the same thing - folic acid is synthetic and as much as 50% of the general population cannot tolerate it very well. These people are heterozygous carriers of the MTHFR mutation (which is implicated in multiple miscarriages, especially in women who are homozygous). In sensitive individuals, folic acid interferes with the body's metabolism of food folates, compounding the already compromised metabolism of folate. My personal decision is to seek out a food-based supplement that has folate rather than folic acid in it and avoid any enriched foods (which I do already). Just in case anyone wanted to look into it for herself, I wanted to briefly mention it.


Me + DH + DS ('07) + after a long and bumpy road, thrilled that our twin boys are finally here (DS2 & DS3, '12)

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#133 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 12:12 PM
 
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Gozal - Thanks for the note about PGD. I guess I knew what it was but hadn't thought about it in this context. Kinda gives some hope. 

 

Also thanks for the folic acid/folate information. I plan to look into it further. Crazy as it sounds, I made a Birth and Pregnancy collection in my Mendeley (like EndNote) archives and I save and catalog most of the studies I read about this stuff. It makes it easier to locate later (including not having to re-sign on to the uni library site), take notes, and I assume it'll help when I start wanting to quote studies to my RE duck.gif. (I know I won't be able to resist.) If you happen to do that or start doing that, a citation would always be welcome here. ;) It's pretty onerous to document research for a forum post where most people can't even access the studies, but public libraries here provide ridiculously good access in some cases. 


Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#134 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 12:16 PM
 
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By the way, my family isn't coming in this weekend they are coming in at the end of July. Also, not that we need more sad news, but I'm having a hard day today. My cat Sweetie passed away in my arms right as we walked into the vet's office.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#135 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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Oh Deborah! I'm so sorry! <HUGS!>

 


Jennifer, Wifey to Stevenwinky.gif, Mommy to Gwhistling.gif and Hfairy.gif. TTC for 5 years.
Praying for God to bless us again!

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#136 of 149 Old 06-30-2011, 02:24 PM
 
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So sorry, Deborah.  My dear kitty passed away a year and a half ago and I was *finally* able to put her ashes in her little urn last week.  Pets are such a huge part of our lives.  My heart goes out to you.  What a comfort to your kitty that you were with her in her final moments, though.  I'm sure she wouldn't have rather been anywhere else.  You'll see her again over the Rainbow Bridge.


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#137 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 11:33 AM
 
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Thanks LuluRoo. I think it will be a bit easier when we get her paw prints and can put a memorial/keepsake box together.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#138 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Any takers for starting a July thread? nod.gif


T-lynn (25) married DH on 28/07/07 partners.gif DD Isla born 28/03/12 diaper.gif TTC #2

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#139 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 04:33 PM
 
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Yes. Are you asking someone else to start it?


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#140 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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If no one minds, I'll start the July thread.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#141 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 04:38 PM
 
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I mean I am going to start it. I hope no one minds.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#142 of 149 Old 07-01-2011, 08:07 PM
 
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Go for it Deborah!

HSG was normal today. I'm actually bummed, because I want to learn something new. Screwy, I know. I don't want morphology to be our problem. I *really* don't.

Married to my favorite man in '07. Our firstborn came along in April 2012 (HBC), and our second is on the way, due sometime in May 2014 (planning an HBAC).
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#143 of 149 Old 07-02-2011, 02:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't think anyone will mind deborah (I don't anyway lol), thanks so much for volunteering! 


T-lynn (25) married DH on 28/07/07 partners.gif DD Isla born 28/03/12 diaper.gif TTC #2

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#144 of 149 Old 07-02-2011, 03:44 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

 

Deborah, I'm so sorry :o( I hope that the last few days have given you a little peace and that you're starting to feel better. What an awful thing to happen. I know that pets will pass away but it doesn't take away the heartache. My dog passed away more than 10 years ago and it still makes me sad. It devastated me so much that my DH fears me having another dog because he realizes how difficult it is for me to get over it. (My apartment complex doesn't allow dogs anyway.). Anyway, just wanted to extend big virtual hugs and let you know that I'm thinking about you.

 

Ladies, thank you all so much for being so supportive. I really don't know what I would do if I didn't have you all to vent to!! I'm feeling a little better, if a little resigned about the fact that I have to go on to IVF. Believe me, I don't mind doing the IVF. I mind spending all the money though. I keep thinking "what if, sometime down the road, we really need that 20K plus and we don't have it because my defective body doesn't let me get pregnant on its own?" Oh well, at least we're getting started quickly! I need to get a day 2-3 ultrasound to check my antral follicle count. I hope to do that tomorrow (I'm counting today as day 1, as it's the first full day of bleeding- that means that I technically made it to day 13! Yah to no LP phase defect! Although I'm still a little worried as I started bleeding yesterday, which was day 12. sigh) :o) My mood swings are legendary in our household. haha

 

Here's my plan...Tomorrow, ultrasound. Birth control pills for 2-3 weeks. Start the injectibles (the doctor said 9-12 days). Hopefully, I can get off work the days that i need to but I'm trying not to worry about that because I know that this is priority. If they try to prevent me from doing this then we'll have a problem and I guess I'll be looking for a new job ;o) I don't think they will do that though. According to the doctor yesterday (had a telephone consult with a doctor from Shady Grove) I have a 40-50% chance per cycle. So let's see how it goes. He'll know better after the follicle count!

 

Rosie, I absolutely know what you mean about wishing the hsg was abnormal. I really wanted to have some answers too!!! I mean, I don't even have my DH's sperm analysis to fall back on...his last one showed excellent results. So I have NO idea what i am infertile and it really annoys me. hehe my DH says I have the "I just have to know NOW" syndrome. :o)

 

Gozal, thank you for the information about folate/folic acid. I will go look for food that's high in folate as well. Luckily, I loooooove spinach salad (yuuum). How are you doing? Have you started the methotrexate? How are you feeling?

 

Anyway, ladies, I know we're going to move on to the next board (thank you Deborah!!) so I will see you there!! big hugs to you all!!


Attempted induction at 38 weeks; ended up with a c-section.

In love with my baby boy Colin and baby girl Sienna!

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#145 of 149 Old 07-02-2011, 09:55 AM
 
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Thanks everyone. Herre is the link to the new thread: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1320038/july-2011-infertility-one-thread.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#146 of 149 Old 07-06-2011, 05:29 AM
 
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I can understand that DHs get stressed too. My DH refused to go a third night last month and it was, of course, the day I O'd. I tried to give him some warning this time and he grumbled. Take comfort in the fact, that the 2 or 3 days before O are actually your prime days since it gives time for the egg to travel down the fallopian tube and meet right on O day (if we're lucky). That doesn't mean I'm not going to insist on quite a bit from DH this cycle, but if I can't get him to cooperate as much as I would like, I can feel a bit better about it.

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#147 of 149 Old 07-12-2011, 11:02 PM
 
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hi renavoo , i m back for my 2ww, and today is my hopeless 1DPIUI....

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#148 of 149 Old 07-15-2011, 12:17 PM
 
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Hi! I am in my 2ww after doing IVF! I am going stir crazy and today is my 3rd day past ET! I am hoping to meet some people who are going through the same here to keep myself busy and from going insane!!

 

Thanks and have a great day!!

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#149 of 149 Old 07-15-2011, 06:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome csangel! You've written in a thread that is no longer active. You can join us at the current thread here: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1320038/july-2011-infertility-one-thread/40#post_16555498. You mentioned you have just done IVF, there is also a thread for ladies doing IVF that you might find helpful: http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1316952/summer-ivf-thread-let-the-sun-shine-through-all-of-usl. I hope you get your BFP soon and in the meantime find all of the support and friendship you're looking for here at MDC love.gif


T-lynn (25) married DH on 28/07/07 partners.gif DD Isla born 28/03/12 diaper.gif TTC #2

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