I went to my regular gyn yesterday to discuss feritility options because of my irregular periods. He did a transvaginal ultrasound and it looked to him like my fallopian tubes are damaged - bilateral hydrosalpinges - and I have cysts. He recommended a laparoscopic surgery to investigate and probably remove the fallopian tubes.
If he does this, my only pregnancy option is now IVF, which hadn't been an option I had previously been willing to consider. Now that would be all that is left as a possibility for pregnancy. Sigh.
I don't know if I want to do IVF. It's expensive (so may not even be an option), and I don't think I could personally do selective reduction or frozen embryos, though I don't object to other people doing so. I just don't think I could?
Pardon my rambling. I think i am just processing the bad news in a community of folks that may have had similar experience. Any wisdom to offer?
Thanks - and all the best to you....
IVF 1/6/13 @10w , FET 5/21/13 @7w, IVF 10/11/13 @5w, FET 2/2/14 @5w
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
Thank you toothfairy2be (cute name!) and artekah! I appreciate it. Lots of emotions, but hanging in there. Trying not to worry about cancer, sad to say goodbye to part of my body... too much unknown right now. But I'm feeling positive this afternoon, that's something! :)
Sending more hugs to you!
I don't want to give you too many unnecessary things to think about at this point, but if you are uncomfortable with the thought and price of IVF and having to selectively reduce or create more embryos than you may use, embryo adoption/donor embryos is an option.
I hope you don't feel I am being insensitive. Embryo adoption has recently become something I am passionate about and I am amazed at how few ppl even know what it is.
Hang on to those positive thoughts :)
Married to my love , Mommy to W ('09) and Doula.
God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13
I don't think selective reduction needs to be a concern with IVF... most IVF clinics will only transfer 2 embryos, are you ok with twins? If not, you can definitely request to only have one embryo transferred. Where I live IVF is paid for by the government and they only transfer one embryo at a time, and the success rates are still very good (43% at my clinic). The crazy stories you hear on the news about sextuplets and stuff usually come from IUI where they have no control over how many of your eggs fertilise, not IVF (with the exception of octomom who was crazy and had a completely irresponsible doctor).
As for embryo freezing, I'm sure you can ask to not have your embryos frozen. I haven't heard of anyone doing this but I really can't think of any reason they would say no to this type of request! Of course given the cost it usually makes sense to freeze any extra embryos you may have so that you save your body and your wallet the stress of doing the ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval many times.
As you learn more about IVF you may find that it's not as scary as you think!
Me (32), married to DH (35)
3 years of TTC #1, M/C @ 6wks in May 2013
Mom to Liliana born May 8 2014
So sorry you're dealing with this. What a shock, I'm sure! Glad you're feeling positive, but I hope you're allowing yourself to grieve too. Even if you do do IVF and have all the babies you wanted to have, your fertility journey is not the "normal" one you probably always assumed you would have, and that is a loss.
Just wanted to chime in with more IVF financing encouragement - many provinces and insurance providers do cover IVF *if* you have completely blocked or missing fallopian tubes, which you do/will. There's often a way...
For greater things are yet to come...
Thank you for the hugs, SilaMarila, and the interesting idea. I'm not ready to think about that yet, but what a great idea.
Sourire and quantumleap, thank you both for such great answers about IVF. I'm definitely grieving the loss of wholeness and "normalness" of my reproductive organs, but I like what you have to say about financing and twins. I would be willing to accept twins.
Do they freeze unfertilized eggs to try and fertilize for the next round?
It does boost my spirits to read your notes and think my journey hasn't ended, and to acknowledge that this is something I have to grieve and process.
ATM i know 3 women who had their babies after the HSG (test where dye is injected through the tubes to check their state of health). The tubes must have been blocked by something, but the tests showed nothing and they all fell pregnant within 6 weeks. So the tests might NOT reveal what the Dr suspects.
And thinking about it I actually know a couple of people who had multiple failed attempts at IVF before being told that removing the fallopian tubes should be considered - in their cases the (already previously diagnosed) ill health of the tubes was making the uterus very inhospitable, the way the body was reacting to the illness of the tubes was also attacking the transferred embryos, preventing successful implantation). I think because they were already using IVF it was less painful for them in their stage of the journey. Anyway both of them became pregnant on the first round of IVF after the tubes were gone, and both of them now have 2 kids (no twins).
I think being given ANY not so great news about one's body can be really confronting. I fall pregnant easily (though have lost 4 of my 7 pregnancies), but i can remember when my thyroid condition was diagnosed (i have Hashimoto's thyroiditis) i was gutted. I just wandered around for days thinking of having to take medication every. single. day. Forever. It was so confronting and awful, i actually didn't want to start taking the thyroxine because i knew i'd never be able to stop. Years later and i look back and smile at that reaction. I take a tiny pill every day so i can feel normal, i take one. I no longer "add" them in my head, or think about how it'd be to not have to take them, or wish i didn't have to any more. I imagine IVF, IF you have to go in that direction, will be that way. Right now it's a big scary process you'd not considered and didn't want. But i'm sure as you go through the process of proper diagnosis and begin to look at your options it will become less so.