October Infertility "One" Thread - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 172 Old 10-23-2012, 03:22 PM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome!

 

SilaMarila- We do have similar journeys, and I am fortunate you do not have that experience, it definitely took a toll on my marriage and mothering instinct for a few weeks, and seriously considered seeing someone.  It is not an easy journey but I am now glad that God decided to keep him/her in a safer place.

 

SKJ- I will update you all on Friday :)

 

AFM- I recommend the shots as well. We did Provera after a miscarriage and it took about two weeks before I had AF.

 

PlaneGreen- It is refreshing to know that people are pushing forward for their families no matter how long it is after our TTC journey.

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#122 of 172 Old 10-23-2012, 05:29 PM
 
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Hey everybody. Sorry I've been gone recently. We were at some family's house visiting for the past few days. Anyway, apparently my HSG was normal. 

 

@ plane - I agree it is always super cool to have nice nurse that leaves or looks the other way so you can see your stuff. really neat.

 

@ tooth - Yeah, no worries. I'm definitely not underweight but I'm not really overweight either. Lol. I personally think BMIs are a crock of hoo-hah, if ya know what I mean? 

 

@ milk - That's horrible. Super scary! Hopefully things will get better though.

 

So, yeah. HSG was normal. The hubster has to do another SA because he didn't make it into the lab in time, they thought maybe he'd be alright so they tested that one anyway but they want him to do another one just in case. Didn't even bother getting those results. So SA number two on Thurs. then hopefully we can get started on the Provera/Clomid beginning Nov. Until then it's just waiting here. Nothing else has happened here. 

 

Hope everyone else is doing good though!

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#123 of 172 Old 10-23-2012, 06:04 PM
 
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First BD of the cycle taken care of thanks to Soprano. Now to try not to stress about maybe only getting sperm every other day. I will go nuts if I don't get enough BDing in with this being a Clomid cycle.

 

Think Fertile Thoughts!!!


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#124 of 172 Old 10-24-2012, 01:15 PM
 
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Numbers didn't double. Going in for repeat beta on Friday. things aren't looking good.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#125 of 172 Old 10-24-2012, 01:30 PM
 
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Hugs SKJ hug2.gif Thinking of you...


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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#126 of 172 Old 10-24-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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Thanks Sila. I hate this waiting. I feel like the odds of this working out are so slim. I just wish I could fast forward to Friday so I can find out what's happening. And, I'm so torn on what to do next. Do I trust that my body can do this on its own, or do I forge ahead with injectibles like I was planning to do if this month was a BFN? I don't want to waste any more time TTC. I was so excited to have DD almost exactly 3 years older than #2 and now I have to likely kiss that wish goodbye.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#127 of 172 Old 10-24-2012, 04:36 PM
 
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Oh, skj! Waiting is the worst. Thinking of you, and sending good thoughts.

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#128 of 172 Old 10-24-2012, 09:10 PM
 
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brichole - thank you! the results were good.
Grow follies, grow!

 

darla - I am so sorry for your loss. I hope your stay here is short (because you get your BFP) and that we can support you and cheer you along!

 

Sila - glad the shot worked, but I'm sorry the scheduling isn't working out the way you were hoping for.

 

skj - thank you for understanding. That is great advice and I will try that forsure. Thank you.
I'm so sorry. Sending good thoughts to you. I hope Friday shows much better news.

 

planegreen - so sorry about your BFN. I hope that your next cycle works out much better. Enjoy your relaxing month off! It is nice to get a break from the constant stressing and scheduling.

 

amber - I hate how there is so much waiting involved! I hope all your results show up with great results.

 

Stevi - sending lots of fertile thoughts to you.

 

 

AFM - just gave myself my second Lupron injection. I am slowly feeling much less nervous about things. I always get this way when starting new medications and I absolutely hate it. Thankfully I've already been on Gonal-F, only thing is I'll be starting on 250 instead of 50. Eek! Everything looks good though. 13 follies on each side, and a cyst left over from last cycle. I am hoping and praying that this works because that $8700 bill I paid yesterday is just the start. Why do fertility treatments have to be so expensive? I am terrified of having to spend our entire savings on IVF treatments.

Aside from the meds, last night was hard. I am a Spark leader (like Girl Guides for 5 and 6 year olds) and one of my co-leaders had her first baby last November. She's pregnant again and not happy about it because her kids will only be 15 months apart (she's quite far along but is just announcing it). It's hard because she's not happy so I don't know if I should be happy for her. I know this is hard on her, but selfishly I am so angry that she got pregnant again without even trying and it is so hard for us here. Why couldn't that one go to one of us? We also had enrolment night last night so a lot of the parents were there and one girls' mom had just had a baby and another is fit to burst any moment. I did my best to just focus on the girls and enjoy the night, but it was hard to deal with all the baby stuff after having to go through a class on how to prepare and inject myself with medication for IVF. Infertility sucks so hard!


Nikki crochetsmilie.gif, partner to Jeremy guitar.gif. Baby Joshua Nolan is finally here after a many year struggle with infertility. I blog at www.loliecraft.blogspot.com. dog2.gifcat.gifhamster.jpghamster.jpg

 

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#129 of 172 Old 10-25-2012, 09:29 AM
 
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Hi Friends! Delurking to respond to Cait and Haurelia.(Thanks, by the way, Cait. [Blushing]) I'm way behind the ball here. Cait is right. NAC is great for PCOS. Haurelia, your supplement list looks great for the PCOS woman! Also, another study was just released that demonstrated that inositol throughout pregnancy significantly reduces the chances of a PCOSer getting gestational diabetes. They compared a group of women taking inositol throughout the pregnancy and another group of women that stopped taking Metformin after the first trimester, which is standard procedure. Another reason to take it!

 

SKJ - I hope that little bean continues to fight and grow! Best of luck tomorrow!

 

Planegreen - I'm just coming off my second IUI with Femara, a trigger, and progesterone. BFN. Suck. Let's hope the third times a charm for the both of us. Shit. For ALL of us.

 

Hello to the new ladies! I'm a lurker that pops up every once and a while to say hi! 


Me (33) + Him (34) = US 10.3.09

Trying to conceive since 1.6.11.  Diagnosed as phlegm stagnant with PCOS and a blocked tube.

First loss on 3.5.12. Second loss on 5.19.12. Cautiously optimistic that the 3rd time really is a charm. EDD 8.7.2013.

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#130 of 172 Old 10-25-2012, 01:32 PM
 
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So, lots of good news from my follow-up today with a couple minor issues/inconveniences. The good news is that I continue to defy the odds- She's never seen egg quality go up this significantly and has the same hypothesis I do that my pregnancy gave me that chance. Also, I don't have to do DHEA this year! The sad news- I do have to do PIO this time. Not looking forward to welts, but happy to do anything to increase my chances of a pregnancy occurring that is healthy and goes full-term. If any of the PIO ladies have advice for dealing with it, please let me know.

 

They may have me do a Lupron protocol but given my previous experiences she's thinking of having me repeat the Gannirelix (since I responded well to it last year). She also plans on having me on the baby aspirin and Lovenox by transfer time so we have that support during the Luteal phase and I will see an MFM along with the RE as soon as I'm pregnant. I also told her about the fat discrimination issues and the body image issues it has caused and she was super supportive and told me that she thinks I look good (I love doctors that listen and are encouraging!). 

 

Sad/inconvenient parts- DH's morphology went down 7%. It's still okay for IVF but not great so I have to break the news to him that he actually has to do something this year. He can just drink a vitamin powder twice a day though so if he complains I'll just say, would you like to be in my shoes? Other possibly bad news- the clinic closes for Christmas in December so if I don't get my period by November 30, I'll have to wait until January. It wouldn't be the end of the world and nothing wrong with a nice way to start the new year, but since we've already delayed things a month, I'd prefer to do my retrieval/transfer in December.So, everybody, this is going to sound nuts, but please root for a super short cycle for me this month! Related to that is that my RE is leaving the practice so I'd have to see one of the other doctors. The good part is there is one that I think is phenomenal and has an incredible warmth that radiates from him so I'd be thrilled to switch to him. That also would mean meetings would be in a more convenient location. I can't think of anything else, so I hope you enjoyed this novel.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#131 of 172 Old 10-25-2012, 04:57 PM
 
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Quote:

Originally Posted by SilaMarila View Post


TickleToes - Gad the Clomid was better this time! It can sure be a bitch! Great sperm count too! I have been pleasantly surprised with how many people I have noticed posting pregnancy and infant loss month things on facebook. I feel like the awareness is growing, or at least in my circles. I totally thought today was the day to light candles (I was thinking today was going to be the 15th)...I've been thinking about my babies a lot today. Especially since my last loss was so recent. I'm thankful to have you here. I feel like we are in similar situations.

 

 

I do find it comforting to know there are other people who understand what I might be going through from time to time. And I agree that I think awareness is beginning to spread. I've found talking about it makes it so much easier to handle than bottling it up inside.

 

 

Milkshake - I am so sorry that your recovery has been so harsh and scary. I hope you are feeling a bit better. Take good care of yourself.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SKJ2011 View Post

AFM - I asked the nurse not to tell me the specific numbers of my beta today. She just said that things are looking great and to keep on with the crinone. Next beta is Wednesday. Please let me know if I shouldn't be updating here. I'm still very scared of how this will go, but I get it if you guys don't want to hear about these details.

 

SKJ - Please keep updating here. I was in your shoes with my last pregnancy. The waiting between betas is absolute hell and I think it is helpful to be able to find support from a group you trust. I hope your numbers are much higher tomorrow. Sending you positive thoughts. hug.gif

 

 

AFM - I'm waiting. I hate waiting. That's all I've got today. Oh! I did discover yoga though and am loving it! I swear the yoga instructor is conspiring with my therapist - each class he has some kind of theme that she would approve of. Yesterday, it was all about grounding oneself so your thoughts don't control you.


Early childhood teacher TTC #1 after 3 early losses ribbonpb.gif.ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Tickletoes

My blog: http://mappingoutmotherhood.blogspot.com/

 

 

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#132 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 07:53 AM
 
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Waiting for blood draw. Positive thoughts appreciated.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#133 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 12:42 PM
 
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Well, I'm still in slow rising beta limbo. My hcg went from 252 to 373. I need to go in again on Monday for another blood draw, but the nurse said to prepare for the worst. I'm just hoping it's not ectopic.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#134 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 03:21 PM
 
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I am so sorry, I was really hoping your levels would be higher. Monday seems so far away. When my levels were rising slowly, the waiting was the worst. I just wanted things to get better or move along and be over with. It's not a fun place to be... stuck between hope and grief. Do you have people to be with you this weekend for support and/or distractions?
 


Early childhood teacher TTC #1 after 3 early losses ribbonpb.gif.ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Tickletoes

My blog: http://mappingoutmotherhood.blogspot.com/

 

 

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#135 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 03:57 PM
 
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Thanks for the understanding tickle toes. How did you situation resolve itself? I'm worried about ectopic or about this dragging on for a while. Just want to prepare myself for what's to come. Sorry you have been here before. it sucks so bad.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#136 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 06:50 PM
 
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Hi everyone.  

 

Amber-Good Luck on your journey. We are waiting to start clomid regime again as well.  Come on November!

 

Stevi- Hope you get to BD tons!

 

SKJ- Thinking of you...hugs

 

Shesaidboom- Thank you for the kind words. I hope we get some good news too.

 

 

So today we went into get our test results and follow up on what we need to do.  Everything was great, and DH SA was high, but my amh levels were higher than they should be, which pointed to pcos, but no other signs were triggering any red flags.  So now we are doing clomid with insimination, and tons of other things which I forgot, as I was trying to hush my 2  year old.  I do appreciate the attention we get at the specialist compared to our old OB, and was a little upset that we wasted 4 months with him.  Trying to be patient, which means engrossing myself with homeschooling our daughter and getting tons of projects done.  We are excited that we may finally have a real chance at being parents again.  

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#137 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 08:28 PM
 
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SKJ - Unfortunately, my experience did end in miscarriage. It was almost two weeks of uncertainty and being really scared of so many things. When it became clear that my betas were dropping rather than slowly rising, I didn't go to work because I teach and didn't think that I could handle miscarrying at work and being stuck in my classroom while waiting for a sub. I think the hardest part of that time was the uncertainty... hope vs grief... and then the fact that even when it became clear that I was going to lose my baby, my body was feeling even more pregnant. My betas dropped below 20 before the miscarriage actually happened, then everything moved along quickly and I was fortunate enough to have it done with a few days later without needing a D&C. I was really afraid of that or the possibility of an ectopic.

 

I'll be in and out all weekend. Please feel free to write if you need to have someone to talk to. Take good care of yourself. I'm thinking of you. stillheart.gif


Early childhood teacher TTC #1 after 3 early losses ribbonpb.gif.ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Tickletoes

My blog: http://mappingoutmotherhood.blogspot.com/

 

 

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#138 of 172 Old 10-26-2012, 09:26 PM
 
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Two days without a donor was not stressing me out as much as it usually would. Although if Soprano had not shown up today, I can imagine I would have been itching for a BD! My temp is really low today, so I may have ovulated today, if not, at least I know I didn't miss it.

 

Everybody have a Reproductive Weekend!


43 w/Emphysema - TTC from 2005 - 2013. 2 miscarriages in 2008. Good things do not come to those who wait.

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#139 of 172 Old 10-27-2012, 04:33 PM
 
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Thanks so much for sharing your experience TickleToes. I"m so sorry you've been down this road before, multiple times. This will be my second m/c and I got the news that things didn't look good on the due date of my last m/c. I've been feeling pretty ok with the outcome this time. I mean, I've had my moments of sobbing. But, much better off than last time.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#140 of 172 Old 10-27-2012, 05:21 PM
 
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Ouch - the double whammy of sad news on a due date. Due dates, in themselves can be rough. I've been sitting here for a while trying to think of something helpful to offer you today. The thing that keeps coming to mind is something that a man from my grief group said to me. "When love has nowhere to go, it comes out in the form of tears."


Early childhood teacher TTC #1 after 3 early losses ribbonpb.gif.ribbonpb.gifribbonpb.gif My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/Tickletoes

My blog: http://mappingoutmotherhood.blogspot.com/

 

 

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#141 of 172 Old 10-27-2012, 08:36 PM
 
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Damnit.

 

I too can't figure out what to say and kept typing then deleting.

 

TickleToes was right and so are you. That sadly some how the 2nd time it is different. That rather than being in limbo and not knowing what is going on, that sadly things feel familiar again. The first time I told no one. Kept it to myself. Now, if it fits into a conversation I feel like I need to tell everyone. It's weird. 

 

Ectopic is also one of my biggest fears. 

 

Take care of yourself.


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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#142 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 07:10 AM
 
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Thanks sila. I hate that you understand. I wish none of us ever had to experience this. It's strange. If I poas, I'm pg, but other than that, I don't feel pg at all.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#143 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 07:40 AM
 
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That was a sign for me, I knew I just felt "too good" after feeling pretty sick for almost a week. 

 

When do you go back? Or are you waiting it out? Feel free to PM me if needed.


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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#144 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 08:55 AM
 
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I go back tomorrow for another blood draw. Hoping for some answers this time. If the numbers are still slowly rising, I think they might do an u/s. I'm hoping the numbers either jumped way up (unlikely) or are dropping.

Have you had 2 or 3 losses?

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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#145 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 10:11 AM
 
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2. Both before 6 weeks.

 

AFM - If I don't hear from my RE about my RPL results tomorrow, I'll call tues. Tomorrow will be 2 wks since they were drawn and they told me up to 2 weeks to get the results. 

 

My lap can't come soon enough. In the 2 months I have suspected I might have endo, my pain has some how doubled if not tripled. And I'm on BCPs right now. From what I have researched, if BCPs don't help with the pain, it's a sign that you most likely have endo. It's only seemed worse since I started them. I hate to complain but it sucks. Like the other night I wanted to have sex (and did), but I was in pain to start with and knew it would only make it worse after (and it did) and that I would pay for it. I can't live like that. I don't tell DH because I don't want him to think he is hurting me. It wakes me up during the night too. That is something Dr's always ask you, if your pain wakes you up during the night. Like this defines it as not only in your head. Ok rant over!


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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#146 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 10:40 AM
 
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Sila- That was exactly how we found out we need to do a lap and check for Endo for me. I'm so sorry  you have to deal with that awful pain. SKJ- I hope you get some answers soon. AFM- My tentative schedule (if I get my period Nov. 14) is retrieval Dec. 12 and transfer 12/17.


Mama to my twin butterfly boys, Alan and Bruce, who passed away at 22 weeks gestation (3/24/12): Forever in Our Hearts. Our rainbow baby girl, my little bud of Hope,  joined our butterfly boys and Grandma Jan 1/31/13 at 9 weeks gestation. Love you so much. Next step: triadadopt.jpg
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#147 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My cycle was cancelled before it even started. I have cysts. Not sure how many or how big or anything else. I just know I have to go back at my next period and they will check again. This process is exhausting. I just wanted this to happen before the end of 2012 and now we are certainly looking at the end of January. I'm so sad.


C + B + 10y together, 6y married, 5y TTC endometriosis, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, 4 miscarriages
IVF x3, FET x3 & IVF wPGD FETx1 gave us our miracle twins (and 4 frosties)
Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.
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#148 of 172 Old 10-28-2012, 07:14 PM
 
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toothfairy - so sorry to hear that.  I wish patience for you!  (I mean like wishing you good luck, I wish you patience... hope that makes sense...) 

 

Sila - Ouch!  Getting woken up in the middle of the night by pain would be horrid.  Also, I totally get what you mean about not telling DH.  I am the same way about that stuff. 

 

SKJ - Best of luck to you tomorrow.  Waiting around really stinks.  Like Sila said, (and I've only had 1 mc) I thought I felt too good after being sick for a couple of weeks. Let us know what you find out, we are here for you either way! 

 

AFM - CD6 here.  Nothing much to report.  DH wants to BD but AF keeps showing up occasionally.  I wish she would either be over or be here.  Spotting is uncomfortable and annoying!! 


Me - 31, DH - 35, DD#1  11, DD#2  6     MC  2/11    MC  1/12 DS#1 3/14
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#149 of 172 Old 10-29-2012, 08:27 AM
 
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Deborah - Thanks. So exciting that things are happening so soon for you! 

 

Cait - Suckety suck! Why do they think you have cysts? They saw them on u/s? (Sorry I'll lurk on the IVF thread if you already mentioned it) I hope they shrink away by next cycle. We're looking at next yr too (lap end of Nov, then at least one "recovery" off cycle). Last Christmas I wanted to be pg by this Christams...and the one before that. Hang in there. Do something nice for yourself.

 

Planegreen - Gah my AF was like that this month too! I think my body was confused by the progesterone shot. I always give in and BD before AF is fully over which makes her last even longer! I didn't realize you had a loss too. So sorry. I hope this next one is it for you.

 

SKJ - You have been in my thoughts. Update when you are ready.

 

AFM - Hoping to hear from my RE with my blood work results today.


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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#150 of 172 Old 10-29-2012, 10:00 AM
 
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Sila - Ugh. I hate the waiting. It just totally adds to the stress of IF. And being on bcps just seems so wrong when all you are trying to do is have a baby! I hope you get some answers with the blood work. It would be nice to have a problem with an easy fix. And, I really hope the lap can help with the pain you are having. That sounds awful.

PlaneGreen - Sorry that AF isn't being straightforward! This past month, I had a normal 5 day AF. Then, one or two days without any bleeding, then she came back for a day or two. Super, super annoying. But, hey, I got a BFP that month, so maybe her being annoying is a good sign? All this expericence has taught me is that you really never know which month is going to be the lucky one.

Deborah - yay for getting going so quickly!

TF - hugs friend. I'm so frustrated for you.

AFM - Just twiddling my thumbs while I wait for the call. Should hear in the next 2-3 hours. Thanks for all your support over the last few days. I'm feeling very zen about everything. I guess I've come to terms with the loss.

S (35yo) wife to T (36yo) and mamma to my princess M (5/10/10).  After 3 losses in 2012, found an AMAZING doctor and gave birth to baby sister S on 11/12/13.
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