Did you get a BFN through IVF,FET, or some other assistance? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 02-12-2013, 08:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I recently got a bfn and was looking for others who recently did. Not a vent spot but just a place where we can offer support from each other. And sure would be nice to know what you are doing to get ready for the next round and when?

 

I recently had a FET two weeks ago and got a bfn on Friday. I feel so many emotions. Devastated??? I have been so bummed these last few days. Having a hard time shaking it. I haven’t started my menses so maybe there’s a build up. I will be calling the nurse today.

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#2 of 18 Old 02-14-2013, 02:55 PM
 
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Bumping up for more input.  I know there are others out there who have been in the same boat.




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#3 of 18 Old 02-14-2013, 04:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i know..that's what i was thinking....i was starting to feel a bit chilly standing alone. thanks for the bump!

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#4 of 18 Old 02-15-2013, 09:42 AM
 
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TracyAmber, I was a surrogate via IVF. First transfer went great and had a healthy baby girl. I worked with the same family again and we transferred for her sibling on her first birthday. We transferred 3 'perfect' frozen 2pn that were grown out to blasts. Everything should have been just right.....but we had a failed transfer. It did feel devastating. I think more so than just the 'generic' 2ww, because you KNEW there were blasts that were good. You knew they were fertilized and there....but they just couldn't make it in your womb. I also felt awful, because of the costs involved in the attempt. The parents were great. This was their bfn as we got pg right away with the first one (she had no uterus, so had never been able to even try getting pg). I do think once you get your period, you'll feel a little better....able to move on start planning your next cycle. 

Hugs mama, and good luck. Be gentle on yourself, and it's okay to grieve! 


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#5 of 18 Old 02-15-2013, 01:20 PM
 
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Hi tracyamber ...

I had a failed FET when we first tried to get pregnant again when my older child was about 18 months old.  We transferred two very healthy embryos, which had developed beautifully after being thawed.  

I was SO SURE that I was going to be pregnant with twins that I spent the tww figuring out how to manage financially and what kind of vehicle we'd need.  I'd gotten pregnant with our first FET right away, and was pregnant with twins until ten weeks, so I just assumed that it'd be that easy. 

I waited until 11 dpo to POAS, and it was blatantly and unsentimentally negative.

I was devastated.

And surprised.

And pissed off.

And hurt.

And disappointed.

And embarassed (for being so nonchalant.)

We tried again the next cycle, with the last of eleven embryos (the first five were used by the folks who we adopted the remaining six from), and that became our youngest.  We got the BFP on my older child's second birthday.

I know the sorrow and heartache that an assisted cycle that fails brings.  

Hugs mama.  It's hard.  

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#6 of 18 Old 02-15-2013, 02:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can relate to all of those feelings. It's been a long week but much better now. and i did get my period today! ahhh!

we are going to do another fet in april...

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#7 of 18 Old 02-19-2013, 01:21 PM
 
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Tracyamber I had 3 fresh embryos transferred & had blood test today. Out was negative, the devastation is almost unbearable. I still have hope & faith that one day I will become a mommy. Stay strong, my heart goes ot to you!
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#8 of 18 Old 02-19-2013, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wannabemomi

hey i just read your post on the winter thread. i am so sorry to hear about your negative. that really sucks. it is devastating! many emotions come to the surface..at least for me it did. take things slowly and be gentle with yourself. glad you still have hope. i guess hope is what keeps all of us going. post or pm me if you want to talk.

best

tracyamber

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#9 of 18 Old 02-21-2013, 06:52 AM
 
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Tracyamber, yes you are right about the emotions. I have cried myself to sleep the last 2 nights. There are no words to express my feelings of devastation. Thank goodness I have such a wonderful husband & family who are very sapportive. We also got some great news from our accountant yesterday that we could receive over 50% tax credit back on the ivf. That really helps to take the financial burden off, also we will defiantly try another cycle of ivf
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#10 of 18 Old 02-21-2013, 07:08 AM
 
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Sorry. Some how I always hit reply before finishing. Lol.

Tracyamber just to some it up, we are meeting back with the Dr to see when we can try again. Also. Maybe we may both be transferring in April. Keep me updated on everything, many hugs & prayers are going your way! !
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#11 of 18 Old 02-21-2013, 08:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yes we are doing it in april!!!!!!
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#12 of 18 Old 02-26-2013, 09:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wannabemomi View Post

Tracyamber, yes you are right about the emotions. I have cried myself to sleep the last 2 nights. There are no words to express my feelings of devastation. Thank goodness I have such a wonderful husband & family who are very sapportive. We also got some great news from our accountant yesterday that we could receive over 50% tax credit back on the ivf. That really helps to take the financial burden off, also we will defiantly try another cycle of ivf

thanks for the info...we are documenting everything so we can get some ivf tax refund.

how are you feeling?? 

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#13 of 18 Old 02-27-2013, 10:29 AM
 
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Feeling much better but still sad. We are starting back up in March as soon as I get my monthly. The meds have been ordered. I can only hope for the best & leave it in the lords hands.

How are you doing? Where are you in the next cycle? Keep me posted.
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#14 of 18 Old 02-27-2013, 09:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wannabemomi

i know you still feel sad. it takes a bit for it to go away. good thing you have tons of support. i got my menses 9 days after i stopped the progesterone. we have not ordered our meds........but soon. i am on bc pills and just waiting for the next step.

im feeling better...focused now and more determined!

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#15 of 18 Old 03-03-2013, 04:27 PM
 
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I just want to chime in and say I really sympathize with your experience.  We spent a lot of money and hope investing in a vasectomy reversal--there are really good statistics within the year after a reversal but we were not lucky.  Although the reversal was itself successful we now have unexplained infertility probably caused by my hormones.  We chose not to take any additional steps but we felt pretty heartbroken after what we put into the whole process. 


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#16 of 18 Old 03-04-2013, 07:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by littlest birds View Post

I just want to chime in and say I really sympathize with your experience.  We spent a lot of money and hope investing in a vasectomy reversal--there are really good statistics within the year after a reversal but we were not lucky.  Although the reversal was itself successful we now have unexplained infertility probably caused by my hormones.  We chose not to take any additional steps but we felt pretty heartbroken after what we put into the whole process. 

thanks for sharing your story..it really is hard in so many ways.

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#17 of 18 Old 03-12-2013, 04:58 AM
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I have had 5 years of BFNs. Four IVFs, about 10 IUIs, and two canceled IVFs. It sucks. I wasted many good years with IF, and now I am fighting age too (I am 38 now), so it is a loosing battle. It sucks after investing so much energy into something, just to come out empty handed. Sorry.


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#18 of 18 Old 03-12-2013, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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yep,it can be real frustrating. next month..another $5,000 contemplating how many acupuncture appointments we can afford this round in our"fertility budget".

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