How long did you try before discovering infertility? - Mothering Forums
Infertility > How long did you try before discovering infertility?
MamaBrighid's Avatar MamaBrighid 11:36 AM 12-27-2013

Did you try quite sometime before realizing that you were facing infertility issues? Did you/Do you feel infertile?

 

I think am struggling with the idea of infertility, what my definition is of fertility, and how I process it. 

 



Xerxella's Avatar Xerxella 12:19 PM 12-27-2013
I wouldn't call myself "infertile," but I certainly got issues as you can see from my siggie. I think everyone comes to terms with their fertility in their own time. It was only after 4 losses, that I thought I might need some help in this area. And, so now I've had 2 more losses with help! :P

Honestly, if you have time (ie, you're in your 20's or at least under 35) give yourself some time to do whatever feels comfortable to you. Some people want to try naturally, some want to jump right in and there's no wrong answer, just what feels right to you and your partner if there is one.

If you're over 35, unfortunately, you need to make some decisions sooner rather than later. How much do you want children? How important is it to you about how they come into the world? What are you willing to do to get there?

Personally, whatever your age, I would see an RE (a specialist about infertility) and have them run some tests. I would think it's important to know where you stand and then you can make decisions from a position of knowledge.

Good luck in whatever you decide.
NaturallyMo's Avatar NaturallyMo 02:44 AM 12-28-2013

I only recently learned that I have  PCOS but I can't say that I feel infertile. With the exception of period having been MIA for almost 3 months now, I feel practically fine. I contacted my doc because my husband and I have been trying for more than 6 months with no luck (we have a 5 year old son) and I wanted to make sure all was well.


cagirlintexas's Avatar cagirlintexas 11:18 AM 12-28-2013

We never did the unsucessful TTC thing.  My periods started late at 15 and were never regular.  I am still shocked I didn't get diagnosed in high school when my period lasted for a whole month with severe bleeding.  Went to the doctor and there solution was always birth control.  They never helped me.  When I was older and they stopped completely they still didn't care because I didn't want to get pregnant yet.  I knew I wasn't ovulating so when we wanted to get pregnant we went right in to the doctor for infertility treatment.  There was no way I was going to try at something I knew I wasn't going to be successful at.  Still frustrated that they blow women off unless they want to get pregnant. 


PoorUglyHappy's Avatar PoorUglyHappy 03:38 PM 12-28-2013

Well.... I guess I knew I was infertile long before TTC.  I got married at 18 and I watched many of my girlfriends throughout our 20s get pregnant by accident.   I wasn't more or less careful than they were with birth control.  I never once was pregnant. I went for 3 years without using any birth control at all before TTC, I guess we were not trying/not preventing.  My periods are like clockwork.  When we finally started TTC after 11 years of marriage, I suspected difficulty early but first I went and did acupuncture and the natural route for almost 2 years. The acupuncturist told me my cycles were perfect and she just needed to strengthen blood flow.  I went gluten/sugar/dairy free for an extended amount of time.   I had all the blood tests done and ultrasounds of my ovaries - everything looked perfect.    After trying for 2 years this way, finally I went to the RE.  My tubes were both blocked.  I had a laproscopy done to investigate.  They found the muscles on my fallopian tubes don't do the work needed to push the eggs through, they are also underformed - the thinnest the doc ever saw.   The blockages in my tubes were just caused by mucus that could not be moved through either.  My doc cleared my tubes - I basically had an intense roto rooter session while having laproscopy.   They cleared them and then did a saline HSG to continue to keep them clear for a few months while I tried to TTC.   They also found issues with my cervix which is basically shaped like a switchback which is why for all my years I have had strange period issues.    In the end, my issues were not at all hormonal - all physical.    IVF is not even an option because with my crazy cervix and terrible tubes, no one wanted to give me good success rates.  I saw several REs and they all gave me the grimmest of prognosis.    I am now happily adopting.   

 

So yes, I tried for a while, was in denial and then moved on.   Now, I know some women cannot happily move on to adoption but for me, it was just the right thing.   I will always be "infertile" though.   I carry the title proudly now as I feel that so many women are afraid to talk about it.    


Dysania's Avatar Dysania 11:47 PM 12-30-2013
I felt like something was wrong after 3 months of weird periods but my doctor shrugged it off. Here I am more than a year after we started trying and still not pregnant.
monkeyscience's Avatar monkeyscience 10:07 AM 01-02-2014

I knew infertility was a strong possibility long before meeting my dh or getting married. I've had irregular periods my whole life, also got completely blown off by doctors like a previous poster. Through charting, I discovered I wasn't ovulating regularly when I was about 24. I was officially diagnosed with PCOS at 26, about a month before I got married. We did a round of fertility treatments just under a year after getting married because I hadn't ovulated that whole time. The treatment failed (though SIL did get pregnant with twins right around that time... talk about irony...), and we went on to conceive on our own about 6 months later. We also conceived on our own in August, but I miscarried in September. Even though I can clearly get pregnant on my own, making me much luckier in some ways than many in this forum, I still consider myself infertile, and have since long before hitting the "1 year of unsuccessful trying" mark set by many medical professionals. Someone once linked to a great article on "emotional infertility", which really hit home for me. I'll have to see if I can find it. Some days I do better than others, but even having had my son, I still have a lot of unresolved emotions about my fertility and my not-properly-functioning body. The miscarriage definitely did not help that.

 

Even if you are diagnosed as "infertile", it is NOT necessary to internalize/accept that label. Yes, you should accept the physical/medical reality of the fact that conception may be difficult or impossible on your own (or even with help), but you don't have to be emotionally branded by it, or give up all hope, or hate yourself. Whatever feelings you have, be they positive, negative, or confused, are perfectly okay. If you feel in a place to choose to reject the negativity, I highly recommend it. I do not like the negativity infertility has brought into my life. But I'm not yet in a place to challenge that. If I'd had a magic crystal ball so I could know then what I know then, I would have tried to be more positive/optimistic.


Xerxella's Avatar Xerxella 01:56 PM 01-07-2014
Sorry. Disregard this post.
Redmom's Avatar Redmom 08:51 PM 04-18-2014

I don't really know which category I belong to - I'm 40 y/o with a 3 y/o, and in the last 6 months we've conceived twice naturally, very quickly, but I miscarried both times. After the first m/c we sought he help of an RE, mostly b/c of my age and we figured it was better to have a relationship with the RE (b/c the worst time to find a doctor is when you really need one) and get the workups done etc, so that we were in the position to have options.

 

After the 2nd m/c my RE sent me for testing for recurrent pregnancy loss and I discovered I have a (mild) clotting disorder which is thought to increase the risk of m/c.  So it was hugely beneficial to have a doctor who was proactive about getting tested.

 

Even if I were younger, I think I would take a pro-active approach if we hadn't conceived in, say, 6 months of well timed intercourse. Knowing what I know now about the experiences some women have had - if there are underlying issues, the journey to conceive can be rather lengthy.

 

As for the definition of "infertile" - I feel like it is a poor descriptor, b/c it implies you can't have kids - but many couples with fertility challenges are able to conceive with assistance....so I think that's a better way of looking at it.


Redmom's Avatar Redmom 08:55 PM 04-18-2014
Quote:
Originally Posted by cagirlintexas View Post
 

We never did the unsucessful TTC thing.  My periods started late at 15 and were never regular.  I am still shocked I didn't get diagnosed in high school when my period lasted for a whole month with severe bleeding.  Went to the doctor and there solution was always birth control.  They never helped me.  When I was older and they stopped completely they still didn't care because I didn't want to get pregnant yet.  I knew I wasn't ovulating so when we wanted to get pregnant we went right in to the doctor for infertility treatment.  There was no way I was going to try at something I knew I wasn't going to be successful at.  Still frustrated that they blow women off unless they want to get pregnant. 

 

You make such excellent points cagirlintexas.  When I was in high school, one of the girls was absent each month, from having extremely painful periods.  Aside from the fact that she missed a huge amount of school, I think it's absolute b/s that young women are expected to tolerate this under the banner of it being "period pain".  I've come to learn that excessive pain, excessive cramping, migraines, heavy periods etc are NOT normal and indicative of an underlying problem or imbalance.  And yes - the problem gets masked by putting young women on the pill to regulate or dampen their cycles.  I feel like sex education is severely missing education on conceiving a baby, and what to look out for during our younger years, warning signs and red flags, which may make TTC more challenging.


Tags: Infertility
Up